Northern Territorians
'Crossin: death car inquest on'
'The Coroner will investigate how a man died when his vehicle and Senator Trish Crossin's Commonwealth car collided..... The announcement followed the completion of police inquiries into the fatal accident'. What didn't the police find? Meanwhile in a Labor Party newsletter, Crossin describes the incident as tragic yet the widow of the man claims she has never been contacted by Crossin.
'Bus drivers to walk off'
Bus drivers are holding a stopwork meeting at 1pm on Friday to decide on details of a new enterprise bargaining agreement. Why they all have to meet at once and shut down the whole bus network is anyone's guess but nothing like advertising their cause a little.
Wednesday 29 November 2000 - Northern Territory News
'Cyclone worry as low looms'
'A low with a 20 to 40% chance of developing into a cyclone in the next few days is lurking off the Territory coastline. The Weather Bureau has upgraded its wet season cyclone prediction from low to moderate to moderate.
'Free vinegar on the beach'
'Free vinegar to treat box jellyfish stings will be available at Mindil Beach next wet season'. Unfortunately having vinegar available may act as an encouragement for people to swim unaware of the real dangers of box jellyfish - death or lifetime scarring.. Vinegar stops jellyfish cells from firing venom into the body but does not act against venom already in the body. Another great idea from Darwin City Council.
'TAB blackout threat'
'Territory punters may not be able to bet at the TAB on local racing as the bookmakers' minimum bet furore deepens'. Now that other states are raising the threat stakes, local racing clubs are already baying for the blood of NT Racing Minister Tim Baldwin. But so far Mr Baldwin remains resolute. Wonder whether QTAB is aghast at the decision or whether they have a choice on what races they cover?
Tuesday 28 November 2000 - Northern Territory News
'Woman soldier in sex attack'
A member of the New Zealand peace keeping force was allegedly the victim of a sex attack at the Darwin RAAF base.
'Lightning strikes once as city cools'
Black clouds and lightning flashes made for some dramatic scenery over the Top End yesterday - and the Weather Bureau says there's plenty more on the way'. At last a weak monsoon trough has made its way to Darwin.
'NT blasted over race bets'
'The Australian Racing Board will consider slashing services to the Territory racing industry'. All this because the NT Government lowered minimum telephone bet levels for bookmakers despite a gentleman's agreement amongst other states not to. A gentleman's agreement - hehehehe.
Monday 27 November 2000 - Northern Territory News
'Raid caught on camera'
A sense of deja-vu. 'Thieves were filmed robbing Carla Furnishers at the weekend - the fifth burglary at the Winnellie store in four months'. This time the Northern Territory News did not black out the faces but didn't show any crime being committed.
Sunday 26 November 21000 - NSunday Territorian
'Man falls 15m in pool prank'
' A man who tried to jump into a pool from the third floor of an apartment block yesterday morning was fighting for his life last night'. Surprise, surprise he was intoxicated.
'Lights herald Xmas season'
No pissing on Xmas cheer for George. As George Brown turned the lights on to celebrate the start of the Xmas season, more than 3000 people erupted into cheer. Children danced and sang and Santa arrived in a horse-drawn carriage. Ahhhh.
Saturday 25 November 2000 - Northern Territory News
'Big resort plan for league park'
'The Darwin Rugby League may build a luxury tourist resort on its present playing field as part of a bold five-year plan'. Perhaps they could use it to hold all the spectators for the next Rugby League World Cup.
'Been drinking? Book a tow home'
An endless land of business opportunities. Japanese Engineering Centre is offering a new service for drunks - pay for a ride for themselves and their cars. The service is expected to start with three trucks but by next Darwin Cup day may well have 1000.
Friday 24 November 2000 - Northern Territory News
'Railway work starts in bush'
Nothing better than clearing a bit of land for development is there? 'Even before the huge project's finances have been finalised, a small team of workers is busily clearing land'.
Thursday 23 November 2000 - Northern Territory News
'Police warning: lock your home'
Yet more evidence of the success of mandatory sentencing. The coppers issued the warning after 40 burglaries in just 5 days, many while residents were asleep at home.
'A long Dry but is the end in sight?'
Simba the lion was feeling the heat yesterday. But the Weather Bureau has come to the rescue forecasting an end to the long dry this weekend. So far only 0.2mm has fallen in November.
Wednesday 22 November 2000 - Northern Territory News
'Driver on fire in car inferno'
'Flames licked at an injured motorist as he lay upside-down behind the wheel of this utility, wrecked after smashing into a power pole'. But the King Gee man - Graham- saved his life, dragging the driver to safety moments before his car burst into flames. And for once - no drink - a shredded tyre.
Tuesday 21 November 2000 - Northern Territory News
'Family robbed as they slept'
Another joyful story of a family who had their house ransacked by thieves including TV, jewellery and car.
'Jumping croc mauls fisherman'
'A crocodile leapt out of the water and savaged a fisherman as he reeled in a catch'. The attack occurred on the Kimberley coast in WA at Cambridge Gulf. The man was bitten on the neck and shoulder.
Monday 20 November 2000 - Northern Territory News
'Caught in the act'
'A pensioner infuriated by continual burglaries has snapped a photo of three teenagers breaking into a neighbouring unit' Well not quite. He asked them to smile just before they broke into the unit. Showing unbelieveable restraint the paper blacked out the faces of the three youths.
Sunday 19 November 2000 - Sunday Territorian
'Buy Now'
'Darwin house hunters should buy now, NT Real Estate Institute president Denis Power said yesterday. He said some vendors had slashed prices by up to $30,000 in recent months to make a sale'. Yes this is the same Denis Power that said only three days ago (see local news) that the local economy could not be in better shape. Basically this plea for business can only mean the market is well and truly stuffed.
'Buried girl: Mum wants answers'
'The anguished mother of a girl whose body was found in the Todd River wants her case to be re-opened.... Connie Braedon want s a review of the coronial report which found Cheryl's death was an accident. She said: "My daughter did not bury herself".
Saturday 18 November 2000 - Northern Territory News
'Killer driver's smoke search'
A 26-year-old woman who had three beers for breakfast ploughed over a median strip and slammed into a car killing a man. She was searching for a cigarette at the time. She pleaded guilty to doing a dangerous act causing death.
'Hey, look what they found'
A freshwater jellyfish was founf in an ornamental fish pond at Humpty Doo. The freshwater jellyfish Crespedocuta is reportedly almost unknown. Like that makes sense. Alien like, and half the size of a 5c piece, it suddenly appears near the surface of slow running creeks, lakes and artificial ponds, then disappears.
Friday 17 November 2000 - Northern Territory News
'Man dies, wife hurt in smash'
A man was killed and his wife injured when their car rolled on the way to Jim Jim falls in Kakadu. The man, a Swiss tourist, was not wearing a seatbelt. His wife, who was, was only slightly hurt.
'Huey teases Darwin but Alice cops it'
While Darwin suffers with dying plants, sweating people and with dogrs tongues dragging the ground, the Red Centre is being buffeted with hailstones the size of golf balls. Thankfully, according to the Weather Bureau there is hope that the monsoon will arrive in late November.
Thursday 16 November 2000 - Northern Territory News
'Mum's plea: Help my son live'
Four-year-old Dylan Madden needs a new liver. Come on - just die.
'Windies take 9 hours to fly from Alice to Vic'
Another taste of the Territory and a bit of bad luck. A blackout on Tuesday night, a technical hitch on a flight from Alice to Sydney, a delay in Sydney for half an hour and then diversion from Melbourne to Adelaide because of storms have dogged the Windies. And they haven't even played a test yet.
'Woman sues over 'racist' Aussie jokes'
An Australian woman claimed racial and sexual discrimination while working at the High Commission in London in 1995. Apparently Aussie jokes were partly to blame. Naturally enough the claims haven't resulted in any punitive action and have in fact being chucked out. So how does the paper cope with such torment - it simply lists a few Aussie jokes for our benefit.
Wednesday 15 November 2000 - Northern Territory News
'George flashes on TV: mango madness'
'Lord Mayor, George Brown flashed his red Playboy boxer shorts on national television yesterday'. George was interviewed on the Today show and confirmed what southereners think about Territorians. George was explaining mango madness, going troppo or just plain suffering prickly heat. Nudies during storms, 120m long sea snakes and a 15m giant lizard were all discussed. Anyway perhaps the board shorts will form part of the new Mayoral wardrobe and replace those ridiculous bathrobes usually worn.
Tuesday 14 November 2000 - Northern Territory News
'Porn on Net: 4 workers sacked'
Four employees at Nabalco's Nhulunbuy facility have been sacked after pedalling sexually explicit material. Another 50 male staff are expected to be warned. Probably says more about living in Hicksville and the difficulties associated withf remoteness, harrassment issues aside.
'Rape suspect punches cop'
Just one last shot!. A 23-year-old man punched a police auxillary after being refused bail. The poor chap fell forward onto the bar table, bleeding heavily before being taken to hospital.
Monday 13 November 2000 - Northern Territory News
'Dad sees death roll'
A father watched as a car driven by his wife rolled on Gunn Point Road near Darwin killing his daughter who was a passenger.
'Tracker tells how he found suspect'
'Crack tracker Teddy Egan told yesterday how he spotted a single footprint that led police to an accused murderer'. Explaining how easy it was he said 'This was not a hard job. I had water and chicken sandwiches - the man we were tracking had nothing'. The fact that the man had been spotted earlier in the day and Mr Egan arrived by helicopter may also have assisted in making it an easy job.
Sunday 12 November 2000 - Sunday Territorian
'Our lightning strike fright'
From the headline you could be forgiven for thinking that a lightning strike almost caused tragedy on a reasonably large scale in the Territory. But no, it is just a Darwin couple who's $100,000 catamaran was struck by lightning while anchored at the Gold Coast. The couple who were taking their dog for a walk said they owed their life to the pooch. No this is not a joke.
'Police catch Alice escapee'
'An accused murderer who escaped from custody at Alice Springs courtthouse has been caught by police near Standley Chasm after a two-day manhunt. The man was found with the help of an 'Aboriginal tracker' Teddy Egan. Was he Aboriginal or does he just track them and why is it relevant?
Saturday 11 November 2000 - Northern Territory News
'Bathroom killer found guilty'
Oh what a joyful place we live in. 'A 22-year-old man was found guilty of the murder of a 42-year-old man in the bathroom of a Northlakes unit.
Friday November 10 2000 - Northern Territory News
'Rocks hurled at shoppers'
'Palmerston shoppers were pelted by rocks up to the size of a half-brick this week in the latest of a series of hooligan acts at Palm City Oasis'. Several kids were taken to the police station but were released due to insufficient evidence. Their parents, however, were cautioned. Another joyous headline.
Thursday November 9 2000 - Northern Territory News
'I waited 90 min for ambulance'
'Firies treat crash victims'
Clot horror. A Palmerston resident claimed he had to wait 90 minutes for an ambulance to treat a blood clot that could have killed him in 10 minutes. Thankfully for him it didn't and we found out that at busy times there are only three ambulances to cover Darwin and Palmerston meaning that fire officers are now routinely treating accident victims. Day by day we get closer to the UK and US health systems. Ouch!
Wednesday November 8 2000 - Northern Territory News
'Brew stirs millions in Territory'
Predictable headline and very appropriate for Territorians. $1.1m ended up being spent on the Melbourne Cup and 5000 people turned up to Fannie Bay racecourse.
'Rum binge then man took kids'
A man, who after consuming a substantial amount of rum and beer stole a car with 2 young kids in it, was sentenced to three years and nine months jail.
Tuesday November 7 2000 - Northern Territory News
'Two mugged in city attacks'
You'll never know if you never ever go. 'Police are warning visitors to Darwin to be on the lookout for gangs following two violent attacks in Darwin City'. Police said that tourists were targeted in the attacks.
'It's the race that stops the Territory'
Another chance to get sloshed and gamble away hard-earned life savings. Yes it is Melbourne Cup day. Indeed a page 3 story encourages you to do just that - 'Get dressed, get out, and party hard'.
Monday November 6 2000 - Northern Territory News
'Battle won in gang war zone'
Hard to believe that Darwin could be a den of crime. But the Wagaman residents group has fought back after closures of laneways and the smartening up of a local park. Crime rates have now plummeted. Their next move is to install lighting on the last open laneway.
'Punters to spend $1m on big race'
The NT TAB is expecting Territorians to gamble $1 million on the Melbourne Cup tomorrow. And to show its appreciation the TAB is staying open all hours for even more splurging.
Sunday November 5 2000 - Sunday Territorian
'No booze on New Year's Eve'
Strewth. I can hear Bing Crosby singing from his grave 'I'm dreaming of a dry Christmas ....'. As Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve fall on a Sunday, Territorians will not be able to buy their booze from supermarket outlets. Naturally enough supermarket retailers are outraged with the president of the NT Liqour Stores Association quoted as saying 'All the small street corner shops rely on these two days to boost our whole year'. At least the retailers could drown their sorrows.
'Sea Terror'
In scenes reminiscent of the film Dead Calm, a Territory family's sailing adventure ended in a horrific attack off a remote North Queensland island. A 37-year-old man was jailed for 14 years for rape, torture and aggravated assault.
Saturday November 4 2000 - Northern Territory News
'Build-up at its worst and no relief'
Yes folks, its warm again - nights of 28C and days of 33C with humidity around 85% overnight. As the Northern Territory News informs us 'It's so hot right now you could fry an egg on the roof, the footpath - or almost anywhere'. The Weather Bureau blames overnight westerly winds for the 'hot and horrible' conditions. All Darwin residents are being asked to blow hard tonight in a westerly direction.