CHALLENGING DAYS

There are days in my life when I only know what I DON'T want. I don't know what I want. This is one of the most stressful times of my life because when there is no burning mission/goal in my mind to keep me busy, it saps the fun out of life.

I have to sit down and think of new ways to inject some fun in my life. This is one of those times when I must listen to myself. My inner voice is trying to tell me something. There may be new direction or new things that I can do to find more of myself. And those new things I have to do may require taking calculated risks.

When I only know what I DON'T want, these are the days when I just move with the flow, meaning I go to bed early (because there is no burning mission that drives enough adrenaline to keep me up at night) and wake up late. And I would try to do some reading that could inject some fun in my life.

But normally the moment I pick up a book or newspaper that initially seemed fun to read, the moment I flip the first few pages, the fun seems dissipated and I would put the reading material down and sat there and wonder what to do next. The television and the movie and the music and the parties and the computer don't seem appealing. So normally I would just end up sitting there and scratched my head and ruminate until something new comes along to catch my attention.

Of course if you have a job, the demands of your job will grab all your attention. But after work or after school, you just can't seem to get anything interesting going.

This is the time when you must pay particular attention to your inner voice, which means, among other things, not staying up late (at parties or with friends or with a book) and pushing yourself to go to bed as soon as you are physically and mentally tired.

This is the time you must do all you can to keep in touch with that inner voice, which will eventually tell you what you want, if you can tolerate these days of uncertainty and indecision and remind yourself that this awkward situation is not forever.

Control your temper and frustration during this period because it is not fair to others when you vent your frustration on others and the last thing you want to do is create conflicts that take your attention away from listening to yourself.

Rest assured that your inner voice will not tell you to kill someone or do anything else that you do not want done to yourself or an innocent person.