TIME MANAGEMENT SPEECH GIVEN AT A TOASTMASTER INTERNATIONAL PUBLIC SPEAKING CLUB MEETING

So the most unproductive time of my day is when I am eating, sitting inside a toilet, and sleeping.

For me, of the three, eating and sitting inside a toilet are the most easily acceptable unproductive activities.

While eating, I can still do some productive reading to while away the time.

And while sitting inside a toilet, I can practice my public speeches or make some phone calls.

"Hey, brother, guess where I am at right now? I am sitting inside a nice toilet in one of San Francisco's most expensive hotels. This toilet is great. The walls reach all the way up to the ceiling. The cubicle is ample for two people. Plenty of privacy guaranteed if you don't make too much noise."

As you can see, eating and sitting inside a toilet can be a very productive use of time.

But what productive task can I possibly do while I am sleeping? (Before you think I can benefit from one of those subliminal learning while sleeping machines/cassette tapes, I beg you, "Don't even think about it".)

I have a message for those drug companies out there: I am certain one of the most profitable drugs ever invented will be a drug that can reduce sleep without any side effect.

Who knows. We now have Viagra. May be we are closer to a harmless sleep reduction drug than we think.