WHY SOME PEOPLE JUST DON'T LIKE YOU?

Another way of asking the same question is why you just do not like some people?

Don't give me excuses such as "I don't like that person because of that person's attitude, personality, habits, character......"

You know that in spite of all these, you still like some people and dislike certain others.

Here is proof of why I know this to be true.

Just walk into any room full of strangers who have their name tags on their chests. Make sure your ears are plugged so that you hear as little of their chatter as possible while you spend ten minutes walking around the room looking at every one of them. Do not talk to or even smile at any of them. Pretend that you are a director and your eyes are video camera making a home movie.

Then write down what your instinct tells you. I am sure it will not take you long to fill up the following two lists using the names of some of the strangers in the room.

List 1: Names of strangers whom I can see myself hanging out with on a social basis.

List 2: Names of strangers whom I just cannot see myself having anything to do with at any level, even though I do not know anything about this person except the face and the name.

What is going on here? Why do we instinctively like some strangers and dislike some other nicer strangers within 1 minute of meeting that person for the first time?

The reason is, for lack of a better word, chemistry.

Are we talking about science here?

No.

Chemistry is the best word I can use to explain the phenomenon above.

So what if we know chemistry is behind this? What is the use of this knowledge?

For those people who try very hard to impress others and try to befriend everyone, I say stop wishing you could become the most popular person you ever know.

Stop wasting your time. There are just some people who are not impressed with you, no matter how hard you try.

It's fair because the reverse is happening to you too. There are some people whom you just do not want to have anything to do with, no matter how nice others say they are.

Knowing this will help you in not taking things personally. Some people do not like you simply because they can't help it. There is nothing wrong with you. You are just the same as them. You do not like some people no matter how nice they are and you know you cannot help it, in spite of the fact that there is nothing wrong with them.

You just know instinctively that you do not jibe with them.

Knowing this has helped me judge others at a different level.

I now do my best not to judge others by how I feel about them. I now do my best to judge others by the values and the attitude that they have.

I try not to have anything to do with people who are, to me, very nice to interact with socially but who have lousy values and bad attitude.