Captain Planet, I Choose You!

       It was another day on Hope Island. The Planeteers were sitting in their huts, discussing various methods of recycling. "I think there should be a death for not sorting different colors of glass," said Gi.
        "Um, don't you think that's a bit much?" asked Wheeler.
        "I get it. You're one of them aren't you? Aren't you? Admit it!"
        Kwame said, "One of who? What are you talking about, Gi?"
        Gi narrowed her eyes and fled, muttering something about a dragonfly in trouble on the other side of the island.
        "That was weird," said Linka. "Anyway, I think that it would be a really good idea if people took old paper, and, you know, changed it into new paper! Then we wouldn't have to waste trees!" Everyone stared at Linka and then burst into laughter.
        "That was a good one, Linka!" exclaimed Wheeler. "I always thought I was the funny one!"
        "In more ways than one," muttered Ma-Ti.
        "Hey, I'm more of a man than you'll ever be and more of a woman than you'll ever get!" exclaimed Wheeler. "Wait, I mean, um, oh, shut up, Heart-Boy." Ma-Ti burst into tears and made his monkey bite Wheeler.
        "Ow! That really hurt!" exclaimed Wheeler. The room was soon filled with the unmistakable odor of burning monkey fur.
        "You did have that coming, you know. It's not fair to make fun of Ma-Ti just because all the good elements were taken," admonished Kwame. Ma-Ti started crying again and went to go bandage his monkey. Meanwhile, Gi had discovered and unexpected visitor to Hope Island.
        "Pika!"
        "What the hell is that thing? Waaater!" cried Gi. Pikachu gave a few weak sparks and then passed out.
        Ash yelled, "Hey! What did you do to my Pikachu?"
        "Who the hell are you?" asked Gi. "And what are you doing on our island?"
        "I came searching for the rare 234th Pokemon, Barnachu. It's a big, purple, electric dinosaur!"
        "It's probably endangered. Go away."
        "I challenge you to a battle! Charizard, I choose you!"
        "Water!"
        "Char..."
        "Dammit, stop doing that! You're not a Pokemon, that's cheating!"
        "Um, Gi, what are you doing?" asked Ma-Ti. He was still pissed because Wheeler had made fun of his power. It wasn't his fault he had a crappy power. It was Gaia's, that stupid...he got mad just thinking about it.
        "This stupid brat somehow got on our island. I think he's smuggling endangered species."
        Ma-Ti asked, "Can I kick his ass?" If he closed his eyes, he could pretend it was Gaia...
        "Hmm, no, I think we should take him to see the others first. Hands behing your head, punk!" A terrified Ash complied, and they marched back to Kwame, Wheeler, and Linka.
        "Who's that?" asked Kwame.
        Looking as evil as possible for a short Asian girl, Gi replied, "Some punk that thinks he can poach on our island!'
        "Who does he think he is?!?" wondered a shocked Wheeler.
        Ma-Ti asked, "Can I beat him up yet?"
        Linka, the cool, analytical one, sensibly replied, "Let's kill the bastard!"
        "What did you just say?" asked Kwame.
        "I'm tired of being the logical one. I quit. I want to do something irresponsible and fun! Now let's kill him!" In their haste to be the first to kill Ash, they forgot that if they tried to use all of their powers at once, it would summon Captain Planet.
        "The power is yours!"
        Ma-Ti looked up and said, "Oh, shit. Who called Captain Planet?"
        "Um, you all did. Remember? By all your powers combined, I am Captain Planet!"
        Linka said, "Damn. Um, well, it was an accident, can you please go now?"
        "Not so fast. What are you guys doing? asked a suspicious Captain Planet. He was almost positive he smelled burning Pokemon.
        "Um...nothing!" said Wheeler.
        Captain Planet glared at him and said, "You grew up in New York; I would have thought you were a better liar than that!" Wheeler looked embarrassed and shut up. "I knew it! You're beating up that Pokemon kid, aren't you?"
        "Well, he was poaching!" exclaimed Kwame.
        "I was just going to say, make sure you kill Pikachu, too. Pokemon is killing us in the ratings! Remember, the power is yours!" The Planeteers gave a collective cheer and closed in on their prey.

The end.