Everything I Need To Know In Life
I Learned From the Marx Brothers

 You don't have to speak to be heard.

 Your Breeder's Guide...Don't leave home without it!

 There ain't no Sanity Clause.

 Beware of strangers selling Tootsie-Frootsie Ice Cream.

 Never confuse a flash with a fish or a flitz or 
 a flush or a flute.

 People are honest but you've got to watch them.

 Sometimes fighting for someone ELSE'S honor is probably
 more than they will ever do.

 When in doubt, the password is "Swordfish"

 You CAN burn the candle at both ends.

 When making any sort of request, it doesn't hurt to
 add "And two hard boiled eggs".

 The Lord Alps those who Alp themselves.

 Outside of a dog a book is Man's best friend.
 Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.