I don’t own the trooper or anything affiliated with them so please don’t sue me... Okay? Anything you read here is purely fictional and not to be taken seriously. I make no apologies for having anyone out of character nor do I apologize for the Shonen AI content. Now that that’s out of the way.... Go on and read.

By Wildefyre

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He stood in the back and watched, unable to take his eyes off the small casket that sat up front. Tears fell swiftly down over his paled cheeks as he sobbed silently. The darkened skies threatened, the chill in the air nipped at his skin as he pulled his jacket closed. It wasn’t real, he kept telling himself, just a dream, he repeated over and over in his mind.

Looking to the ground his body shook, nothing could have prepared him for this pain his heart now felt. To have something so precious torn from him in such a horrible way was more then his emotions could comprehend.

An arm draped itself gently across his shoulders in an attempt at comforting him, but it couldn’t. Nothing could... He was gone, ripped from his life forever. Still more tears fell, his mind numbed, thoughts drifting but never settling.

Looking up he saw the service had ended and the bands of mourners were dispersing, some stopping to offer their words of sympathy while others just glared at him, angry that he had shown up with HIM, the one they saw as the enemy.

It was then that he then saw her. Her frail body unable to carry the weight of her loss any longer and she crumbled to her knees in front of the small casket. He could hear her sobs, so weak and heart wrenching. Her grief had started long before today... Long before the illness, that had taken the life of the one they had produced, began.

Wanting desperately to console her, he took a step forward but stopped. The memories of their parting were flooding his mind. He could still see the hurt in her eyes, the sounds of her cries still haunted his sleep, but he knew there wasn’t anything he could do. Destiny had sent him on a different path, the one he was always meant to walk and now he had to live with that.

It was never meant to happen like it did, they had been so happy but Life has a way of throwing you a curve and you have to either act on it or let it pass you by... He acted. Part of him never regretted making the choices he did, but now as he stood there he wondered if he could have made it easier.

Maybe he could have lessened her grief, but who knew that destiny would once again step in and sent another one down a new path... This one led to one place, the place they stood at now.

When he looked up again he saw that she was watching him, her eyes sunken due to her weakened state. The past few months had sped up the self-destruction of her soul, he was shocked at just how quickly it had happened. She was a shadow of the woman he once knew and loved. He had known that her life was slipping but figured she wouldn’t harm herself, she had someone who needed her.

When he had gotten the call 6 months ago his own world started crumbling, it was just too much to fathom. How could this happen? Why had fate reared its ugly head in such a horrific manner? This shouldn’t have happened, he was much too young, but death doesn’t care about age, it takes without questioning.

He could feel his knees weakening and surely would have collapsed had it not been for the saving grace of the arms that surrounded him, holding him steady.

He watched as she held out a frail hand, beckoning him to come forward. Her face pleading for his presence beside her. Slowly he made his way to the front; his legs growing weaker the closer he got. Kneeling on the frozen ground in front of her, he could do little more then hang his head in shame. The link that once bound them was gone; they were now two separate souls.

“Why?” His voice croaked out. “Why did he have to die?” He questioned. He knew she didn’t have the answers, but he needed to ask, he needed reassurance that he had done all he could, that they could, to save him.

Their only son, the one thing good that had been produced out of this whole mess, now lay forever entombed within the casket before him. He had been getting sicker and no one could tell them why, that is until 6 month ago. “A rare disease that prevents the body from absorbing calories and nutrients.” Was how it was described.

//He couldn’t even remember what it was called only that it caused his once healthy 6-year-old to slowly wither away to nothing. The once thriving and active little boy was soon a mere shadow of his former self; losing weight rapidly and all the energy needed to play.// Reaching out with a trembling hand, he touched the cold tomb in hopes of keeping some contact with the little boy whose lifeless body now lay inside.

“He’s gone Touma... My last link to you, our son, is gone.” Her voice barely audible as her weak and weary body tried to speak. “No longer do you have a need to be seen with me, HE has you all to himself now. I now this isn‘t how you wanted it to be, but this is how it is.” She struggled with each word as she looked over at his lover.

“I’m so sorry...” Was all he could get out before tears flew down his cheeks. It still didn’t seem possible, he really was gone. Gone was the laughter he loved to hear... Gone were the two little arms that would wrap around his neck and squeeze him tightly... Gone was the small voice that would tell him “I love you daddy” every night that he called to talk to him...

Never again would he see the sparkle that lit up his dark blue eyes every time he came to pick his son up... Every weekend, like clockwork, no exceptions. How did things get so screwed up? They had been so happy? All of that was gone now...

//Just 7 years ago he was happily whisking his new bride off to some exotic location for their honeymoon... Just 3 months after that they celebrated the news that they were to become parents. Just 6 years ago he was rushing her to the hospital as her labor progressed. Just six months later a change occurred. A new love found its way into his heart, he couldn’t stop it, nor did he even try to.

It was the love Touma had wanted for so many years yet was never realized. They had been the closest of friends but family duty had ripped HIM away before Touma could tell HIM of the love that was blossoming. Maybe if Touma had swallowed his fears and said something back then, all this would not be happening now.

That love never left Touma, always waiting, laying dormant within his heart in hopes it could be resurrected. Then one day it happened, he had seen his friend in town and the two shared an enjoyable afternoon catching up on lost time. That’s when he found out what his friend had tried to hide from him and the others. His arranged marriage had failed, miserably.

“I couldn’t love her... I loved another.” He had confessed.

Before Touma knew what was happening he was being kissed by the one person he had wanted for longer then he could imagine. Realizing that his own marriage would not survive such scandal, he went home to her and confessed everything. The fight that night left them both shattered, each of them saying things that cut deeper then any knife could.

“I hate you! Get out and never come back! Our son deserves better!” She had shouted, her pain becoming too much or her. Tears rolled down her face as she watched him pack. Bitterness was filling her, but it was the kind that never stayed, her love for Touma was just too strong.//

Now as he faced her, cold wind biting into their souls, he hoped that maybe she could somehow forgive him. “I never meant to hurt you, I...” He couldn’t finish, he was too ashamed.

“I forgive you. Your love for HIM was greater then what you had for me, I couldn’t compete with that and I knew it.” She sat back on her legs as she gasped for air. “My time too is coming to a close.” She said suddenly. “I only held on for our son... He needed me, but now he’s gone...”

“No! You must carry on... You have to in memory of our child.” He trembled as he scooted closer and pulled her into his arms. “You’re strong, you can pull through this...” He kissed the top of her head. “You can’t give up... You still have so much to give, plus I still need you.”

“No Touma, you were the strong one, you always were. It’s time for me to go now, there’s nothing left here for me anymore. You don‘t need me, you have HIM now. He‘s your strength now, not me.” She took in some air and continued weakly. “Gone is the love I once had with you... Gone is the life we once shared... Gone are the happy times we had. The laughter, the tears, the joy and the sorrow are all gone. Our son was my only link to the one love I had found but now he‘s gone and the link is forever broken.”

Her tears fell silently and he wiped them away. “All that’s left are memories and I can’t survive on just those... No Touma, everything I had, everything that once meant something to me... are gone.”

“No... You can’t...” Two fingers came up to touch his lips and silence him... He kissed them.

“It’s okay; I have nothing to fear and no regrets. My heart started dying the day you walked out of my life, and now that our son is gone, it’s time for me to go as well. Don’t fret my love, I don’t blame you, you followed your heart just as I have followed mine.” She smiled slightly.

You are forever free Touma so go to HIM now and be happy. I have seen the joy he brings to you... There‘s a spark in you that I could never bring out... He has.”

“I’m sorry it turned out this way... You have to know that.” He told her.

“I know that my sweet, I’ve always known it.” She gasped for more air as she clutched her chest. “Whatever I had is gone and now so must I. But before I do, please answer me one question?” She forced her head up to look into his midnight blue eyes that were filled with tears.

“W... What is it?” He asked holding her as close to him as he could. He heard a siren; someone must have called for help. He trembled hoping against all hope that she could hold on for a few more minutes. Please, don’t take her too. He pleaded in his mind.

“Was there ever a time that you did really love me and only me?” Her eyes searched his for the answer.

“Yes, there was a time when I did truly love you and only you.” He laid his head on hers as he felt her life force ebbing away. “No don’t, not yet... Please not yet.” He sobbed harder.

“Good then it makes all my suffering worth while; I will not die feeling unloved. Know this Touma... I never stopped loving you.” One small intake of air and then silence as her ragged breathing ceased and her body went limp in his arms.

“No... Don’t go.” He said softly against her hair. “I still need you.” He spoke through sobs as she was pulled from him. Someone helped him to his feet, but his eyes stayed on her, watching as they tried desperately to bring life back into her body. He knew it was futile, she was gone...

When the ambulance silently pulled away he picked up the white rose she had been clutching and placed it on the casket. Kissing the top of the wooden enclosure. He whispered “Daddy’s here... I love you Hoshi, sleep tight.” He cried. Two arms encircled his waist as the warmth of his lover’s body shielded him from the cold wind that had picked up.

“I’m so sorry Touma... Is there something I can do?” He asked; concerned for the man he loved.

“No Seiji, there’s nothing you can do.” Touma replied and allowed himself to be led away Turning and giving one last look at the tiny casket; he gasped as it hit him. “They may be gone, but the memories we shared will forever live on...”

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Okay I know it’s depressing but it’s the mood I’m in right now. This whole thing just swept into my head and I knew I had to get it written down. I know some may find it to be sub par as far as fics go, but that’s okay. I write what I feel and for myself. Please review if you could, it would be appreciated.

Just so you know, I am working on Chapter 12 to “Test of the Hearts” so please be patient and maybe you’ll get what you have all been waiting for....