~ The song is actually called “Misty’s Song” by Cummings/Loeffler off the Pokemon “2 B. A. Master CD”. I found the words to fit so well with Seiji and Touma. I don’t own the Troopers, the song or any other characters, so please don’t sue me. ~

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(Touma)

///On nights like this, I lose myself in its beauty. I usually find peace in the sight that looms above my head. A night sky filled with tiny points of light, glittering like jewels. Stars born long before this world was formed. Some still exist while others have long since died; yet their light joins with the others to put on a show unlike anything you may have seen before. I feel a closeness to those stars and all they represent for I am Tenku no Touma, or as I’m usually known as, Touma Hashiba.

Tonight though my thoughts drift elsewhere. New feelings have arisen with in me that both excite and shock me and so I sit here to wonder through my confusion, trying to sort it out. I hear the sliding glass door open but I don’t need to see who it is that has invaded my sanctuary. We’ve been friends for so long that I can sense when you are nearby. The link that made us brothers in arms also made us friends and now I feel a new bond swirling with my soul.

Turning to you I smile, the moonlight washes over your perfect features and I feel my pulse racing just from the mere sight of it. You, my friend, you are the reason for this confusion that plagues my mind.///

///You ask me with a voice that is soft and so soothing to my ears. I can only nod my head to you; too afraid to speak for I fear the sound of my voice will betray the emotions I have within. I have noticed lately that I seem to trip on my tongue and the words I speak come out as something else whenever I am close to you. I find myself getting lost in your handsome features and gentle voice.

I watch you as you gracefully walk over to sit in the chair beside mine. My skin tingles just from the sheer closeness of you. You are truly a sight to behold, tall and slim but with a bit of upper body muscle. You’re graceful, dignified and prideful. You’re polite and very well polished for someone so young. Your golden hair with the lock that lie across your right eye reminds me of spun sunlight.///

///You ask after a moment or so of silence. You smile at me and it touches my soul and once again I become lost in all that is you. I tell you of my dream to return to the sky someday, to float amongst the stars. I tell you how the stars seem to talk to me, beckoning me to come to them and though I wish to very much, now is not the right time. How can I leave to go to one natural beauty when there’s one sitting so close to me?

You nod your head in agreement for you too hear a calling. The forest beckons you to come to it and grace it with your warmth and light. The light that envelopes your heart and soul I see so clearly now for you and I complement each other. I am the night with the stars to light the way and you are the day with the sunlight that warms the earth.

Like the sun, your warmth washes over me to caress my restless soul. I relish the calm silence that flows between us for we don’t need words to speak, we rarely do. Somehow over time we have developed a special understanding. It’s a bond that allows us to know just what needs to be said and so we sit and watch the night sky as the movement of stars marks the passing of time.

Once more I feel the tingle as I steal quick glances of you. Yes Seiji my feelings for you are strong. You are my daylight, my ray of sunshine and I only wish I could speak the words that would allow you to see all that you are to me. Would you understand? Would you see that I speak from my heart, words that I could never speak to another soul? I can only wonder as I stare upwards towards the heavens.///

(Seiji)

///Hesitantly at first, I slip out the door to find you lost in your thoughts. My breath is taken away by the way the moonlight dances across your handsome features to give them a soft glow. What thoughts have you become lost in my friend? Do you hear the heavens calling for you just as the forest calls for me? I have found myself thinking of you a lot lately. Watching you when you are not looking, wondering what it is about you that has captured my thoughts and heart this way.

Lately my thoughts of you have taken on a new meaning. I find myself wanting to be near you any chance I can get. There‘s a growing need I feel to have you close by me. I can’t help it Touma, you have grown so deep within my heart and the mere thought of not having you around me is just too unbearable.

I smile when you turn to look at me, and when you take my offer to join you; my heart seems to float within the walls of my chest. We exchange a few words and you speak to me of your dreams, of returning to the heavens, the sound of your voice fills my head like a soothing lullaby.

You have such a pleasant voice, one that is soft and filled with so much beauty and passion.

We sit there silently for words just aren‘t needed right now.

That’s how we are a lot of times Touma. Silent yet somehow speaking volumes with our eyes and our smiles Lately though I see something else in those eyes, but cannot figure out just what it is. There’s a new softness there that I had not noticed before. I then wonder if you see the same thing in me or have I become too good at masking my emotions?///

///You speak finally and I jumped slightly since my own thoughts had taken me deep inside myself. You turn to face me and I see sadness behind the looks you give. How I wish I could soothe that away. To comfort you in way that is usually reserved for those who are intimate with each other. Sadly, I cannot and so I think carefully before replying to your question.///

///How I love hearing you talk especially when we’re alone like this. These moments have become very special to me. It’s in these moments that you always seem to share a part of yourself that you would not normally share with others. I feel honored to be privy of such a thing and it fills my heart with pride just knowing that I am the one that you tell these things to.

There are other mannerisms you have that I find just as appealing. Like the way you arch your eyebrow when you’re trying to make a point or when you tease. Then there’s your laugh, which always makes me smile. What always puts my heart in motion is the cute way you cock your head to one side. I don’t think I have ever witnessed anything so adorable before.

What I love the most is the way your eyes sparkle whenever you get excited about something. They are so much like the sky we are viewing at this very moment. Mysterious, yet so magical. It’s those things and so much more that have me thinking of you the way I do Touma. I only wish I knew how to tell.///

///Your voice holds a sadness that wrenches at my heart and once again I am overcome with the urge to hold and comfort you but like all the times before... I refrain. You’ve been on your own for so long and now that you have us for friends, you want so much to fit in. That’s just it Touma-san, you do. You also fit into my heart just right and I often wonder how well you would fit into my arms.

I have tried my hardest to understand what it must have been like for you to grow up in a home where you were treated like one of the adults. You should not fear though, for I find your intelligence quite refreshing. It seems to match my personality so well, like we were made for each other. Maybe that’s one of the reasons why I feel so drawn to you. Once again I think about the words before I say them, too afraid that I could say more then I should and have the secret in my heart bared. No I cannot let that happen.///

“No not at all. I do think that you get too analytical at times and I think you try too hard but that‘s what makes you unique. Touma just relax, we accepted you for who you are from within, not for your intelligence level.”

///You flash me a smile as you nod your head to acknowledge the things that I have said. I hear you sigh softly and that brings a lump to my throat. You are just so sweet Touma and I only wish I could tell you just how much.

Silence surrounds us once more and I use this time to study you, taking in all that I can. I find myself doing this a lot lately and I fear that one day one of the guys will notice just how closely I watch you. I fear that they will see the emotions that lie just under the surface, the ones I try so hard to mask. I find myself lost in you once again and though it frightens me, I don’t run from it. I simply accept it and allow it to overtake me.///

(Touma)

///As I sit here watching nature’s most beautiful show, the night sky and all it‘s offerings, I can’t help but smile. It’s how I always feel whenever I’m sharing something with you and now I only wish I could share what‘s in my heart. I get the strangest sensation that I am being watched and slowly I turn to look at you. It’s you! You have been watching me! I can’t help but smile at you before you quickly turn and look away. Why do you turn away?

The moonlight hits your face just right and I could swear that I see a blush tinting your smooth cheeks. I find that so endearing and then I feel the heat in my own cheeks rise as well. A single thought crosses my mind and for a moment I start thinking that maybe you could have feelings for me. No, I should not think those things and so I quickly banish the thought. I sigh softly and settle back into my chair, content in knowing that you are beside me.///

(Seiji)

///My heart is pounding madly now. Did you see? Could you sense what my heart was feeling at that moment? Could you see the emotions riding so close to the surface, within my eyes? When you turned and caught me staring at you I panicked and quickly turned away. My cheeks must be stained pink for I can feel the flush in them. Can you see that as well? I can’t help myself though; it brings me so much pleasure to watch you as you study the sky that you love so well.

God Touma if you only knew what you do to me. How you make me smile. How easily you make me laugh and how your very being seems to caress my soul. I wish I could tell you what is inside this heart of mine. To just open up and confess these feelings that have grown and flourished over time and to tell you just what you mean to me. I want to Touma, I just don’t know how.///

(Touma)

///God Seiji if you knew how I felt what would you do? Your friendship means so much to me and I fear a confession of my heart could ruin that. I don’t know how I could live with myself if I lost what we have now. I’ve dealt with rejection in the past, from various schoolmates and a girl or two, but a rejection by you would be too painful.

I want to tell you how I feel. I want you to know just what it is you do to me. How your smile warms my heart and how hearing your laughter fills my soul with joy but how? How does one confess something like this to another? I fear rejection by you, my best friend and so I wonder. If I told you how I felt Seiji, would you break my heart? I doubt that I could handle being pushed away by you.///

(Seiji)

///This is driving me crazy, here I am sitting next to the one I care for yet I cannot bring myself to tell you. How hard can it be? Why? Why must this simple act of confessing ones true feelings seem like a task of mammoth proportions?

Could it be due to the fact that as two males our love would be frowned upon by society? Not that I would care, though my family’s acceptance could be a factor for me, yet even that hasn’t kept me from feeling this way.

I know what’s in my heart, I know what it is I’m feeling yet I cannot find the words to express it. I only wonder if I ever will. That’s a thought that I quickly tear from my mind, to never know you as a lover would be devastating to me.

I can no longer deny what is in my heart for you Touma, nor can I invalidate the feelings I have for you. I love you Touma-san, that’s all there is to it... I love you. So simple a thing to say, yet so hard a thing to do.///

(Seiji)

///I’ve begun to keep a journal just for all the things I think concerning you. I even wrote out everything I would tell you in hopes that it would make it easier on me. I wrote down just what I feel for you, ever word, every line I would possibly say. I even find myself practicing the words while in the shower, driving in my car, or anywhere else that finds me alone and away from listening ears. I think that by doing that it will make it easier to say them.///

(Touma)

///God Seiji you look so handsome sitting there. I wonder what it would be like to be held in those arms? Sure we have hugged one another but not truly held each other as lovers would. I’ve often wondered what it would be like to have those lips of yours touching mine. Are those lips just as soft as they look? Sometime I can almost imagine myself kissing you as my hands caress smooth milky white skin.

I keep telling myself that I’m going to do it, I’m going to tell you how I feel but I always stop myself. Too afraid of the things you’d say. I’m just not brave enough. My heart is filled with so much love for you, and if I could just find the way to tell you, I would. If I could just find the courage I would tell you everything that is in my heart.///

(Seiji)

///I feel your eyes on me and I know that you are watching me and on reflex I turn to you only to have you quickly turn your beautiful eyes away. Damn! You appear to be embarrassed as you pick at the sleeves of your shirt. Your shyness is so appealing and it only serves to stir the embers that smolder just under my mask.

With your gaze lowered I see more clearly the long lashes that frame your eyes and what wonderful eyes they are. Midnight blue like the night sky, full of wonderment and enthusiasm. They are the eyes that I would love to have gazing into mine, as I would hold you close.

Please Touma, don’t look away, I know that if you would look into my eyes right now you would see what it is that I am feeling. Everything I am, all that you are to me, is lying right behind them. All you have to do is look.///

(Touma)

///Oh God you saw! You saw me staring and now you’re most likely wondering what I’m thinking. I can’t tell you Seiji. I wouldn’t know where to begin or just how to even start explaining. My heart seems to burst with love for you and I’m sure that some of that must be reflected in my eyes. How could it not? For with you I find it harder then ever to hide what my heart wants you to see.///

(Seiji)

//There are so many things I find that I love about you. Like the way that one stubborn lock of hair always falls down over your nose. Then there’s your smile, which warms my heart, and lips that practically beg to be kissed.

God Touma I find myself wanting you more and more with each passing day but I must control those feelings. What would happen if I did speak them? Would you understand or would you turn and walk away?

That’s why I hide these feelings I have for you. I want to tell you. I really do my friend, but if I tell you and you reject me and the words I would speak, it would break my heart. You are very special to me Touma-san. To think that I could lose that friendship by revealing feelings I have learned to suppress, keeps these words locked deep in my heart.///

(Touma)

///As I sit here I start to recall a day when I had almost told you what was in my heart Seiji. That was the day we had rescued you in New York. When I found you chained to the star and the weakened look you gave me, I almost blurted out how I felt. I really wanted to, it’s just that I couldn’t. I couldn’t make my mouth form the words.

Expressing what one has in his heart would seem like such an easy thing to do, but not for me. I never knew what it was like to have real friends until I met up with you and the others. That in itself was quite a lifestyle change for me, yet after awhile I realized just how great it was to have my friends around me.

Maybe someday I will see how great it is to speak the simple words of love and know what it’s like to have them returned. It seems so effortless to tell you that I love you, yet they are words I cannot seem to let go of.///

(Seiji)

///Now as I sit here watching you I see the creases furrowing your brow. What has got that perfect face so puzzled? Every time I go to look at you I find you turning away. Why Touma? Could you feel the same thing for me as I feel for you? Is that it? Then you must be as scared of your feeling as I am of mine.

How do I find out? What if I’m wrong? I don’t want to risk our friendship by saying something I’ll later regret. You are so perfect Touma, words cannot do you justice and I wish you could see that.///

(Touma)

///Oh God Seiji I don’t know how long I can go on like this. It’s getting harder and harder to hide what I’m feeling from you. Dammit why must I hide this? Can’t you see how I feel? If you would look into my eyes right now, would you be able to see the love I have for you hiding in them? I turn to look at you again and when I do I see a spark in your beautiful eyes and your smile is brighter. Could it be? Please Seiji give me some kind of sign.///

(Seiji)

///If I could just find the right words Touma, I’d confess everything. You are more precious to me then anyone could possibly know or understand. The words are so close to the surface that there are times when I have to stop myself from talking for fear that I will blurt them out and ruin all we have going.

How do I tell you? How do I even begin to say all that my heart feels for you? I find myself turning to look at you and every time I think I’m just going to say, I stop. I don’t know where to start or even if I should? If I knew how you felt about me... Oh what’s the point? I can’t risk our friendship by confessing my true feelings. I just can’t.///

(Touma)

///God Seiji do you know how hard this is for me? I care for you so much... I love you Seiji more then the heavens that rest above us yet I can’t bring myself to telling you. If I did and you push me away, it would be the end of me. I couldn’t handle having my heart broken by the one person I respect and admire as much as I do.

How much longer before my heart can finally be free? How much more must I put myself through before I finally see that true happiness lies with you? If I speak the words that lie within my heart will I know love or will I experience a heartbreak like nothing I have ever known?///

(Touma)

///Why do things have to be so difficult? Three simple words, eight letters in all, yet they are the hardest words I could ever have roll off my tongue. I watch you as you sit beside me and wonder why telling you how I feel should be so hard to do? Is it fear of being loved back that keeps me from speaking those words or the fear of losing the best thing ever to grace my life? Three simple words... Eight letters in all.///

(Seiji)

///Just look at you... I can see the love you have for your stars, your heavens, your element. Your eyes reflect it. What I wouldn’t do to have you look at me that way. With eyes that are filled with love and a heart and soul consumed with passion. These dreams could come true if I only had the strength to tell you how I feel, but I can’t.

The words may look simple, but saying them is harder then I could have imagined. I have had to speak words far more complex yet not once have I faltered, so why should this be any different? If I can speak words much harder then these wouldn’t that make these words that much more easier? It may be true in theory but in the real working operations of life they are much harder then one can ever know.///

(Touma)

///So here I sit side by side with the person I’m in love with only you don’t know it. I want to tell you... Simple words... All I have to do is open my mouth and speak them.///

///I whisper it under my breath, shocked that I even did that. Biting my lip I sit here frozen in place, closing my eyes as tightly as I can, hoping you didn’t hear. I’m just too scared of what you would say.///

(Seiji)

///I sit here and watch the sky with you wishing I could tell you what’s in my heart. Several times I turn to look at you attempting to gain the courage to speak those three words that haunt my mind. I want to tell you... I really do Touma... I hear you speak and turn to ask you what it was you said, but you act as though you said nothing. I guess it was the wind playing tricks with my mind. I feel the fatigue hitting me and I can’t stop the yawn that escapes my lips. Looks like our night is almost over... Sorry my friend.///

(Touma)

///I let out the breath I was holding, partly relieved that you didn’t hear me, and partly wishing that you would have. I watch as you stretch and yawn and my heart sinks, our special moment is soon drawing to a close. I still have a chance though... All I need to do is say those damn words! Why can’t I do it? Why?///

(Seiji)

///I wish the night wasn’t ending yet for us. It could last much longer if I would just speak the words in my heart... You’re my best friend, you’ll understand, you’ll accept the things I say. So why can’t I do it?///

(Touma)

//If I told you how I felt you would stay here with me. I’m sure of it. Why should I continue hiding the feelings I have for you? If I let this moment pass me by will I get another chance? God I’m so unsure of what I should do. I give you a smile and I see conflict written on your face, why? Do you have something you need to tell me as well?//

(Seiji)

///Am I really going to do this? My heart is pounding as you turn to look at me and smile, but then I see a puzzled look on your face and I freeze. No I can’t... I can’t say it. DAMN!///

(Touma)

///I look up at you and wait for you to speak but then all you do is look out over the balcony’s edge. What’s wrong Seiji? You seem so troubled. My stomach is in knots as I watch you. I love you so much and to see you like this just tears me up. How I wish I could just sweep you into my arms right now and kiss that confusion away.///

(Seiji)

///Quickly I make my way back inside. I have to before I lose my composure and blurt out the words that lay on the tip of my tongue. I sit on my bed watching the clock, I feel wetness on my cheeks and I know that my tears are the source.

I’ve gotten so good at hiding my emotions that most people see me as cold. Just because tears may not run down my cheeks when in another’s presence doesn’t mean that I’m not crying. Those people... Can’t see the tears my heart sheds. You do though, you always have. That’s what makes my feelings for you so right... I have to tell you. I know it’s a risk but I can’t go on like this any longer. It’s now or never.///

(Touma)

///Well I’m back to where I started, sitting out here alone. Seems to be a habit with me. I’ trying to hold the tears back, but they slowly slip from eyes. Silently I cry, wishing on a star, hoping that someday I won’t be so lonely. I don’t have to be! I’ve got my best friend right inside that door.

You could be more if I would just open up and tell you how I feel. Sure I know there’s a risk involved, but isn’t that what life is all about? We all have to take some risks if we are to find total happiness. That’s it... No more hiding. It’s now or never.///

(Seiji)

///When I reach for the door I look up to see you standing on the other side. Your eyes are a mirror image of mine. Wet with tears and filled with love. Oh God I see it all so clearly now. It’s all for me! You do love me. No more do I have to fear what’s in my heart. No longer do those words seem so hard to say, not when the eyes looking back at me are all ready saying it.///

(Touma)

///As I go to open the door I find the most wonderful sight, standing before me. My best friend. I see that you too have been crying, which can only mean one thing? You love me. Is this possible? Oh it has to be! Your eyes practically scream it. In that one brief moment I realize that all my doubts and fears have vanished. There’s nothing stopping me now.///

(Touma, Seiji)

///Those three simple words are only a heartbeat away as we both open the door and step into each other‘s arms.///

///Three simple words... Eight letters long. The words flowed from our hearts to our lips right before they came together. Now as we lie in each other’s arms, basking in the afterglow of our love making, we realize just how simple those words truly are. I LOVE YOU, the sweetest, most simplistic words the world has ever known yet their strength is unmatchable.///

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Yeah I know this was pure sap through and through. What can I say? The Holidays just bring out the sappy person in me, plus with all the angst I’ve been writing with “Test of the Hearts” I needed something sweet to balance it out.

Anyway, please review if possible. I realize that you may have gone into sugar overload after this but your comments are much appreciated. This is my first real attempt at a song fic and I know that it’s not as good as some of the others out there but I gave it my best shot.

Oh, incase you are wondering? I am working on chapter 10 to “Test of the Hearts” but with the Holidays fast approaching it’s taking a little longer to complete. Please be patient and I’ll get it posted as soon as I can. I promise!