** I don’t own the Troopers, so don’t sue me, besides I’m broke due to the DJ‘s I keep buying ... WARNING!! This may contain any of the following: Adult themes/Yaoi/Graphic Sex/Strong Language/Violence/Non Consensual Sex. (Did I hit them all?) **

Test of the Hearts

By Wildefyre

 

 

Chapter Five

Seiji’s Secret

 

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Oh God Touma, I’m so sorry. I needed to feel as though I was back in control and look what I did! I lost control yet again and ended up hurting the one person who meant the world to me. Why? Why did I have to do that? Seiji blinked the tears away that were blurring his vision as he tried to keep his eyes and his mind on the road ahead of him.

Flashbacks of the horrendous act he caused against Touma haunted his mind and he could still hear the archer’s scream ringing through his soul. I only hope that someday you will understand why it happened and will find it in your heart to forgive me Touma. Oh God why couldn’t I control it? Why couldn’t I just walk away from it? Seiji ran his hand through his hair as he tried to make sense of it all, but that wasn’t to be. There is no sense in what I did! It was a deplorable act and forever will I bear the shame for what I have done.

Tears once again clouded his eyes, wiping them with the back of his hand he turned onto the highway. He was heading towards Sendai, to home. Then he finally realized just what he was doing. What am I thinking? I can’t go home! I’ve brought too much shame to my family. I have brought dishonor to the Date name. They have every right to ostracize me, for I have acted in an undignified manner. Mother, Father, Grandfather, Yayoi and Satsuki... Forgive me I am no longer worthy of your pride or your love.

Seiji pulled the car off to the side of the road, he needed to think and he needed to find a place to go to. Somewhere to end the shame he was feeling. Rubbing his temples to stem the pain from the headache that was throbbing there; he winced as it began to intensify. It was then he decided that there was only one place he could go; a place that was filled with happier memories of days long since forgotten. A place he had always felt as though he belonged and where he could finally find an end to his ache.

Pulling back onto the road he turned around and headed the other way. They’re out of town, which will buy me a few days at least; I won’t need any more then that.

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“Seiji, please come back. I forgive you.” Touma curled his body into a tighter ball; tears were streaming down over his cheeks as the pain of what had happened cursed through his mind and body. What happened Seiji? What made you hurt me like this? I only wanted to love you and be loved back. Why did you take so savagely something I would have given to you freely? Why? Love is not suppose to be like this... never like this... Why Seiji? Why did you make it hurt?

Touma winced, he hurt in every place imaginable and he knew he was still bleeding as well. I have to get up; I have to go look for him. Touma tried to link with Seiji but it was of no use... Seiji still had him blocked out and now he felt more alone then he had ever felt his entire life. He was cold and scared... hurt and confused but more then anything, he was worried about Seiji.

When he tried to sit up the pain shot through his abdomen like hot daggers piercing through him and a scream tore from his lips as he collapsed back onto the floor. Sobbing and clutching his stomach he tried to figure out what to do. I need to get help. I can’t do this alone. I have to stay alive so I can find Seiji and bring him back home. Oh God please give me the strength to reach out to someone. Touma closed his eyes and opened his mind, he concentrated with all his might and found Shin.

>> “Shin! Can you hear me?” <<

( “Touma? What’s wrong?” ) Shin could sense the urgency in Touma’s voice.

>> “Something has happened with Seiji. I need your help.” <<

( “Sure Touma, what happened?” ) He wanted to ask but could tell by Touma’s voice that the archer was struggling to communicate through the link.

>> “I’ll explain it all when you get here. Shin, you may want to leave Lors at home.” << Touma knew that Lorelei wouldn’t listen to Shin but he had to try. He didn’t want her upset; not in her current condition.

(“Touma, you know that as soon as she realizes that something is wrong with either you or Seiji she’s going to insist...”)

>> “I figured as much. She has to remain calm though. I couldn’t....” << Touma felt a dizzy spell hit and struggled to stay alert.

(“Touma? Touma!” ) Shin’s mental voice was frantic.

>> “Shin... Hurry... Losing blood... So dizzy...” << Touma cried out as he lost consciousness and the link between the two was cut off. Shin gasped when the link severed, he felt both physical and mental pain coming from Touma. “This isn’t good; this isn’t good at all.” He had to take a few moments to shake the sensations he was feeling.

Shin, who was quite worried now frantically jumped out of bed and began to get dressed without the use of lights in hopes that he wouldn’t wake Lorelei. Touma’s words bounced around in his head. He said something about ‘loss of blood’. Oh god please say that Seiji and Touma are okay.

Much to Shin’s dismay, Lorelei did indeed awaken and knew immediately by the look on her husband’s face when she switched on the lamp, that something terrible had happened. Shin did his best to explain while at the same time trying to keep her calm. Lorelei quickly dressed, bombarding Shin with questions and doing her best to remain calm so Shin would take her with. If there was something wrong with Seiji or Touma, she had to be there, she needed to help in any way she could.

Both raced to Touma and Seiji’s home, not sure about what they would find once they got there. Just in case, Shin had put a call in to Shu from his cell phone, who told him that he would meet the two there.

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Turning off the main road and onto a private one Seiji rubbed at his eyes. Almost there. God why didn’t I listen to them? Why didn’t I just tell Touma everything? My pride wouldn’t allow me to, that’s why. Seiji was exhausted and rational thoughts had long since left his mind to be replaced with a numbness that only felt the ache that was piercing his heart, tearing it to shreds little by little.

I don’t deserve this life; I’ve brought shame to it. I just hope that Touma can survive what I have done to him. Then it hit him, what if he had been hurt too badly, sure he was alive Seiji had sensed that much, but he had seen the blood and the bruises that marred his perfect skin all of which he had caused and that sent pain shooting through his soul. God I took him so roughly, I should have made sure he was okay! Selfish me couldn’t do that, I ran like the coward I truly am! Please just let him be okay... He doesn’t deserve any of it; this is my burden to bear and bear it I will... Alone.

Pulling off onto a long driveway Seiji could see the cabins up ahead, his final destination was staring right at him. I’ll always love you Touma but you need to forget about me. I’m no longer worthy of your love. I can’t ever expect love from you again, only hatred... That my koibito is what I deserve, your anger, your hatred and your revulsion at the monster that I have surely become. I accept the fact that never again will I feel the warmth of your soul as it touches me now all I can expect from you is the coldness you must feel towards me because of what I have done.

Pulling his car into the woods so it couldn’t be seen Seiji stopped and got out. He could hear the forest calling to him, To Seiji it sounded like she was crying and he dropped to his knees as his hands covered his face and he cried. “She’s crying, not for me, rather she cries due to the shame I have brought to her as well. I’ve dishonored her as well. I’m no longer fit to wear the Armor of Korin.”

Reaching into his pocket he withdrew his orb it glowed and pulsated in his palm. “All I can do now is give this back to you and ask that you find someone who is truly worthy of owning it.” With that Seiji threw the orb as hard as he could, watching it glow as it sailed through the trees. “Goodbye my friend. I only hope that the next one who dons the armor of Korin does so with honor and pride for never again will I feel those things.”

Getting up Seiji headed towards the cabins, stopping to look out over the lake, Seiji couldn’t help but remember all the good times he and the guys had had there. One memory flashed into his mind and made his heart ache that much more.

/// “Hey Shin! If you stay in that water too much longer, you’ll wind up looking like a prune.” Touma looked up from his book and laughed heartily as Shin stuck his tongue out at him.

“Touma! Come on in, you can always read that later!” Ryo shouted out to him as he dove off the pier and under the water, surfacing and shaking his ebony locks out and then diving back under the water’s surface.

“Nah I’m happy right here. Besides, I don’t see Seiji in and you’re not busting his butt. He’s over there someplace meditating so be a good Rekka no Ryo and go bug him!” Shaking his head and once again settling back against the tree to finish his book. Touma never saw the figure sneaking up on him until fingers tore the book from his hands. “Hey! I was...What the...”

“You look like you could use a cooling off Touma-chan.” It was Seiji’s voice and it sounded like he was up to no good, which in Seiji’s case was never a good thing because it always meant Touma was about to get it. The others stopped what they were doing to watch the two men on the bank, laughing when they realized what Seiji was about to do.

“Uh Seiji what are you planning to do?” Touma tried to get to his feet but Seiji scooped him up and began carrying him to the lake’s edge. “Seiji! You wouldn’t dare!” Touma yelled trying his best to break from of the hold the blond had on him. “SEIJI!” He squirmed and swatted at him to no avail, Seiji had a firm grip and wasn’t about to let go any time soon.

“Time for a swim koibito.” Planting a quick kiss on the archer’s lips, Seiji gave a heave, tossing Touma out over and into the water. “Hey Touma! You’re all wet!” Seiji was laughing hysterically at Touma who was fully clothed and now floating in the water.

“And you’ll be the same, very soon!” Touma smirked and laughed at the confused look on Seiji’s face.

“One good turn deserves another! Oh yeah... Tine to get wet Blondie!” The look on Seiji’s face was ever so priceless as Shu hoisted him up and threw him into the water to land right near Touma.

“Shuuuu!” Seiji yelled and sputtered and before he could do anything further Touma set himself up to pounce on him with Shin‘s help.

“This is for throwing me in! BONSAI!” Touma yelped and jumped onto Seiji who barely had enough time to hold his breath as both men went down under the water.

The five men had spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying the warm summer day and each other’s company. They were five friends with very special bonds that connected them in a way most people would never be able to understand. ///

“Those days are gone, just memories of better times.” Seiji allowed the tears to fall freely, after all there was no one there to see them. Walking up to the cabin his hand slid along the top of the doorframe until he found what he was looking for. Nasuti always kept the spare key there; Seiji and Touma even did that at their house. That thought alone sent a wave of pain through his heart and he cried out from the memory. Walking inside he stopped and grabbed his chest as more memories flooded in...

/// “So why did you drag me in here?” Touma looked around the interior then back to Seiji who quickly shut and locked the cabin door.

“Because we haven’t had much time together lately, and I was dying to do this...” Pulling the archer to him he didn’t waste another minute as their lips met. Seiji’s hands rubbed the archer’s back sending a shiver down Touma’s spine and a moan from his throat. Seiji’s touch always did that to him, it was like little bolts of electricity surging through him waking every nerve along the way.

Breaking the kiss Touma looked into the pale violet eyes he loved. “Mmmm, we should sneak off more often.” Touma’s hands slid down his lover’s sides to rest on trimmed hips. “I really like seeing this side of you Seiji, thanks for trusting me enough to show it to me.” He kissed and suckled on the blonde’s neck, smiling when he felt Seiji tremble ever so slightly.

“You bring out the best in me Touma, you make me laugh like no one else can and you make me feel things I never thought I could.” Seiji’s lips once again claimed Touma’s and a swipe of his tongue over his lover’s bottom lip allowed his tongue access as Touma’s lips parted. The need for air was the only thing that could break the kiss and Touma laid his head on Seiji’s shoulders.

“Seiji, why didn’t you tell me that you told your dad about us and he was not taking it very well.” Touma lifted his head to look into Seiji’s eyes.

“It’s no big deal Touma; I’ll handle this. I didn’t think telling you would matter.” Seiji walked over to the window. “I guess since we’re on the subject of secrets, you should know that I haven’t told my grandfather yet. I don‘t know when or if I will tell him.” Seiji didn’t want to admit that he still feared his grandfather, he was just too embarrassed.

“Seiji! It is a big deal, I thought we had something here...” Touma choked back the tears. Though he wasn’t one to cry, especially in front of people, when it came to Seiji emotions were at an all time high. He just felt so comfortable with Seiji that he allowed himself the freedom to be more open, and slowly Seiji was becoming the same way with him. Maybe that’s one reason they were so close, they could be open with each other and not worry about what the other thought.

“We do Touma. I love you and that’s what matters.” Seiji reached out for his hands.

“Then why the secrets? I don‘t mind that you haven‘t told your grandfather, nor do I care whether or not your family accepts me or even us, but I do care that you couldn‘t come to me and tell me all this.” Tears slipped from Touma’s eyes as he walked over to Seiji.

He placed his hands on either side of Seiji’s face and looked directly into his eyes. “Don’t you trust me Seiji? Secrets can destroy lives, they can ruin relationships, and they can break hearts... Nothing good can come from them... Trust me just as much as you love me, okay?”

“Oh God Touma, I am so sorry, I guess I still have trouble with this whole communication thing, being more open and all. Please be patient with me? There‘s still a lot I need to learn.” He began to kiss away the tears. He never meant to hurt Touma like this, this was his problem not Touma’s but now he began to see that he was wrong, he should have been honest with Touma. He knew Touma needed to feel like they were a real couple, which they were, and that meant being open with each other and being honest. “I hate myself knowing that I’m the cause of these tears... Please forgive me koibito. I love you Touma and I need for you to try and understand okay?”

“Fine, but on one condition.” Touma’s voice was stern.

“What? I‘d do anything for you Touma, you know that.” Seiji asked as he nuzzled his face into Touma‘s hair.

“No more secrets! We should be honest with each other, and if our love is real it should be able to withstand anything.” Touma slid his arms around the swordsman’s waist. It never failed to amaze him how well their bodies seemed to fit, like two pieces of a whole being. “Please Seiji, no more secrets. Your problems are my problems. If I’m good enough to share your bed with then I‘m good enough to share whatever is on your mind, in your heart or whatever troubles you. Together we are strong Seiji, strong enough to ride out any storm that comes our way.”

“You’re right Touma and I’m sorry. I promise no more secrets. My warrior of wisdom strikes again.” They sealed their pact with a fiery kiss and slowly lowered to the floor. Breaking the kiss Seiji looked into the eyes of his friend and lover. “I want you Touma... I need you... I want to make love to you right here, right now.” Touma didn’t use words to respond, instead he pushed his hips up and pulled Seiji’s down as he grinded his erection against the blond letting him know how badly he need the swordsman as well. ///

“Well I certainly blew that, didn’t I?” Seiji leaned against the wall. “I kept secrets from him; I broke my promise to him. Touma was right about everything, it does destroy lives, it does ruin the best of relationships and it really does break hearts... Oh God what am I going to do, I’ve ruined it all...”

Wrapping his arms across his chest, Seiji slid down the wall. “Nooo, Oh God... Nooo. I messed up so badly... I just want to die...” Seiji cried harder then he ever had, his heart was breaking and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it.

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“Touma? Touma where are you?” Shin stepped into the house slowly, listening for any noise and watching for the slightest of movements. “Lorelei, I want you to stay put while I check things out.” He instructed her. He was shaking slightly something wasn’t right and it was making the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. He could sense grief and pain in the house and he shivered suddenly.

“But...” She began to protest only to be cut off abruptly.

“NO BUTS! Stay put.” Shin turned to her, taking her face in his hands he kissed her. “I would never forgive myself if something happened to you or our baby. Please, for our child’s sake, stay here until I come back.” She nodded her head and stepped back; scared, something wasn’t right here and she was sure that either Seiji or Touma, or both, were hurt. She also knew that Shin sensed it as well, she could see it registered on his face and that scared her even more. Closing her eyes she said a silent prayer hoping that both of her friends were okay.

Shin began by searching the first floor, then the basement, finding nothing, he walked back into the foyer and motioned to Lorelei that he was going to check upstairs. Slowly he made his way through the rooms before he came to the master bedroom, pushing the door opened he could tell that there had been a struggle there.

Bedding was lying on the floor and the small table he had helped Touma put into the room was lying on its side. Shin knew that even though Touma was still a tad on the messy side, this room was always kept tidy, Seiji made sure of that. I’m getting a bad feeling about this... He thought. “Touma! Touma can you hear me?” He called out.

“Ooooo.” The moan was so low Shin almost didn’t hear it but it was coming from the master bathroom that he was certain of. Cautiously he moved to the doorway and pushed the door open all the way and then he saw it... The source of the moan.

“Oh my God! Touma!” Shin was shocked to see Touma lying naked on the floor, drops of blood marked a path across the white tiles, smudges also covered the back of Touma’s legs and his rear end. Rushing over to him, Shin kneeled down and drew the archer’s body close to his chest. “Touma can you hear me? Touma!” Shin’s heart was racing now he could see the source of the blood and it sickened him when he realized what must have happened. “Touma? I’m here, please tell me what happened.”

“Ha... Have to... find... Seiji. Have... to... tell... him... I love... him.” Touma tried to get up but collapsed right back into Shin’s lap. “I need to... I need to set things right.” He moaned softly.

“Shin? You in here? I heard you ye... OH MY GOD!” Lorelei stood at the bathroom door, she could only see part of Touma since Shin was shielding him. What got to her more was the blood that was splattered on the floor.

“Lorelei, hand me that robe and turn around for a minute.” Shin asked, thankful that he had his and Touma‘s back to her. She could see the fear in his eyes as she handed the robe to him and he met her gaze and she sobbed softly as she looked the other way.

“What happened here?” Lorelei asked, her heart was pounding and she felt sick from the smell of blood and vomit that permeated the room. This was what she had feared, someone was hurt and it tore her apart. “Shin, where’s Seiji? Is he somewhere in the house, hurt as well? Oh God!” She placed her hand over her mouth to stifle the sound of her cries and to keep herself from getting sick.

“I don’t know. You can turn around now.” Shin had stood up and was now trying to help Touma sit on the bench that was in the bathroom. Immediately Lorelei walked over and sat by Touma, tears were falling as she noticed the bruises on his cheek.

“I’ve got to draw a bath and clean him up; it’s the only way I can tell how bad his other injuries are.” He said as he sat on the edge of the tub beside her. One injury is quite obvious, that’s for sure. He thought.

“Shin, I’m scared. He looks like he‘s been hurt pretty badly.” Lorelei started to cry and Shin leaned over and laid his head against her arm, rubbing her thigh. “Who could have done such a thing? My God were they robbed? Should we call the police?” She was beginning to panic, something she wouldn’t normally do but being pregnant had her emotion running in different directions.

“Don’t cry... Lors. It’ll ... be... okay.” Touma opened his eyes and tried to smile. “Don’t cry... please?” He placed his head on her shoulder. “You can’t call the police, don’t ask me why just yet, but please no police.“ He whispered hoarsely. Just then Shu came racing into the room and when he saw Touma, the blood as well as Lorelei crying he went over and knelt in front of them.

“Touma, who did this to you? I’ll kill them!” Shu slapped the floor causing Touma to jump and whimper just a bit.

“Shu, stop that! You’re scaring him!” Lorelei scolded him and hugged Touma tighter, trying to calm the archer down.

“I’m sorry. Touma please... Who did this?” Shu spoke calmly.

“Shu? Let’s worry about that later. Help me to clean him up, Lorelei you’ll have to leave babe, we’ll check his wounds as well.” Lorelei nodded, informing them that she’d get some tea started in the meantime.

Shin and Shu finished cleaning up, Touma was now in fresh sweats and at least Shin was able to do enough with his limited abilities to stop the bleeding. He knew Touma should go to the hospital, but Touma wasn’t having any of that so they did what they could for him. They were going to put him to bed, but he insisted on going downstairs. “Stubborn as always Touma-san!” Shu had remarked.

Lorelei was walking into the living room with the tea when Shin and Shu brought Touma in. They could see the pain register on his face when Touma went to sit down. Shin and Shu couldn’t help but notice the damage done to him and they shivered to think just what had happened to him. This only confirmed Shin’s suspicions and since Seiji was not in the house, he felt sick with the realization of who may have very well been the culprit in this whole mess.

“Guys, I need to find Seiji. He must think I hate him.” His hands trembled as he sipped at the tea. Setting the cup down, he looked to the floor. “I have never seen him like that. Something had to have happened. It was as though he had snapped. He was a totally different person, so full of rage and hatred.” He winced. “It was as though he couldn’t control himself or anything he was doing.”

“Touma, what exactly did he do to you?” Shin walked over and knelt in front of him. He could see Touma’s eyes tear up and tried to comfort him. Even though he and Shu more or less knew what had happened, they needed to be sure, for their own piece of mind.

“I know he didn’t mean to hurt me... Seiji isn’t like that. Please don’t hate him for any of this.” Touma looked to his three friends, collecting his thoughts and taking a deep breath, he continued. “Seiji snapped... Next thing I knew he had me on the floor and... And he... He uhm... He forced himself on me.” Touma buried his face into his hands, too ashamed to look at them. His last words hung in the air as Shin and Shu heard the confession.

“What you mean is... he raped you!” Shu pounded his fist into the arm of the chair. How could this happen... Why did it happen? Seiji and Touma were a couple; Seiji had no reason to rape Touma. “I’ll get that stuffy blond bastard for sure. How dare he hurt my friend like this!” Shu was beyond angry, he was enraged!

“No Shu! Please don’t hurt him! Please?” Touma looked up at him, his eyes pleading with Shu.

“And why not? Tell me one good reason why I shouldn’t shove that sword of his up his ass!” Shu wanted more then anything to cry, but right now the anger was taking precedence over everything else. “What the hell I’ll shove your bow up his ass as well! That dirty rotten bastard!” His face burned red with his anger. Shu got up and walked to the fireplace, his fists clenching and the urge to hit something grew strong. “I’ll hunt him down... I swear to God I’ll hunt that blond asshole down.”

“NO! Shu please! You can’t hurt him because I love him... and... I forgive him for what he‘s done. I love him with all my heart and soul Shu and if you hurt him then you hurt me as well.” Touma’s voice sounded so small, they could tell his heart was breaking. “I love him... He didn‘t mean to do this... I‘m sure of that.”

“Awe jeez Touma! How can you say that after what he’s done to you?” Shu was now kneeling in front of the archer as well. He was trying his best to understand Touma’s reasoning and maybe had Seiji only hit Touma he could have, but Seiji had done far worse and for that Shu couldn’t see a clear enough reason to forgive. No this was a vile and disgusting act and no one deserved to have this done to them.

“I love him Shu that’s the best reason I can give to you. I know that‘s hard to understand, but you have to trust me on this... Please?” Touma reached out and hugged him, then turned to Shin. “I want to go up to Sendai.”

“What?” Shin looked at him, he was just a bit stunned, and then he realized why. “Do you think Seiji is headed there?”

“I really don’t know, but it’s the most likely choice he’d make.” Touma was going whether Shin or Shu went with him or not. He hoped that they would come along since he wasn’t sure about driving in the condition he was nor how he’d react to seeing Seiji is he indeed was there.

“Why don’t we just call there, it would be a lot faster?” Shin questioned him.

“No I don’t want them to try and cover anything up or claim Seiji isn‘t there when he really is. I get this feeling that they know more then they are saying. There has to be a reason for the way Seiji snapped and if you think about it Seiji has been on an emotional roller coaster since he woke up in the hospital.” Touma looked at them. “Sure some of it is a natural reaction to what had happened but I think, no I’m sure of it now, that there’s more to this then meets the eye.” Touma sighed, his head was pounding and he ached all over. “I want to confront them face to face. Please take me there, okay?”

“If that’s what you want Touma, I’ll take you.” Shu got up and sat next to him. “Can I ask a favor though?” Feeling slightly guilty over what he was about to ask.

“Sure buddy, what is it?” Touma looked at him, hoping he wasn’t going to hurl threats against Seiji again.

“I really could use something to eat... Man I am starving!” Shu rubbed his stomach. Shin, Touma and Lorelei couldn’t help but laugh. “What? Can I help it if all this tension makes me hungry?” He looked at them.

“Everything makes you hungry bud! Looks like some things never change.” Touma laughed slightly and put his arms around both Shin and Shu and then looked over at Lorelei. “Come over here mommy-to-be and join us.” He beckoned her and Lorelei sat on Shin’s lap as the three wound up in a group hug.

Shin and Lorelei made a little something to eat for everyone and soon shin; Shu and Touma were in Touma’s jeep ready to go.

“Call me when you get there, okay?” Lorelei said sadly as she looked at the three.

“We will, I promise.” Shin smiled, Shu and Touma turned their heads to give the two some privacy. “You take care of yourself and don’t overdo it.” Shin reached through the opened car window to kiss his wife. “I love you, very much... You’re my life Lorelei.” He smiled and stroked her cheek, wiping at the tears that fell.

Take it easy Touma, okay?” Lorelei told and then reached out for hand that he leaned over Shin to extend to her. “Since you refused to go to the hospital, please be careful of those injuries, don’t do anything that will cause more harm. I plan to have a LONG talk with Blondie when you do find him and then I’m kicking his butt.” She winked at him to let him know she wouldn’t hurt his koibito.

“I will Lors. I will also get Seiji back. I have to...” He went silent, the emptiness in his heart left him feeling so alone and detached from things around him. He needed to know why Seiji had gone off in a blind rage, why he had attacked him and why he ran off and left him there alone. Answers were all he sought now and answers he would get even if it were the last thing he ever did.

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// “No Seiji! Don’t do this! Not like this! NOOOOO!” // Seiji bolted straight up, soaked in sweat and his breathing came in rapid pants as he looked around the darkened cabin. He began to tremble as the dark images flooded his mind. The image of him raping the man he supposedly loved played over and over in his mind. He could still feel the sensation of Touma’s flesh tearing as he took him so violently. He could still see the look of fear that clouded over Touma’s dark blue eyes as they pleaded for him to stop.

The worst part was the scream... Never had he heard anything so terrifying as that scream and forever would that sound remain with him. Slowly he got to his feet still trying to rid his mind of all that he saw, heard and felt. His head throbbed and he felt sick to his stomach as he tried to walk on shaky legs.

“I know what I must do now. As long as I’m alive the nightmares will continue to haunt me.” Walking over to the kitchen area Seiji grabbed a knife from the drawer. Testing it on his arm he ran the cold blade over his light colored flesh to find it wouldn’t disappoint him as the knife sliced into his skin and the blood oozed from the now opened wound. “This will do, it has to.” He said as he watched the dark red liquid flow down his arm to drip onto the counter and floor. “Forgive me Touma. I know it’s the coward’s way out but I have to end my pain. It hurts too much to go on and I know that my death will keep me from bringing any more shame to you, my friends and my family.”

Jotting down a quick note to his family, the guys and a short letter to Touma, he picked up the knife again and headed back out of the cabin. He walked out and into his forest and for all intent and purposes, his final resting-place. “I have come to you to lay down my life, please accept this sacrifice and allow me to find some peace.” He cried as he brought the knife up and held it above his head. “Touma I will always love you.”

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“Touma! Touma wake up! We’re here.” Shin was reaching over the front seat shaking the blue haired archer.

“Lemme sleep jus five mur mints. S’kay?” He smacked his lips together and repositioned himself. Shin couldn’t help but chuckle at this. “Just like old times my friend.” Shin parked in front of the Date family Dojo with their primary residence seated right behind that.

“Hey Touma, let’s go buddy.” Shu shook Touma and had to duck a swat directed at him. “Touma, this may have been fun a few years ago, but now’s not the time.” Shu gave him a few light pats to his arm.

“Wh... Where are we?” Touma opened his eyes and looked around. He could feel every ache and stiff muscle in his body and he winced as the pain shot through him. “Oh God.” He whimpered slightly.

“Take it easy, we’re right in front of the Dojo.” Shin was now standing outside the car to help Shu get Touma out of it. “We’ll help you, just move slowly.”

“He’s not here.” Touma said matter-of-factly as he stepped out of the car. He felt a lump rise in his throat, he had hoped that Seiji would have come here, but that wasn’t to be.

“Touma, how do you know?” Shu asked though he knew the truth as well.

“I can’t sense him that’s why.” Touma stood up straight and began to walk toward the house. “I’m still going to get some answers. I need to know guys... I have to find out why...” He stopped to catch his breath since walking was quite painful.

“Are you going to be okay Touma?” Shin asked when he saw Touma wincing. “I can try and see what I can do to lessen the pain if you’d like.”

“I’ll be okay Shin, thanks anyway.” Touma said as they rang the doorbell and waited.

It was Seiji’s mom who answered the door and upon seeing Touma her face registered shock at his appearance. “Oh my God Touma! What happened?” She reached out to touch one of the bruises on his cheek and watched as he flinched and then winced from the pain.

“May we come in? We need to talk?” Touma asked as he stood up straight and met her gaze.

“Yes, please enter.” She said and stood aside. Seiji’s younger sister was standing there as well. “Satsuki, go get your father and hurry just don’t say anything to your grandfather.” She instructed her youngest child fearful that he would find out about Seiji and from the looks of Touma that was the last thing he needed.

Shu, Shin and Touma walked in, removed their shoes, put on the house slippers and then followed Mrs. Date into the living room. Mrs. Date excused herself to go get some tea and the 3 sat down around the table. Touma was happy to get a pillow that was quite soft since sitting was a major challenge.

“Thank you.” The three told her, accepting the tea she gave to them. Mr. Date walked in and when he saw Touma he knew something bad has happened. Shin, Shu and Touma greeted Mr. Date and the five adults sat down.

“I wish I didn’t have to come here and tell you this but I couldn’t see any other options.” Touma started out, breaking the uneasy silence that had surrounded them and his hands began to shake. “Seiji freaked out and took off last night. Something happened with him and he just went wild on me. I was hoping that he might have come here.”

“Gomen, he’s not here. What happened Touma? Please tells us?” Mr. Date looked at him. “Why did he leave?” He didn’t like the sound of this at all... Something really bad happened between his son and Touma, he was sure of that and the bruises on Touma’s face told him as much.

“I’m not sure, but something inside of Seiji snapped! I have never seen him like that; he was a totally different person.” Touma felt the tears welling up in his eyes and took a few minutes to collect himself. The memories were just too fresh and when he closed his eyes he could still see the dark and distant look Seiji’s eyes had held.

“What do you mean? What’s happened to my son? I want answers Touma-san!” Mrs. Date voice had all four men cringing just a bit. She was a very strong and powerful woman and when she got angry you didn’t want to be in her path.

“Like I said, I’m not sure but that’s what I intend to find out.” Touma looked her right in the eye and then turned to her husband. “What exactly was the purpose of your visit yesterday? After you left Seiji stayed locked away in his room all day and then last night... He... He uhm... He just wasn‘t himself.” He couldn’t say it, not at that moment anyway. Anger was starting to show on Touma’s face and Mr. Date tried to calm him down.

“Touma it was official police business. Seiji didn’t tell you anything did he?” He was puzzled himself now. Seiji was acting a little more emotional then what he was use to, but he just figured it was due to seeing those pictures. He thought that Seiji would have at least told Touma that four of the men had been found, it didn’t make sense. Why did you hide that from him Seiji? He wondered.

“He told me nothing! Listen I get the feeling you know more then you’re letting on and I think it’s high time we cut the crap and start telling the truth.” Touma raised his voiced just enough to get their attention and to let him know that he was serious.

“All right, calm down Touma, I’ll fill you in. I had some photos I needed Seiji to look at. He positively identified them as four of the men who beat and r... who beat and left him for dead.” Mr. Date swallowed hard, he had almost slipped and told Touma that Seiji had been raped. He almost wished he had, then he could finally lift the weight off his shoulders, but he made a promise to his son and he intended to keep it.

“You mean you arrested four of the men?” It was Shin who spoke up now. “Seiji or you should have said something to Touma about this. He does have a stake in all of this as well you know.”

“That’s just it, the four men turned up dead. Two of them were found in the same area that Seiji was found in, the other two in a vacant warehouse. I don’t know why Seiji never said anything, and I couldn’t say anything.” Mr. Date explained.

“And why not?” Shu who had been doing his best not to go ballistic on Seiji’s parents, finally had to put his two cents in. “Seems to me that you should have felt Touma had a right to know.”

“Seiji asked that I not say anything, my hands were tied. It was official business as well and he had every right to ask me not to say anything. I assumed it was because he didn‘t want you to worry or that maybe he wanted to tell you himself.” He looked at Touma and felt a little guilty at giving him only half the story. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know what else to do.”

“I don’t get it, if anything Seiji should have been slightly relieved to know that four of his assailants were no longer a threat, and since they’re dead he wouldn’t have to face them in a court. What set him off?” Touma had a feeling there was still more to this whole thing and so he pressed forward. “How was Seiji during all this? How did he react? How was he when you left? Why did you just say he might have been trying to keep me from worrying? I want answers!”

“Seiji got sick when he saw the pictures, I guess that embarrassed him. He was very upset Touma, he feels he has dishonored us and has brought shame to himself and his family.” Mr. Date felt his heart sinking as he recalled the look his son had given him. “Damn I knew he should have just told you everything right from the beginning but he was too ashamed and humiliated by what had happened.” Mr. Date put his hands over his face.

“Wh... What? Why on earth would he feel that way? WHY?” Touma was determined to get all the secrets out. He was a little shocked that Seiji would have kept anything from him, after all they had promised to be honest with each other. “I’ve seen Seiji get sick many times and he knows he never has to feel embarrassed around me. Why does he think he dishonored you? WHY?”

“It’s because of what happened to him.” Mrs. Date cut in. Up until now, she had allowed her husband to handle this, but she knew Touma had every right to know just what had happened. She decided that she herself would deal with her son’s anger when he found out that she had betrayed him and told his friends everything.

“Because of what... I don’t get it, why would this have made Seiji do what he did? No, I can’t accept that, a beating, as violent as it were, should not have had him acting the way he did. Seiji may have a bad temper at times but he virtually went ballistic! There was no reason for him to r....” He couldn’t finish. Tears began to stream down Touma’s cheeks; the emotions he had been trying desperately to hold inside now came rushing out.

Seiji’s mother got up, walked over and sat next to him. She put a hand on his shoulder and lightly rubbed it. “Come now Touma, we’ll find Seiji. I’m sure he just needed some time to himself to sort through everything.”

“I want to know what you meant by, ‘Seiji should have told me everything’ and no more beating around the bush. I want the truth and I want it now!” Touma looked to Mr. Date for answers.

“I’m sorry Touma, but I can’t. I made a promise to my son and I have an obligation to honor that.” He told Touma then looked away. “If you are going to discover those secrets, they’ll have to come from Seiji’s lips, not mine. Please try and understand, I can‘t tell you and that‘s all there is to it.”

“You don’t get it do you? Seiji took off last night in a blind rage. I don’t know what the hell is going on inside his head. All I do know is something is wrong and because of it Seiji went nuts and I was on the receiving end of his anger and torment! What the HELL happened? What is so terrible that you can‘t trust me enough to tell me?” Touma was seething now, his body ached and he could feel his head pounding yet that didn‘t stop the tears from flowing.

What bothered him the most was that he was here arguing with these people when he could be out looking for Seiji. “Please help me to understand... I’m scared that Seiji may do something drastic. Do you really want that? Well?” Touma’s big blue eyes pleaded with them, his tears streaked his cheeks and he trembled slightly.

“Please, if you know something, anything that may help us figure out what happened in Seiji’s mind, please tell us. We want to help Seiji but we can‘t do that if we don‘t know what it is we‘re dealing with.” Shin pleaded with them.

“All right, I will shoulder my son’s wrath; you boys have a right to know.” Mrs. Date stated. She saw her husband about to protest and hushed him by placing her hand in the air. Taking both of Touma’s hands in hers she waited until their eyes locked. “Touma, this isn’t easy to say and I know that if my son could have found a way, he would have told you. I feel that his humiliation was just too great for him to speak these words to you.“ She began. “Seiji wasn’t just beaten that night, something else happened, something much worse. Seiji was afraid to let anyone know about this.” She swallowed hard.

“What? Please I need to know.” Touma sniffled. He looked so sad and broken as he pleaded for an answer. Mrs. Date’s heart went out to him immediately. Touma was trembling he knew that whatever she had to say would not be good and that thought scared him.

“Touma, this won’t be easy for you to hear, and I’m sorry but it’s about time that Seiji’s secret comes out.” She took in a deep breath of air and then slowly let it out before continuing. “Touma... Seiji was (She was breaking down), those five men they uhm (Tears slid down her cheeks), they had...” She wasn’t sure she could do this as her whole body began to shake and her heart cried out in pain.

Touma has a right to know. She told herself and quickly composed herself as much as she could. “They... those five men raped Seiji.” She was shaking harder and the tears came flowed unchecked. “It was an extremely violent rape and his injuries were more extensive then you were told about.” No longer was she able to keep her composure so she bent over into her hands and cried. “Gomen Touma... Gomen...” She sobbed into her palms as her husband came over to her to try and comfort her.

Touma, Shin and Shu could only sit there in stunned silence; their voices were gone and their minds were numbed by what they had just heard. Touma’s tears fell in silent streams as his mind took a few minutes to process the information and when it finally sunk in he too lost control and began crying.

“Oh God no! Seiji! I’m so sorry!” He whispered. “Now I know why you did this to me... oh GOD! OH GOD! NO! OH GOD!” His whole body shook as it was wracked with sob after sob. It was just too much. His Seiji... Those men did that to His Seiji! “Why didn’t you tell me Seiji? You didn’t have to shoulder that all by yourself... You should have told me.” He drew his knees up to his chest, and rocked back and forth. “No this can’t be happening... NO! They had no right to hurt my Seiji like that... No FUCKING RIGHT! MY GOD SEIJI!” Touma was completely over come with grief as the archer cried harder then either Shin or Shu had ever heard.

“Touma, we’re so sorry. We wish we could have told you. It’s just that Seiji had specifically stated that only his family was to know about it.” Mr. Date told him. “As his family we felt obligated to honor those wishes.” He was trying to comfort his wife as best as he could. Finally, after all these weeks she was allowing herself to express the emotions she had so carefully hid from her family.

Mrs. Date had cried once at the hospital but after that she had put the wall back up. Seiji is so much like her; he probably did the same with Touma. He kept all his emotions behind that wall until he could no longer hold the wall back. Once the wall crumbled and fell he was left to deal with all those raw emotions... They must have been just too much for him. Mr. Date thought as he held onto his wife.

Touma looked up at him, his words finally reaching his brain. “NOW wait a minute! What the HELL AM I? HUH? Damn it! I’ve spent close to 8 years with Seiji! I love him... I love him more then life itself. He’s my friend, my companion and my lover and now you’re telling me that even with all that Seiji has NEVER considered me family!”

Touma was standing now, he felt as though someone had just punched him in the stomach. “I once told Seiji how I felt about secrets... I really thought he understood... I thought he understood!” Touma’s tears blurred his vision and he swiped at them with his fingers. “OH GOD!”

“Touma, please try and understand... It was Seiji‘s choice, I only agreed to it after he promised me that he would get help to deal with the rape.” Mrs. date was explained between choked sobs.

“Understand? UNDERSTAND? It’s obvious he wasn’t going for any therapy. OH GOD! If I had been told I could have helped him!” Touma was crying harder as he paced back and forth. To know Seiji had deceived him was one thing but to know Seiji may not have ever considered him family was more then the archer could handle.

“Does that mean he never meant to spend the rest of his life with me as he had asked? I can’t believe this! He asks me to marry him yet I’m not family enough to be told this?” Touma’s mind was trying to take all of this in but it was difficult.

“Touma you need to calm down. You know that I could only do a partial healing, and you may have other internal injuries.” Shin walked over to try and calm him only to have Touma shove him out of the way. “Touma?” Shin felt too numb to defend himself or even fight too hard to calm Touma, all this was sensory overload for them all. His mind barely registered the fact that Touma just announced that Seiji had asked Touma to marry him.

Turning back to Seiji’s parents Touma stared at them, midnight blue eyes grew darker. “Do you want to know what your little FAMILY ONLY secret caused? DO YOU?” He got closer. “ONE; It caused Seiji to shoulder all that horror and shame by himself. TWO; it caused him to eventually exploded. THREE; it caused him to turn on me and in order for him to regain some of that control he lost... FOUR; it caused him to... RAPE ME!” Touma’s face with seething with anger. “HE RAPED ME DAMMIT!”

Touma watched as Seiji’s mother and father looked at him in shock. “You of all people should know how Seiji needs to feel that he is in control of his life and his emotions. God knows you’ve been shoving that down his throat all of his life. Force feeding him this bullshit about being honorable and how big boys don’t cry. To cry and to show emotions is a sign of weakness! Telling him to hide his emotions.” He shouted at them now. “Well I got raped so he could have all of that back again. HE RAPED ME SO HE COULD BE IN CONTROL ONCE AGAIN! Are you happy now?” Touma was beyond hurt now; his anger was at a point where he could possibly hurt someone.

“ENOUGH!” Came a voice from the doorway that caused everyone to freeze in his or her places.

“Father!” Mrs. Date stood to face her father.

“Sensei Date!!!” The other’s stood and bowed.

“Hashiba-san I want you to explain to me just what is going on here and then I want you to get out of my home and never come back here again.” He walked over and stood in front of Touma, staring the younger man down.

“Father, please... Touma is Seiji’s friend.” Mrs. Date looked at both, unsure about what to do. She knew her father well enough to know when he did not want anyone to cut in while he was speaking.

“Stay out of this. This is now between Hashiba-san and I.” He waved her off. “I want all of you to sit down and be quiet... You, stay put.” He told Touma. “This is no friend of Seiji’s. This BOY is nothing more then a weak crybaby.” He stared right into Touma’s eyes.

“Sensei Date, I apologize for raising my voice, but right now all I care about is finding Seiji and helping him get through all of this. Call me whatever you like but that won‘t change a thing. I am Seiji‘s friend and more!” He knew that once Seiji found out that his grandfather knew about the two of them he wouldn’t be pleased.

Seiji would be even more angry about how his grandfather found out, but what’s done is done and Touma really didn’t care at the moment. They were wasting valuable time on petty arguments that were getting them no where.

“Listen young man you have some nerve coming in here to our home no less and accusing my grandson of raping you. Then you have the nerve to turn around and tell us that the two of you have been LOVERS for a number of years and that he has asked you to marry him?” He glared at Touma. “Is this correct? Have I heard right?”

“Sensei Date, I’m sorry, I know this must be quite a shock to you and I’m sorry you had to find out in this way, but you should know the truth. Yes, Seiji and I are lovers; we’ve been a couple for almost 8 years. I want you to know that what Seiji and I have goes beyond anything physical, we love each other very much.” Touma refused to back down; he had to go toe to toe with him or else Seiji’s grandfather would gain the upper hand.

“How dare you!” His hand came down across Touma’s cheek leaving a red welt mark in the shape of his hand, but still Touma remained firm and didn‘t so much as flinch. Shin and Shu stood to come to Touma’s aid, only to be stared down by the elder Date. “SIT DOWN BOTH OF YOU or you get the same!”

“Do as he says guys, I’m okay. I can handle this on my own.” Touma told them. “Don’t even think of hitting my friends, beat the crap out of me but you will NOT lay a hand on my friends!” Touma sneered at him.

“You think that just because you claim that you love my grandson that it makes it right? You‘re the reason my grandson has turned his back on his family, his duty, his responsibilities and his obligation to take a wife and bear an heir. You’re the reason he shunned family tradition to go off and be a Doctor! So YOU must be the reason he’s engaged in this sick relationship.” He was getting quite angry now.

“Love has a lot to do with it! As far as it being sick, well that’s the opinions of narrow-minded people, such as yourself, obviously. Sick is not how Seiji and I see what we have. It was LOVE that brought Seiji and I together, it was LOVE that got the two of us through many ups and downs, it is LOVE that has kept us together and it’s LOVE that will allow me to forgive Seiji for what he did to me.” Touma’s face flushed red with rage.

Touma could feel the anger building inside of him now. “Yes you could say Seiji raped me, he snapped... he was trying to keep way too much bottled up... he exploded. It’s because of your damn secrets that this happened. So deal with it okay! You‘re the reason Seiji did what he did, you and your damn ways of dealing with things!” Touma was practically in his face and Shu got up to keep a fight from breaking out.

“I didn’t tell you to get up! SIT DOWN!” Sensei Date instructed him and Shu waited till Touma nodded his head before backing off.

“You want to talk about secrets...! What about the one you and my grandson have been keeping huh? That the two of you are lovers? That you engage acts that are sick! What about that? Answer me! What about that one?” He struck Touma again, this time Touma flew back and onto the ground. He couldn’t stop himself from crying out; the pain in his rear end was just too much. “You sick Bastard!” Rarely if ever did Sensei Date swear and the few times he did, everyone near him scattered.

Falling to the floor and feeling the intense pain cause Touma to remember the day they had brought Seiji home and Shu dropping him hard onto the sofa...Oh my God Seiji, this is what you went through... I’m so sorry, so very sorry. Touma could feel the tears sliding down his cheeks. Slowly getting to his feet he turned to look at Seiji’s grandfather. “I’m sorry that you weren’t told about us, but Seiji already felt bad about going against tradition to become a Doctor, he knew how much you disapproved of it. I wanted him to tell you. I don’t like keeping secrets and Seiji was well aware of that!”

“He knew you wanted him to forgo school and take over the Dojo, and he had to deal with the fact that he wasn’t fulfilling his duty by taking a wife and producing an heir.” Touma didn’t even try to wipe away the tears; he just allowed them to fall now. “All I can say is Seiji and I fell in love, we didn’t plan to... it just happened. I will say that we did our best to deny our feelings, and we spent a lot of time agonizing over it all. We even split up several times over his fear of disappointing his family.” Touma couldn’t help it he was hurting, his body, his heart and his soul were all crying.

“Seiji has dishonored this family by not being truthful with us... I have the right to disown him!” The elder Date spoke; he crossed his arms and stared straight through Touma.

“Have you even bothered to tune into your grandson? Have you? Have you ever tried to understand him? Do you even know what a warm, kind and caring person he truly is?” Touma couldn’t help himself, his voice cracked, Seiji would be devastated if his family disowned him. It was one of Seiji’s greatest fears, the very reason he hadn’t told his grandfather about the two of them. “Seiji is a damn good Doctor... I’m proud of him and what he has accomplished. Can you say the same?”

“I was there for him while he went through med school... I was there on those nights when he would come home from the Dojo after having spent the whole day in classes, and then face the fact that he had a load of studying to do only to have exhaustion cause him to collapse. That was the reason we only stayed in Sendai for one year.” Touma paused to collect himself.

“Where were you on the day he graduated? WELL? You couldn’t even take the time to show up, all because you didn’t want him becoming a Doctor in the first place. Did you know that he cried himself to sleep that night because of that? Well I knew! That’s because I was there for him. I’m the one who held him... I’m the one who held onto him for dear life as his body shook and tears soaked his face. I’m the one who kept telling him how much I loved him and how I would always be there to support him.” Touma’s body began to tremble, he could feel pain shooting through his abdomen and he had to take a few quick breaths to keep himself from passing out.

“I’m the one who told him how I would always be proud of him no matter what he did in his life. Something none of you had the balls to do!” He stared each of them down. Touma’s composure finally gave out and he collapsed to his knees. “I believed in him because I love him! CAN ANY OF YOU SAY THAT? I’m the one who loved him enough to be raped by him so he could get a part of himself back.” Touma doubled over as he cried his voice was hoarse and he could feel himself starting to bleed again.

“Touma!” Shin yelled and was about to go to him but Touma waved him off.

“There were other nights when he cried because he knew he was disappointing you. His family means a lot to him whether you want to believe that or not. Seiji knows that I love him enough to give him up should he ever decide he needs to honor his family and tradition. I’m willing to do that even if it does break my heart to pieces. THAT Sir is what LOVE really is!” Touma sat back on his feet, placed his hands over his face and cried harder then he ever had in his entire life. He was exhausted and in pain, but nothing he felt could match the pain that was shooting through his heart at that very moment.

“I’m telling you this right now Hashiba-san, we are going to find my grandson and he is indeed going to honor his family and the commitment he has to the Dojo and to us. In light of all of this Seiji-san has got to prove his worthiness to me and to this family. Unless Seiji-san complies I will disown him and I don’t think you want that Hashiba-san, so it’s best that you let go now! Time for you to prove what you just said. It‘s time to give him up!” With that the elder Date turned his back on them all.

Touma remained on the floor; it felt as though someone had knocked the breath out of him. He knew that if Seiji was given those options he would feel compelled to honor his family, it was too much to deal with right now and Touma’s mind began to shut down.

“Listen I can’t sit here any longer and not say anything...” Shin finally stood up. “We seemed to be forgetting that Seiji is out there somewhere and he’s not exactly thinking with a clear mind. He’s probably distraught over what he did to Touma, who knows what he may do to himself.” Shin was trying his best not to cry.

The things Touma talked about had really gotten to him, none of them fully knew just what Seiji and Touma had gone through to be together. He was finally starting to see just how strong a love the two men had for each other, those obstacles would have brought most to their knees, but through it all Seiji and Touma had remained true to their hearts.

“Shin’s right, we need to find Seiji. He’s the number one priority right now.” Shu echoed as he helped Touma to his feet. “We need to figure out where he may have gone.”

“We’ll handle finding my grandson, I think it’s best that all of you go home and leave us to take care of our own.” Seiji’s grandfather gave them one last look before walking out. “I don’t want to see you here ever again Hashiba-san, leave my grandson alone! Stay out of his life from this day on!”

Touma stood there dumb founded, his heart was being crushed little by little, he knew he needed to find Seiji and explain it all before his family did. He gave Seiji’s parents one last look. “I’m... Please... Seiji...” He couldn’t think straight. His mind was numbed by everything that had transpired.

“Give him time Touma, he may come around yet, this has been quite a shock to him.” Mrs. date walked over and hugged him. “I really am sorry Touma for not saying anything to you about what had happened. Touma, you will always be a part of this family regardless of what my father says.”

“Just in case I don’t get to see Seiji... Please tell... Please tell him that I love him and that I will always keep him in my heart.” Touma hung his head down and walked out, his tears stung his eyes and blurred his vision. He feared that this could very well spell the end of his relationship with Seiji and he wasn’t so sure he could be strong enough to handle it. Where are you Seiji?

The drive back was mainly spent in silence; Touma kept his head turned to the window not really seeing any of the scenery as they passed by it. His thoughts were on Seiji, he missed him, and now armed with the knowledge of what really happened to him, all Touma wanted to do was comfort his sunlit swordsman.

Seiji has been a part of his life for so long and now it looked as though half of his soul was about to die. That’s how it was with them, he and Seiji had formed such a tight bond that half of Touma’s very being was for Seiji. Seiji occupied his heart, his soul, his mind and his thoughts; that’s what made him a whole person. Without the swordsman he was nothing more then a shell; empty, dark and lonely.

“Touma, we’ll find him don’t worry. I’m sure that once everything has settled down this will all work out. I‘m sure that Seiji will see just how much he loves you and will opt to stay with you.” Shin said. He could sense Touma’s profound sadness and it was hurting him just as much.

Touma rested his cheek against the car window, the pain in his body was intense, and he felt every bump and pothole the car hit as it sped on down the freeway. Even though Seiji had cut off the link Touma still found himself concentrating in hopes of reaching the man he loved.

Oh god Seiji, how did you manage? How did you hold all that pain inside of you? The physical and the mental. Is that why you closed off our link? Please, wherever you are right now, don’t hate yourself for what has happen koibito. I love you and want to help you, please let me do that? My heart is breaking Seiji, and only you can put it back together. I will try and understand though, should you tell me we have reached the end. I just need to see you even if it’s for the last time...

Tears began streaming down the archer’s cheeks as he silently cried. He felt a hand lightly touch his and looked over at Shin. “Even if he has closed the link, I’m sure he senses your pain. You two have a bond that’s too strong to be broken so easily, he has to know that your heart is crying out for him.”

“I miss him so much... What if I have lost him for good? I don’t know if I can take that... I need him Shin... I need him in my life, even if it’s only as a friend.” Touma pressed the heel of his hands into his eyes trying to stem the flow of tears but it wasn’t doing any good. “Please Seiji... Don’t leave me all alone...”

“You’ll never be alone again Touma. Shu, Ryo and I promised you that in the hospital and we meant it. Lorelei, Nasuti, and Ming are here for you as well.” Shin choked back his own tears. This was his friend and he couldn’t stand seeing the pain that was now filling his midnight blue eyes.

********************************************************************************

“What happened? Was Seiji there? Touma are you okay?” Lorelei was a torrent of questions as the three walked into the house. She had decided to stay at Touma and Seiji’s house just in case Seiji called or came back and now she found herself holding back tears that threatened to spill out.

The look in Touma’s eyes was so vacant, more so then that night at the hospital. “Shin?” She looked at her husband and was shocked to see the sorrow written on his face as well. He looked so much older then his 29 years right now, the fatigue and heartache of seeing his friends going through so much turmoil was taking its toll. “You’re scaring me... My God what happened up there? I can feel so much anguish and pain coming from all three of you.

“I’ll explain it all in a few; I just want to make sure Touma’s okay.” Shin pulled his wife into his arms. “I love you Lorelei... Promise me you and I will always be honest with each other? No secrets, okay?” His sea-green eyes filled with the tears he had been holding back since they had left Sendai.

“Yes... I promise. I love you too.” She kissed his tears as they slid down his cheeks. Her heart was in her throat now, whatever had happened in Sendai wasn’t good and that frightened her.

Walking into the living room they found Touma sitting at the window, he was clutching a sweatshirt that belonged to Seiji, holding it close to his chest as tears streaked over his cheeks and he softly cried.

“I bought this for him right after he graduated from med school. It was his favorite thing to wear when he was just kicking back.” Touma held the item out for them to see. On the front was a medical symbol and under that it said... DOCTORS HAVE LOTS OF PATIENCE (patients), Seiji’s name in Kanji was embroidered on the top left side with his armor symbol right under that.

“What am I going to do?” He looked to them with eyes that held more sadness then any of them had ever seen.

“You’re going to be strong Touma, and with the help of your friends we will find Seiji. You have to have faith.” Shu said, his own eyes glassed over with moisture. “If Seiji truly loves you, he’ll come back.” Walking over to Touma he wrapped his arms around the slender archer. “He has to... He has to.”

Touma buried his head into Shu’s chest and sobbed. His fingers tightly held on to the sweatshirt and he placed it against his cheek in much the same way a small child would with a favorite blanket.

No one spoke, the only sounds from the room were Touma’s sobs and the clock on the mantle that ticked away the seconds. Shin and Lorelei slowly walked over to Shu and Touma and three hearts reached out to do what they could to keep a fourth from shattering.

Later, after Shin and Shu had managed to convince Touma to get some rest before coming up with a plan to find Seiji, the three others sat in the kitchen as Shin filled Lorelei in on what had occurred in Sendai.

“Oh my God! Not Seiji! NO! Oh God Shin... Why? Why would someone hurt him like that?” Lorelei was numb from the revelation concerning Seiji and the rape. Holding on to Shin she cried into his shoulder. “It’s so unfair... Touma and Seiji have never done anything to harm anyone, they don’t deserve this... they don’t deserve this... they don’t...” Her body shook as she cried and Shin tried his best to comfort her. Shu also sat next to her and rubbed her shoulder.

“Lorelei, you have to calm down.” Shu spoke softly. “You have to think of your baby now.” Shu looked to Shin who also had tears running down his face. They had been best friends for so many years and were even best men at each other’s weddings.

When Shin and Lorelei had tried to start a family it was music to Shu’s ears. Then the heartaches came, two pregnancies and two miscarriages left Lorelei unable to conceive naturally and so the couple had turned to other means and as each one failed it was Shu who kept the optimism going when everything seemed so bleak.

He knew that if they just relaxed and allowed things to happen that it would. Shin and Lorelei decided to try one more time, flying to the USA to see an Invetro specialist and sure enough the process had worked for there they were just months away from being new parents.

“Come on honey, let’s get you into bed, you need to rest.” Shin spoke softly to her as he pushed her waist long hair back over her shoulders. “Touma and Seiji will find their way back to each other, they have in the past and they will again. We just have to keep on believing.” Shin reminded her as he rained light kisses on her cheeks.

He heard her sigh and smiled. Lorelei had a thing for kissing, she absolutely loved it. To her the ultimate turn on was being kissed non-stop and Shin was all too happy to honor that request. He truly loved his wife more then anything; she was his world and his life.

“Hey while you’re doing that I’m going to call Ming and fill her in. Knowing her she’ll take SinJin to her parents and be here by tomorrow morning.” He chuckled slightly at that.

“I hope Touma won’t mind if I grab a shower, cause weee ewwww, I need it. Good thing I keep a spare change of clothes in my car because there is no way I could ever fit into Slim or Slender’s clothes... No matter how much I trim down.” Shu laughed and was glad to see Shin and Lorelei chuckle as well.

There hadn’t been a whole lot to smile about lately and that was hard on Shu, he was too much of a happy go lucky person and all this gloom was starting to get to him.

“Sure thing Shu, I’m sure Touma won’t mind.” Shin smiled and helped his wife to stand up. Shin shook his head as he recalled how Shu would tease Touma and Seiji by calling them by the nicknames Slim and Slender, with Touma being Slim and Seiji being Slender. If nothing else, the names fit the warriors of Sunlight and Sky! God too bad we can’t go back to those happier times right now. He thought as one particular memory flashed into his mind.

/// He had just finished cleaning up from lunch and had gone into the laundry room to throw a load of linen in the washer when he heard the back door open. He knew it was Seiji who had gone out to meditate. Touma had been sitting in the kitchen still bleary eyed from his birthday party the night before, trying to eat some breakfast.

Walking out of the laundry room he was greeted with an exquisite site... Seiji and Touma sitting on the stools by the counter, lips locked in a gentle kiss as Seiji’s hand caressed Touma’s thigh. Soft moans were coming from the two and he could tell it wouldn’t be long before the two left the kitchen for the comfort of their room.

Those two surely seemed to have a lot of stamina that was for sure. Shin had spent part of the night in Lorelei’s room, which happened to be next to Touma and Seiji’s room. Those two had definitely tried to make up for lost time and at some point Shin and Lorelei had to vacate her room due to the loud sounds coming from the new lover’s hide away.

He knew it was time to slip back into the laundry room when he saw Touma’s hand go to Seiji’s crotch and slowly stroke the bulge hidden under green sweatpants. Seiji and Touma broke the kiss and Seiji began kissing Touma’s neck. “Let’s finish this upstairs before anyone walks in on us.” He heard Seiji speak as Touma nodded silently. Too late, someone already has! He had chuckled to himself.

Hiding behind the door he peeked through the crack as Touma grabbed Seiji’s hand and the two men made a beeline up the stairs. No one saw hide nor hair of the two until suppertime. Of course after witnessing that scene he did go and find Lorelei, after all he was a hot-blooded male. ///

Shin smiled at the memory as he pulled the covers up over his wife. “Sleep tight hon, I’ll be up in a little while. I want to check on Touma and then speak to Shu a bit.” He placed a kiss on her forehead before turning out the light and then slipping quietly out of the room.

Stopping off at Touma’s room, Shin opened the door slowly. Touma was curled up on the bed he and Seiji normally shared, tightly clutching Seiji’s pillow and the sweatshirt Touma had been holding onto earlier, was draped over the pillow.

Shin’s heart took a nosedive when he heard Touma softly call out Seiji’s name in his sleep and then bury his face in Seiji’s pillow. “I’m so sorry Touma... I wish I could take your pain away, to somehow ease your heartache.

“There is something small I can do; though it’s just a temporary thing, but if it’ll help then it’s worth it.” Shin tip toed over to Touma and gently placed his hand on the archer’s head; a soft light-blue glow radiated around the two and Shin watched as Touma’s face relax into a more serene expression. “There you go my friend; at least for tonight your sleep will be peaceful.”

Quietly he turned to leave. “Shin?” He heard Touma speak weakly.

“Yeah Touma?” Shin turned to look at the archer. Touma’s midnight blue eyes were peeking up over the pillow he still held on to.

“Thanks.” Touma said and then closed his eyes. He had felt Shin mental touch, soothing him and pushing the stress and worry far into the deep recesses of his mind. It was still there but all Touma felt was exhaustion and a peaceful calm entering his soul, standing guard against the terrors that had been overwhelming him. “G’night.”

“Goodnight Touma.” Sleep well my friend. Shin walked into the hallway leaving the door slightly ajar just in case Touma cried out during the night.

Shu was just walking out of the bathroom, toweling his hair and still dripping from his shower when he saw Shin slip out of Touma’s room.

> “How is he?” < Shu spoke to him through the link just in case Touma was awake and listening.

(“As well as can be expected, all things considered. I made sure that at least for tonight he would sleep okay.” ) Shin yawned and stretched.

“You should get some rest, between all the driving you did and healing Touma and now helping him again you have to be exhausted.” Shu looked at his friend and tried to smile as he spoke openly. “Shin, you have a beautiful wife waiting for you in that room... What the hell are you doing out here spending your time with an old fart like me?” They both laughed at that.

“Hey wait a minute! I’m older then you, and if you’re an old fart what does that make me?” Shin chuckled and walked over and stood in front of Shu.

Pretending to contemplate the question, Shu stood there for a moment before finally answering. “An even older fart?” He quirked an eyebrow and both men laughed happily.

“Lorelei is sound asleep, I made sure she would be... I had to do something Shu; she’s so worried about Seiji... and Touma.” Shin frowned. “I thought that maybe we can think about what to do next. I’ll even be nice and make you a snack if you’d like.”

“You got yourself a deal buddy. Just let me throw on some clothes.” Shu smiled and then his face turned serious. “Do you think Seiji would leave Touma if his family insisted he honor his duties to the Dojo and all?”

“I really don’t know Shu. For Touma’s sake, I hope it doesn’t come to that... He may say that he’ll let him go if that’s the case, but I doubt his heart could ever fully let go.” Shin looked to the floor really not wanting to even think about that just yet. “I’ll meet you downstairs.” Shin remarked sadly and headed down the hallway.

“Be there in two.” Shu replied feeling his friend’s anguish, which seemed to match his own.

 

********************************************************************************

Shin finally crawled into bed around 4:00am having spent most of the night, with Shu’s help, calling hospitals, and local police to see if Seiji had turned up. They then set about calling morgues and funeral homes hoping with all their might that no one would say they had a body there matching Seiji’s description.

Shin was quite relieved when they came up empty handed and was actually feeling good until Shu remarked that it could very well be that Seiji’s body hasn’t been discovered yet.

“Shu don’t even think such a thing.” Shin had scolded him. Shu apologized and eventually both men knew they needed to get some rest. Shin had checked on Touma one last time before going to the room where Lorelei slept and was happy to see that the archer was sleeping quite peacefully.

“Mmmm what time is it?” Lorelei asked sleepily as she felt Shins arms wrap around her and pull her closer to him.

“Four in the morning. Sorry to have awakened you, go back to sleep.” Shin whispered and kissed the back of her head. Lorelei turned so she was now facing him, putting her forehead up against his and softly running her hand up and down his side.

“I guess Seiji hasn’t been arrested, injured or... found dead.” She commented calmly. Her fingers delicately made little circles over Shin’s chest and she leaned in to plant small kisses over his bare shoulder.

“No; none of the above or at least not when we made the calls.” Shin closed his eyes enjoying the sensations Lorelei’s touch brought to him. “Uhm exactly what are you up to?” He giggled and was just little surprised that she would even be in the mood for anything like this.

“Oh just this...” Lorelei laughed when a loud gasp shot out of her husband’s mouth. Claiming his lips in a sultry kiss she continued bringing him to life.

“Lorelei you are naughty!” Shin remarked breathlessly after breaking the kiss. He wasn’t prepared for his wife’s sudden urge and when she had reached between them to grasp his sex he couldn’t stop the sound that escaped his lips.

“So ya wanna play?” She kissed his neck knowing full well that it was quite sensitive. Lorelei smiled when Shin began to moan softly and then buck his hips to match her strokes, she let out a gasp herself when long slender fingers found their way between her legs to prod and caress her.

“Someone is a little aroused...” Shin smiled and pushed Lorelei onto her back as he began a trail of kisses down her body, teasing and pleasing whatever he could get his mouth on. He knew this wouldn’t be one of their more drawn out romps since they were both extremely tired but they still needed the closeness their love-making always brought them. Inserting fingers he slowly pumped his hand and used his tongue to pleasure her. He smiled as his wife’s moans filled the room and soon enough he was rewarded with her cries as she came.

Lorelei quickly nudged Shin up for a kiss and then set about bringing him as much pleasure. Taking him into her mouth she worked him, quickening the pace as he got closer to the edge until she felt his body stiffen and he shot his seed into her mouth, finishing up, Lorelei quickly scooted up and was met with a heated kiss.

“I love you Shin Mori, so very much.” She smiled. “I’ll just be glad when we can resume having full sex, not that this isn’t nice, but I need you inside of me. I need that so badly.” She laid her head on his shoulder.

“I Love you too Lorelei Mori.” Shin wrapped his arms around her holding her close to him. “Hey I want that as well babe, but we can’t take any risks, not at this juncture. You know the doctor laid those laws down and for now we will just have to follow them.”

> “Hey! Are you two through making noise now?” < It was Shu communicating to Shin through their link.

( “Sh... Shu?” ) Shin asked a bit surprised to hear him in his mind. Lorelei saw the look on Shin’s face turn to shock and waited for him to fill her in. He mouthed the word SHU and pointed to his head. Lorelei just giggled and laid her head back down.

> “Yeah? Now are you two done or should I just forget about getting any sleep? I don’t know if you are aware of this, but the walls in this house are paper-thin.” < Shu laughed; he could almost see Shin blushing.

( “Uh, yeah, we’re finished... Oh jeez... Sorry about that Shu.” ) Shin pictured Shu lying there with a big old silly grin. ( “You’re enjoying embarrassing me, aren’t you?” ) Shin yawned.

> “You bet I am! I just wish Ming were here, cause I’m horny as hell thanks to you two!” < Shu laughed.

( “Yeah well that’s what hands are for, or did you forget that?” ) Shin laughed and then winced when Lorelei lightly pinched a nipple and told him to be quiet since he was laughing a little too loud.

> “Very funny Mori-san, very funny! Hey bud, goodnight okay?” < Shu responded.

( “Goodnight Shu, sweet dreams.” ) Shin said and then felt the link close but not before he sensed what Shu was about to do. He was still blushing when he allowed his mind to search out Touma whom he found to be sleeping peacefully. Content, Shin settled down and quickly drifted off to sleep.

********************************************************************************

“I still think we should go right to Touma’s.” Ryo fidgeted in the passenger seat. He was concerned about his friend and really wanted to get the full details about what had happened since Shin’s call was a little vague.

“We will Ryo, but let’s go to the house first, unload our luggage and then we will head there.” Nasuti tried to keep her husband calm. She was worried as well, Shin didn’t give a lot of details just that Touma was hurt and Seiji was missing. If anything it left them with more questions then it did answers.

Good thing she insisted on driving from the airport because the way Ryo was going they may not have made it home and if they did, she’d have a pile of speeding tickets. “You heard Shin, Touma was still sound asleep when we called from the airport.”

“I know but dammit Suti, I’m still not sure just what the hell happened! I mean the last time we talked to Touma he indicated that things were getting a little better. What the hell happened?” Ryo combed his fingers through his ebony mane, bright tiger blue eyes dulled somewhat as he recalled the feeling he had gotten the other night. “I still don’t know if that scream I heard was real or just a dream. God it seemed so real. I just hope that I never hear that again for as long as I live.” He shivered as the memory flooded back to him.

Nasuti reached across the seat to lay her hand on Ryo’s thigh. She too recalled that night. The look in her husband’s eyes had terrified her. “Listen I know this is all so frustrating, but before we go to Touma’s, you need to calm down. Touma needs level headed people around him right now.” She saw his face relax somewhat. “I’m certain that he must be going crazy by now, and the last thing he needs is one of us going off the deep end.”

“You’re right, I’m sorry.” Ryo took her hand in his, bringing it to his lips he kissed it. “I love you Suti, I always will.”

“I love you too Ry. Now why don’t we stop and pick up Byakuen or White Blaze, as he seems to have been dubbed by most of our friends.” She smiled at him and it never ceased to amaze her that one look from those blue eyes could get her heart pounding.

“That was Touma’s doing you know... He thought White Blaze sounded better, more like a tiger’s name.” Ryo laughed. “Then Lorelei started and before I knew it, my tiger practically had a new name. I think he even answers better to the new one.” Both enjoyed a hearty chuckle at that.

While Ryo went into the house of his friend to retrieve his tiger, Nasuti called Shin for the latest. What she was told had her in tears, her heart sunk to her toes and she knew she had to keep this newest information from Ryo for at least a little while. Knowing Ryo the way she did, she knew he would go ballistic and she wasn’t in any mood to deal with his anger at the moment.

Upon seeing Ryo she quickly pulled it together, something she had gotten use to doing during the war with the dynasty. It was a painfully quiet ride home though Ryo did ask her several times what was wrong. “Just tired that’s all” Was her reply, Ryo didn’t buy it of course, but he felt it was best to wait till she was ready to explain.

********************************************************************************

“Home sweet home!” Ryo smiled and quickly got out of the car, Byakuen followed suit and began to sniff the air.

I just wish we were coming back to happier news...” Nasuti’s voice trailed off. Ryo walked up to her and wrapped his arms around her waist and snuggled his chin into the crook of her neck.

“You seem distracted and I get this feeling it isn’t just about being tired. What’s wrong?” He kissed her neck. “Please Suti... What happened?” He spun her around so he could look her in the eyes.

“Ryo I need to tell you someth...” She didn’t get to finish because Byakuen let out a low growl and began acting strangely. “Ryo what’s with him?” She asked.

“I don’t know but I get the feeling he wants us to follow him.” Ryo watched as Byakuen took off towards the lake. “I’ll stay with him, you stay here.” Ryo instructed.

“No way, I’m going with and don’t even try and stop me Ryo Sanada!” Nasuti caught up to him and he knew it wasn’t a good idea to argue, Nasuti was much too stubborn of a person. Byakuen led them down past the cabins and into the woods. Ryo stopped dead in his tracks when he noticed the dark green 4-Runner hidden there.

“That’s Seiji’s! I’m sure of it!” Ryo shouted and ran over to the car peering in he saw nothing out of the ordinary and then he saw Byakuen sniffing at something on the ground. “What is it boy?” Ryo looked at the dark spot and then noticed a trail of them leading into the woods.

“Ryo is that... blood?” Nasuti asked, her face tightened as she held back the nauseous feeling that overcame her. She watched as Byakuen went over to the other side of car and that’s when they noticed a lighter trail of drops.

“Looks like they lead into the woods and then back out again.” Ryo remarked and continued to follow the trail with his eyes. “They lead to the cabin... Come on!” His heart was racing now; it had to be Seiji and if so that meant he was hurt. Seiji please be okay man... What a thing to come home to.

Bolting through the cabin door the scene that lay out before them had both go pale. “OH MY GOD!” Nasuti cried out. The cabin was in shambles the sparsely furnished room was a total wreck broken dishes and furniture littered much of the available floor space.

“Shit! Oh God NO!” Ryo yelled as he carefully made his way through the mess towards what it was that held his attention. Glass crunched under his feet with each step and he could see drops of blood everywhere but it was the pool of it near the bathroom door that scared him the most.

“Nasuti stay there. I mean it!” She nodded her head and Ryo slowly opened the door, his voice caught in his throat when he saw him. “SEIJI!!” He finally screamed and had Nasuti right behind him now. The two couldn’t believe what they were seeing; it was nothing short of a nightmare.

“Oh dear God... No... Not Seiji.” Nasuti closed her eyes the image before her was just too horrific. The blond swordsman laid in the middle of the floor, his white shirt covered in blood, there was also blood matting in his hair and she could see a small pool of blood under him as well.

The next sound she heard was that of her husband as he lost his lunch, the stench of blood was more then his stomach could take. “Ryo... Is he... Is he d...d...dead?” Nasuti finally asked.

The shock of the whole scene finally wore off and Ryo raced over to the blond, as he reached down to feel for a pulse, he heard a soft moan. “He’s alive! Thank God, he’s alive!” Ryo had tears streaming down his cheeks.

Just then Seiji opened his eyes to see Nasuti and Ryo kneeling beside him. Shocked and confused he looked up at them then turned his gaze to the floor. “NO! NO! NO! NO! I should be dead! Dammit! Let me die! LET ME DIE!” He screamed and tore at the sleeves to his shirt. “How... How can this be?” He asked, baffled at the sight of his wrists.

“Seiji, calm down. What happened?” Nasuti spoke softly; she too looked at his wrists and saw the faint pink scars. “OH my God! Seiji you didn’t... Say you didn’t try and kill yourself!” Tears were flowing from her eyes as the sickening realization hit her.

“Leave me alone, go away! Let me die please?” Seiji was trembling, sweat poured from his brow wetting the dried blood as he tried to hide his face from them. “I have brought shame to everyone; I’ve dishonored my family and friends... I just wanted to end it all... I don’t understand it? How’d I get here?”

“Seiji please calm down, talk to us man. Why do you want to die?” Ryo asked his fear clearly etched upon his tanned features.

“I hurt Touma! Ryo I hurt him really bad... I lost control... The one thing I was trying to get back caused me to hurt the one I loved.” His own voice cracked as he sobbed into the floor.

“Hey we know you hit him, but it’s okay... Touma forgives you.” Ryo tried to get the swordsman to look at him. “Shin told us that you snapped... please Seiji... it’s okay.”

“No Ryo... It’s not okay... I didn’t just hit Touma! What I did to him was far more violent, it was sick and I hate myself for it.” When Seiji finally looked up Ryo could see the large cut just above the hairline, which was probably the cause for the blood in the hair.

“Ryo... I...” Seiji curled up tighter putting his head to his knees, hiding his face since he was too ashamed to look at his friend. “Ryo I raped Touma...” The words were so faint Ryo almost didn’t hear them but when he did he could feel the rage beginning to burn within him.

“YOU WHAT?” Ryo felt anger touch his soul. “You raped him?”

“Yes.. I took him against his will... He begged me to stop, pleaded with me... I didn’t listen... I... Oh God he screamed... It hurt him... I hurt him... I hurt that one person who meant the world to me. I don‘t deserve to be alive.” Seiji’s whole body shook from the force of his sobs.

Ryo’s anger could no longer remain docked and in one swift move he grabbed the swordsman by the front of his shirt, stood the both of them up and then pushed Seiji’s body up against the wall. Seiji cried out as his back hit the wall and the pain seared through his spine.

“RYO NO!” Nasuti screamed and tried to free Seiji but Ryo just pushed her aside. “Please Ryo you don’t understand! Stop! I need to talk to you!” Her pleas fell on deaf ears as Ryo continued to hold Seiji up against the wall.

“YOU BASTARD! How could you?” Ryo pulled him away and slammed him back against the wall. “How could you do that to him? Tell me Seiji! How could you rape the man who loved you with every thing he had? HOW?” Ryo felt the flames of rage burning through his veins and in one swift move hurled Seiji up and through the bathroom doorway where Seiji landed in a heap amongst the broken glass and furniture. Seiji could feel glass embedding itself into his flesh but he didn’t care.

“Oh God Ryo no! Stop it!” Nasuti cried out to him again.

“Go ahead Ryo, kill me... I deserve it! I’m tainted now... no longer am I worthy of your friendship or of Touma’s love.” Seiji looked up at him with lifeless eyes. The pain in his heart was too much for him and he curled into a ball to cry. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry... Oh God please...” He cried.

“You disgust me Seiji! Go ahead and die, we’ll all be better off not having to look at your pathetic face!” Ryo walked towards him and watched as Seiji flinched and tried to get away from him. It was in that instant that Seiji’s memories of his own rape flooded back.

“No please, don’t hurt me... don’t hurt me anymore.” Seiji’s eyes showed a fear that Ryo had never seen before in the otherwise composed blond.

“Did Touma beg like that Seiji? Did that stop you from raping him? WELL DID IT?” Ryo was about to grab the swordsman’s arm when Byakuen clamped his massive jaws onto Ryo’s arm to stop him. “Huh?”

“Ryo stop it please!” Nasuti finally got a hold of Ryo’s arms and forced him to look at her. “Ryo he’s scared, he needs help... None of this is his fault.” Nasuti tried to get her husband to listen.

“What about Touma? What about his pain? Are you saying this is Touma’s fault? Well? Are you?” Ryo had never felt so much anger as he did at that very moment.

“It’s no one’s fault... Seiji was raped too.” Nasuti watched as the angered expression on Ryo’s face change. “That night he just wasn’t savagely beaten Ryo, those five men also raped him.” She could sense the pain of her words hit Ryo as he fell forward into her arms. Nasuti pulled Ryo close to her and held him as he began to cry.

“Oh God Suti... I didn’t know... I didn’t know.” Ryo sobbed then looked over at Seiji who remained curled up, his body trembled as silent tears streaked down his face. “Seiji...” He pulled from Nasuti and slowly knelt by the blond.

“Don’t Ryo... Don’t taint yourself by touching me...” Seiji said hoarsely. “Please just let me die. You’re right I am disgusting, I’m so dirty now... so ashamed...”

“Seiji, I’m so sorry. Please forgive me?” He reached out and brushed the hair from Seiji’s face. “You’re not to blame Seiji... None of this is your fault. Understand?” Ryo sat down and pulled Seiji into his lap. Both men cried as Ryo rocked Seiji trying his best to comfort him despite the flicker of anger that still touched him.

“I feel so ashamed... I never meant to hurt Touma... I couldn’t stop it; it was like I had no control over anything that was happening. Oh God Ryo I can still hear him screaming. Make it stop please make it stop!” Seiji buried his face into Ryo’s chest and cried. Ryo continued to hold him as minutes ticked away slowly. Finally the sobs began to slow and Nasuti scooted closer to the two.

“Seiji why don’t we get you up to the house, we’ll work on getting you cleaned up and check out those wounds. Looks like Korin tried to heal most of them. At least the worst of them.” Nasuti said cringing as she saw the pink scars on his wrists.

“Impossible... I tossed my orb into the woods.” Seiji spoke weakly. He then felt a vibration in his pocket and reached into it, wincing as he did so. Pulling his hand out he opened it to show the green orb as it pulsated in his palm. “H...How?”

“Seiji you should know our armors will always protect us. You can’t just throw it away. It chose you... not the other way around.” Ryo commented as he continued the rocking motion.

“That means it brought me back here. The last thing I remember is going into the woods to die. I was going to drive the knife into my heart but a noise startled me. I must have been too close to an embankment because I lost my footing and fell down it. I couldn’t get up and so I just slashed my wrists. I must have passed out after that.” Seiji looked at them puzzled.

“That explains the cut on your head. I assume the armor found you but could only heal you enough to keep you alive. Seiji if we had only known... If you had just come to one of us, we could have helped you.” Nasuti cried and leaned down to hug the swordsman. What he had just confessed to her and Ryo made her sick to her stomach and now she was so thankful that armor they still bore. “You didn’t have to face this alone. We‘ve always been here for each other, you had to have known that.”

Seiji could only look at her, he knew she was right but years of training taught him to keep such pain under wraps. “Guys, I want to go home. Please help me to go home...” He began crying again.

“Sure Seiji. We’ll call Touma; he’s been worried about you.” Ryo smiled a bit and helped Seiji to sit up more while checking for any other visible wounds.

“No don’t call Touma... I want to go home to Sendai, to my family. It’s time for me to fulfill my duties as the Date heir.” His voice took on a tone void of all emotion and his body stiffened as he pulled away from Ryo and Nasuti. “I can’t love Touma anymore... Not after what I’ve done.”

“Seiji! You can’t mean that, Touma loves you...” Nasuti reached out to him only to be met with that steel gray stare he was famous for. “Let’s get you up to the house and then we can talk.” She said as she pulled back from him.

“NO! No more talking. I will go up to the house, but only to call my father and grandfather to come and get me.” Seiji tried to stand but his legs wouldn’t hold him and Ryo caught him as he began to fall.

“Easy there Seiji. Listen you can’t do this to Touma. It’ll break his heart.” Ryo looked at him but knew that once Seiji had his mind set, there was no convincing him otherwise.

“I have to Ryo... I have to.” He said then began to walk on his own towards the door.

********************************************************************************

“What do we tell Touma?” Ryo asked as he stood by Seiji’s car, which Sensei Date was going to drive, while Seiji’s father had his own car. They had tried for several hours to convince Seiji into calling Touma, but he had his mindset and no amount of talking was going to change that.

“Tell him to forget me... Tell him it’s time we moved on... Tell him to stay away...” Seiji finally spoke, and then nodded to his grandfather who refused to look at him. This was part of Seiji’s test, he had the whole drive to Sendai to convince his grandfather he was ready to honor his family and fulfill the duties bestowed upon him.

“Seiji, you can’t mean this...” Nasuti started to say.

“You heard my grandson. I think that should be enough for you.” The elder Date motioned for them to step away from the car as he slowly pulled out with Seiji’s dad right behind them. Ryo and Nasuti watched as the cars disappeared down the driveway.

Seiji watched silently as they passed by the lake and the cabins, a lone tear slid down his cheek.

Goodbye memories of happier times no longer will they be as sweet. Please forgive me Touma and I wish you the best as you move on with your life... Just as I move on with mine.

 

END OF CHAPTER FIVE

 

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God I can be so evil!

Well what did you think? Was it any good? I know it may not have stood up to the last Chapter and for that I am truly sorry... Anyway I’d love to hear your comments. Please be so kind as to leave a review... I really am interested in what all of you think. Okay Chapter 6 will be posted after I see some reviews telling me to do so... Evil is as Evil does ^_^