HOUSTON, TX -- The National Football League has announced today that, due to all the recent publicity of Super Bowl XXXVIII, the big game will be getting a new moniker. From now on, it will known as the "Stripper Bowl."

High ratings seem to be pushing this adaptation which is being implemented from the very top of the NFL's organization. The name change, however, is only part of a larger overall conversion.

All commercials will have be approved by the cable channel Cinemax. Also, the halftime shows will now be exclusively developed by producers of the wildly popular television series Sex and the City.

Playboy will be revamping all cheerleader squads with Hefner in charge of costume design and choreography. The NFL logo, team logos, and mascots are to be redesigned by Playboy cartoonists as well.

Extra points and field goals will be sponsored by match-making services. Referees are to hold signs for manufacturers of "erectile dysfunction" medication when they raise their stiffened arms signaling a touchdown score.

Due to this evolution, sporting events will have to be labeled with a parental warning. Football games have been branded with an "R" rating, insuring that valid I.D.s will be checked at the gate to keep those under the age of eighteen from experiencing the peep show. All games are to be shown on TV after hours.

Welcome to the 21st century.