Lance didn't know what he was doing. As he watched Josh sleep, his mind kept racing. Why had he shown himself to this man? Josh wasn't supposed to ever see him, but tonight he had. Lance had touched him, and had allowed Josh to touch him back.Another thing that was not allowed, but it had happened. He couldn't explain the feelings he had for this man. Lance just knew that he wanted to protect this man named Josh with his long curly hair and clear blue eyes. He wanted him to sleep. He wanted to help him forget whatever troubled his mind to cause him to lose sleep with his nightmares. He wanted to keep him safe.
"You're in love
with him, Lance," a voice whispered next to him.
"Love?"
This was not a feeling he had felt before. He had lived his life among the
heavens born as an angel. He had never walked on the earth as a human as his
friend Justin had. "Justin, I am not in love with him."
"Yes, you are.
Trust me. I know these things."
Lance let out a
chuckle. "You do, huh?"
"Yeah."
Justin put his hand on his friend's shoulder. "You are breaking all the rules,
you know. Falling in love, showing yourself. You haven't talked to him, have
you?"
Lance shook his head.
"No."
"Not yet,
anyway." Justin sighed. "Just be careful, Lance. Make sure you know
what you are doing."
Lance laughed again.
"That's just the thing. I don't know what I am doing." Lance watched
as Josh continued to sleep peacefully. He would give him sleep. That he could
do.
*****************
The next morning Josh
woke up with a smile on his face. He had slept through the entire night without
waking up once. No dreams plagued his sleep. He knew he had someone to thank
for that. His green-eyed protector was responsible. He was sure of it. Getting
out of bed, he walked towards the bathroom stopping to look at his dresser
mirror. He saw the familiar figure of the man he had seen last night.
"Thank you," he whispered.
The man nodded with a
smile, and then he was gone.
Josh sighed. He
continued into the bathroom. After taking a quick shower, he threw on some
clothing, and went into the kitchen. It was his day off from the shelter, and
he fully intended to take it easy that day. Lounge around the house. Read the
newspaper. Maybe catch some basketball on television. He made himself a plate
of sandwiches, and took it into the living room. Just as he sat down on the
couch, there was a knock on the door. He groaned as she stood up. "Damn
it!"
As soon as he opened
the door, Chris pushed his way in. "Hey, Chasez! Time for the game
yet?"
"Come on in,
Chris." As he watched Chris grab a sandwich from his plate he continued,
"Help yourself to my food."
Chris turned towards
him. "Hey, thanks man," he said, as he chewed on his sandwich.
"Gross,
Chris." Josh sat down next to his friend on the couch picking up a
sandwich for himself to eat. Chris had turned on the television to a basketball
game, and they ate in silence.
At halftime, Chris
muted the television and turned towards his friend. "So how are you
doing?"
Josh shrugged his
shoulders. "Fine. Why?"
"Just wanted to
see how you were after yesterday. You know after dealing with that girl from
solitary."
Josh looked down at
his hands. "Oh. I'm fine, Chris."
Chris arched his
eyebrow, as he leaned back against the couch. "Really now?"
"Yes,
really."
"Bullshit. I saw
your face when I told you about the girl. You know what happened is not your
fault, Josh. You had no idea that she would off herself in solitary."
Josh stood up.
"I don't want to talk about it, Chris." Josh could hear Chris
following behind him. When he entered the kitchen, he turned back towards his
friend. "Chris, I don't want to talk about that night, so just drop
it."
His friend sighed as
he leaned against the kitchen counter. "Maybe talking about it will make
things better for you. Still having the nightmares about it?" Josh did not
answer. "Talk to someone, Josh. Me, Joe, someone else, but you need to
talk to someone about this because it wasn't your fault."