TITLE:
The Way Things Are
AUTHOR: Sukie
Tawdry
EMAIL: sukie_tawdry@hotmail.com
RATING: NC-17
SPOILERS: Season 1
CATEGORY: Guess you could call it AU. Diverges
from canon some time during season 1.
KEYWORDS: Story, MSR
DISCLAIMER: None of the characters belong to me. Sniff
SUMMARY: One night and their whole
lives were changed
forever.
FEEDBACK: Good or not so good--go
ahead. I can
take it. I'm a big girl.
ARCHIVE: Again, go ahead.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Thanks go to Sybils for wonderful
beta and support.
And a big thank you to Foxymulderluver
for giving
this story a home on her website:
http://www.oocities.org/foxymulderluver
Part 19 - We Gather Together
"Oh my God, Dana! You're ready to pop!" Tara Scully
rushed
across the kitchen, embracing Scully. "I hope this is me,
next year," she whispered.
"You're planning..." Dana smiled at her candy-floss blonde
sister-in-law's pink cheeks. The kitchen was warm from
cooking and deliciously scented.
"Now that Bill's going to be stateside for a while, we want to
start our family," she said, her voice low.
beyond Scully. "Hi there, you must be Mulder."
Mulder nodded hello, a tray of pies in his
hands. Scully could
feel tension coming off him like waves of heat. She almost
welcomed his anxiety. It was more life than she'd seen in him
since their conversation with the man Mulder had
called "Deep
Throat."
"Oh
Mulder, this is Tara, Bill's wife."
"Hello Fox," Margaret Scully said as she turned from the oven.
"Why don't you put the pies in the laundry room, next to the
other desserts." Margaret moved past Mulder to kiss her
daughter. "Dana, I told you not to bring anything. It's enough
that you're here."
Mulder returned to the kitchen, his face a mask of
apprehension.
Scully knew he was wasn't looking forward to meeting
Bill. She
was hoping Bill would be on his best behavior with
his wife and
mother present.
"Mom, do you need me to do anything?" Melissa Scully entered
the room. "Hey, I thought I heard someone come in. Wow.
I
mean, wow. You are huge, Dana."
"Thank you for telling me. I had no idea I'd gotten so big,"
Scully said wryly, hugging her sister. "You remember Mulder."
"How could I forget the man who..."
"That's a beautiful sweater, Melissa," Scully said, quickly
changing the subject. She hoped to avoid a repeat of the
unfortunate "knocked up my sister comment. She didn't think
Mulder could handle that today.
"Hey, where's Bill, by the way?"
"He's glued to the game. Why don't you join him, Mulder?
All you guys like that unnecessary violence, right?"
"I seem to have lost my taste for it, actually."
Scully turned to her partner, almost surprised at the sound of
his voice. It seemed as if it been a long time since she'd
heard him speak and she missed it.
"Have you heard from Charlie?" Dana asked her mother.
"He called early this morning, just as I was putting the turkey
in the oven. Everyone's fine. They may be coming home in a
few months."
"That would be wonderful," Melissa said. "I miss
him."
"Well, dinner is just about ready. Dana, why don't you go
get comfortable while the girls and I bring everything
to the
table."
"Mom, I want to help," Dana said.
"You should take it easy, Dana." Her mother looked at Scully
impatiently. Something in Scully's face must have told her not
to insist on inactivity, and Margaret sighed in resignation.
"All right. Why don't you and Mulder pour the wine."
Margaret Scully handed Mulder a large bottle of wine
and a
corkscrew. As Scully and Mulder entered the
dining room, they
could hear Margaret issuing directions like a general deploying
her troops.
"Well, look who's here. Didn't know if you'd make
it."
Bill stood in the doorway, arms folded over his chest. He moved
to his sister, pressing a kiss to her cheek. Bill glanced at
Mulder, animosity plain in his eyes. For his
part, Mulder seemed
incredibly intent on uncorking the wine.
"Well, I haven't gone into labor yet, if that's
what you meant,"
Scully said, resting one hand on her belly. "Bill, this is my
partner Fox Mulder." Scully's voice was
stern, the message of
'don't fuck with him,' strong and clear. "My brother,
Bill Scully."
The two men shook hands stiffly, the air crackling with tension.
They eyed each other warily, reminding Scully of two gunslingers
meeting at high noon. Their awkward standoff was relieved by the
women carrying in plates of food.
"Coming through, hot food!"
her husband with a large bowl of mashed potatoes. Several trips to
the kitchen later, the guests were ready to be seated.
"Bill, would you do the honors," Margaret
Scully said, gesturing
at the turkey.
"Sure, Mom." Bill fingered the carving
set, his eyes a little
misty. "I'd be honored."
There was a layer of sadness on this
first Thanksgiving since Bill Scully Sr's
death. A moment of
quiet remembrance passed and Bill began to solemnly carve the
turkey.
After a bit of fumbling, Bill managed to slice the meat. Scully
watched him with a pathologist's discerning eye, but wisely
chose to keep any comments on Bill's technique to herself.
Finally, Bill took his seat.
"Well, Dad always led us in grace, so if you wouldn't mind,
Bill," Margaret said, extending her hands to the side. Her
mother's hand was warm; Mulder's fingers were ice
cold.
Fortunately, Bill kept the prayer simple and brief.
"Heavenly Father, bless us all as we gather here today. We thank
you for the bounty of this meal."
"That was lovely, dear," Margaret said, her
voice choked with
emotion. "I know your father would be happy knowing we were
together."
"To Dad," Bill said, raising his glass in a toast. Dana
raised her glass of cranberry juice as the others raised their
wine.
"To Dad," Melissa repeated. "And to all those we miss on
this holiday."
Scully snuck a quick glance at her partner; he took a long draught
of his wine, setting the nearly empty glass on the table. Was he
thinking of his family? Remembering Thanksgivings before Samantha
was gone? Mulder's expression was guarded, but
Scully thought she
detected pain. She longed to take his hand, but he'd been so distant
lately. She wasn't sure how Mulder would take
the gesture.
The table was set with Margaret Scully's best china, crystal and
flatware, as if the proper place settings would bring harmony to
the gathering. Sadly, all the Royal Daulton in
the world
couldn't do that. Hopefully, none of the china would be broken
when the inevitable fireworks began.
Margaret soldiered on, cheerfully keeping the conversation moving.
picked at his food, Melissa watched the proceedings with amusement
and Scully longed for a glass or three of wine to dull the pain.
"Everything's delicious, Mom," Bill said. A flurry of
affirmations
left Margaret Scully blushing with pleasure. And the food probably
was delicious, though Scully could barely taste it. Her gaze
kept drifting to Mulder, as he pushed the same clump
of mashed
potatoes into new and interesting art forms.
Melissa and Tara began to clear the table. "No wonder you're so
skinny," Melissa remarked as she placed Mulder's
plate atop the
others. "You hardly ate a thing."
"I had plenty, really," Mulder
replied. "It was a terrific meal."
For the first time all day, Margaret Scully took a good look at
Mulder. "Are you all right, Fox?" she
asked. "You look pale."
"I'm fine, really." Mulder was
clearly uncomfortable under the
scrutiny. "Let me help clear the table."
Scully reached for a serving dish, only to have her hand slapped
away by her mother. "We'll take care of this, Dana. Fox, why
don't you and Dana go watch TV in the den. You both look
exhausted."
Surprised at his lack of resistance, Scully followed Mulder
into
the den. Her partner stood before the television, flipping
through the channels until he found a football game that interested
him. She sunk into the sofa cushions, wondering if she'd be able
to get up later. Mulder eyed the recliner, but
after catching her
pleading glance, settled onto the sofa next to Scully.
They watched the game, though Scully barely registered which teams
were playing. The sound of breaking glass caused both to turn in
the direction of the kitchen. A few minutes later, Bill sauntered
into the den.
"Broken plate trick, Bill?" Scully asked, wryly.
"Unintentional this year, but heck, it still works," he replied.
"Bill broke so many dishes, Mom exempted him from washing
up detail," Scully said, by way of explanation to Mulder.
"Yeah, but that only got me double garbage duty. I guess it sort
of backfired. So, what's the score?"
"Packers are ahead twenty-four to nineteen," Mulder
said, as
Bill dropped onto the recliner. The blaring noise of the
television masked the silence of the viewers. Her brother
seemed caught up in the game and Scully entertained the
hope that maybe, just maybe, they'd get through the rest of
the day in peace.
Mulder's eyes were glued to the television, but
Scully had no
illusions that his attention was on the screen. She wasn't sure
where that incredible mind of his was, but she doubted sincerely
it was on the Packers/Cowboys game.
Advanced pregnancy and several slices of turkey did their part,
and Scully found herself drifting in and out. She nestled back
against the sofa cushions, feeling as if her head were wrapped
in cotton wool. Scully was nearly asleep when the peace was
effectively shattered by her brother's voice.
"So, what are you planning to do about my sister?"
"What?" Mulder asked, incredulous.
"Are you going to skip out on her once this baby is born?"
"Bill..." Scully's eyes flew open, and she struggled to sit
up. "I thought we agreed that the subject was off limits."
"I don't remember agreeing to any such thing, Day. I want to
know what this guy's plans are."
"This guy's plans..." Mulder began,
sounding weary.
"Are none of your damn business," Scully finished. "I told
you,
Bill, when there is an update on my marital status, you'll be
among the first to know."
"Marital status?" Mulder
asked. "What are you talking about?"
He turned to Bill, irritation bringing color to his
face.
"Since you're so interested, my short-term plan is to help
Scully get through the next few weeks and have this baby safely.
Beyond that, I'm afraid it isn't any of your business."
Part of her wanted to cheer. Anger had finally roused Mulder
from depression, and there was actually some life in his eyes
now. So, why the hell was her stomach in a knot over her
partner's noncommittal answer. She'd have been
deeply offended
if Mulder had discussed their relationship with her
brother.
Yet the uncertainty burned, leaving her wishing for something
she was afraid to name.
"I need to walk off some of that dinner," Bill announced,
striding out of the room. The crowd at the stadium roared,
as the tide of the game began to change and
ahead in the score. Unfortunately, the tide of her life
didn't seem to be so inclined.
<><><><>
evening for this child. The baby had been practicing tumbling
runs against Scully's bladder, forcing her from the warm bed.
Mulder had mumbled in his sleep as the shift in
weight on
the bed jostled him.
It wasn't as if she'd actually been sleeping, though. She'd
lain awake, her mind unable to shut down for the
night, her
brain replaying every hard moment since the day she'd first
suspected she was pregnant. She tried to conjure up some of
the good times, to comfort herself into sleep, but the happy
memories slipped away too quickly, leaving her only the
bad images for company.
Resigning herself to a sleepless night, she rose from bed
and stood watching Mulder as their child moved within
her.
She sighed, noting how even in sleep, Mulder seemed
unsettled
these days.
Bundled in her bathrobe, she sat at the kitchen table facing a
turkey sandwich she didn't want. Her mother had pressed copious
leftovers on them, insisting Mulder would be hungry
later,
since he had hardly eaten dinner. So far, he hadn't been tempted
by anything in the refrigerator.
Tears ran down her cheeks, as she massaged her abdomen, trying
to soothe the baby. Damn hormones. She hated the out of control
waterworks she had become over the last few days. Scully dabbed
at her eyes with a napkin.
"What are you doing up?"
Mulder stood in the doorway, his hair sticking
up. Rumpled in
his white t-shirt and pajama bottoms, he scratched
his side and
yawned. Mulder shuffled to the table, sitting
next to her.
"Couldn't sleep," she said, speaking through her tears.
"The
baby's been active at night lately. Maybe she's trying to get me
used to being up 'til all hours."
Mulder smiled, reaching out to catch a tear as it
rolled down her
face. "And you're crying in anticipation?" he asked.
"I'm fine, Mulder. You don't have to stay
up with me."
"You're not fine." His voice was fierce. "I'm not
going anywhere
until you tell me what's bothering you."
"Mulder..." She shook her head,
unable to find words. After a
moment, her eyes met his. "I'm sorry," she whispered.
"I'm so
sorry."
"Scully, what are you talking about? Is this about your brother?
Don't let him bother you. He's just trying to look out for you.
I understand that."
"It's not Bill."
"Then what? Something is making you sad, and I want to know what
it is."
"Maybe you should be asking yourself the same question, Mulder.
Something has been weighing on you. I guess that's what I'm so
sorry about."
"I don't understand," he said, obviously confused.
"I'm sorry this pregnancy got in the way of your search, Mulder.
I know you've been hurting. If staying with me is going to make
you feel as if you've betrayed your sister..." A small sob
escaped her. Scully shook her head sadly. "I'd hate for you to
come to resent us, to hate me for tying you down."
"No," he said, taking her hands in his. "That would never
happen. Scully, I haven't given up on my sister. Some day, I
*will* find out what happened to her. But somewhere along the
way, I realized something. I could spend my life searching for
one missing little girl and let my own daughter's life pass me by.
You know, if Samantha were here, she'd kick my ass for that."
He chuckled and reached out to caress her cheek. She found
herself laughing through her tears. "But, you've been so
sad lately. And it all began the night we talked to that
man."
His hand dropped to the table, tightening into a fist.
Mulder looked away. "I'd deluded myself,
half-convinced that
I could keep you safe, that I wasn't a danger to you. Talking
to Deep Throat showed me how incredibly stupid I'd been. For
years, I'd been nothing but a pawn in someone's game. I can't
get free and I can't keep the people I love safe."
She took his fist in her hand, opening his fingers as she brought
them to her lips.
"No matter how hard I tried to rationalize it away, Scully, your
abduction and everything they did to you was because of me. I'm
a danger to anyone I care about. I'm too weak to let you go even
though you'd be safer away from me."
"You're right. You are a fool," she said, rising from her
chair and coming to stand between Mulder's
legs. She put
her arms around his neck, leaning in to give him a teary
kiss. "But not for the reasons you think."
"Oh really? Care to enlighten me," he said, smiling in
earnest for the first time in a week.
"All right. Granted, I'm not exactly at top
form right now,
but I *can* take care of myself. And we'll both do our best
to keep this baby safe."
"I want to believe that, Scully," he said, burying his face
in her neck. "I love you."
"I love you too. Believe that."
<><><><>