I have put very few quotes by "unknown"
since I want to know where a quote came from. If you find a quote I have
mis-attributed, please let me know.These quotes are not necessarily profound, and are not likely to change lives in any big way. They are ones I have collected over the years though.
To my "thoughts" page (where these quotes used to be).
David "Hyphen" Jaques-Watson's quote page (click on the "Traveller & Other Tag Lines" link on the left)
What Presidents Said About the War Powers
Four Principles of Quotation by Martin Porter
I have put very few quotes by "unknown"
since I want to know where a quote came from. If you find a quote I have
mis-attributed, please let me know.
Do you have a problem? If not, a
problem can be arranged for you. - unknown
You are only as good as your last
flight. - unknown
All things that are excellent are as
difficult as they are rare. - unknown
This e-mail is intended for the use
of the individual addressee(s) named above and may contain information that is
confidential, privileged, or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low
self-esteem, no sense of humor, or irrational religious beliefs. If you are not
the intended recipient, any dissemination, distribution, or copying of this
e-mail is not authorized (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an
irritating social faux pas.Unless the word absquatulation has been used in its
correct context somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have a legal
or grammatical use and may be ignored. No animals were harmed in the
transmission of this e-mail, although the kelpie next door is living on borrowed
time, let me tell you. - unknown
Without geometry, life is pointless.
- unknown
More fun than a 40-mile hike with
full pack. - unknown
If brute force doesn't solve your
problem, youre not using enough. - unknown
Reality is where everyone's
insanities overlap. Some of us however, overlap less than others. - unknown
I'm not better, I'm just better
medicated. - unknown
Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde
Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in what oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny
iprmoetnt tihng is taht the Frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The
rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is
bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a
wlohe. Amzanig, huh? - unknown
You don't have to outrun the monsters
. . . if you can outrun your friends. - unknown
TVs in cars are for passengers,
because as we know, the drivers are too busy talking on their cell phones. -
unknown
Ever notice that the pirate's "AAIR"
when put backwards is "RIAA"? So if you had a backwards pirate, they
would board the ship shouting "RIAA" and everyone would erase their
hard drives instead of surrendering. - unknown
Why do they lock gas station
bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? - Unknown
A warrior does not give up on what he
loves, he finds the love in what he is doing. - unknown
Never attribute to malice that which
can be adequately explained by stupidity. - Occam's Razor
You never see a pro-nuclear vampire.
- Helix
No one ever suspects the werewolf of
being the vampire. - Helix
Dogs have owners, cats have staff. -
Gregg Videll
Feed an opportunity, starve a
problem. - Peter F. Drucker
When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade
is not your friend. - Tod L. Glenn
The wierd, the bizzare, the help
desk. - Joseph Kimball
Windows is not a virus. A virus
actually does something, and generally gets better technical support. - Terry
Austin
Oak trees are nuts who stood their
ground. - Beth Bruner
I tried to get a rectangular bear for
months. Ended up I had to get a polar bear and use trig... - Akchizar
Never raise your fist in anger. It
leaves your groin unprotected. - Tod L Glenn
Air conditioning had a fundamental
impact on the country, contributing along with the civil rights movement...If I
had to make an estimate, it's about 50-50 in terms of the importance of the two
of them. - Richard Nathan, Director of the Rockefeller Institute of Government
at the State University of New York
Treat your customer as if the future
of your company and your employment rests upon your ability to satisfy your
customer on the transaction being performed right now. - Neal Whitten
What's your obligation to keep the
future alive? - C.K. Prahalad
When God invented computers, the
Devil invented printers. - Anders Jacobsen
Contrary to popular belief, UNIX is
user friendly. It just happens to be selective about whom it makes friends
with. - Robert Uhl
Half a nice day! - Kevin Pease
Don't die for your country. Make the
other guy die for his. - General Patton (sanitized version of the quote)
If the only tool you have is a
hammer, all problems look like nails. - Abraham Maslow
When the winds of change blow hard
enough, the most trivial of things can turn into deadly projectiles. -
www.despair.com
…religion is essentially a
subjective experience that is supported by rational evidence…God is beyond
proof to a religious person. - Kevin Miller
(from an 80+ page
thesis paper)
Science has sometimes been said to be
opposed to faith, and inconsistent with it. But all science, in fact, rests on
a basis of faith, for it assumes the permanence and uniformity of natural laws -
a thing which can never be demonstrated. - Tyron Edwards
I won't insult your intelligence by
suggesting that you really believe what you just said. - William F. Buckley,
Jr.
If your franchise is not secured by
force of personal arms, you are a subject, not a citizen. - H. Beam Piper
Scientific terms explained #1 "A
long established fact" = "I forgot to look up the reference."
- Andrew Moffatt-Vallance
I file things in historical order,
with a hashing algorithm of gravity. - David "Hyphen" Jaques-Watson
Rule 1: The DM is always right.
Rule 2: If you disagree with any decision, explain why in a calm and rational
manner. The DM may change a decision in light of your comments. Rule 3: If
the DM does not change a ruling and you don't like it, see Rule 1. - Jason
Barnabas
If a sufficient number of management
layers are superimposed on top of each other, it can be assured that disaster is
not left to chance. - Norman Augustine
Underpromise, overdeliver. -
Jennifer Newton
Map out your future, but do it in
pencil. - Jon Bon Jovi
When once you have tasted flight, you
will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have
been, and there you will always long to return. - Leonardo da Vinci
If power corrupts, being out of power
corrupts absolutely. - Douglass Cater
For all their high handed talk about
learning the lessons of history, the only thing that has come through is that
most people take realy bad notes. - SGTGoody for on
www.battlefront.com general message
forum
I just couldn't deal with the
K'Kree... perhaps because "Vegetarian" is an ancient Aslan word for "Lousy
Hunter." -
Derek
Men's underwear. See, there are
basically two types. Boxers and briefs (otherwise known as whitey-tighties).
Now, boxers come in all different designs and patterns and different materials
like cotton and silk. A man can still be a man and wear silk boxers. Men can't
wear silk whitey-tighties, 'cause then they'd be panties. -
Torg
If you don't listen when your child
tells you unimportant things, don't expect them to tell you important things. -
Dr. Phil
If you think the OPFOR cheats just
wait till you meet the real bad guys. - James Goodman
...like using dynamite to open an
unlocked door. - Kepa Zubeldia
Love is not enough. It must be the
foundation, the cornerstone - but not the complete structure. It is much to
pliable, too yielding. - Bette Davis
The relevant equation is: knowledge =
power = energy = matter = mass; a good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole
that knows how to read. - Pratchett
The next generation of RPGs will not
be meant to be played, but merely to be bickered over endlessly. - Kevin
Mowery
Computers make it easier to do a lot
of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be
done. - Andy Rooney
Many times the difference between
failure and success is doing something nearly right ... or doing it exactly
right. - Edward Simmons
Innocence seldom utters outraged
shrieks. Guilt does. - Whittaker Chambers
A Prince when among Lions must be the
fox; When among foxes, he must be the Lion. - Niccolo Machiavelli
Nothing of great value in this life
comes easily. - Norman Vincent Peale
Man is only truly great when he acts
from his passions. - Benjamin Disraeli
I have learned from experience that
the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not
on our circumstances. - Martha Washington
When I have fully decided that a
result is worth getting, I go ahead and make trial after trial until it comes.
- Thomas Edison
A hero is no braver than an ordinary
man, but he is braver five minutes longer. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
The great tragedy of science - the
slaying of a beautiful hypothesis by an ugly fact. - Thomas H. Huxley
He's a god. It'll take more than one
shot. - Lady Eboshi, Princess Mononoki
Sometimes you have to make do.
You'll just have to wear your puffy underpants. - Rebecca Hoff 3/2/03
Conspiracy theories are nothing more
than a conspiracy to get people to believe in conspiracies so that they can
really conspire to do something. - Fabian
Were we directed from Washington when
to sow, and when to reap, we should soon want bread. - Thomas Jefferson
We must look forward, ever focused on
our goal. But sometimes, we must stop and look back, to see how far we've come.
- Terry Moore
If our own memory convicts us after
we die, can I plead the 5th now, because I can't remember anything? - Craig
Bedford
"C:\ COFFEE.COM NOT FOUND.
REBOOT USER Y/N?" This is called catastrophic system , or "the brown
java screen of death." System will now go irretrievably into snooze mode
and will require a cold boot adding coffee.com to the .ini file to restart. This
is a very dangerous error and must be handled gently and correctly... - Mike
Kerns
Search and Destroy without the Search
is just target practice... - jawillroy@yahoo.com
How does a project get to be a year
behind schedule? One day at a time. - Fred Brooks, System/360 Chief Designer,
IBM
I saw a subliminal advertising
xecutive. But only for a second. - Stephen Wright
Science would be cool if it weren't
for all the stupid facts. - Walkerton
You are the winner of a ten million
dollar check...drawn on your own bank account! - Craig Bedford
God is God and I am not. I can only
see a part of the picture He's painting. - Steven Curtis Chapman
To recognize that everything is
surprising is the first step toward recognizing that everything is a gift. -
Steindl-Rast
A little science estranges a man from
God. A lot of science brings him back. - Sir Francis Bacon
Black as the devil, Hot as hell, Pure
as an angel, Sweet as love. - Charles Maurice de Talleyrand-Perigord; recipe
for coffee
Reading maketh a full man; conference
a ready man; and writing an exact man. - Bacon
CALIFORNIA, a large country of the
West Indies... It is uncertain whether it be a peninsula or an island. -
Encyclopaedia Britannica, 1st Edition (1771)
Without a monster or two, it's hardly
a quest, merely a gaggle of friends wandering around. - Owl (from Winne the
Pooh)
Avoid small projects, they leave no
mark on people's memories. - Daniel Burnham, San Francisco City Planner, 1907
Some people have told me they don't
think a fat penguin really embodies the grace of Linux, which just tells me they
have never seen an angry penguin charging at them in excess of 100 mph. They'd
be a lot more careful about what they say if they had. - Linus Torvalds
I was not trying to be shocking, or
to be a pioneer. I wasn't trying to change society, or to be ahead of my time.
I didn't think of myself as liberated, and I don't believe that I did anything
important. I was just myself. I didn't know any other way to be, or any other
way to live. - Bettie Page
`Umm... Excuse me. I think the
network's down?' `A communications disruption can only mean one
thing...invasion.' - Lee Maguire, teaching us how to make people go away
Institutions do not have opinions,
merely customs. - Bruce Johnson
We English-speaking peoples should
keep hold of the essential fact about foreign languages: They exist to make us
laugh. - John Derbyshire
I've heard this 'government which
governs least governs best' argument before, and while it has a certain quirky
logic to it, the part of me that abhors waste wonders why we can't just have a
government that does what it's supposed to, rather than one which attains
inoffensiveness through inefficiency. - Kelly St.Clair, of the Traveller
Mailing List
The 1930's taught us a clear lesson:
aggressive conduct, if allowed to go unchecked and unchallenged, ultimately
leads to war. Our policy has been one of patience and restraint, but now
further action is required - and it is under way; and these actions may only be
the beginning... But the greatest danger of all would be to do nothing. -
President John F. Kennedy
Listen, I have enough trouble living
up to my own standards -- don't ask me to live up to yours! - Jim Mccarthy (in:
A Day For Damnation by David Gerrold)
My definition of a free society is a
society where it is safe to be unpopular. - Adlai E. Stevenson Jr.
I live in my own little world, but
it's OK. They know me here. - Tod Glenn
If you watch television news you know
less about the world than if you sat at home and drank gin from a bottle. -
Garrison Keillor
Business is a way to cooperate to
create value that no one of us can [create] alone. - R. Edward Freeman
People are basically honest. And
they're even more honest when you watch them. - Alan C. "Ace"
Greenberg
The only good pun is a bad pun. -
Derek Smith
The Law of Conservation of Misery: no
matter what course of action is taken, the total human misery in any given
situation is maintained. - Bob Belleville
Cannibalism : A diet method based on
homeopathic principles. - Miles Kinton, The Independant
Every great man is unique. - Ralph
Waldo Emerson
When the going gets weird, the weird
turn pro.... - Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
The only man who behaved sensibly was
my tailor; he took my measurement anew every time he saw me, while all the rest
went on with their old measurements and expected them to fit me. - George
Bernard Shaw
He that is overcautious will
accomplish little. - J.C.F. von Schiller
Question of the day: Do you have the
show trial before or after the burning of a heretic? Answer: After (if you do
it before, there is the possibility they might be found innocent). - Joseph
Kimball
Leadership isn't getting someone to
do what you want; leadership is the art of getting people to do what you want
done because they want to do it. - paraphrased from President Eisenhower
Share your knowledge. It is a way to
achieve immortality. - The Dalai Lama
It is the mark of an intelligent mind
to be able to entertain an idea without necesarily accepting it. - Aristotle
Nostalgia is just your inner child
telling you he wants his stuff back. - Daniel Tackett
Those who follow their conscience are
of my religion, and I am of the religion of those who are brave and good. -
Henri IV of France (1553-1610)
We are flame retardant to each others
flames of love. - Talmage Cleverly
Don't fork the dog. - Talmage
Cleverly
Never play Russian Roulette with a
clip-fed handgun. - Talmage Cleverly
Kovac's Conundrum: When you dial a
wrong number, you never get a busy signal. - Kovac
Teach and live the first principles
of the Gospel, and let the mysteries of Heaven wait until you get to Heaven. -
Heber J. Grant
It's our job to worry before the
users even know there is a reason to worry. - Talmage Cleverly
I like to fail because I learn so
much. - Scott Nelson
Extraordinary claims require
extraordinary evidence. - Carl Sagan
Living a reasonable life is the
lowest level at which you can live life. - Nancy Elder
There is no possibility for living a
life of excellence without an unreasonable commitment to your word. - Nancy
Elder
Be informed by the way someone else
is, but don't compare yourself to them. - Nancy Elder
When a distinguished but elderly
scientist states that something is possible he is almost certainly right.
When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong. -
Clarke's First Law
The only way of discovering the
limits of the possible is to venture a little way past them into the
impossible. - Clarke's Second Law
Any sufficiently advanced technology
is indistinguishable from magic. - Clarke's Third Law
Have you ever fought an idea, Picard?
It has no weapons to destroy, no body to kill! - Gowron, Klingon Chancellor
One of these days is none of these
days. - H.G. Bohn
I don't drink these days. I am
allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.
All computing devices will
communicate, and all communication devices will compute. - Anand Chandrasekher
(prediction made 23 Feb 2004 issue of InformationWeek)
Visibility without action is
voyeurism. - Bruce Hudson (23 Feb 2004 issue of InformationWeek)
Meddle Detector: how to know when to
intervene. - Carolyn Hax (extracted from her "Tell Me About It" column
in the 8 Mar 2004 issue of the Salt Lake Tribune)
...if you believe in it, it is a
religion or perhaps 'the' religion; and if you do not care one way or another
about it, it is a sect; but if you fear and hate it, it is a cult. - Leo Pfeffer
The trouble with most folks isn't so
much their ignorance. It's know'n so many things that ain't so. - Josh Billings
(19th century humorist)
How to sell a product. -
Robin
'Roblimo' Miller
"...Peace, Eustace. Do not
scold, like a kitchen-girl. No warrior scolds. Either courteous words or else
hard knocks are his only language. - Tirian, last king of Narnia to Eustace
Scrubb in The Last Battle
If there are no stupid questions,
then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in
time to ask questions? - Scott Adam
Ok, we've panicked, yelled, held a
meeting, and fixed the blame. I guess the only thing left is to find out what
the problem is. - Sam
Failure is not an option. It comes
bundled with your Microsoft product. - David J. Golden
On the whole, people want to be good
but not too good and not quite all the time. - George Orwell
There is something fascinating about
science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling
investment of fact. - Mark Twain
Research is what I'm doing when I
don't know what I'm doing. - Werner von Braun
People who deal with bits should
expect to get bitten. - Jon Bentley
If no one was sued, it didn't happen.
- Scott Nelson
There is as much opportunity in
change as there is danger.. - Earl Nightingale
Most guys in my shop class think
using the drill press is exciting. To me, it's just boring. - Andy Krakowski,
from Ruminations, copyright by Chris White
Change destroys who you are not, so a
new level of who you are can emerge. - Peter Rengel
One of these days is none of these
days. - H.G. Bohn
Never let yesterday use up today. -
Richard H. Nelson
Rome did not create a great empire by
having meetings, they did it by killing all those who opposed them. - David J.
Golden
It is not the pursuit of happiness
but the happiness of pursuit that yields the most gratification. - Ashley
Montagu
The hatred you're carrying is a live
coal in your heart - far more damaging to yourself than to them. - Lawana
Blackwell
Our feelings are our most genuine
paths to knowledge. - Audre Lorde
Only in growth, reform, and change,
paradoxically enough, is true security to be found. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh
Happiness is that state of
consciousness which proceeds from the achievement of one's values. - Ayn Rand
We are all faced with a series of
great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems. - John William
Gardner
I have learned from experience that
the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not
on our circumstances. - Martha Washington
Man is only truly great when he acts
from his passions. - Benjamin Disraeli
You can't build a reputation on what
you are going to do. - Henry Ford
Hold yourself responsible for a
higher standard than anybody expects of you. - Henry Ward Beecher
Some people are more talented than
others. Some are more educationally privileged than others. But we all have
the capacity to be great. Greatness comes with recognizing that your potential
is limited only by how you choose, how you use your freedom, how resolute you
are - in short, by your attitude. And we are all free to choose our attitude. -
Peter Koestenbaum
Who bravely dares must sometimes risk
a fall. - Tobias George Smollet
The hardest challenge is to be
yourself in a world where everyone is trying to make you be somebody else. - e.
e. cummings
Anger, if not restrained, is
frequently more hurtful to us than the injury that provokes it. - Seneca
The keen spirit seizes the prompt
occasion, makes the thought, starts into instant action, and at once plans and
performs, resolves and executes! - Hannah More
There is nothing noble about being
superior to other men. The true nobility is in being superior to your previous
self. - Hindu Proverb
Hard by the yard, cinch by the inch.
- Carvel Whiting
I've never learned anything while I
was talking. - Larry King
The longer I live, the more I realize
the inpact of attitude on life. It is more important than appearance,
giftedness, or skill. The remarkable thing is that we have a choice every day
of our lives regarding the attitude we embrace for that day. We cannot change
our past. We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We
cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one
string we have, and that is attitude. I'm convinced that life is 10% what
happens to me and 90% how I react to it. We are in charge of our attitudes.. -
Charles Swindoll
What we do not see, what most of us
never suspect of existing, is the silent but irresistible power which comes to
the rescue of those who fight on in the face of discouragement. - Napoleon Hill
If you can't be a good example, then
you'll just have to be a horrible warning. - Catherine Aird
The best things in life are yours, if
you can appreciate yourself. - Dale Carnegie
One often learns more from ten days
of agony than from ten years of contentment. - Merle Shain
You set high standards for yourself
and others. Careful, this isn't about achieving "perfection."
Rather, on the path of growth, you simply have the desire to reach more and more
of your potential. You no longer settle for less than your best effort. And,
as you see more of the potential in others, you encourage them to develop their
talents as well.. - Jeff Keller
Try not to be come a man of success
but rather try to become a man of value. - Albert Einstein
All of us attain the greatest success
and happines possible whenever we use our native capacities to their greatest
extent. - Smiley Blanton
If you rest, you rust. - Helen Hayes
Do not wait for extraordinary
circumstances to do good actions; try to use ordinary situations. - Jean Paul
Richter
When you're through changing, you're
through. - Bruce Barton
Be patient with everyone, but above
all with yourself. - Saint Francis de Sales
Brains, like hearts, go where they
are appreciated. - Robert S. McNamara
To avoid criticism do nothing, say
nothing, be nothing. - Elbert Hubbard
In prosperity our friends know us; in
adversity we know our friends. - John Churton Collins
The world is a looking glass, and
gives back to every man the reflection of his own face. - William Thackeray
We can never succeed until we believe
we'll succeed. - Keith DeGreen
Don't set compensation as a goal.
Find work you like, and the compensation will follow. - Harding Lawrence
He who cannot change the very fabric
of his thought will never be able to change reality, and will never, therefore,
make any progress. - Anwar Sadat
It's not what we get done, but HOW we
get it done. - Everitt Goodwin
Challenges make you discover things
about yourself that you never really knew. They're what make the instrument
stretch - what make you go beyond the norm - Cicely Tyson
Each of us is meant to have a
character all our own, to be what no other can exactly be, and do what no other
can exactly do. - William Ellery Channing
I have always grown from my problems
and challenges. From the things that don't work out, that's when I've really
learned. - Carol Burnett
A man would do nothing if he waited
until he could do it so well that no one would find fault with what he had done.
- John Henry Cardinal Newman
The secret of happiness is to count
your blessings while others are adding up their troubles. - William Penn
The deepest principle in human nature
is the craving to be appreciated. - William James
Ultimately we know deeply that the
other side of every fear is a freedom. - Marilyn Ferguson
Improvement always means change. -
Carvel Whiting
If you find a path with no obstacles,
it probably doesn't lead anywhere. - Frank A. Clark
The greatest discovery of my
generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their
attitudes of mind. - William James
Kind words do not cost much - yet
they acomplish much. - Blaise Pascal
The greatest power that a person
possesses it the power to choose. - J. Martin Kohe
Focus on where you want to go, not on
what you fear. - Anthony Robbins
The most wasted of all days is one
without laughter. - e. e. cummings
Don't judge each day by the harvest
you reap, but by the seeds you plant. - Robert Louis Stevenson
Those who are at war with others are
not at peace with themselves. - William Hazlitt
Life shrinks or expands in proportion
to one's courage. - Anais Nin
A wise man changes his mind, a fool
never. - Spanish Proverb
The most likely way for the world to
be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in;
we're computer professionals. We cause accidents. - Nathaniel Borenstein
Not everything that can be counted
counts, and not everything that counts can be counted. - Albert Einstein
Everything without tells the
individual that he is nothing; everything within persuades him that he is
everything. - Doudan
When one person hesitates because he
feels inferior, the other is busy making mistakes and becoming superior. - Henry
C. Link
Out of every crisis comes the chance
to be reborn. - Nema O'Neill
We forfeit three-fourths of ourselves
to be like other people. - Arthur Schopenhauer
Ya can't please everyone, so you got
to please yourself. - Rick Nelson
When a decision has to be made, make
it. There is no totally right time for anything. - George Patton
Be happy with what you have, and
better things will come along. - John Wanamaker
The fellow who never makes a mistake
takes his orders from one who does. - Herbert V. Prochnow
Every man is valued in this world as
he shows by his conduct that he wishes to be valued. - Bruyer
He has not learned the lesson of life
who does not every day surmount a fear. - Julius Caesar
Conceived by genius, achieved by
dauntless resolution, with unconquerable faith. - Carvel Whiting (in reference
to Orville and Wilbur Wright)
Live out of your imagination, not
your history. - Stephen Covey
If people knew how hard I worked at
my art, they would not consider me a genius. - Michelangelo
The only way to get the best of an
argument is to avoid it. - Dale Carnegie
I count him braver who overcomes his
desires than he who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is the victory
over self. - Aristotle
Better to do nothing imperfectly than
to do something flawlessly. - Robert Schuller
Blessed are those who can give
without remembering and take without forgetting. - Elizabeth Bibesco
I'm optimistic because it creates
possibilities. - Tommie Lee Jones
If you accept others expectations of
you, especially the negative ones, you will never change the outcome. - Michael
Jordan
Restlessness and discontent are the
first necessities of progress. - Thomas A. Edison
Go to bed. Whatever you are staying
up late for isn't worth it. - Andrew A. Rooney
When you want to test the depth of a
stream, don't use both feet. - Chinese Proverb
People seldom become famous for what
they say until after they are famous for what they have done. - Cullen Hightower
It is always helpful to learn from
your mistakes because then your mistakes seem worthwhile. - Gary Marshall
When patterns are broken, new worlds
emerge. - Tuli Kupferberg
You only get to keep what you give
away. - Sheldon Kopp
Energy and persistence conquer all
things. - Benjamin Franklin
Dream as if you'll live forever.
Live as if you'll die today. - James Dean
If you can dream it, you can do it. -
Walt Disney
You cannot do a kindness too soon,
for you never know how soon it will be too late. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
The only disability in life is a bad
attitude. - Scott Hamilton
Life isn't about finding yourself.
Life is about creating yourself. - George Bernard Shaw
Patience, persistence, and
perspiration make an unbeatable combination for success. - Napolean Hill
Vision without action is a daydream.
Action without vision is a nightmare. - Japanese Proverb
Happiness is not having what you
want, but wanting what you have. - Rabbi H. Schachtel
We all get heavier as we get older
because there's a lot more information in our heads. - Vlade Divac
If there is hope in the future, there
is power in the present. - John Maxwell
The trouble with being punctual is
that nobody's there to appreciate it. - Franklin P. Jones
What kind of leader would I be if my
lies and deceit didn't create extravagant and unnecessary consequences for my
staff? - Mike
Poppycock
Anyone who cannot cope with
mathematics is not fully human. At best he is a tolerable subhuman who has
learned to wear shoes, bathe and not make messes in the house. - Robert Heinlein
(writing as Lazarus Long)
If you look like your passport photo,
you're too ill to travel. - Will Kommen
You cannot solve a problem by
condemning it. - Wayne W. Dyer
Do not let what you cannot do
interfere with what you can do. - John Wooden
Art is never finished, only
abandoned. - Leonardo da Vinci
Do not wait for ideal circumstances
nor the best opportunities; they will never come. - Janet Erskine Stuart
This is a problem in astronomy. Most
of the universe is far away. - Harley Thronson
Genius is nothing but a greater
aptitude for patience. - Benjamin Franklin
The first recipe for happiness is:
Avoid too lengthy meditations on the past. - Andre Maurois
Reality is that which, when you stop
believing in it, doesn't go away. - Philip K. Dick
For any statement, no matter how
innocuous, there exists a nonempty set of people who will take offense at it. -
Jon F. Zeigler
The secret to creativity is knowing
how to hide your sources. - Albert Einstein
You can safely assume that you've
created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same
people you do. - Anne Lamott
If a problem looks simple, then
you're probably too far away. - Steven Hudson
...quemadmodum gladius neminem
occidit, occidentis telum est. [...a sword never kills anybody; it's a tool in
the killer's hand.]. - (Lucius Annaeus) Seneca the Younger (ca. 4 BC-AD 65)
Science has sometimes been said to be
opposed to faith, and inconsistent with it. But all science, in fact, rests on
a basis of faith, for it assumes the permanence and uniformity of natural
laws--a thing which can never be demonstrated. - Tyron Edwards
I won't insult your intelligence by
suggesting that you really believe what you just said. - William F. Buckley, Jr.
If your franchise is not secured by
force of personal arms, you are a subject, not a citizen. - H. Beam Piper
It is by caffeine alone that I set my
mind in motion, By the beans of Java, my thoughts acquire speed, The hands
acquire the shakes, the shakes become a warning, It is by caffeine alone that I
set my mind in motion. - Robert Rumpf (parodying a scene from DUNE, by Frank
Herbert)
Will econ forecast for food. - Cheng
Tseng
Cooking is great - it's a socially
acceptable excuse to play with knives and fire. - Robert Uhl
The illustration in GT:GF of the drop
pod that has landed on an enemy command post is priceless. One of the troopers
coming out of the pod appears to be looking around, I can just imagine his
conversation with the commander still in orbit. "Eagle-6, this is Eagle
4-2. We are down, I say again, we are down. We are right on the mark, but I do
not see the objective. I say again, the objective is not in my view. Over"
"4-2, this is Eagle 6 Actual. Breaker take your eyes, boy. We show you
exactly on the drop coordinates. They see you, they've cut off all
transmissions. Find it! Over." "Wilco, 6. Stand by.. Stand by...
(laughter) Eagle-6, We have reached our objective and destroyed it, Roger?
Over." "4-2, how in the hell do you go from not knowing where your
target is to locating and destroying it in under five seconds? Over." "6,
we landed on the poor bastards, Sir! This CP is completely crushed, I count
five, I say again five bodies. Eagle 4-2 is moving on to secondary objective.
Over." "Umm.. Good work, I suppose. Head to secondary. Eagle-6
Actual out." - Douglas E. Berry
Embrace Fascism. The uniforms look
cool. - Douglas E. Berry
According to the National Crime
Survey administered by the Bureau of the Census and the National Institute of
Justice, it was found that only 12 percent of those who use a gun to resist
assault are injured, as are 17 percent of those who use a gun to resist robbery.
These percentages are 27 and 25 percent, respectively, if they passively comply
with the felon's demands. Three times as many were injured if they used other
means of resistance. - G. Kleck, Policy Lessons from Recent Gun Control Research
Only you believe you can write. If
you quit, you just make it unanimous. - Manly Wade Wellman
Never trust a computer you can't
throw out a window. - Steve Wozniak
A lady came up to me on the street
and pointed at my suede jacket. `You know a cow was murdered for that jacket?'
she sneered. I replied in a psychotic tone, `I didn't know there were any
witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too.' - Jake Johansen
Great spirits have often encountered
violent opposition from weak minds. - Albert Einstein
Physical concepts are free creations
of the human mind, and are not, however it may seem, uniquely determined by the
external world. - Albert Einstein
My brother used to say the reason he
talked to himself was to guarantee both an interesting speaker and an
intelligent, well-informed audience. - Loren K. Wiseman
Every man has a right to his opinion,
but no man has a right to be wrong in his facts. - Bernard M. Baruch
If at first the idea is not absurd,
then there is no hope for it. - Albert Einstein
Remember: Dogs have owners, cats have
staff. - Greg Videl
Men have dogs because we want buddies
that are dummer than we are! Women don't have dogs because they have men! -
Craig Bedford
And let not the wisdom of the Greeks
beguile thee, Which hath not fruit, but only flowers. - Judah Halevi (1075-11??)
The sun operates by fusion. Nuclear
power is whats behind solar power. Of course! It all makes sense now!
Vampires! Have you noticed you never see a pro-nuclear vampire? -
Helix
Y'all do know that MARINE stands for "Moves
Around In Navy Equipment", right? - Virgil Buttram
We're standing there pounding a dead
parrot on the counter, and the management response is to frantically swap in new
counters to see if that fixes the problem. - Peter Gutmann
Feed an opportunity. Starve a
problem. - Peter F. Drucker
If a sufficient number of management
layers are superimposed on top of each other, it can be assured that disaster is
not left to chance. - Norman Augustine (1935-), US author, business executive
I have a stepladder. It's a very
nice stepladder, but it's sad I never knew my real ladder. - Craig Charles
Whoever said money can't buy friends
obviously never brought doughnuts to work. - From Ruminations, copyright by
Chris White
When God invented computers, the
Devil invented printers. - Anders Jacobsen
I tried to get a rectangular bear for
months. Ended up I had to get a polar bear and use trig. - Akchizar
Treat your customer as if the future
of your company and your employment rests upon your ability to satisfy your
customer on the transaction being performed right now. - Neal Whitten
If a problem looks simple, then
you're probably too far away. - Steven Hudson
Warm drift, graze gentle, White below
the sky, Soft sheep, mirrors, Snow clouds. - I-lamb-ic Pentameter (Source)
We English-speaking peoples should
keep hold of the essential fact about foreign languages: They exist to make us
laugh. - John Derbyshire
Reading maketh a full man; conference
a ready man; and writing an exact man. - Bacon
Yeah, I remember that electric thrill
of seeing "by Loren K. Wiseman" for the first time. It's quite a
boost to the ego. Also, getting asked for an autograph, that's a unique
feeling. It seems so extraordinarily weird the first time it happens, and that
gradually changes over the next few dozen times to a nice, warm feeling inside.
The thrill never really goes away -- for me, at least. I've been to a lot of
conventions over the years, and I've seen some people who look bored by the
whole thing -- as if it were some chore their agent stuck them with, and I pity
them. I've also seen people who will write until their fingers cramp, and chat
a little with each fan while they're writing, and seem just as thrilled at the
end of three hours of autographs as at the start. - Loren K. Wiseman
If power corrupts, being out of power
corrupts absolutely. - Douglass Cater, American author and educator
The 1930's taught us a clear lesson:
aggressive conduct, if allowed to go unchecked and unchallenged, ultimately
leads to war. Our policy has been one of patience and restraint, but now
further action is required - and it is under way; and these actions may only be
the beginning... But the greatest danger of all would be to do nothing. -
President John F. Kennedy
Listen, I have enough trouble living
up to my own standards -- don't ask me to live up to yours! - Jim Mccarthy - A
Day For Damnation by David Gerrold
Conspiracy theories are nothing more
than a conspiracy to get people to believe in conspiracies so that they can
really conspire to do something. - Fabian
There might not be anything fishy
going on at all, but that's no reason to stop making perfectly good conspiracy
theories. - chongo
I received a case from our helpdesk
about a customer who didn't know how to change her screen size. The help desk
had tried to guide her but she just got lost and she wasn't pleased with the
result when they tried to fix it with our remote tool either. I called her up
and asked her to right click on her desktop and select properties on the little
box that appears. She told me that nothing appeared when she right clicked and
that the help desk had already asked her to try that. Intrigued by the
perplexity of her problem I went to her office and looked at her computer. It
was turned on which was a good start. I sat down and right clicked on the
desktop and was about to select properties when I heard her say "Oh, your
using the mouse, how interesting". What was I supposed to use!? - Karl
We don't just borrow words; on
occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them
unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary. - James D. Nicoll
Nothing ruins righteous anger quite
so fast as finding out you're the one who's wrong. - Sam
A rose by any other name would likely
be 'deadly thorn-bearing assault vegetation'. - Mark Urbin
If there weren't some bumps in the
road we'd all get sleepy and end up in the ditch. - Greg Larson
Seriously, Brody, you neet t' learn
the difference between "using people" and "networking."
People complain about not bein' able to 'break in' if you don't know anyone, but
think about it, wot are showbiz and publishing types s'posed to do? Risk
fortune and reputation on a total stranger who might be flaky or insane...or go
with a trusted friend who's reliably neurotic? - Drezzer Wolf
If you want to be respected by
others, respect yourself. - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
It takes a heap of loafing to write a
novel. - Gertrude Stein
Change is not made without
inconvenience, even from worse to better. - Richard Hooker
Success - it's a matter of having a
positive attitude and applying motivational principles on a daily basis. - Jeff
Keller
Motivation is like a fire; unless you
add fuel, it goes out. - Jeff Keller
If you want a quality, act as if you
alrready have it. - William James
Nothing of great value in this life
comes easily. - Norman Vincent Peale
Ah, the AK-47. The AK-47 of the
firearms industry. - Talmage Cleverly
You have something on your dress
code. - Travis Nicholson (to Deborah Silva after being lectured on company dress
standards)
Everyone, lets make a baby together.
- Deborah Silva (upon learning that Chrisstmas was 9 months away)
I prefere rotating the tireds every
week. - Robin Steele
Let's have a word of silence. -
Valerie
Everyone gets a walk-in closet and
calls it home. - Talmage Cleverly
If you haven't been to jail, you're
not pushing the envelope enough. - Jeff (from Texas, naturally)
If no one got sued, it didn't happen.
- Scott Nelson
Sometimes you have fun, and sometimes
the fun has you. - Schlock
Information Wants To Be Free.
Information also wants to be expensive. Information wants to be free because it
has become so cheap to distribute, copy, and recombine---too cheap to meter. It
wants to be expensive because it can be immeasurably valuable to the recipient.
That tension will not go away. It leads to endless wrenching debate about price,
copyright, 'intellectual property', the moral rightness of casual distribution,
because each round of new devices makes the tension worse, not better. - Stewart
Brand [anu.edu.au]
Rejection is the rough draft of a
success story. - Cynthia Kersey
Happiness lies in the joy of
achievement and the thrill of creative effort. - Franklin D. Roosevelt
All desires come with some form of
risk. No risk - no reward! - Dr. Robert Anthony
Ouside of a dog, a book is a man's
best friend...inside of a dog, it's too hard to read. - Groucho Marx
Is is really 'pro bono' if a lawyer
takes your case in exchange for explosives? -
Captain Hartung
In a world without walls and fences,
who needs windows and gates anyway? - sludink
The difference between a republic and
an empire is the loyalty of it's armed forces. - Julius Ceasar
From their errors and mistakes the
wise and good learn wisdom for the future. - Plutarch
It's better to be a lion for a day
than a sheep all your life. - Sister Elizabeth Kenny
Vegetables are what food eats. - Doc
Nickel
The key here, I think, is to not
think of death as an end. But, but, think of it more as a very effective way of
cutting down on your expenses. - Boris Grushenko (Woody Allen) in "Love and
Death"
I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way.
- Jessica Rabbit (Kathleen Turner) in &quuot;Who Framed Roger Rabbit"
Old age. It's the only disease, Mr.
Thompson, that you don't look forward to being cured of. - Bernstein (Everett
Sloane) in "Citizen Kane"
Gentlemen. You can't fight in here.
This is the War Room! - President Merkin Muffley (Peter Sellers) in "Dr.
Strangelove"
You know, you haven't stopped talking
since I came here? You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle. -
Groucho in "Duck Soup"
If you can't be kind, at least have
the decency to be vague. - SanDragon
The quality of the crate matters
little. Success depends upon who sits in it. - Baron Manfred von Richtofen
A life of leisure and a life of
laziness are two things. There will be sleeping enough in the grave. - Benjamin
Franklin
A man wrapped up in himself makes a
very small bundle. - Benjamin Franklin
Be at war with your vices, at peace
with your neighbors, and let every New Year find you a better man. - Benjamin
Franklin
Be civil to all; sociable to many;
familiar with few; friend to one; enemy to none. - Benjamin Franklin
Any sufficiently advanced technology
is indistinguishable from magic. - Arthur C. Clarke
Any sufficiently advanced technology
is indistinguishable from a rigged demo. - James Klass
The important thing in science is not
so much to obtain new facts as to discover new ways of thinking about them. -
Sir William Bragg
The most merciful thing in the world,
I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We
live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity,
and it was not meant that we should voyage far. The sciences, each straining in
its own direction, have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing
together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of
reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from
the revelation or flee from the deadly light into the peace and safety of a new
dark age. - H.P. Lovecraft
The only way to discover the limits
of the possible is to go beyond them into the impossible. - Arthur C. Clarke
The most beautiful thing we can
experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science. -
Albert Einstein
Technology is a way of organizing the
universe so that man doesn't have to experience it. - Max Frisch
Politicians should read science
fiction, not westerns and detective stories. - Arthur C. Clarke
If it was, it would be, as it isn't,
it ain't, that's science. - Terry McCombs
The cloning of humans is on most of
the lists of things to worry about from Science, along with behavior control,
genetic engineering, transplanted heads, computer poetry and the unrestrained
growth of plastic flowers. - Lewis Thomas
The most exciting phrase to hear in
science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I found it!)
but 'That's funny.' - Isaac Asimov
False facts are highly injurious to
the progress of science, for they often endure long; but false views, if
supported by some evidence, do little harm, for everyone takes a salutory
pleasure in proving their falseness. - Charles Darwin
The only purpose for which power can
be rightfully exercised over any member of a civilized community, against his
will, is to prevent harm to others. His own good, either physical or moral, is
not a sufficient warrant. - John Stuart Mill, On Liberty (1859)
Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised
for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live
under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's
cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but
those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do
so with the approval of their own conscience. - C. S. Lewis
What is ominous is the ease with
which some people go from saying that they don't like something to saying that
the government should forbid it. When you go down that road, don't expect
freedom to survive very long. - Thomas Sowell
And now that the legislators and
do-gooders have so futilely inflicted so many systems upon society, may they
finally end where they should have begun: May they reject all systems, and try
liberty, for liberty is an acknowledgement of faith in God and His works. -
Frederic Bastiat
This is a boat. It's got important
safety features a space ship doesn't have, like the ability to jump overboard. -
Sam
Censorship, like charity, should
begin at home; but, unlike charity, it should end there. - Clare Booth Luce
Eat, drink, and be merry, for
tomorrow we diet. - Goofy's Reflection
It is the soldier, not the reporter,
Who has given us freedom of the press. It is the soldier, not the poet, Who has
given us freedom of speech. It is the soldier, not the organizer, Who has given
us the freedom to demonstrate. It is the soldier, Who salutes the flag, Who
serves beneath the flag, And whose coffin is draped by the flag, Who allows the
protester to burn the flag. - Father Dennis Edward O'Brian, USMC (often
incorrectly attributed to Charles M. Province)
When commenting, please remember that
freedom of the press is a privilege extended to people who own a press, and who
may then in turn extend that privilege to others. - Howard Tayler
If no one thinks what you're doing is
dangerous, then you are in no position to change the world. - Bruce Sterling
(from a keynote speach at the O'Reily Emerging Technology Conference in San
Diego, 7 Mar 2006)
That which is not implied shall not
be inferred. - Barner's Corollary to Occam's Razor
Patience is a virtue. - William
Langland (in 1377)
Lack of activity destroys the good
condition of every human being, while movement and methodical physical exercise
save it and preserve it. - Plato
Geek: 1. One who has a passionate
interest that you don't share. 2. Synonym for outsider or minority. -
link
Kinky: One step further than you're
willing to go. - Mike Kerns
A man or woman's health can be judged
by which they take two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh
For God and the soldier we adore, In
time of danger, not before! The danger passed, and all things righted, God is
forgotten and the soldier slighted. - Rudyard Kipling
He who, having lost one ideal,
refuses to give his heart and soul to another and nobler, is like a man who
declines to build a house on rock because the wind and rain ruined his house on
the sand. - Constance Naden
Democracy gives every man a right to
be his own oppressor. - James Russell Lowell
It is better to suffer wrong than to
do it, and happier to be sometimes cheated than not to trust. - Samuel Johnson
Never confuse a single defeat with a
final defeat. - Scott Fitzgerald
To carry a grudge is like being stung
to death by one bee. - William H. Walton
I'm a slow walker but I never walk
back. - Abraham Lincoln
The time is always right to do what
is right. - Martin Luther King, Jr.
Courage is never letting your actions
be influenced by your fears. - Arthur Koestler
Tomorrow, today, and yesterday are
all good at sharing but yesterday always ends up with the hand-me-downs from the
other two days. - Talmage Cleverly
The truth shall set you
free...especially when you're talking to your boss!. - Randy Glasbergen
If you want to get someting
done...start. - Victor Scrivani
Email: the place where knowledge goes
to die. - Steve Riley
Meditation can bring you peace and
serenity. It also gives you an excuse to look busy doing nothing. - Randy
Glasbergen
An individual who breaks a law that
conscience tells him is unjust, and who willingly accepts the penalty of
imprisonment in order to arouse the conscience of the community over its
injustice, is in reality expressing the highest respect for the law. - Martin
Luther King Jr.
In the End, we will remember not the
words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. - Martin Luther King Jr.
I have learned over the years that
when one's mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does
away with fear. - Rosa Parks
Rarely do we find men who willingly
engage in hard, solid thinking. There is an almost universal quest for easy
answers and half-baked solutions. Nothing pains some people more than having to
think. - Martin Luther King Jr.
What difference does it make to the
dead, the orphans and the homeless, whether the mad destruction is wrought under
the name of totalitarianism or the holy name of liberty or democracy? - Mahatma
Gandhi
Property is intended to serve life,
and no matter how much we surround it with rights and respect, it has no
personal being. It is part of the earth man walks on. It is not man. - Martin
Luther King Jr.
I believe in equality for everyone,
except reporters and photographers. - Mahatma Gandhi
A person in uniform is merely an
extension of another person's will. - Philip Slater
Success is where preparation and
opportunity meet. Failure is where they meet, but can't stand each other. -
Randy Glasbergen
Ask a Soviet engineer to design a
pair of shoes and he'll come up with something that looks like the boxes that
the shoes came in; ask him to make something that will massacre Germans, and he
turns into Thomas Edison. - Neal Stephenson
You know you're a boring speaker when
you fall asleep during your own presentation. - Matt Oldroyd
Plans are useless, but planning is
indispensible. - Dwight Eisenhower
There are no masses, there are only
ways of seeing people as masses. - Raymond Williams
When you know what's going to happen,
that's not an experiment. That's a demonstration. An EXPERIMENT is when you
don't know what'll happen and you're trying to find out. - Dr George Fishbeck,
1970s celebrity TV weatherman and science lecturer
Fairy tales do not tell children the
dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell
children the dragons can be killed. - G. K. Chesterton
The spinach / illness outbreak has
been traced to a company called "Natural Selection". I bet their
mission statement reads "Use Darwinian techniques to create a breed of E.
coli-resistant homo sapiens. - Defective Yeti
A business that makes nothing but
money is a poor kind of business. - Henry Ford
Happy Hallowe'en. May your sleep be
long, uninterrupted, and dreamless… like death, only shorter. - Howard
Tayler
I had the Wicked Witch of the West as
a piano teacher, so I never learned how to play. - Bob Blakley (Information
Week, 3 Apr 2006, p13)
Officers Candidate School could also
be called "kaptaingarten". - Joseph Kimball
The 3 most dangerous words in the
English language: "I've been thinking..." Disaster inevitably
follows. - Mike Kerns
Action is the foundational key to all
success. - Pablo Picasso
I had the right to remain silent but
not the ability. - Ron White
In these days, a man who says a thing
cannot be done is quite apt to be interrupted by some idiot doing it. - Elbert
Hubbard
Understanding the scope of the
problem is the first step on the path to true panic. -
Florence Ambrose
When a person can no longer laugh at
himself, it is time for others to laugh at him. - Thomas Szasz (in: The Second
Sin)
Vision without action is merely a
dream. Action without vision just passes the time. Vision with action can
change the world. - Joel Arthur Barker
You get compensated for what you do
in the world. - Russell Clegg
Few people realize that they are
looking at the world of their own thoughts and the world of their own feelings.
- Wallace Stevens
We don't see things as they are; we
see them as we are. - Anais Nin
I never just derail a train of
though. I make wrecks that catch the cars on fire. -
Sam
It takes a lot of work to keep the
machinery of civilization going. It's funny. People are taught all about
ecology and the rain forest, yet almost nothing about the infrastructures that
actually keep them alive. -
Florence
Nothing stops the creative flow and
obstructs the only path to learning to create - repeated trial and error - like
being wedded to doing it perfectly, trying to get it right the first or second
or even tenth or twentieth time. And nothing frees up the flow, opens the door
to the learning that can come only with repeated experience, like lowering your
standards, giving yourself permission to write the worst possible drivel that
has ever hit the page. - Oriah Mountain Dreamer
I realize now that to believe in
pluralism means I need the courage to act on it. Action is what separates a
belief from an opinion. Beliefs are imprinted through actions. - Eboo Patel
As sung by the An Tir Drunken Squires Chorale
(to the tune of "Do, A Deer; a Female Deer" from the "Sound of Music")
Dos; a Beer, a Mexican Beer
Ray; the Guy that brings me Beer;
Me; the Guy He brings Beer For;
Far; A Long-Long Way for Beer!
So; I think I'll have a Beer;
La; La-la-la-la-la-laaaah;
Tea; No-thanks, I'll have a Beer;
And it brings us back to;
Dos-Ray-Me-Far.....
Dos, a Beer, a Mexican Beer....
(continued until one of the wives or girlfriends in camp objects. This is usually the object of some considerable wagering...)
Pirate's Alphabet
A- A Beer.
B- Beer.
C- I C Beer!
D- Das Bier, German for Beer!
E- 'E needs a Beer!
F- Ffing right he does!
G- Gee I need a beer!
H- H n everyone of us needs a beer!
I- I need a Beer!
J- The lad who pours our beer!
K- Jay's Wife!
L- SHHHH-not in front of the under 18 crowd!
M- MMMM I likes Beer!
N- NNNNNNNo beer here.
O- O I could use a Beer!
P- Self explanatory!
Q- French for getting in line for Beer!
R- A Pirate's favorite word!
S- What you fall on when you had too many Beers!
T- How you colonial's defeated the English!
U- U need a beer!
V- Vee all need a Beer!
W- (done visually as two U's) - U & U need a Beer!
X- Jay's former wife!
Y- Y? You have to ask Jay!
Z- Zee Beer, French for Beer!
*authors include Sean McFie, Viscountess Susanna Eisenrose, Viscount Sir Kaus, and her grace Duchess Ilissa von Ahrtal, SCA.
- Liam Devlin,TNE-Heretic in Chief, Acolyte of the Fortress of T20 evil
There might not be anything fishy going on at all, but that's no reason to stop making perfectly good conspiracy theories. - chongo
The fish trusts the water, and it is in the water that the fish is boiled. - Haitian Proverb
I knew you could never trust water, that backstabbing essential resource! - Talmage Cleverly
And why is there only ONE oxygen molecule but TWO hydrogen? Coincidence? I think not. Roaming packs of rogue oxygen molecules abandoned, disillusioned, disaffected. Dangerous. Very dangerous.... - Mike Kerns
That would help explain oxygen's explosive nature. All those pent up emotions just waiting to flair up... - Talmage Cleverly
C Code.
C Code Run.
Run, Code, Run.
RUN, Damn You, Run!
- John Groth (9 Feb 2003)
Nature, it seems, is the popular name
for milliards and milliard and milliards
of particles playing their infinate game
of billiards and billiards and billiards.
- Piet Hein, Atomyriades
DOUGH... the stuff... that buys me beer
RAY... the guy that sells me beer
ME... the one... who drinks the beer
FAR... a long run to get beer
SO... I'll have another beer
LA... I'll have another beer
TEA... no, thanks, I'm drinking beer
That will bring us back to (looks into empty glass) DOH
- Homer Simpson's beer song
Three Distros for hacker gurus, with just a CLI.
Seven Distros for Linux geeks, with tarballs to compile.
Nine Distros for Wannabes, that self-install.
One Distro for the Dark Lord, in his dark home.
In the land of Redmond where the shadows lie.
One Distro to rule them all, One Distro to find them,
One Distro to bring them all, And in binaries only bind them.
In the land of Redmond where the shadows lie.
- Robert Uhl
"Humans plan.....God laughs...". My apologies in advance in you're polytheistic, agnostic, or atheist. - Mike Kerns
Are you suggesting this is a cause and effect relationship? What if one were all three at once? - Joseph Kimball
#1. Absolutely #2. That would suggest a 2nd year philosophy or world religion major.... - Mike Kerns
So a polytheistic agnostic atheist would be certain that they don't exist, but be willing to waffle on the issue of whether gods exist? - Joseph Kimball
Haiku! Pardon me.
Haiku! It's pollen season.
Haiku! Damn. Haiku!
- Steve Jackson
Halloween Safety Tips
I'm sure that you've all seen these rules before and really, they're just common sense. But since we're coming up to that time of the year, I think it's wise to review them. Something about this time of year can play havoc with otherwise sensible people.
Just in case you have forgotten the rules for a safe and Happy Halloween.
1. When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER, EVER go check to see if it's really dead.
2. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even just mumbling to yourself, if you can't read silently you have no business with such a thing anyway!
3. Do not search the basement, especially if the power has gone out.
4. If your pets speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. However, it will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared. This also applies to people who speak with somebody else's (usually deep) voice.
5. When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER pair off or even split up and go it alone.
6. As a general rule, don't try to solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.
7. Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or crypt. This would apply to any other house of the dead as well.
8. If you're searching for something which caused a loud noise and find out that it's just the cat, GET THE HELL OUT!
9. If appliances start operating by themselves, lights go on and off, a fire just appears in the hearth, or doors open and close by themselves - do not check for drafts, do not check for short circuits; just get out!
9 1/2. Why, why, why would you even think of sleeping in that house if that happened?
10. Do not take ANYTHING from the dead.
11. If you find a town which looks deserted, there's probably a good reason for it. Don't stop and look around!
12. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you're doing. And even if you're sure you know what you're doing, just don't fool with it!
13. If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.
14. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, kill them immediately.
15. Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (you're in trouble if you recognize this one), the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine.
16. If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, do not go to the nearby deserted looking house to phone for help. If you think that it is strange because you thought you had half of a tank, shoot yourself instead. You are going to die anyway, and most likely be eaten.
17. If you find that your house is built upon a cemetery, now is the time to move in with the in-laws. This applies to houses that had previous inhabitants who went mad or died in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed satanic practices in your house.
17 1/2. When the exorcist/whatever declares the house is "clear", your troubles have just begun.
18. Never look under the stairs. or the bed. or in the closet. or the cellar, attic.....you get the idea.
19. Don't take anything back to the lab that looks like it might hatch real soon - especially if it is transparent, something inside is moving, or it appears to be lighted from within. In the same vein, never bend over to look into anything that looks like an opening egg.
20. If you don't want to be chased by the monster (or serial killer, shark, alien, giant snake, radioactive ants, etc.)...don't wear skimpy clothes or wet T-shirts.
21. If you are being chased by a car, don't run into the building, the car will corner you and rev it's engine menacingly before destroying the house, business, police station, etc. Whereas, if you just run down the road it can't catch you.
22. Never unwrap the mummy. (See........Always good to have duct tape on-hand just in case something unravels).
23. Going faster than some barrier: sound, light, gossip...is generally bad news for someone somewhere.
24. When flying on an airplane, at night, in a storm, don't raise the shade to see what that noise out on the wing was.
25. Don't talk to sheriffs wearing reflecting sunglasses in towns that are so small the gas station has one pump.
26. Silver works - garlic doesn't.
Happy Halloween !!
COMM Now, you all know the purpose of this mission. It is a kamikaze mission. Your sacred task is to destroy the ships of the American fleet in the Pacific. This will involve the deaths of each and every one of you. Including you.
PILOT Me sir?
COMM Yes you. You are a kamikaze pilot?
PILOT Yes sir.
COMM What are you?
PILOT A kamikaze pilot sir.
COMM And what is your function as a kamikaze pilot?
PILOT To lay down my life for the Emperor sir!
COMM How many missions have you flown on?
PILOT Nineteen sir.
COMM Yes, I have the reports on your previous mission here. (FLIPS THROUGH EACH ONE) Let's see. Couldn't find target, couldn't find target, got lost, couldn't find target, forget to take headband, couldn't find target, couldn't find target, headband slipped over eyes, couldn't find target, came back with headache...
PILOT Headband too tight sir.
COMM Vertigo, couldn't find target, all the rest, couldn't find target. Now I don't think you've been looking very hard.
PILOT Yes I have sir. I've looked all over the place!
COMM You see, it's not actually that difficult bearing in mind that we do have a highly sophisticated reconnaissance unit whose job it is to tell you where to find the targets.
PILOT Well, it's not always accurate sir, sometimes one can search for hours and not see a single aircraft carrier.
COMM Well, where exactly have you been looking for these aircraft carriers?
PILOT Er, well sir...
COMM (FLIPPING THROUGH NOTES) ... I mean, I notice for instance that you seem to have more or less ignored the sea. I would have thought that the sea was a promising area.
PILOT Yes sir...
COMM And that the airspace directly above Tokyo was not. And another thing...
PILOT Yes sir?
COMM Skip the victory rolls.
PILOT Sir, you're being unfair, I have flown over the sea lots of times. I actually attacked an aircraft carrier once.
COMM Ah yes, I have the details of your 'attack' here. Mission nineteen. Let's see. Take off 0500 hours, proceeded to target area, nice start. Target spotted 0520 hours, good, climbed to a height of 6000ft, prepared for attack, went into a power dive, and successfully... landed on target.
PILOT I had to go wee wees sir. Caught short. But I took off immediately sir. Good job too - one of our lads crashed straight into it. Poor devil didn't stand a chance.
COMM What?
PILOT No sir - and that really go me upset, and I was going to let 'em have it - I was going to whip it straight out, fly low and lob it straight through the dining room porthole - that would have sorted them out.
COMM You were going to do what?
PILOT Cut it straight out and let 'em have it, whee splat right in the middle of breakfast. They'd have known we meant business then alright sir.
COMM What were you going to cut straight out and through into their breakfast?
PILOT My stomach sir. Oh yes, I'd like to see the expressions on their faces when the great squelchy mass plummeted right into...
COMM Wait...wait a moment, let me just get this clear in my mind. You were going to cut out...
PILOT My stomach, yes sir, kamikaze... (DOES HARA-KIRI GESTURE)
COMM You were going to cut out your stomach and... throw it a the enemy?
PILOT Yes sir, straight at them.
COMM Any particular reason?
PILOT Die for the Emperor sir.
COMM And what purpose would that serve?
PILOT Make the enemy feel guilty sir.
- 'Kamikaze Briefing' radio script from Douglas Adams
How much am I paying for the styrofoam in this box? - Karl Oldroyd
More than you want to know! - Mike Burkey
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up and in it's proper place. Then he saw an envelope propped prominently on the pillow. It was addressed to "DAD." With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands:
"Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I am writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so very nice to me. But I know you would not approve of her because of all her piercing's, tattoos, her tight motorcycle leather clothes and because she is so much older than I am. But please understand, it is not only the passion we share. . . . . Dad, she is pregnant!! Stacy said that we will be very happy together. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We will be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the mean time, we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!!! Don't worry Dad, I know that I am only 15, but I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I am sure that we will be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.
Love, Your Son,
John
P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I am over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that is in my centre desk drawer. I love you!! Call me when it is safe for me to come home."
I haven't got a brain...only straw. - Scarecrow (Ray Bolger)
How can you talk if you haven't got a brain? - Dorothy (Judy Garland)
I don't know...But some people without brains do an awful lot of talking...don't they? - Scarecrow (Ray Bolger)
Yes, I guess you're right. - Dorothy (Judy Garland)
"Wizard of Oz"
Web versions
WWW 1: The Markup Protocol
WWW 2 The Wrath of Kazaa
WWW 3 The Search for Social Networks
WWW 4 The VRML Homepage
WWW 5 The Final Flickr
WWW 6 The Undocumented Context
then we get to WWW:TNG
- click2005
Tell me, how did you find America? - Reporter
Turned left at Greenland. - John Lennon
"A Hard Day's Night"
If you didn't kill him, then who did, sir? - Clarice (Jody Foster)
Who can say? Best thing for him, really. His therapy was going nowhere. - Lecter (Anthony Hopkins)
"Silence of the Lambs"
Do you really think I'm too cautious? - Florence
If you don't fail occaisionally, you're not pushing your boundaries. - Sam
I do try to aviod failures that could end in fiery explosions. - Florence
Which is why I know more about self extinguishing techniques than you ever will. - Sam
(Source)
Zoë: "There are no tunes. It's talk radio, Torg! All talking!"
Torg: "Oh...how do you know when the commercials end?"
(Source)
I'm starting to think you're an individualist who thinks for themselves. You realize that makes you very dangerous. Beware of parties your invited to where a stake surrounded by kindling might be present.... : ) - Mike Kerns
On the other hand, a steak surrounded by kindling might be welcome! - Joseph Kimball
Always : ) - Mike Kerns
If god made humans in his image, does that mean he is also a weakling?
Nah, we just tell ourselves that to cover for the undeniable fact that we were scraped together at the end of the Creation project. And at that, using leftovers after the main project deliverable: implementing every imaginable variation on the the concept of "beetle".
And if that weren't enough to kick us in the anthropocentric nutes, it's clear we aren't even in the same league as termites, as measured by biomass or biodiversity. This caused some severe editing of the Creation story, particularly Genesis 1:25 - 1:31, which originally went something like this:
25 And God made the beast of the earth after his kind, and cattle after their kind, and every thing that creepeth upon the earth after his kind: and God saw that it was good.
26 And God said, We have checked our deliverables and Creation is complete; so let there be Slack; and God saw the Slack, that it was good, and God separated the productive phase of the Project from the mindless consumption of excess Resources.
27 And the Slack was fruitful of all manner of Diversions of surplus Resources; so God said, Let Us celebrate; and the Celebration begat the Kegger, and the Kegger begat Beer, and Beer begat all manner of amusing indiscretions. And God saw that these where more or less Harmless.
28 Then God noticed that the Project had this left-over mud, and this He fashioned into a Man; but there was not enough fuel left over to fire the clay, so when Man was half-baked, He breathed upon Man and brought him to life.
29 Then Man opened his eyes, and looking on God asked, are You Me? And God said no. Then looking around, Man asked, Is all this for Me? And God said, No, you are only the half-baked leftovers, but if you study Creation perhaps you can become full-baked. And Man thought that this was Bad, and set out to Improve on Matters.
30 So Man said,let there be Self-Serving Sophistry, and let there be Willful Ignorance; and these were fruitful beyond all Measure, and so begat Religion, Conformism, Bigotry and every manner of Officious Narrow-Mindedness. And Man thought these were Good, and he wrote his version of Events down so that none would ever challenge Conformity without Fear.
31 And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good, except for the bits that came after the Beer which in retrospect looked somewhat Doubtful. And God, seeing that Slack had used up the Resources He needed to Fix the Problem, said, Let there be Muddling Through; Let there be Counting On Things Working Out in the End. And seeing that these were not Satisfactory and He was over budget anyway, God said, Let there be Hope. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day.
- by hey! (33014) on Thursday October 12, @09:09AM (#16406949) (http://kamthaka.blogspot.com/ | Last Journal: Wednesday March 30, @04:18PM)
Florence: "While it may seem counter intuitive, dismembering your employer can actually prevent you from collecting severance pay."
Winston: "Good job tip. I'll have to remember that at my next performance review."
(Source)
If circumstances force on to break the law in order to be good... Then laws alone can not be the basis of an ethical society. Something has to be operating at a lower level beneath the laws. In operating system terms, would you say the legal system is equivalent to DOS or Windows? - Dvorak
Slow. Buggy. Uses up all allocated resources and still needs more. Windows. Definately Windows. - Florence
(Source)
Riches and fame. It's... workable. Not a goal I'd have chosen. - Florence
What could be better than wealth and fame? - Sam
Friends. Family. Being of service to your community. - Florence
Those things don't pay. - Sam
There are more important things than money. - Florence
See? It's that attitude that will keep you from ever rising high enough in a company to loot the pension fund. - Sam
(Source)
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