Northern Exposure
      Carpool to the airport, parking & tolls ...$40. Thanks to Gary Lehrman for the lift. Round trip airfare + fuel surcharge ...$259. Thanks to Gary Halman for making the arrangements. Hotel room + Buffet breakfast ... $315. Thanks to Gary Mayer for making the reservations. Does anybody notice a trend here? Mini-van rental + pre-paid fuel + collision insurance...$350. Thanks to Warren Tabachnick for arranging for our local transportation. Playing hockey in Toronto with your friends... OK, everybody repeat after me... $$$ PRICELESS $$$ !!!
      This was my first road trip to one of Hockey North America's (HNA) tournaments held each year in near and distant cities across the US and Canada. Last season was my first with the NY Fireants after playing in two summer sessions in 2001 and 2002. In 2002-2003, the 'Ants did not qualify to be invited to the Toronto League Championship Playoffs. This year we enjoyed a much improved season and earned a trip North as runner-ups in the New York "D" Division.
      My trip began as I was returning from the daily morning dog-walk of my standard poodle, Mendel. I would have walked further with him since he hadn't yet relieved himself but my carpool partner, defenseman #22, Gary Lehrman had arrived to pick me up. Already, I was worried that my dog would leave a gift for my wife upon her return home from work later that afternoon. But my wife told me not to worry and to have a good trip as I kissed her and my kids goodbye.
      As Gary and I drove down the Major Deegan on our way to Laguardia Airport, we encountered some congestion near the GW bridge and further south past Yankee Stadium. But we made it to the AviStar parking lot around 8:15AM and I figured we should be able to make it the two blocks to the airport in the hour and 15 minutes we had before take-off. No Problem. We arrived to find all of our teammates had or would make it on time and we were off to Toronto.
      The flight was uneventful and we then all passed through Canadian Customs in record time, with the exception of NY co-commissioner/defenseman #19 Gary Mayer. Gary, who is a vegetarian, qualified as an agricultural product and was detained until he could prove otherwise. It seems to me that Canada must not fear terrorism the way the US does since 9/11 just by the absence of security. We grabbed luggage carts and hauled our gear to pickup our rental cars.
      At the Dollar/Thrifty Counter, the attendants managed to fleece us for excess collision insurance and pre-paid fuel. If you thought gas was expensive in the States, they make you think it's cheaper in Canada by charging you less money per liter. There are 3.89 liters per gallon and at approximately $.75 CA per liter, well, you do the math, it's even more expensive. To ease the financial burden, I commandeered an additional passenger in my van to divide the expenses among four of us instead of just three. So we piled our gear in the back of our brand-new Dodge Caravan with 6 km on it and Gary, Gary and Gary (NY co-commissioner/wing #4) Halman and I drove to the Wyndham Bristol Place Hotel.
      Since we arrived at the hotel before check-in time only a few of our rooms were available, one of which was mine which I was sharing with goaltender #33 Brian Bavolar, who was also doubling as the goalie for the NY Icemen. A few of our teammates stashed their luggage in our room until their rooms were ready. Most of our team would gather at Arizona's for lunch, which was a short distance from the hotel. We enjoyed the food, the beer, the pool tables but especially the view of the generously endowed waitresses. We raised our glasses and toasted ourselves in the hopes of a successful weekend and that we would do well in the tournament, also.
      A group of us decided we would go to the Westwood Rink where the NY Ducks were playing in the mid-afternoon and Brian was playing there afterward. Several of the Fireants players are former Ducks and Mayer is a current Duck. We also wanted to familiarize ourselves with the route from the hotel to the rink for our game later that evening. Although there was a little congestion on Route 27, we arrived to see the second half of the Ducks 5-2 win. It was there that I found out that Mayer, one of our four defensemen, had severely injured his knee two days earlier. He would never leave the bench. It was decided that if Mayer couldn't go, center/wing #37 John McDermott would go to the backline since we had seven forwards. After the Ducks win, we signed in for our later game and bought our commemorative HNA T-shirts. At 4:30, which would be the start time for the NY Icemen game, I see Ducks goalie Jon Woodman walking out of the locker room and taking the ice for the Icemen. "Woody, where's Brian?" I ask. "Do you think this is the first time I've had to bail out his sorry ass?" was his response. But whether or not it was the first time was irrelevant. Where was Brian? Something else to worry about. After all, Brian and I discussed the directions to this place before we had left to come here. So now, we're thinking maybe the rental broke down or, G-d forbid, a traffic accident or worse. I actually started thinking Brian never left and is lying dead in the hotel room. I get to the hotel room door, open it and ask "Brian?" Not that I could expect a response from a dead man but at least I didn't get an answer from a supposed corpse. I entered the room and see that all of Brian's gear is gone. So at least now we are back to breakdown or car accident. I called the Roadside Assistance phone number for our rentals and asked if they had a record of Brian having called in. Nothing. I called our captain, center #44 Rick Koh, and he asked if we should start calling hospitals or the police. I didn't think that putting out an APB was an appropriate way to mark the 10-year anniversary of OJ's wild ride in a white Bronco, which was very similar to the vehicle Brian was driving.
      As it turns out, Brian got lost. We found this out when we assembled in the hotel lobby for our game. He did not feel confident with the directions we had discussed and went a different way - which was obviously wrong. He showed up approximately halfway through. Brian would yield only two goals but the Icemen would lose 5-2.
      At last gametime, 7:15, arrives and we are playing the Chicago Ducks, who boasted several scorers of 15 goals or more. The scouting report was correct as the Ducks led 2-0 on 2 goals by defensemen #14 Chris Bermes before wing #8 Kevin Fang would ring one in off the post to cut the deficit in half. That was as close as the 'Ants would get. We would go on to lose 4-1 and would never get on track. Maybe we were tired from our travels or maybe we had run out of any youthful exuberance since we had run out of youth. I would be willing to bet a small fortune ($10) that with an average age of 46.5 that we were the oldest team at this tournament. Whatever the excuse, we sucked, plain and simple. Maybe it was because we hadn't played together as a team in over a month and couldn't remember how to be successful like we were during the regular season. We were not clicking on passes and not beating the Ducks to loose pucks. But basically we sucked.
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