Exchanging thoughts and ideas plays an important role in a relationship.  People often, not realizing it, lose track of this valuable concept.  Sometimes a person enters into a relationship not knowing how to communicate, while others know but frequently give up.  No matter what the reason is for the lack of verbal sharing, the results can cause unwanted hardships.  Scott and Katie Nelson, for example, were goodhearted people who had more than their share of miscommunication.
            Assumption is one factor with which Scott had many difficult bouts.  This is a problem most everyone has been guilty of at least once.  And it is one that can lead to numerous problems.  It took a while for Scott Nelson to realize that it is never a good idea to assume someone knows what you are thinking, especially the Missus.  Neither is it good to reckon that what you feel is a good idea will be agreeable with the other.  For example, one day Scott decided to go out and buy a new 35" color TV, assuming Katie would be delighted.  Boy, was he in for a big surprise.  Katie became so upset over the fact that he hadn't discussed it with her first that she assumed that he would enjoy sleeping on the broken down sofa that night.
            Relationships can likewise be led astray in a big way by a small word called "pride."  How hard is it to apologize and admit that you are wrong?  For some people, like Scott Nelson, it can be quite a challenge.  With Katie readily pointing out the facts that she was right and he was wrong, there was no need for him to try any further to explain his reasoning.  She had obviously found her own conclusion.  So why should he humble himself? 
            Social life can also cause a lack of communication in a relationship.  Katie enjoyed talking on the phone and going out with the girls while she wasn't at work, as well as squeezing in an occasional Stephen King novel.  Well, with all this self-time, she didn't leave much talk time for Scott.  She often found herself arguing with him over something that she swore she had told him.  But, as it turned out, she would discuss a situation with her friends and colleagues, and only thought she had talked about it with Scott. 
            When the Nelsons first married, Katie had pretty good communication skills.  Scott, on the other hand, hadn't been taught.  His parents had divorced because they could not communicate, and Scott and Katie were headed down the same road.  They were very much in love and wanted more than anything to make one another happy.  But when two people can?t correspond together, they often lose hope and feel that the other is selfish.  This happened with the young Nelsons when, after Katie tried to get Scott to communicate with her and failed numerous times.  She soon lost interest and, without realizing it, failed to convey her own thoughts with him.
            Fortunately, the Nelson's realized that their marriage was declining drastically.  They finally decided to sit down and have a heart-to-heart discussion about it.  They wanted to come up with a plan that would put them back in correlation with one another.  In agreement to save their marriage, they decided to seek counseling.  Little did they know they had already taken the first step toward a healthier relationship.
            While the Scott and Katie Nelson case is just one example of a lack of communication, it is a frequent problem that can have a serious outcome.  Not always do people discover the problem before it is too late.  If you are in this situation, stop what you are doing, sit down with your other half, and communicate.
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Communicationship?
April 22, 2002