When a child can make it through life without any resentment or mental anguish caused by her father, and her pleasant memories rise far above the negative, she has likely had a good dad.  If, when she recalls her childhood, she is filled with sincere warmness or discovers moments with her own children that cause happy flashbacks, it is probable that she has been blessed with an honorable parent.
    Many folks are quite confused about the concept of good parenting.  Some believe that if they provide their children with the bare necessities - food, shelter, clothing - they are being suitable parents.  Then, there are those who spoil their children with material possessions and give them freedom to do as they please so long as they are 'happy.'  While these notions may not be entirely wrong, I believe there is plenty more to being a competent parent than what one realizes.
    A good parent must be on the same level as his child, no matter what the age or gender.  As well as a playmate, he is a teacher.  He has memorized his child's favorite book just in case he needs to read it in the dark.  He takes notice in his child's interests and tries to be encouraging (or discouraging if they are harmful).  A good father participates in baseball and attends tea parties.  He teaches arithmetic and rediscovers history.  He learns to braid hair and critique poetry.
    Understanding and compassion are significant qualities that a good father possesses.  He doesn't mind kissing boo-boos and wiping noses.  Comforting and counseling his downhearted daughter is an attribute he handles with care.  After attentive listening, he tries to put himself in his child's position so that he can fully understand her problem and guide her in the right direction.  An honorable father is quick to forgive, for he knows that everyone makes mistakes (including him).
    A good parent is not one who spoils his child with worldly possessions, nor deprives her of creature comforts.  He does not turn a blind eye when his child gets into mischief.  Yet his discipline is not detrimental.  Although he doesn't neglect his child, he tries his best not to smother her.  He holds his child closely and looks after her, but he also lets her go at the right moments - no matter how much it hurts.
    It is often difficult to learn and understand the qualities of a being good parent, making it that much more perplexing to be one.  I have been fortunate, because my dad taught me what the features of good parenting are.  Through his actions and love, he showed me how to take care of and create wonderful memories for my own children.
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The Parenting Theory
October 14, 2002