Joey: (Voice Over) Previously on Friends.

[A montage of scenes from TOW Ross and Rachel Take A Break follows.]

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is eating the picnic as Rachel comes
home from work.]

Ross: I mean, I don’t feel like I even have a girlfriend anymore.

Rachel: You want me to just quit my job so that you can feel like
        you’ve got a girlfriend?

Ross: Is this about Mark?

Rachel: (shocked) Oh my God.

Ross: Okay, it’s not, it’s not.

Rachel: Oh my God. I cannot keep having this same fight with you Ross!
        Look, urrgh, maybe we should take a break.

Ross: Fine, you’re right. Let’s ah, let’s take a break, (goes to the
      door) let’s cool off, okay, let’s get some frozen yoghurt, or
      something.. (opens the door)

Rachel: No. A break from us.

(Ross looks at her, then leaves slamming the door behind him.)

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Mark is there, opening Chinese food 
boxes.]

Rachel: Then, we had this big, stupid fight, and I said I wanted to
        take a break, I don’t want to take a break.

Ross: (on the phone) I’ve been thinking, this is crazy, I mean don’t, 
      don’t you think we can work on this? 

Mark: Hey, what do you want to drink?

Ross: Who’s that?

Rachel: Nobody.

Ross: Is that Mark?

Rachel: Umm, honey, look he just came over to....

Ross: Yeah! Got it! (slams down the phone)

[Scene: The Philly.]

Chloe: Hey, come dance. What? Are you married? ‘Cause that’s okay.

[Cut to Chloe and Ross dancing, and their kiss.]

THE NEXT MORNING

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is making a fruit drink in the 
blender, Rachel has just finished her shower and is coming out of the 
bathroom.]

Monica: Hey.

Rachel: Hey.

Monica: How’s the big anniversary dinner?

Rachel: Well, we never actually got to dinner.

Monica: Ohhh, nice.

Rachel: No, we kinda broke up instead.

Monica: What?! (She accidentally starts the blender without the lid on
        it and fruit flies everywhere.)

Rachel: (looking up at the ceiling) God, Monica it’s on the ceiling.

Monica: That’s okay, this is more important than fruit (pause) 
        (angrily) on my ceiling! You broke up?!

Rachel: Yeah, but it’s okay, because when Ross left Mark came over.

Monica: Oh no!! 

Rachel: No.

Monica: Rachel, you and Mark?!

Rachel: No, no-no, it’s okay, calm down. Mark and I talked, and I
        realised how much I love your stupid brother, and, yeah, we
        got our problems, but I really want to make it work.

[Scene: Ross’s Bedroom, Ross is waking up. He straightens himself out
on the bed and puts the covers over his head.]

Chloe: (entering from bathroom) Morning!

(Ross sits bolt upright, without moving the covers.)

OPENING CREDITS

[Scene: Ross’s Kitchen, Ross is taking some aspirin and checking his
messages.]

Rachel: (on answering machine) Hi, it’s me. I’ve been trying to reach
        you all night. I feel awful. Please, Ross, you gotta know
        there is nothing between me and Mark. This whole break-up thing
        is just stupid. 

Ross: Yeah!!

Rachel: Eh, I’m just so sorry I put you through it. And, I y'know, I
        don’t want to get back together over a machine.

Ross: Na-huh.

Rachel: So, I love you.

Ross: I love you.

Rachel: And y'know what, I’m gonna, I’m gonna go to bed now, but ah,
        on my way to work tomorrow morning, I’m gonna stop by around 
        8:30.

Ross: Okay. (Ross starts frantically looking for a clock.)

Rachel: Bye.

(Ross finds a clock, sees it’s almost 8:30, and silently screams.)

Ross: Chloe, Chloe how’s it coming?!!

Chloe: (entering from bedroom) Hey, what kind of puppy do you think I
       should get?

Ross: Umm, oh, hey, I don’t know. How about a big one?

Chloe: But my apartment is so...

Ross: Well then a small one!! Listen, let’s, we kinda have to get 
      going!

Chloe: Wait! Where’s my shoes?

Ross: You, you sure you need shoes? (Chloe nods her head) Okay.
      (reaches down and picks up a shoe)

Chloe: Do I know why we’re rushing?

Ross: Yeah, y'know the ah, the girlfriend I told you about last night?
      (He’s frantically throwing the cushions off of the couch
      looking for her other shoe) Well it turns out she ah, she wants
      to get back together with me. Oh, I found it!! 

Chloe: That’s so great for you guys!

Ross: Yeah! 

Chloe: You must be so happy!

Ross: Yes, yes I am, one of the many things I’m feeling. Well.... 
      (picks up her coat)

Chloe: Good luck, with your girlfriend. 

Ross: Oh, thank you. (She goes to kiss him, but he holds her coat up
      between their faces to stop her.) Hey, hey. (opens the door, 
      sees Rachel, and hides Chloe behind the door) Rachel!!!!

Rachel: Hi. Ohhh, you got my message.

Ross: Yeah, oh hey, you are right on time.

Rachel: So what do you say? Can I be your girlfriend again?

Ross: Yes, you can, very much.

(Chloe gives Ross the thumbs up while still standing behind the door.)

Ross: (seeing the thumbs up) Ahhhh!! (Hugs Rachel tighter.)

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering carry a large box, 
Monica is mopping the ceiling.]

Phoebe: Hey!

Monica: Hey.

Phoebe: Hey, why are you mopping your ceiling?

Monica: Oh, there’s banana on it.

Phoebe: Wow, I have the spirit of an old Indian women living in mine.

Monica: So then you know? (Phoebe nods her head)

Phoebe: The mailman was downstairs, so I brought up your mail.

Monica: Oh, good. Thanks.

Phoebe: Now what is Fabutec?

Monica: Okay, all right don’t judge me to much. Okay? Um, but I saw
        this info-mercial, and um, I swear to you I have never-ever
        bought anything on TV before, except for this mop. But there 
        was this stuff on leg waxing, it just, it looked so 
        amazing....

Phoebe: Waxine!!

Monica: Yes! Have you seen it?

Phoebe: Oh, it’s incredible! I so want to be a Waxine girl.

Monica: I know!!

Phoebe: God. Do think it really doesn’t hurt? ‘Cause how can they do 
        that?

Monica: Hello! Organic substances recently discovered in the depths of
        the rain forest!

Phoebe: They have the best stuff in there.

[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross has told Chandler and Joey his 
terrible act.]

Chandler: Oh my God! Oh my God!

Joey: Yeah. We figured when we couldn’t find you, you’d gone home to 
      make up with Rachel. Which is probably what you shoulda done. 
      Huh?

Ross: You think?! God, I, ah, I’m in hell. I mean what, what am I 
      gonna do? Rachel’s all like, ‘I love you and, and let’s work on
      this.’ And all I can think about is, ‘What is she gonna do? What
      is she gonna say?’ when I tell her what I did.

Chandler: Well, before we answer that, I think we should address the
          more important question. How dumb are you?

Ross: What?! Look, we’re trying to rebuild a relationship here, right.
      How am I supposed to do that here, without being totally honest
      with each other?

Joey: Look, Ross look, I’m on board about this totally honesty thing,
      I am, just not about stuff that’s gonna get you in trouble.

Chandler: He’s right. Nobody’s gonna benefit, and you’re just gonna 
          hurt her.

Joey: Yeah, and there won’t be a relationship left to rebuild.

Ross: Yeah, but don’t you think....

Chandler: All right look, if you absolutely have to tell her, at least
          wait until the timing’s right. And that’s what deathbeds are
          for.

Ross: Yeah, okay. (he plops down into one of the leather chairs, with
      the footrest extended.)

Joey: All right, okay, now, we just have to make sure she doesn’t find
      out some other way. (spins the chair around so that Ross is 
      facing him) Did you think about the trail?

Ross: What trail?

Joey: (stomps on the footrest which pops Ross up into a sitting 
      position) The trail from the woman you did it with to the woman 
      you hope never finds out who did it! (slapping his hands with 
      each word) You always have to think about the trail!

Ross: Oh, I-I don’t think there’s any trail.

Chandler: Okay, okay-okay, ah, Chloe works with that guy Issac. 
          Issac’s sister is Jasmine. And Jasmine works at that message
          place with Phoebe. And Phoebe’s friends with Rachel. And that’s 
          the trail, I did it!

[Scene: Monica's Bedroom, Monica and Phoebe are waxing their legs.]

Phoebe: (reading from the instructions) After applying the Waxine and
        linen strips to leg number one, 

Monica: Did that!

Phoebe: Grasp one of the linen strips by its ‘easy grab tab’ and pull
        it off in one quick pain free motion.

Monica: Okay. (Does so.) Ow!!!!! Ow-oh-oh!

Phoebe: Was it not pain-free?

Monica: No. It was painful. Oh my God , they should call it Pain-zine,
        now with a little wax.

Phoebe: Huh, well, the girls in the satin nighties on the commercial
        don’t seem to think it’s that bad.

Monica: That’s because their nerves are probably deadened from being
        so stupid. But hey, y'know if you don’t believe me, please, by
        my guest.

Phoebe: (Removing one of the strips) Ow-ow-ow-ow! Oh my God!!!

Monica: Now, are you glad we didn’t start with the bikini strips?

[Scene: The Xerox Place, Ross is trying to break the trail.]

Ross: (entering) Chloe? Hi.. 

Chloe: Is this about me taking your watch?

Ross: You took my watch?

Chloe: I’m sorry, I do that.

Ross: Just you keep it, listen did you, did you tell anyone about us?

Chloe: Oh no. I feel it isn’t really anybody’s business, y'know.

Ross: Exactly. So you didn’t, didn’t mention anything to Issac right?

Chloe: Oh, well I tell Issac everything.

Ross: You tell, of course you do. Issac. Issac. Hey, Issac. Issac, hi!
      Y'know we haven’t actually met...

Issac: You dog!

Ross: Yes, I suppose I am a dog. But Issac, see I-I happen to have a 
      girlfriend.

Issac: Oh right, that Rachel chick from the coffee place.

Ross: Yeah, that’s the one. Listen, I don’t want to hurt her.

Issac: Oh, hey, man I know, doesn’t matter how much we love ‘em,
       monogamy is too cruel a rule.

Ross: Yeah. Listen, can you keep this information to yourself?

Issac: Aw, no problem dude. Y'know we got to look out for each other.
       We’re the same, you and me.

Ross: Actually, no, we’re not.

Issac: Yeah, we are.

Ross: No, we’re not.

Issac: Yeah, we are.

Ross: No, we’re not!!

Issac: Okay, we’re not.

Ross: Right.

Issac: But, we are.

Ross: Fine. I just need to know that you’re not gonna tell your
      sister.

Issac: I can promise not to tell her again.

[Scene: Phoebe’s Work, Ross is now trying to stop Jasmine from telling
Phoebe.]

Ross: (entering out of breath) Jasmine? 

Jasmine: Uh-huh.

Ross: We met at Phoebe’s birthday party, I’m, I’m Ross Geller.

Jasmine: You did a bad thing!

Ross: Yes, I did.

Jasmine: Very bad!

Ross: Very bad.

Jasmine: Very, very bad.

Ross: I’m agreeing with you. Did you, listen, did you happen to tell
      Phoebe yet?

Jasmine: No.

Ross: Okay, Jasmine, please, please don’t. I love my girlfriend very
      much, and I want more than anything to just work it out with 
      her. Okay?

Jasmine: All right.

Ross: Thank you, thank you.

Jasmine: But you should probably talk to my roommate, because I told
         him and he knows Phoebe too.

Ross: (angrily) Who’s your roommate?

[Scene: Central Perk, Gunther is wiping down the counter as Ross 
rushes in.]

Ross: Gunther! Gunther. Gunther, please tell me you didn’t say 
      anything to Rachel about me and the girl from the Xerox place.

Gunther: I’m sorry. Was I not supposed to?

(Ross turns around and sees Rachel sitting by the window. She is just
glaring at him.)

COMMERCIAL BREAK

[Scene: Monica’s Bedroom, Monica and Phoebe are removing the rest of
their wax strips.]

Monica: Ow!

Phoebe: Oh!!

Monica: Ow!! Ow!!

Phoebe: Ow!!!

Monica and Phoebe: Ow!!!!!!! Ow-ow-ow-ow!

(Hearing the screaming Chandler and Joey rush in. Joey has a pan, 
Chandler has a tea kettle.)

Phoebe: We’re all right.

Monica: It’s okay, it’s okay.

Phoebe: We’re all right.

Monica: We were just waxing our legs.

Chandler: Off?!!

Phoebe: For your information, this happens to be a pain like no man 
        will ever experience.

Chandler: Yeah, well I don’t think you can make that statement, unless
          you’ve been kicked in an area that God only meant to be
          treated nicely.

Joey: Yeah, I-I think that women just have a lower threshold of pain
      than men, that’s all. I mean, come on, it’s just a little wax.

Phoebe: Oh yeah, come here. (Puts a little wax on Joey’s arm and puts
        a strip on it.)

Chandler: Oh, that’s mature.

Joey: Okay, fine, so now what, I just pull it off?

Phoebe: Uh-huh.

Monica: That’s right.

(Joey laughs, pulls it off, then does a high-pitched whine.)

[Cut to Living Room, Rachel is trying to close the door on Ross.]

Ross: (forcing the door open) Come on, Rachel, come on! Talk to me!
      Please!!

[Cut to Monica's bedroom, Chandler slowly closes the door, and we hear
Rachel from the living room.]

Rachel: I can’t talk to you. I can’t even look at you right now!

Monica: What?

Chandler: Nothing, nothing.

Monica: (going over to listen at the door) Rachel said everything was
        okay.

Phoebe: (to Joey) What, what are they talking about?

Ross: Rachel?

[Cut to Living Room]

Rachel: Just get away from me!

Ross: No, it was a mistake! I made a mistake! Okay?

Rachel: A mistake?! What were you trying to put it in? Her purse?!

[Cut to Monica's bedroom]

Phoebe: Whe-where did he put it?!

[Cut to Living Room]

Rachel: Ross, you had sex with another woman!

[Cut to Monica's bedroom, both Monica and Phoebe gasp.]

Monica: Oh my God.

Phoebe: Oh, I knew something had to be wrong, because my fingernails
        did not grow at all yesterday.

Chandler: Yeah, well, I guess they had a fight, and he got drunk....

Monica: Oh!! (hits Chandler and Joey in the head) You guys knew about
        this and you didn’t tell us?!

Chandler: (to Joey) He has sex, and we get hit in our heads.

[Cut to Living Room]

Rachel: (opening the door) Y'know what, I want you to leave! Get outta
        here! 

Ross: No!!

Rachel: Just get out! Now!!

Ross: No!! No!! I wanna stay. I wanna talk about this.

Rachel: Okay! All right! How was she?

[Cut to Monica's bedroom]

Chandler: Uh-oh.

[Cut to Living Room]

Ross: What?

Rachel: Was she good?

[Cut to Monica's bedroom]

Joey: Don’t answer that.

[Cut to Living Room]

Rachel: Come on Ross! You said you wanted to talk about it, let’s talk
        about it!! How was she?

Ross: She was...

[Cut to Monica's bedroom]

Joey: Awful! Horrible!

Chandler: She was not good. Not good.

Joey: She was nothing compared to you.

[Cut to Living Room]

Ross: She, she was different.

[Cut to Monica's bedroom]

Joey: Ewwwww!

Chandler: Uh-oh.

[Cut to Living Room]

Rachel: Good different?

Ross: Nobody likes change.

(Rachel picks up a newspaper and starts beating him with it.)

Ross: What? Okay, okay, okay, okay.

[Cut to Monica's bedroom]

Phoebe: Should we do something?

Chandler: Yeah, never cheat on Rachel.

[Cut to Living Room]

Ross: I’m sorry, okay, I’m sorry. I wa-I was disgusted with myself, 
      and this morning I was so, I was so upset and then I got your
      message and I was so happy, and all I wanted was to get her out
      of my apartment as fast as possible.

Rachel: Whoa!! Whoa, whoa, wait a minute. What time did your little
        friend leave? (Ross can’t answer that) Oh my God. She was 
        there? She was still there? She was in there, when I was in
        there?!

(Ross hands Rachel back the newspaper, and she starts beating him with
it again.)

Ross: Listen. Oh hey, hey, the important thing was that she meant,
      she meant nothing to me!

Rachel: And yet she was worth jeopardising our relationship!! 

(She throws the paper at him, misses and hits Monica’s door, they all
jump back at the sound.)

Ross: Look, I didn’t think there was a relationship to jeopardise. I
      thought we were broken up. 

Rachel: We were on a break!

Ross: That, for all I knew would, could last forever. That to me is a 
      break-up.

Rachel: You think you’re gonna get out of this on a technicality?

Ross: Look, I’m not trying to get out of anything, okay. I thought our
      relationship was dead!

Rachel: Well, you sure had a hell of a time at the wake!

[Cut to Monica's bedroom]

Joey: Y'know what, I don’t think we should listen to this anymore.
      (Goes to open the door)

Monica: (stopping him) What, what are you doing? You can’t go out
        there.

Joey: Why not?! (to Chandler) I’m hungry.

Monica: Because they’ll know we’ve been listening.

[Cut to Living Room]

Rachel: God! And to have to hear about it from Gunther!!

Ross: Come on! Like I wanted him to tell you, I ran all over the place 
      trying to make sure that didn’t happen!

Rachel: Oh, that is so sweet. I think I’m falling in love with you all 
        over again.

[Cut to Monica's bedroom]

Chandler: Y'know what, I think we can go out there. I mean they have
          more important things to worry about.

Joey: Yeah, we’ll be fine.

[Cut to Living Room]

Ross: Look Rachel, I wanted to tell you, I thought I should, I-I did, 
      and then Chandler and Joey convinced me not to.

[Cut to Monica's bedroom]

Chandler: (handing Monica the wax) Wax the door shut, we’re never
          leaving, ever.

[Later, Phoebe is on the phone, they’re all still trapped in Monica’s
bedroom.]

Phoebe: Hi, it’s Phoebe. Listen someone’s gonna have to take my 9:00 
        with Mr. Rehack, ‘cause it’s like 9:15 now, and I’m not there.

[Cut to Living Room]

Ross: Don’t you realise none of this would’ve ever happened if I 
      didn’t think at that same moment you weren’t having sex with
      Mark?

Rachel: All right. Let’s say I had slept with Mark. Would you have
        been able to forgive me?

Ross: (pause) Yes I would.

Rachel: You’d be okay if you knew that Mark had kissed me, and been
        naked with me, and made love to me?

Ross: (less sure) Yes.

Rachel: You knew that our hot, sweaty, writhing bodies were....

Ross: (covering his ears and screaming) La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!
      Okay, okay, yeah, I would have been devastated but, I would 
      still want to be with you. Because it’s, I mean it’s you.

[Cut to Monica's bedroom]

All: Ohhhhh!

[Later, Ross and Rachel are sitting in the kitchen.]

Ross: What? Come on Rach, tell me what you’re thinking?

Rachel: I’m thinking, I’m gonna order a pizza.

Ross: Order a pizza like, ‘I forgive you?’

(She turns around and glares at him, he turns away.)

[Cut to Monica's bedroom]

Joey: Oh man, pizza? I like pizza. (makes like he is trying to send a 
      telepathic message to Rachel) Put olives on the pizza.

Phoebe: We could eat the wax! It’s organic.

Chandler: Oh great, food with hair on it.

Phoebe: No, not the used wax.

Chandler: Because that would be crazy?

[Cut to Living Room]

Ross: Hey, can I, can I get in on that? Because I’m kinda hungry 
      myself.

Rachel: Fine. (on phone) Hi! Yes, I’d like to order a large pizza.

Ross: No anchovies.

Rachel: With ah, extra anchovies.

Ross: That’s okay, I’ll just pick ‘em off.

Rachel: Yeah, and could you please chop some up and just put it right 
        there in the sauce?

[Cut to later, they are finishing up the pizza, there’s one piece left.]

Ross: You can have the last piece, if you want.

Rachel: Well, I should think so. You slept with someone.

[Cut to Monica's bedroom, they’re all eating the wax, Chandler and 
Phoebe, don’t like it. Joey tries some and makes a face like: ‘Hey, 
that’s not so bad.’]

Phoebe: They’re gonna get through this, aren’t they?

Chandler: Yeah, come on, it’s Ross and Rachel, they’ve got too.

Monica: What if they don’t?

(Long pause.)

Joey: You think I need a new walk?

Chandler: What?

Joey: Well y'know, I’ve been walking the same way since high school.
      Y'know, y'know how some guys they walk into a room and everybody
      takes notice. I think I need a ‘take notice’ walk.

Chandler: Are you actually saying these words?

[Later, in the living room, Rachel is sitting on the couch, Ross is on
the chair.]

Ross: What, now you’re not even taking to me? (moves over to the
      coffee table) Look Rachel, I-I’m sorry, okay, I’m sorry, I was
      out of my mind. I thought I’d lost you, I didn’t know what to 
      do. Come on! Come on, how insane must I have been to do
      something like this? Huh? I-I don’t cheat right, I, that’s not
      me, I’m not Joey!

[Cut to Monica's bedroom]

Joey: Whoa-ho-ho! (He looks at Chandler, who gives him a ‘come on’
      look.) Yeah, okay.

Monica: Hey. It’s three in the morning. They don’t know that I’ve come
        home yet. You notice how neither one of them are wondering
        where I am.

Phoebe: Yeah, y'know, people can be so self-involved.

[Cut to Living Room]

Ross: Y'know what, y'know what, I’m-I’m not the one that wanted that,
      that break, okay. You’re the one that bailed on us. You’re the 
      one that, that ran when things got just a little rough!

Rachel: That’s....

Ross: That’s what?!

Rachel: That is neither here nor there.

Ross: Okay, well here we are. Now we’re in a tough spot again, Rach.
      What do you want to do? How do you want to handle it? Huh? Do 
      you wanna fight for us? Or, do you wanna bail? (sits down next 
      to her) Look, I, (on the verge of tears) I did a terrible, 
      stupid, stupid thing. Okay? And I’m sorry, I wish I could take
      it back, but I can’t. (We see Monica and Phoebe are almost in
      tears.) I just can’t see us throwing away something we know is 
      so damn good. Rachel, I love you so much.

(He kisses her on her shoulder, then her neck, then the side of her 
face, then just before he kisses her on the lips....)

Rachel: No Ross!! (stands up and moves away from him) Don’t! You can’t
        just kiss me and think you’re gonna make it all go away,
        okay? It doesn’t work that way. It doesn’t just make it 
        better. Okay?

Ross: Okay, okay, okay.

Rachel: (softly) I think you should go.

Ross: What?

Rachel: (softly) I really think you need to go now.

Ross: (moving over to stand in front of her) Okay, okay. This morning
      you said there was nothing so big that we couldn’t work past it 
      together...

Rachel: Yeah, what the hell did I know!

Ross: Look, look, there’s got to be a way we can work past this. Okay,
      (takes a hold of one of her arms.) I can’t imagine, I can’t 
      imagine my life without you. (Both of them are starting to cry.)
      Without, without these arms, and your face, and this heart. Your
      good heart Rach, (drops to his knees and hugs her around her
      waist) and, and....

Rachel: (crying) No. I can’t, you’re a totally different person to me 
        now. I used to think of you as somebody that would never, ever
        hurt me, ever. God, and now I just can’t stop picturing with
        her, I can’t, (Ross stands up and backs away) it doesn’t
        matter what you say, or what you do, Ross. It’s just changed,
        everything. Forever.

[We see the rest of them are now crying.]

Ross: (crying) Yeah, but this can’t be it, I mean.

(pause)

Rachel: Then how come it is?

CLOSING CREDITS

[Scene: Monica’s bedroom.]

Phoebe: They’ve been quiet for a long time.

Joey: Maybe she killed him?

Chandler: Let’s go.

[Cut to Living Room, Rachel is sleeping on the couch, Ross is gone, 
the rest of them can finally emerge from their cell. They all wave
good bye, and start to walk quietly out, as Monica goes and puts a
blanket on Rachel. Joey starts walking all hunched over and bobbing 
his shoulders as he goes.]

Chandler: (to Joey) Is that your new walk?

Joey: (whispering) No, I really have to pee.