Your e-mail may save someone's life!
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| Hyperactivity (lat. Hyperium Activiterum Noodlita) and Never-Stopping (lat. Triple Hyperium Activiterum Noodlita) | |||||||||
| Symptoms: | |||||||||
| Peter is laughing, clapping his hands, jumping up and down, singing and (sometimes) bursting into screaming. He regrets that he didnt attend Karate classes and wishes he could hit something. He comes to the Message Board or any other chat, screaming "I am hyper!!!" and posts hundreds of idiotic messages. | |||||||||
| What to do? | |||||||||
| Nothing. It doesn't usually last for long. Nevertheless, some fans have such a serious form of Hyperactivity as Never-stopping (symptoms: Peter can't sit or stand patiently, he needs to run or move some part of his body every second and this mad race lasts for a really long time). Then we should give Peter some work, like digging the ground outside, or send him to the gym. He'll use all his energy for the useful work. Isn't it great? | |||||||||
| Annihilator 666 (lat. Annihilatida Murdocium) | |||||||||
| Symptoms: | |||||||||
| Peter can't hold anything without breaking it. He spoils everything, no matter what and no matter how. Peter can't even drink coffee without dropping the mug and flooding the floor with the brown liquid. | |||||||||
| What to do? | |||||||||
| It's a curse, I tell you. Someone cursed Peter by mistake while playing with voodoo-dolls. What we should do? Just give Peter a nice punch to make him more careful. If it didn't work, the disease is incurable. Then we must go and buy more coffee mugs. | |||||||||
| Mortification Of The Brain Cells (lat. Mortificitium Brainium Cellium Stupotium) | |||||||||
| Symptoms: | |||||||||
| Look at Peter! He's silent and very thoughtful. He answers "huh?" and "err..." when we ask him about something, and if he is asked to put two and two together he gets five. Peter is frowning when he hears some clever words like "dibromophenol" and says that it is sort of tea. | |||||||||
| What to do? | |||||||||
| We can't panic, all we have to do is giving Peter the IQ test. If the result is 30 and less, it is fatal. If it is not yet, we should make his brain work again. Make him read clever books. Then make him attend school. Then punch him to wake him up and he'll be Ok. | |||||||||
| Adhesion To The Fridge (lat. Adhesia Russelina Refridginata) | |||||||||
| Symptoms: | |||||||||
| Where is Peter? He is near the fridge, eating and champing. It's not a big problem, but he spent three hours near the fridge already and he's not going to separate with his darling fridge. | |||||||||
| What to do? | |||||||||
| Separate him from his darling fridge and lock him upstairs. Without food. For two days. Then give him some water and bread, and continue keeping him away from any fridge. After two weeks of being away from food, he'll become serene and calm. Just make sure if he's still alive when you open the door to his prison. | |||||||||
| These are four most popular illnesses among Gorillaz-Fans. But there are more appearing every day! If you know some - mail me, quickly! frisky2000@mail.ru and hurry up! Your e-mail may save someone's life! |
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