o~/Time passes by/The only tears I cry/Are filled with disillusion and fears I have inside/Like a lost soul/I feel like I'm all alone/If only I could feel your pain/Within your heart of stone/~o.
"Oh Brian," she whispered looking down at the picture she clutched to her chest. It had been taken 3 years ago, but the memory was as fresh as if it were only 3 hours.
It was her 21st birthday and all she wanted was to see the Backstreet Boys in concert. She had seen them live only once, before they had made it big. They had even let her go backstage to meet them. From the moment she looked into his intense flame blue eyes, her heart belonged to Brian. He had asked her if it would be okay for him to call her. Sara had said yes and had given him her phone number. From there, things between them accelerated rapidly, and they were soon considered an item.
As the band's success grew, and they quickly obtained pop superstardom, Sara seen less and less of Brian. His phone calls grew sporadic, and eventually stopped all together. It wasn't that she couldn't handle their separation or that she didn't understand the pressure that was placed upon him in the position that he was in, it was that she didn't really understand what was going on between them. He didn't talk to her or let her know anything. So she lived each day thinking that it was something she had done.
One day, Brian called Sara and told her he had met someone else. He explained that in Leighanne, he had found all that he was looking for. She understood the pressures he was under while touring. She never complained when his schedule was so hectic he forgot to call.
Sara had been crushed. Her world completely stopped moving. It had taken her six months to even find the will to really keep on living.
A couple of months ago Sara's fragile world was once again shattered when she heard that Brian was getting married. She had been at work whe she had heard the news. She had been so devestated that her supervisor had sent her home early.
And so here it was. His big day. The day that would end all of her dreams of him coming back to her.
o~/If you knew what I knew/You wouldn't say what you said/ If you knew what I knew/We'd be together instead/Of you breaking my heart/With all the things that aren't true/My lady, yes/If you knew what I knew/~o
She heard a car pull into the driveway. Glancing down, she was puzzled by the unfamiliar vehicle now parked in front of her house. She went downstairs and opened the door as the bell rang. Even from behind she knew who it was. "But why?" she thought.
"Sara," he said turning around and looking at her. "There are so many things I want to say. So many things to apologize for. So many things I wish I could change," he said taking her hand in his. "But all I can think to say is I love you. With all my heart. I wish there was a way I could make it all up to you." He looked deep in her eyes and smiled softly.
How she had missed his smile. The way his eyes crinkled at the corners, and his nose wrinkled just the slightest bit, always made her heart melt. "Oh Bri," she whispered. "I've missed you so much. But Leighanne-"
"Is gone. I couldn't...It wasn't her I loved. It wasn't her who haunted my dreams and waking hours. It wasn't her who had my heart. You are my everything. My live, my love, my inspiration." He pulled her to him and held her close. "I love you."
"I love you too," she said as he kissed her softly, saying everything he needed to say with that one gesture.
o~/I wish I may/I wish I might/Be that certain someone/You wish for everynight/~o
Sara sat in the windowseat of her bedroom staring out at the falling snow. Her face was stained with tears, and they were still coming. In her arms she held a picture. "Today is the day," she mumbled as she rested her head on the cool glass. "It will be final and there will be no turning back." She sighed as her CD switched tracks. Her heart cried out for him as he sang:
