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"American Pie" Based on the performance by Don McLean
"Neopets Lie" Parody by Guy DiRito

Just not so long ago,
I can still remember how the mouse click sounded on each tile.
You could tell it at the first glance,
This game would hold and so entrance,
How rod of super nova made you smile.
But Doctor Sloth made your pets quiver,
With every lab ray he'd deliver,
Low sales at your store kept,
You waiting as your score slept.

So many times how you got fried,
When in some shop a prize you eyed,
So many clicks they did collide,
Again you are denied.

So they lie, these Neopets guys,
They play heavy as they levy,
With the fun they deny.
Gamers just want their pets feelin' frisky and spry,
Frettin' hope my Neopet does not die,
Hope my Neopet does not die.

Cute pets that the kids so love,
And it's a race to make them tough,
Lest a rival brings them whoa.
Some gamers shops play rock 'n roll,
Through HTML they control,
Magic brushes can enhance and glow.

Well now some pets fly and some pets swim,
And that Grundo's wit is mighty dim.
It's like a thousand zoos,
Ninety million pets says their news.

To get a really rare prize takes some luck,
There's a lot frustration, it can really suck,
Your mouse drags like it's in the muck,
As restocks do subside.

Those restocks zingin'

So they lie, these Neopets guys,
They play heavy as they levy,
With the fun they deny.
Gamers just want their pets feelin' frisky and spry,
Frettin' hope my Neopet does not die,
Hope my Neopet does not die.

Now your pets' skills you've got to hone,
You can do this best with a code stone,
But that's not how it has to be.
You may just find a dubloon on your screen,
Train your pet at that Krawk Island scene.
It's a choice to make and both are free.

Oh, and even when the site is down,
They've got these games so hang around.
They seem so darned concerned,
That you might not return.
And they got some Jetsams look like sharks,
They're swimming pets with lots of spark,
And they have Lupes but they don't bark,
Those pets have so much pride.

Those restocks zingin'

So they lie, these Neopets guys,
They play heavy as they levy,
With the fun they deny.
Gamers just want their pets feelin' frisky and spry,
Frettin' hope my Neopet does not die,
Hope my Neopet does not die.

Melter belter those Scorchios swelter,
You build your pets a nice home for shelter,
Three stories high encased in glass.
And they have rules should you harass,
Right off the site they'll boot your ass,
If you don't follow the guidelines they hold fast.

Now they got themselves a huge game room,
You can win yourself a few dubloons.
They've got some games of chance,
And a stock market for finance.
Your pets get sick gotta get them healed,
The pharmacy don't take blue shield,
The healing springs sometime will yield,
A cure that turns the tide.

Those restocks zingin'

So they lie, these Neopets guys,
They play heavy as they levy,
With the fun they deny.
Gamers just want their pets feelin' frisky and spry,
Frettin' hope my Neopet does not die,
Hope my Neopet does not die.

Neopia is a big old place,
They've got a station parked in space.
It brought them all those Grundo men,
They run on, brain like thimble, not real quick,
Ol' Doc Sloth made the whole bunch sick,
And that is why they can't quite comprehend.

And there's gambling games where you can wage,
A lottery you can engage,
Some make your NP swell,
But most don't pay so well.
You get so hooked that you can play all night,
Ignite the kids to this web site,
It's no wonder those kids aren't sleeping right,
The kids get their brains fried.

Those restocks zingin'

So they lie, these Neopets guys,
They play heavy as they levy,
With the fun they deny.
Gamers just want their pets feelin' frisky and spry,
Frettin' hope my Neopet does not die,
Hope my Neopet does not die.

But this here game won't let 'em snooze,
'Cause there's always new things in their news.
They're leading all the kids astray.
I clicked down to the magic store,
Where I made so many clicks before,
But that shop still had not restocked yet today.

Stuck in their seats the children screamed,
As their pets died, and the web guys schemed,
No one could get their token,
The web site it was broken.
It seems the site got a lethal dose,
When a virus got into the host,
It turned their web site into toast,
The day Neopets died.

Those restocks zingin'

So they lie, these Neopets guys,
They play heavy as they levy,
With the fun they deny.
Gamers just want their pets feelin' frisky and spry,
Frettin' hope my Neopet does not die,
Hope my Neopet does not die.

Those restocks zingin' they lie, these Neopets guys,
They play heavy as they levy,
With the fun they deny.
Gamers just want their pets feelin' frisky and spry,
Frettin' hope my Neopet does not die.