| 1990 : The Bronx Warriors (1982) |
| Directed by Enzo Castellari. Starring Mark Gregory, Stephania Girolami, Vic Morrow , Fred Williamson , Joshua Sinclair , Christopher Connelly , Thomas Moore, Massimo Vanni , and George Eastman. |
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| This is one of those great movies I used to rent out as a kid , and enjoy as a serious action film. As an adult , I still enjoy it , but also get a lot of laughs out of it. 1990: The Bronx Warriors is naturally set in the Bronx of the future ( 1990 to be precise.....another good example of why you should never set your sci-fi film in an exact year). The police are too scared to go there, and gangs fight for control of the lawless area. |
| A rich girl from Manhattan runs away to the Bronx to escape her miserable wealthy existence. She gets caught by The Zombies , a ridiculously dressed rollerskating gang of nazi ice hockey players ( or at least that's what they looked like to me) led by George Eastman. Fortunately for her , she gets rescued by The Riders , a gang of bikers led by Trash ( Mark Gregory). Trash, who looks a lot like Guns'n'Roses guitarist Slash, takes Ann as his prize. |
| What trash doesn't know ( which is a lot, since he's pretty dumb) is that Ann is the heiress of The Manhattan Corporation , the biggest , most evil corporation in New York. Her father President Clark ( Thomas Moore - The New Barbarians) will stop at nothing to get her back , and hires a mercenary called Hammer ( Vic Morrow - Great White) to turn all of the gangs against each other in an operation ridiculously titled 'Hush Hush'. He does this with the help of Christopher Connelly, and a John Denver lookalike called Ice, who is a treacherous member of The Riders. Before long , the already violent Bronx turns into a bloodthirsty battlefield. |
| Entertainment : 3 out of 4 |
| Watchability : 4 out of 4 |
| Overall : 3.5 out of 4 |
| Reviewed by Blake |
| This had elements of Escape From New York , The Warriors , and even C.H.U.D. ( the gang of underground mutants were hilarious). The cast was also great ..... a who's who of Italian filmmaking. I was pretty dissapointed with George Eastmans performance. He really seemed like he didn't want to be there. Maybe he had family problems or something , because he normally relishes those maniacle dictator-like roles , and yet he didn't give any great long winded speeches to his men like he did in The New Barbarians. Most disappointing. |
| Still , this had enough action , post-nuke atmosphere, and inane dialogue ( mainly from Trash) to keep anyone interested. Fred Williamson was in fine form as Ogre , leader of a gang of pimps ( though I'm not sure how they made a living , because there were no hookers to be seen) called The Tigers. If you can track down the directors cut , you'll see a Clockwork Orange inspired tapdancing gang too. Even Trash is almost laughing in this scene. My favorite part of this movie is probably when the treacherous John Denver lookalike Ice is chasing Blade on his moterbike , and has one of the funniest crashes I've seen in a while. It is obviously un-intended, and Castellari decided not to do another take because it was so hilarious. The actor Joshua Sinclair probably got more than just a few bumps and bruises out of that one , not to mention the damage to his ego knowing that audiences would be laughing at his complete lack of riding ability. He almost comes off his bike in a few other scenes too, and looks very uncomfortable when he's riding. Non-stop action , ridiculous gangs , ridiculous dialogue, un-intentional stunts , what more could you ask for ? |
| UPDATE!!! MUCH LIKE BIG KEV, I'M EXCITED. STOMP ENTERTAINMENT ARE UNLEASHING THIS ON THE AUSTRALIAN PUBLIC FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE THE GOOD OLE' OPAL SERIES VIDEO. |