onemillionyearsbc

Unlike a lot of prehistoric adventure movies, this doesn't insult our intelligence by giving us cavemen who speak eloquent english. Instead, it just insults our intelligence by re-writing the book of evolution, and mixing humans in with dinosaurs! It starts with a caveman being banished from his tribe by his evil brother. He stumbles his way accross a desert, almost being eaten by a giant iguana. Fortunately after a few days, he finds the coast, along with a scantilly clad Raquel Welch, and her similarly scantilly clad freinds. They are spearing fish, laughing, and frolicking in the surf. The whole scene is kind of like a Gidget movie. Just when this guy thinks all his fantasies about making it with ten cavegirls with perfect hair, and lipstick are about to come true, the biggest turtle you've ever seen ( except maybe for Gamera) appears, and they have to

scare it off. Raquel and her freinds take the guy back to their tribe. He finds that they're a lot more advanced than his old tribe. They paint, are peaceful , and eat with utensils. They're kind of like stone age hippies. Everything's fine for a while, until what looks like an alasaurus attacks the village. The banished caveman kills it, in what is a pretty cool scene by stop-motion extraordinaire Ray Harryhausen. After this, he gets in a fight with another caveman over a spear, and is banished yet again. Fortunately though, the lovely Raquel likes the rugged, bad tempered, violent type, and goes with him. Together they travel through hostile country filled with dinosaurs, giant tarantulas , giant crickets, and missing links, looking for a new home.

This was just your average not bad, but not great either adventure/fantasy flick. A good choice for a wet day. If you enjoyed movies like Jason and the Argonaughts, and are a fan of Ray Harryhausen's stop-motion effects ( which I still think are far more effective than cheap looking CGI ) you will really like some of the top notch sequences here. The main letdown of this was the total lack of cheesy dialog ( or any dialog for that matter) that we've come to expect from movies like this. Still , I can think of worse ways to spend an hour and a half than watching Raquel Welch run around in that skimpy little animal skin number.