Above: Christina... (HOT) Below: Britney and Christina		WTF Happened to Christina Aguilera note: some of this may be untrue One day I was watching my TV and Britney Spears' weird orgy video came on, the one about the slaves and stuff anywho, I thought to myself "Self, what ever happened to that other hot chick, Christina Aguilera, she was pretty hot." So I decided to do some investigative reporting. After a few weeks of looking, I discovered the frightening truth, Christina had gone through several steps downward before finally crashing into ugliness. After being violently shoved from the spotlight by Britney's giant breasts, Christina slipped into denial as her fanbase slipped away as well. By 2001,only a few small girls and perverted old men remained members of her fanclub.As interest in Christina diminished, she slipped into madness, often hallucinating that N'Sync and Britney were trying to kill her.		Above: Christina Before the Fall Below: Christina Showing off her shiny thing
Above: Christina demonstrating her new 'original' dance moves		Fueled by her own insanity, Christina's formerly erotic dance moves became more and more irregular. She had been months without playing a concert and depression began to seep into her personal life. Her mother, Veronica Aguilera said: "Christina was acting strangely. She just wasnt her usual ditzy self." Christina reputation as a singer was so out-skanked by Britney Spears that soon she was forced to fight for a job singing at the local strip clubs. CAUTION: if youre squeamish, do not proceed		Above: More Severe Depression Sets In
Disturbing Before/After		Soon, Christina's only friend became the McDonald's Big 'N' Cheesy, which was pulled from the market for its lethal calorie count and it was, as Chester Cheetah (Cheetos Mascot) said, "Dangerously Cheezy". In the end, Christina was more Grease than Girl . Tragically, Christina has since only left the house for routine heart attack treatments. Its times like these that I'm sorry that the media and the oppression of cheap/plentiful breast implants are all it takes to transform a normally hot girl into yet another massive blob of Playdoh ® brand ugly. BACK HOME		Above: The Last known Photo Before the Tragic Bloating Began Sincerely, Your outrageously funny writer, Tim

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