3 Jokes A Day Riddles

3 Jokes A Day Short Riddles- Non Gold Member Page

The answer to each riddle is under the riddle. Place your mouse next to the arrow, click your left mouse button & drag to highlight the area. (You can cheat by clicking "Edit" & "Select all" on your browser.)

A barrel of water weighs 20 pounds. What must you add to it to make it weigh 12 pounds?
Holes.

A farmer had seventeen sheep, all but nine died, how many did he have left?
Nine.

A father's child, a mother's child, yet no one's son.
A girl or daughter.

A man builds a house with all 4 sides facing south. A bear walks past the house. What color is the bear?
White:the house is built directly on the North Pole.

A railroad crossing, look for the cars;
Can you spell all that without any R's?
All that.

A skin have I, more eyes than one. I can be very nice when I am done. What am I?
A potato.

A woman had two sons who were born on the same hour of the same day of the same year. But they were not twins. How could this be so?
There are MORE THAN TWO babies.

Before Mount Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain on Earth?
Mount Everest.

Before the days of motor cars, a man rode into town on his horse. He arrived on Friday, spent three days in town and left on Friday. How is that possible?
Hint: Can you guess the horse's name?

Big as a biscuit, deep as a cup,
Even a river can't fill it up.
What is it?
A kitchen strainer.

Can a man legally marry his widow's sister in the state of California?
No, because he's dead.

Clara Clatter was born on December 27th, yet her birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible?
She lives in the Southern Hemisphere, where the seasons are reversed.

Even if they are starving, natives living in the Arctic will never eat a penguin's egg. Why not?
Penguins are native to Antarctica.

Forward I am heavy, but backward I am not. What am I?
A ton.

He has married many women, but has never been married. Who is he?
A priest.

How are a jeweler and a jailer alike?
The jeweler sells watches and the jailer watches cells.

How many bricks does it take to complete a building made of brick?
Only one - the "last" one.

How many of each animal did Moses take on the ark?
Who?

How many times can you subtract the number 5 from 25?
Once. After the first calculation, you will be subtracting 5 from 20, then 5 from 15, and so on.

How much dirt is in a hole 4 feet deep and 2 feet wide?
There is no dirt in a hole.

I have a head like a cat. I have feet like at cat. But I am not a cat.
What am I?
A kitten.

I know a word of letters three,
Add two and fewer there will be.
Few.

I'm not an airplane, but I can fly through the sky.
I'm not a river, but I'm full of water.
What am I?
A cloud.

If a rooster laid a brown egg and a white egg, what kind of chicks would hatch?
None. Roosters don't lay eggs!

If there are fifteen crows on a fence and the farmer shoots a third of them, how many crows are left?
None. The rest of the crows flew away when they heard the gunshot.

If two's company and three's a crowd,what are four and five?
Nine.

If you have it, you want to share it. If you share it, you don't have it. What is it?
A secret.

If you were in a dark room with a candle, a woodstove, a match and a gas lamp which do you light first?
The match.

If you were locked in a concrete room, with no windows and no doors, and all you had inside the room was a bed and a calendar, how would you eat and drink?
Get "dates" from the calendar and water from the (bed) "springs."

If you were locked in a concrete room, with no windows and no doors, and all you had inside the room was a table and a mirror, how would you get out?
Look in the mirror, see what you saw, take the saw, cut the table in half; two halves make a "whole", then climb out the "hole."

If you were standing directly on Antarctica’s South Pole facing north, which direction would you travel if you took one step backward?
North; from the South Pole, all directions are north.

If you were to take two apples from three apples, how many would you have?
Two, what you take is what you have.

In a tunnel of darkness lies a beastof iron. It can only attack when pulled back. What is it?
A bullet.

In Okmulgee, Oklahoma, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?
You can't take a picture with a wooden leg! You need a camera.

In what year did Christmas Day and New Year's Day fall in the same year?
It happens every year.

Is an old hundred dollar bill better than a new one?
It's 99 dollars better!

No sooner spoken than broken. What is it?
Silence.

Some months have 30 days, some months have 31 days; how many have 28?
They all do.

Take off my skin -- I won't cry, but you will! What am I?
An onion.

The capital of Turkey is a long word. Can you spell it?
I-T.

The more it dries, the wetter it gets. What is it?
A towel.

The more you have of it, the less you see. What is it?
Darkness.

The more you take away, the bigger it gets. What is it?
A hole.

The more you take, the more you leave behind. What are they?
Footsteps.

The one who makes it, sells it.
The one who buys it, never uses it.
The one that uses it never knows that he's using it.
What is it?
A coffin.

There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall, and he wears size 13 sneakers. He has a wife and 2 kids. What does he weigh?
A butcher weighs meat.

Three men were fishing. The boat flipped over and the three men fell into the water. Two of the men got their hair wet. Why didn't the third man's hair get wet?
He was bald.

What book was once owned by only the wealthy, but now everyone can have it? You can't buy it in a bookstore or take it from a library.
A telephone book.

What can be swallowed, but can also swallow you?
Water.

What can burn the eyes, sting the mouth, yet be consumed?
Salt.

What can go up a chimney down but can't go down a chimney up?
An umbrella.

What can go up and come down without moving?
The temperature.

What can pass before the sun without making a shadow?
The wind.

What can you catch but not throw?
A cold.

What can't be burned in fire, nor drowned in water?
Ice.

What clothing does a house wear?
A dress.

What crime is punishable if attempted, but is not punishable if committed?
Suicide.

What didn't Adam and Eve have that everyone else has?
Parents.

What do the numbers 11, 69, and 88 all have in common?
They read the same right side up, and upside down.

What do you fill with empty hands?
Gloves.

What do you serve that you can't eat?
A tennis ball.

Read the rest by becoming a Gold member(more than 50 more riddles).