| FUTURAMA CUTS - SEASON 2 3: A HEAD IN THE POLLS - C4 PREMIERE 31.07.01, 18:00 THE ONE WHERE Bender sells his titanium-rich body when the value of titanium rises astronomically. Meanwhile, former president Richard Nixon stands for election against two clones. DEFINITE & POSSIBLE CUTS BY CHANNEL 4 DEFINITE CUTS BY SKY ONE -------------------- PX have gone to get registered to vote in the upcoming election, and are seeing the weird, wonderful and controversial parties that exist: (Amy goes to the party ‘Dudes for the Legalisation of Hemp’) AMY So, is it true that you can make all sorts of shirts and ropes out of hemp? PARTY REP (a stoned guy) Dave’s not here, man… AMY I also heard hemp makes great shampoo? PARTY REP It does?! No way! I gotta check out this brochure… (gets a burger out from under the desk and starts eating it) -------------------- Fry and Leela go to the ‘Voter Apathy Party’: FRY Now, here’s a party I can get excited about! Sign me up! PARTY REP (a bored guy) Sorry, not with that attitude. FRY (turns away) Okay then, screw it. PARTY REP (gets up, excited) Welcome aboard, brother! -------------------- Bender has just sold his body: FRY How are you going to live without a body? BENDER (scoffs) Bodies are for hookers and fat people. Except that C4 censored it badly, and it sounded more like ‘hat people’, who (if they existed) surely wouldn’t need bodies? ----------------- At the Head Museum: (Leela carries Bender’s head along a corridor, past ‘Movie stars’, ‘B-movie stars’, ‘porn stars’ and ‘TV stars’, who have a really battered sign above them) BENDER Now, which group of heads is good enough for me to hang out with? Fry? Fry? (he’s gone to see ‘Supermodels’’ heads) ----------------- In Presidents’ Heads: BENDER … this place has class! PRES. CLINTON (to Leela) Hey, sugar-cookie! You know, legally, nothing I can do counts as sex anymore! PRES. FORD I apologise for his rudeness, ma’am, he gets this way around meaty-looking women. ------------------ BENDER (finishing a joke to George Washington) … so then the hooker-bot says “that’s not my extension slot”, and my friend says, “that’s not my gold-plated 25-ping connector!” (both laugh) WASHINGTON Ah, Bender, thou robots really cracketh me up. ------------------ FRY I spent most of my teen years loving my body. Of course, most of it was tough love, but- LEELA (elbows him in the stomach so he stops talking) He [Nixon] opened up relations with China. He doesn’t want to hear about your ding-dong! ----------------- Nixon has just announced his candidacy for the election – with Bender’s body: BENDER That double-crossing bastard! How dare he run off with Richard Nixon! Strangely, Sky cut the whole line, but C4 only censored the one word. ----------------- Fry, Leela and Bender have burst into Nixon’s dressing room backstage at the debate to ask if they can have the body: NIXON Seriously though, I’m never giving back this body. Now, beat it, before I get Cambodian on your asses! ------------------ In Nixon’s room at the Watergate, during his incriminating rant: NIXON And once I’m swept into office, I’ll sell our children’s organs to zoos for meat, and go into people’s houses and wreck up the place! Mwahaha!! |
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