| Game Review Archive, Part Ten |
| December 3, 2002 vs Edmonton Geez Tim, thanks a lot for doing tonight's recap, that is a big help! Gaborik finally got an assist on Dupuis' goal in a Wild loss. --Kyle November 29, 2002 vs Colorado Nice bounce back to tie the Avs, Gaborik has not had an assist in a month, look for a splurge this December. November 27, 2002 vs Dallas Unfortunately, this was the most embarassing loss in Wild history, and it came at a time that let The Canucks takeover first place. November 25, 2002 vs. Vancouver Let us never speak of this again...Gaborik, no points in a Wild loss. November 23, 2002 vs. Nashville - HAT TRICK SPECIAL Marian Gaborik was not shown during the introduction to tonight's episode of SportsCenter. "...," a speechless fan said when told of the news. ESPN broadcaster Kenny Mayne later made a formal apology for this bad oversight. "We have had a tragedy tonight within our ESPN family, THE MAN was not featured during the intro to tonight's SC, the only part of SC worth watching," he said. ESPN2 did pick up the slack by renaming NHL 2Night to Marian Gaborik 2Night. All of this controversy occurred because of Gaborik's 4th career hat trick (how many does Sergei Federov have? 5?). Fox Sports Net elected not to show the game on TV, due to illogic. The small Eastern European Nation of Slovakia partied well into the night to celebrate Gaborik's accomplishment. Gaborik was very excited about his 4th hat trick. "I don't want to say that Nashville is a minor league team," he said, "but there defensive ability was primitive, I should have had 6 goals against these guys." (NOTE: The previous quote was not from Marian Gaborik, but from some dude wearing a Gaborik jersey, but we didn't get his name, sorry.) Asked what inspired tonight's performance, Gaborik said, "I saw the new Bond film, it was cool, there were car chases and explosions, so I got all excited and scored a bunch of goals on Nashville's (collective) ass." The SirMarian offices were really working hard tonight, but much of the staff was very dissapointed that highlights of the Western Kentucky-Arizona college basketball game preceded Wild highlights on SC. ESPN was voted worst network for the day by Sports Writers of America. Only 36 more tricks needed to tie Lemieux. November 21, 2002 vs. Washington THE MAN is in a bad scoring slump, he has not had an assist in many many games. But he is still tied for the league lead in goals, more next game. November 19, 2002 vs. Los Angeles Marian Gaborik had the best excuse to explain his 4-game pointless streak. "I saw that picture of Michael Jackson and his deteriorating nose, I haven't been able to do anything right since," the young NHLer said. After seeking many hours of therapy from a high-priced twin cities psychologist, Marian recovered and scored a goal against Felix Potvin. "It was nice to get over that startling image," Gaborik continued, "I am still not 100%, neither is the rest of the team." Gaborik needs to begin recording more assists to increase the lucrativity of his new contract with Wild, which may exceed 11.2 billion U.S. dollars (400 bilion canadian), making him more wealthy than most countries. The Wild travel to Washington, D.C. to play the Capitals on Thrusday. As per Marian's contract, he will sit in as Slovakia's representative at the UN meetings. November 16, 2002 vs Washington Great victory by the Wild tonight, great to see Jagr and Lemieux off of the scoresheets the past two games. However, THE MAN is in the middle of a scoring slump, so the SirMarian, Inc. offices have not been bustling as much as usual. That has not stopped the first ever SirMarian bashers to infest our guestbook. We decided to delete these entries because they said we suck. A person that goes by the unique handle "anonymous" recently called the two founders "obsessive", and described a lot of the content as "stupid." The other entry was from someone who is a poor speller, I suppose "disgrace" is complicated enough for most minds, but who knows. This person informed us that Marian was not born in Czechoslovakia (it was badly misspelled), the only thing is, that he was. He was born in Czecho-freakin-slovakia in 1982. The country today is known as Slovakia or Slovak Republic. So I guess I am done giving a history lesson to SirMarian bashers, I just hope that those are the only ones. I think those two were just passive-aggressive Wild haters who decided to bash the site instead of the actual player. So whilst we lick our wounds from our first ever disapproving web-o-philes, we may have to consider shutting this site down forever so as to not be known as social misfits. Plus, in a war-time economy, no one has time to maintain a website just for fun. November 14, 2002 vs Pittsburgh Solid goaltending by Johan Hedberg and Emmanuel Fernandez kept both legends, Marian Gaborik and Mario Lemieux, off the scoresheets. It was the greatest anti-climax ever in the history of sports. "...," a truly speechless fan said. Gaborik and Lemieux combined for 11 shots on net. The Wild probably should have won, but rookie Pierre-Marc Bouchard was the victim of a rediculous save by Hedberg. In other news, SirMarian co-creator Tim P. spends over 22 hours a week at school and sleeps only one hour a night. November 12, 2002 vs Edmonton Finally, a loss that was NOT embarassing! Gaborik had some great chances but Tommy Salo was solid. Most important game in Wild history on Thursday... November 10, 2002 vs Anaheim Don't feel bad Marian, not just you were shut out, the whole team was. The Wild were shut out for the first time in 35 games, dating back to last season as they lost a heartbreaker to the Mighty Ducks, 1-0. To be honest, this is the first game I've been able to watch in over a week, and I want my money back. This could have been possibly the most boring Wild game ever. The scoring was finished for the game after Stanislav Chistov's (WHO?) 4th goal of the year at 6:35 in the first period. Don't get me wrong, I like a good defensive game every now and then, (Manny sure wasted a gem in the net, stopping 37 of 38 shots), but there were only 5 penalties also, 3 of which were in the first period. At least if I can't see any goal scoring, show me some glove dropping. I guess our organized crime did take the night off, since Matt Johnson was suspended tonight for a hit in last night's win over San Jose. But I would give anyone to see Richard Park or Ronning rumble with Olausson or even Vishnevski. Give the crowd what they want, or at least what I want. Enough ranting, make sure to check out the Wild at 7:00 at the Xcel on Tuesday night as they take on Edmonton. --Tim |
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