Game Review Archive

October 31st, 2001 vs Nashville Predators
What can I say? I enjoy a good hockey game as much as anyone, but this was an exception. So, the Wild lost. It's bound to happen sometimes. The team is human. The last people who claimed to be bigger than Jesus were the Beatles, and even they would probably lose a few games (editor's note: Marian never claimed to be bigger than Jesus; actions speak louder than words). Manny gave up a few goals, sure. The Three Wise Men fought with such ferocity that I actually think that Kimmo Timonen may have peed a little in his breezers, but it just wasn't quite enough. I was beginning to give up hope on Gaborik's point streak, but he came through in the end. Gaborik tallied a goal in this otherwise disappointing contest, enlarging his Wild-leading point total to an orgasmic 13 points. "That's hockey," Sergei Zholtok said. "Every one gets injuries. We have a system, a defensive system and it shouldn't matter that we are missing guys. We lost tonight because we got outworked in our own end." "By our own end, I mean the end of our hockey rink. If Gaborik was contributing, most of the end would be trying to get The Man's phone number. And by end I mean the hot women in the stands trying to get a piece." * The game was interesting, but people who watched the game know, as I do, that the true high point of the telecast was the appearance of the Dukes of Deliciousness themselves, that's right, BEN AND JERRY, of ice cream fame. That in itself was worth the price of the beer that I consumed during the game. By the way, Happy Halloween. 'Tis the season to be afraid, and although the Wild's performance tonight didn't actually SCARE me, it made me a bit sad. All I know is Marian scored a goal, and thats all I need to sleep soundly....Until the Avalanche on Friday. Also, Marian got action tonight.

November 2nd, 2001 vs Colorado Avalanche
What better way to treat the biggest crowd in Minnesota hockey history than a commanding 4-2 vicory over the Colorado Avalanche. The weather was warm, the wind was subtle, the fans were in their seats cheering on their heros, and the Wild were disposing of the Stanley Cup Champions with relative ease. I'll have to admit the Wild didn't play their best hockey of the year. With the kind of offensive skill Colorado possesses, the defense needed to be in overdrive. Much of the time on the ice was spent in the Wild end, dispersing the barrage of bullets being shot at them. Rookie goalie Dwayne Roloson easily earned Player of the Game by turning away 32 out of 34 shots. "I really wanted to win this one for Marian." said an ecstatic Roloson, "I see how many women he gets, and I can only imagine it's because of his stellar play. So I figured I would try it out, and brother, I am going to be busy tonight. This one's for you, Gabby!" What impressed me also was the Wild's willingness to sacrifice their bodies by blocking many of the rockets on net. I must have counted over twenty blocks, where in this day of age, you'll be lucky to see five in a game. Damn overinflated egos. Screw teeth, they're overrated. But the story of the night, obviously, was the exceptional play of The Three Wise Men. The line of Dowd, Brunette and The Man tallied two goals and three assists on their way to victory. Gaborik, with one of the assists, kept his points streak alive at five games. His assist kept him atop the NHL leaders with ten power play points, and 14 points in all. Oh, and one other thing, the goals by Brunette and Dowd both gave them five for the year, tying him with Gaborik for the team lead. I can assure you that although any goal is a good goal, none is sweeter than one by The Man. So Andy and Jimmy, keep that in mind. You know what I'm talking about.

November 4th, 2001 vs Edmonton Oilers
NO RECAPAVAILABLE - Excuse: Tim blows.

November 6th, 2001 vs NY Rangers
Damn Rangers. I was hoping the Wild (aka Marian) would take one away from their rival at their house. But to no avail, our offence continued to be as confusing as Marian's little black book. He is the only man I know with more than two women under Q. (Besides Sam Malone of course, Marian's Idol). "Hey, what can I say, Sammy is a ladies man, someone who I mold myself after. When good ol' Woody is up to his usual antics, Sam is out there scaming some hot chick to sleep with him. God Bless American Television." The Wild lost a heartbreaker in New York 3-1 behind a team high 6 shots from The Man. One plus was the fact that Manny Fernandez looked quite a bit more confident and in control guarding the net. Hopefully the Wild can bounce back tomorrow and beat Boston, who we already dismantled once earlier this season.

November 8th, 2001 vs Boston Bruins
The Wild broke out of their embarrassing slump by scoring 4 goals in the first 17 minutes of the game in a much-needed 5-3 win over the Boston Bruins.   Dwayne (not Wayne) Roloson stopped a Wild record 56 shots in the game to wrap up the victory. "In the end, the shot difference did not matter," Wild coach Jacques Lemaire said. "Boston had good chances and Rolly (goaltender Dwayne Roloson) had to be strong." I guess The Man is not the only one with a nickname on the Wild anymore. *sob* The Three Wise Men combined for a whopping 6 points, managing 3 goals and 3 assists against the much feared Bruins. Marian, however did not account for any of the points, which is all good. For The Man was taught in kindergarten that sharing is the key to life, and he, not being the selfish bastard that a nameless M. Lemeiux is, was gallant in his efforts to let everyone be included. I have said it many times, but the off-season pick-up of Andrew Brunette has been one of the Wild's best moves ever. His two goals and two assists tied a Wild record of 4 points in a game. So my hats of to you, Mr. Brunette, for a game well played. Not like that of that Bill Guerin dude, who had 12 shots, and not even a measly assist to account for. His double spearing minor, roughing and double roughing minor weren't too comforting for the crowd of 12,000 at the Boston Gardens. Mr. Guerin, I thought you were supposed to be...I don't know...good? For that kind of money, we could buy 4 Gaboriks with a Brunette left over and kick the living [snot] out of you. I'm looking forward to hosting the Vancouver Canucks at the X-Cel on Sunday afternoon. It should be a walk in the park for the newly energized Wild. Expect The Man to have another multiple point game. One more thing, quoting the greatest movie of all time: "These guys aren't too frickin' bad."

November 11th, 2001 vs Vancouver Canucks
NO RECAP AVAILABLE - Excuse: Kyle was in Birmingham, England and Tim had this to say, "I am not really into computers anymore".

November 13th, 2001 vs Atlanta Thrashers
Answer: 6,7,8...41,42,43...700,701,702. What is the conbination to the air lock on planet Druidia, Alex? No, I'm sorry. The correct answer is: What are the goals Marian Gaborik scored in last night's game, the end of the season, and the end of his career, or at least into next decade (thanks Derek). Natural Hat Trick. (n.) When a god-like hockey player scores three straight goals in a game. See also, The Man. The Man never fails me. When I forsee a multiple point game, like last night, Marian comes through for me. I guess you could call it ESP, or extra sensory perception, for all you non-schooled types.   Thats right, Marian scored three goals in a 4-2 victory at the sold out X-Cel Tuesday Night, ending a five game goal-less streak. What a way to break a slump. This was the Wild's second hat trick in team history, the other by Antti Laaksonen. At 17 points, Gaborik is tied for 7th in the NHL. The Three Wise Men, or as another Wild fan has coined, The Lucky Charms, have 48 points, or 40 percent of the Wild's production. What a line. I know a lot of you are disappointed for lack of updates of each game...but I have had a family tradgedy...so as soon as I can, I will be on the ball bringing you 100% coverage of The Man and his rise to superstardom. Thanks for being patient.

November 14th, 2001 vs Colorado Avalanche
NO RECAP AVAILABLE - Excuse: Tim sucks.

November 16th, 2001 vs Detroit Red Wings
Marian faced the Detroit Red Wings tonight, too bad his teammates did not come to the rink with him. Marian picked up two assists in an 8-3 loss to Detroit. The Wild are now in last place and look awful. "We are now in last place and look awful", Wild Captain Filip Kuba said after the game. "What do I have to do to get a decent player on my team? For crying out loud! We are now only four points ahead of woeful Columbus in the standings, this is starting to get rediculous...God, send me skaters!" "This sucks, I hate losing", Gaborik said. "This really sucks, I really hate losing", Wild coach Jacques Lemaire said. "This is fucking bullshit", Wild forward Segei Zholtok said. "I feel OK", Detroit goalie Manny Legace said, "but it sure would suck to be a Minnesota Wild fan right now, at least that Gaborik guy is playing pretty well." He is, the Wild as a team are not, eight goals in one game? Who are we? Columbus? Nah! Get it together before SirMarians closes its doors due to lack of a good team for our favorite NHLer.

November 18th, 2001 vs Los Angeles Kings
Marian has always played well in Southern California. Sunday night was no exception. The Man notched a goal and assist, both on the power play, as the Wild blew the 2-0 lead and finished with a 2-2 against LA. Marian's assist and goal were very impressive tonight, featheirng a nice pass to help set up Segei Zholtok via Darby Hendrickson in the first period. A few minutes later, Marian crashed the net and took a nice pass from Andrew Brunette for the one-timer goal. After he scored, if you watched closely on the TV, you could see Marian jump off the ice and make a basketball shooting motion, and then (for all you lip-readers out there), he said, "count it". Marian also had some chances to score later in the game, but that was all the scoring that the Wild could muster for this game. It was Marian's sixth multiple point game of the season. Oh yeah, he was first star of the game as well, his second first star in the past four games. "The Coyotes are as good as beaten on Tuesday, you hear me? frickin' dead!", Marian retorted at the end of the press conference. We hope so.

November 20th, 2001 vs Phoenix Coyotes
Marian scored the only goal for the Wild in a 2-1 overtime loss to Phoenix before a whopping crowd of 10,000 at America West arena. The Man now has five goals in his last five games. The Wild play San Jose next. Because of some managerial problems here at SirMarian, updates may be sparse and infrequent. We will get our act together by mid-December, promise.

November 21st, 2001 vs San Jose Sharks
I'm back from my week long hiatus, which I apologize for. I was out of town until last night. However, more importantly, Manny's back. (cue "we love Manny" music). Mr. Fernandez has been pretty inconsistant for most of the season, sparking Wild coach J. Lamaire to utilize his rookie goaltender Dwayne "Wayne" Rolofson. And he has answered the call. But it just wouldn't be the Wild without Emanual. It's like when you order pizza, but all you get is the sauce and cheese, in a bag. Its not all there, so you can't call it pizza, but rather bag of cheese and sauce. Oh, and its a ziplock bag, but not the real kind, one of those cheap rip-offs. Tonight was exactly what MF (don't even...dirty minds don't add up to anything but dirty children.) needed to gain confidence, a road win against a very tough San Jose line-up.   And whats even sweeter was the fact that it was a shutout, the final score being 2-0. I am pretty upset for not being able to update the site, because, first and formost, i am going to get an ass kickin' from a certain individual, but also because of the hot streak Marian has been on. With 22 points in his first 20 games, Gabby doesn't even know what a sophomore jinx is. No, really, he has no idea what that means. He's coming out like a veteran every night, taking over the controls of the Wild's new-found offensive charge. And keep in mind that the reason I started following MG was because he was YOUNGER than me. I know how much Jacques L. doesn't like having too much exposure and putting too much pressure on him, but one of these years, he's going to have to buckle down and slap the ol' C on pimpmaster G.   "Look at THIS freakin' guy."