| quote of the times archive 1) "Do you have Prince Albert in a can?...Well you better let him out, ha ha ha!" -Marian Gaborik during a prank phone call to Ken Hitchcock, head coach of the Dallas Stars 2) " 'Flames' used to be a cool name (for a team), but now it is associated with homosexuality, so it isn't as cool anymore, maybe they should consider changing their name to 'Fire', or the 'Arsonists', or something like that, I think it would be hard to say 'I am a Flame' without snickering." -Wild enforcer Matt Johnson during a post-game interview 3) "Sex on television can't hurt you... unless you fall off." -Wild winger Marian Gaborik, on the entertainment industry 4) "If you are going to act like a b$tch, I am going to treat you like one." -Wild coach Jacques Lemaire during one of his many on-ice scuffles with referee Brad Meier 5) "You eat pieces of sh$t for breakfast?!" -Marian's response to Mike York of the NY Rangers, after York challenged him to phone number-getting contest at a bar in New York City and said, after the handshake, "I eat pieces of sh$t like you for breakfast". Marian won the 30-minute contest 31 to 2 6) "You called down the thunder, well now you got it!" -Marian's reaction to the pregame boasting of the Edmonton Oilers in St. Paul, MN, on October 14, 2001 7) "You know why the bride always wears white? Because it is important for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator." -Marian entertaining Wild teammates Jim Dowd and Andrew Brunette in St. Paul, MN, on October 24, 2001, before their game against the Carolina Hurricanes 8) "You know what happens to popular people?...They get fat." -Marian's reply after an announcer was overheard saying that Marian wasn't as popular as Marian Hossa 9) "I think hockey would be a much more interesting sport if players had to use their arms instead of a stick of wood." -Marian after he was asked if he had any ideas on how to make hockey more appealing to midgets and senior citizens 10) "No, I'm just exhausted because I've been up all night drinking." -Patrick Roy after team captain Joe Sakic asked "Are you drunk?" 11) "Taste that? That's the taste of beach justice!" -Marian Gaborik after he successfully captured a purse snatcher on the beach and shoved the thief's face in the scorching-hot sand 12) "Sorry fellas, I'm afraid you are just too darn loud...next please." -Red Wings goalie Dominik Hasek while judging a battle of the bands competition in Hill Valley, CA over the 2001 summer 13) "Nice velocity." "Sounded like it." -Overheard at Marian's first practice with the Wild, after his shot nearly took off Wes Walz's head. 14) "Boy you may pass like Gretzky but you skate like shit." -Wild Coach Jacques Lemaire, talking to Wild player Sylvain Blouin after his first practice with the team. 15) "That's what you think, I got 10 more copies of that tape..." -Wild second-year player Marian Gaborik blackmailing Colorado's Eric Messier. 16) "Would you mind slouching down? My date's in a wheelchair." -Colorado player Brian Willsie to some guy sitting in the row in front of him and his date while at the movies. 17) "Hey, lookin' for a good time sweet cheeks?" "Peter, get in the car!" "Ok, but it'll cost ya! Whadduya want, a Cleveland Steamer? "I said get in the Ca....whats a Cleveland Steamer? "Woa...woa...woa, be cool, be cool, the cops are driving by. So yeah, you go to Maple Street and then take a left and then ah.....you go ah.....ok, so you wanna party or what?" "Get in this car right now!!" -Colorado player Peter Forsberg, accidentally running into his wife on the strret while he tries out other job opportunities for life after hockey. 18) "Contract? Extention? The?" -Detroit player Chris Chelios going over his new contract for the 2001-2002 season. Just proving once again that all Red Wings are idiots. 19) "Damn it feels good to be a ganster." -Andrew Brunette after being told that he has had eight points in his last nine games 20) "Hey guys, big gulps huh? well, see ya." -Wild coach Jacques Lemaire to a group of youths while he and assistant coach Mike Ramsey were waiting outside a 7-11 21) "What place did they finish last year? Oh, that's right, dead last. I am so scared." -Interim Vikings head coach Mike Tice after being asked to speculate how the Wild will do on their upcoming February 10th game against the New York Islanders 22) "Could somebody please give me a hand with all of this talent?" -Wild forward Marian Gaborik while entering the XCel Energy Center on Sunday, January 6th, 2001 23) "Pipe down Broadzilla." -Marian Gaborik to a female reporter after she asked a question about the save Martin Biron of Buffalo made on Marian's second-period breakaway 24) "He has now coached in 600 NHL games, that's almost 800 NHL games!" -Marian Gaborik on Wild coach Jaques Lemaires' recent career milestone 25)"That's Gay" -St. Paul Contractor Ted Brogan after waking up on Monday, January 14th and reading in the newspaper that the Wild lost 3-1 to Dallas on Sunday night 26) "Great! Now you can be somewhere else when the boys don't call." - Former head coach of the Dallas Stars Ken Hitchcock to his 16 year-old daughter after she told him that she made the flag-girl squad at school 27) "I'm Priceless." - Marian Gaborik after telling really funny jokes to his YoungStars teammates on Friday, February 1st, 2002, in Los Angeles, CA 29) "I'd like to move us right along to a 'Marian Gaborik'. We had a chance to meet this young man, and boy that's just a straight shooter with upper management written all over him..." - Team consultant Bob Slydell going over Marian's annual performance review with Wild coach Jacques Lemaire and fellow consultant Bob Tverdovski. Lemaire was skeptical of Bob's comment 30) (melodically) "Cuz I got high, cuz I got high, cuz I got high..." -Theoren Fluery 31) (this week it is more of an anecdote) Tiny: Marian! How you doin'? Marian Gaborik: Hey Tiny, who's playing tonight? Tiny: Jolly Green Giants, The Sh@tty Beatles. Marian Gaborik: The Sh@tty Beatles? Are they any good? Tiny: They suck. Marian Gaborik: Then it's not just a clever name. Everyone: *laughter* -Marian's conversation with QUEST bouncer Tiny Richardson Thursday night. Mario Lemieux: I'm much better at video hockey. Marian Gaborik: That's not a sport. Lemieux: It requires hand and eye coordination. Gaborik: It's not a sport if you don't sweat. Lemieux: What about golf? It's a sport and you don't sweat. Gaborik: It's not a sport if you let the machine do all the work. Lemieux: What about car racing? Gaborik: Shut up, Mario! -Overheard during practice before the Wild-Penguins game, Novemeber 14, 2002 in St. Paul, MN. Pierre-Marc Bouchard: Marian, there is a message in my Alpha Bits. It says, "OOOOO"! (in a creepy voice) Marian Gaborik: Pierre-Marc, those are cheerios. -Conversation during breakfast before the game against the Stars in Dallas, TX. Jim: Okay, insert rod support A into slot B. Mike: That's what sh... Jim: If you say "that's what she said" one more time, I am going to punch you. -American Airlines Center workers Jim and Mike while putting together the net before the Wild-Stars game, Nov. 27. Ziggy Palffy: I guess I have a lot to ponder. Marian Gaborik: The results are in amigo. What's left to ponder? [ZP glares at MG] MG: Nice Comeback! Ha ha. -A confrontation bewtween Gaborik and Ziggy Palffy, who stole Gaborik's spot on the all-star roster last year. This year Gaborik got the better of Ziggy once the NHL announced voting stats for the 2003 weekend |
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