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Stories of the Road

SOME HOME GROWN STORIES!!!!

  "The Windrider"

The rain had finally subsided into a mild howling when the lone biker rode into the deserted campground. The ride had been long and hard. More than 700 miles today through the rain and wind. Now, as the rider pulled in for her final stop of the day her body screamed out. Every muscle in her taunt frame was fatigued.

The sun had already set by the time she pulled into her grassy campsite. Trees lined the site and made the spot seem even darker than it was. That was fine with the rider. Her body ached for the calm and the quiet. All she wanted to do was get off of the throbbing rock of hot iron she had been stradling for the past 25 days.

The trip had begun as a motorcycling getaway. Just fun filled days of leisurely riding to see the land. There was no schedule, no plan. Just a few days to get away from the job and the hectic city life. However, within two days of starting out, she felt an urgency in her riding. She felt the desire to ride hard, long and fast. For reasons unknown and undefinable to her, she had been pushing herself for these past 25 days. Maybe she was testing herself. Maybe she was punishing herself. She didn't know. All she knew was that tonight she had to stop. She needed to get off the bike and enjoy the feel of a warm fire and the pleasure of sleeping for more than two hours.

The campground she had entered was empty but for one lone mini van at the other end of the grounds. She had spotted the elderly couple sitting at their campfire as she rumbled past. Looks of disgust crossed their faces as she pounded passsed; her exhaust pipes announcing her presence. "So what else is new?", she thought. She had seen those same faces in every town she passed through. Different people, same faces. People usually snubbed their noses at the lone rider. They could not understand why a woman would ever have the desire to ride a motorcycle.....let alone want to ride around the country without a man leading the way!! She laughed at herself as she thought about it. She dismounted from her ride and allowed the pleasureable feeling of blood rushing down into her legs flow over her. It felt good to stop for the night.

It didn't take long to unpack the bike. Her saddlebags carried a few basics; minimal clothing and a toothbrush. Her bedroll consisted of a sleeping bag and a tarp. Her nights had been spent tucked in her sleeping bag lying next to the bike. Her tarp covered both she and her ride, protecting both from the rains and the heavy morning dew. On those few occasions when she did lie down to rest for a few hours she would lie up close to the motorcycle enjoying the last remainder of warmth coming from the exhaust pipes. She would lie quietly, listening to the pinging of the engine cooling and imagining that she could actually hear the heart beat emanating from the Valkyrie that rested beside her.

It took but a few minutes to set up her camp and a few more to gather enough wood for a small fire. One just big enough to provide warmth for one, nothing more. With a strike of a match her mind settled and ragged nerve endings began to quiet their war path dance. The fire caught quickly and soon the fire's heat and glow began to soften her leathered edges. Within moments the last 25 days began to melt away. She relaxed and felt at peace with herself and her machine.

The lone rider hadn't been relaxing for long when the glare of a car's high beamed headlights pulled into her little sanctuary. Without turning down the beams a figure stepped from the car carrying a flashlight with an equally disturbing beam. Cracking underbrush announced the advancing offender. "Hey, you buddy", a voice from the dark beckoned. "Hey, buddy, you there on the bike. You can't be in this campground. Didn't you see the sign at the entrance? It says No Motorcycles." His voice seemed hesitant. A hint of fear edged through. "Hey, buddy, didn't you hear me. No bikes are allowed in this campground. It's a family campground and we don't permit guys on bikes...especially loud ones." His fear was more obvious now. His flashlight scanned he site seeking out the person to whom he was directing his attack. Finally, his light fell on the lone female leaning up against the motorcycle. "Hey lady, are YOU the one riding the bike?" he asked in disbelief. The lone rider gave him a barely noticeable nod of her head. Realizing that the rider was a female he began to gain his confidence. When he pulled into the site he had feared that his path would cross that of a burly rider. But, a mere woman...!!! No problem, he thought to himself. "What are you, some kind of God damned retard or something? Can't you read?", he asked feeling in total control of the situation. "Pack your shit and get the hell out of here", he said as he stepped boldly into the rider's sanctuary. As he moved closer towards the fire he shined his light directly into the rider's face. Their eyes met for but a moment but that was all that was necessary. The park ranger dropped his light from the woman's face and stumbled backwards. He quickly began to fumble his way back toward his vehicle. "You need to pack up and get the hell out right now. I want you out before I get through my next rounds. Got that?", he hollered over his shoulder as he scrambled to his car. He jumped into the car and floored it back out of the site throuwing dirt and sticks in its wake. Through this barrage the lone rider never spoke nor had she even shifted her weight from one foot to another. She had only looked at the ranger when he shined his light in her face. He saw the days of endless riding, the hours of enduring. The lack of sleep, the lack of food and the lack of social contact. He saw her face and he was afraid.

The rider stood for a moment contemplating the events that had just taken place. In the matter of less than 2 minutes her respite had been shattered. Experience told her that the ranger would indeed be back and even though she knew he would not try to 'make' her leave he would make her stay here an unpleasant one at best. With that, she kicked dirt into her small fire snuffing out the heart of her little paradise. She was packed in minutes and mounted up. As she rode out of the campground she again passed the elderly couple by their fire. She popped her throttle as she passed allowing the bark of her mufflers to disturb them yet again. She drove out slowly from the grounds. As she approached the exit the ranger with the intrusive flashlight stood by his car near the ranger station. She stopped at the exit gate and met his gaze. Again, she cranked on the throttle creating a cacophany of deafening sound from the rear of the big Honda. The ranger dropped his eyes from her. With that she pulled away driving slowly. The ranger did not look up.

The dark night closed in around the lone rider. The evening's events had added to her unease. Her legs felt like lead and her hands tingled from the vibrations in the bike. She needed to stop.....to find another campground. No....that wouldn't work. It was too late at night and her reception would be the same. She would simply pull off to the side of the road to camp. She had done it before and tonight would be no different. With this in mind she began scanning the roadsides for a suitable spot. The wind had picked up and flashes of sheet lightening were beginning to cross the skies ahead. Rain. Rain would add insult to her injuries this evening. With her head down into the wind, she rode ahead toward the oncoming clouds. As the rider scanned for a spot, sheet lightening flashed a sihoulette ahead. A barn...a great monolith of a barn off to her left. Bingo! she thought to herself as she accelerated ahead. Gravel crunched under her tires as she rode alongside the building keeping time with the thunder gaining momentum off in the distance. She could see no other buildings around and in fact, closer inspection proved that the barn had not been used in quite some time. Though the roof looked to be intact, the interior smelled of old livestock long since gone, and musty hay. She rode the bike through an open doorway. The door was gone but the entrance was on the lee side of the wind. No rain would touch her tonight!

She parked her bike and again began the process of cutting the umbilical cord that connected the two of them during this trip. She dismounted and stamped her feet in an attempt to get the tingling to stop. The stamping sent up little wisps of dust from the dirt floor. Looking up she realized that the building was massive inside, easily three stories and open. As her eyes began to adjust to the darkness she noticed piles of old wood off to the side. Probably the remains of the big barn doors that were missing. "A fire", she thought. The floor was dirt and the roof was high. She could make a small fire. "This evening might be salvageable after all", she said to herself. Gathering some of the more manageable pieces of tinder dry wood, she made a small pile and struck her match. The collection caught quickly and within moments the fire drove away the shadows and ghosts of the night. A gust blew through the open doorway and swirled dust and sparks monentarily, but it died away as quickly as it came. The rain began to fall pelting heavily off of the metal sheathed roof. The sound sent a shiver through the rider's body. It felt good to be inside away from prying eyes. She pushed the bike into the shadows then settled herself into a pile of old straw that was heaped inside the room. Indeed, it felt good to be inside. She looked into the fire then over to the bike. It sat pinging gently to itself as it cooled. She turned back to her fire and allowed her eyes to droop.

"It feels good to be out of the rain after a long ride doesn't it?", a quiet voice spoke out from a dark shadowy place. The sound sent the rider immediately to her feet scanning the room in search of the origin of the voice. Or was it a voice? Was it real or imagined? She had been sleeping hadn't she? She continued scanning, her breath coming in short gasps. "Relax", came the voice again. "You're safe here." "Who...where....?", stammered the rider. She heard a shuffling around as the man behind the voice got to his feet back in the shadows and then stepped forward into the small circle of firelight. "Stay back from me", the rider ordered. "Like I said, relax", he repeated. "I'm no danger to you. The others......those out there, are you enemies, not me", he added nodding his head toward the open barn door. "Wh..wh..what are you doing in here?", the rider demanded. "Well, lady, looks to be about the same thing you're doing in here...gettin' in out of the rain and the dark", explained the man. He shot a thumb over his shoulder in the direction he had walked from. In the murky shadows she could barely make out the outline of a motorcycle standing near the wall. "Been riding a long time", he said. "I needed somewhere to stop for the night to get out of this storm that was blowing up. I figured this looked pretty good." He stepped further into the light. The fire was between them and he was able to see her more clearly. Her gaze never left his eyes. His eyes scanned over her. He saw the miles of road flying beneath her, the weight of the bike pulling on her arms. He saw the toll she was paying. "I see that you've been on the road a while too", he commented in a barely audible whisper. He continued to meet her gaze and in those moments, years of understanding passed between them. She saw the rugged edge to his face, and the deep set, piercing blue eyes. She saw the way the sun had tanned his skin to a rich brown and how that same sun had set the small wrinkles around his eyes, giving off and air of experience and knowing. He was tall and his browned arms pulled the material of his shirt tight in the sleeves and across his chest. His long hair was a rich brown also, with small flecks of gray beginning to appear at his temples. It hung loose and full about his shoulders; small wisps of old straw were caught in it's entanglement. She dropped her eyes from him, feeling a flush rising to her cheeks and ears. She sat back in her spot in the musty straw. "Do you mind if I join you at your fire?", he asked quietly and in a humbled tone. She shook her head and motioned for him to to sit. He walked back to the shadows and pulled a small blanket up to the fire. He settled himself in the old straw across the flames from her. Sitting close enough to study the young woman he had just encountered, yet away from her personal space. She watched him with a wary eye. She was neither in the mood for company nor small talk. The dark haired man sensed her air of solitude and he sat quietly.

The minutes ticked away as the two loners, thrown together by nature's circumstances, sat mutely, each on their own side of the fire. The woman tried not to stare at the rugged stranger. She was exhausted and needed sleep, but her wariness of this man combined with the disturbing rush she was feeling by being in his presence, worked against her sleepy inclinations. The man could feel her eyes upon him. He looked up and met her gaze. "I've been on the road a long time", was all she managed to say. "It's eating away at you isn't it?", he asked quietly. "You start off on a leisurely trip to do a little exploring and the next thing you know your whole world has turned upside down." His voice, low and gravely, drew her deeper into his world. His words struck a nerve with the woman and she sat more upright, more alert. "I know where you've been and where you're coming from, because I have been there and back. Whatever it is you are looking for..........it ain't out there lady." His voice had remainly subdued as he spoke. With every little movement of his head his thick hair fell forward and he continually brushed it back from his eyes. The woman watched, drinking in his every move, not knowing why she was so drawn to this man...this stranger who for all outward appearances was frightening. She continued to sit without speaking. "You see, I was just like you once. Nice motor, time on my hands and the world on my front door step. I can see it all in your eyes. You've got a longing in your bones and you ain't got no idea what is causing it or how to satisfy it." She continued to watch him.....watching the words escaping from his lips; his leathery hands as he continued to brush back his hair; and watching the fire that flared in his eyes each time they met hers. "That was 15 odd years ago and I ain't never been back home. As long as I can keep a little money in my pocket, gas in my motor and my heart pounds in my chest, I'll continue that search." As he spoke he pounded his fist on his chest causing the woman to start and catch her breath. With that he turned his attention to the fire, poking around the dwindling flames with a stick. After many minutes he spoke again......"Go home young miss.......while you still can and time is still your friend. Go home." He raised his head and met her gaze. The fire glinted off the moisture building in his eyes. "Go home......". Everything that the woman had been through during the past weeks came flooding over her. The long days, the heat, the cold, the rain....the endless hours of riding, searching, wondering.....It finally came together. THIS was what she had been searching for. This meeting, with this man, in the middle of nowhere on a stormy night. She stood and walked over to the man. He continued to push the dying ashes around with a stick. She knelt before him and with her hand, lifted his chin and looked into his eyes. His gaze was so intense she was frightened for an instant. She was so close. She could feel his breath on her face. She took his face in both of her hands and leaned forward and kissed him lightly on the lips. Fireworks exploded in her brain.....time stood still yet pictures of her journey flashed through her brain. Yes...this is what she had been searching for. Her search had taken her from one ocean to another, yet here it ended, in a desolate barn in the middle of a rain storm. "I've been searching for 15 years...." was all he managed to say as he clutched her in a passion's embrace and dragged her to him, crushing her against his chest. He kissed her full and hard on the mouth, almost as if he dare not believe that she was here. Her head was spinning, she couldn't breathe. Her heart was racing but she knew she could not, would not fight this feeling welling up inside of her. She reached her hands into his hair, grabbing great fistsful and pulled him tighter to her. She opened her heart and her being to this man...this stranger.....this gift from the Gods! She pushed the stranger back onto his makeshift bed of old straw. Pulling back she saw the fire in his eyes, the wanting on his lips. "This......," she said in a bare whisper. "This is what I have been searching for." She leaned over him, her hair dragging across his face and kissed him lightly, first on the mouth and then moved slowly over his weathered face. She watched him as he watched her move; the meager light from the fire sparkling in his eyes. She sat up, straddling his tight frame, and began to unbutton her cotton shirt now covered with old straw. "Wait", said the stranger in a raspy voice. "More wood...we need more wood on the fire. I want to watch you. I want to see you. I want to watch you make love to me." He laid still for a moment more. "I have seen every breathingtaking sight that this country has to show me these passed 15 years," he began, "yet nothing will compare to the beauty of this, of you, and of this moment." The woman moved to the fire and added more wood as requested, poking and stirring the dwindling flames until it sparked to life again. The dry wood caught quickly and within moments was burning brightly. Standing with her back to the fire, the rider continued her mission of unbuttoning her shirt. Her hands shook but she was not afraid. She was eager, she was wanting and she was needy. Yes, needy was how she felt. She needed this man, this night, this fire. It felt as if God had predestined this to happen. Her shirt was open and she slowly pulled it back revealing her anxious and ample breasts cupped ever so delicately in their protective lingerie. The stranger stood and walked over to her, immediately cupping her breasts in his hands and kising her again, hard on the mouth. She grabbed for his arms to keep from falling backwards and she felt the strength and power under his shirt sleeves. He grabbed at the material of her underclothes and pulled, tearing the thin band of cloth that held his prize intact. Without restraints, her breasts stood proud and eager. Like a man possessed, he dropped to his knees and buried his face into her chest, holding her tightly against himself. She heard him breathe deeply, smelling the erotic mixture of all that she was. His mouth found its way to first one nipple and then the other, nuzzling and cooing under his breath. His pleasure was obvious and she tilted her head back and clutched his head to her. He looked up at her and their gaze met yet again. Only this time, there was no fear, no wariness in her look, only wanting. "I want you to make love me", escaped from his lips and he pulled her to the ground beside him. Time seemed to stand still for the rider. Every move was in slow motion as the night hours ticked away. She watched as he stripped the clothes from her body. She watched as his mouth explored her; explored her mouth, her neck, her breasts. She watched the fire light dance off of his sweat glistened back as he buried his face into her, touching places that had never been touched before. And she watched his face.......never closing her eyes or taking her gaze away from his as he entered her, thrusting into her again and again. Visions of the past month passed through her mind in a kaleidoscope of colors and fragrances and textures. She felt herself building and rising. She felt the tightening in her and her need to release everything that had been building up in her these passed weeks. Suddenly, in an explosive moment she cried out clutching the stranger. She rose to meet his trusts as the sweat from his naked chest dripped onto hers. In an instant he was with her, crying out and burying himself into her. As suddenly as the thunder that clapped outside, it was over. They lay together atop the old straw, in an old barn, while the rain thundered down around them. Neither dared to speak for fear the spell would be broken. After many moments the rider dared to speak. "I don't even know your name. I finally find the man I have searched for my entire life, I share the most exhilarating experience of my life yet I don't even know your name." He lay beside her so quietly that she feared he was asleep. Then, as he slowly opened his eyes he replied, "I am the Wind Rider and I have always been with you. You only had to search as far as your arms could reach. I have always been here, always with been with you. Across every mile, every highway, ever river, I have been there." And with that he closed his eyes. She watched him as he lay beside her breathing slowly. She looked over his taunt body and the magnificance that it held within. She watched him until she could no longer keep her eyes open, and she fell asleep safely wrapped in his arms.

Morning broke early and fresh.....as God's first day would have been like. The rider opened her eyes expecting to see the Wind Rider by her side. He was not! He was gone! She sat up quickly and looked about. There was not a trace of him. His blankets were gone, his motorcycle....him! How could he have left without her knowing, without her hearing him? Why would he leave? She stood quickly and ran to the open doorway and gazed out into the glorious morning....fresh, new...a new beginning. Suddenly she realized that the Wind Rider had not left....he had never been there. The Wind Rider was within her, was part of her and would always be there with her. She smiled into the wind and turned towards the rising sun. In the distance she thought she heard the thunder of an old motorcycle riding endlessly down a dusty highway. She turned toward her bike and began to pack her gear, smiling. It would be a long ride home!!

"Unbridled"

“Please, don’t”, she repeated again. “I don’t want you to do this to me.”

“I don’t believe you” was the young man’s reply. “You can’t expect me to think you don’t want me inside of you can you? I have been reading you like an open book…..with pictures!” His words were harsh and breathy as he held her hard against the back of the closed kitchen door. “And now, now I know. You said it with your own mouth. You feel it too. I knew you felt it. I could see it in your eyes. I felt it at the lab that day, and I’m not going to let you talk yourself out of it,” he said. His body was flush against hers crushing her tightly against the creaking wood. He alternated between speaking and biting her neck, his tongue lolling around her ear lobes and the area where her jaw met the downward flow of her neckline. His was holding her tightly against the door by the upper part of her arms. “I’ve watched you with the other kids. You don’t treat them the way you treat me.” He continued to break between sentences to lick at her neck and troll with his tongue. “You have wanted this for months now. I can tell by the way you’ve looked at me, the way you touch me when you talk. I can see it in your eyes and you’re just too damn afraid to admit it”, he said. The young skin on his face barely held a noticeable growth of whiskers, not even enough to need a daily shave. This was the face that continually rubbed against her neck and cheek. She could feel the semi-soft down of those whiskers. She could feel the hot breath coming from his mouth. She could smell the odor of a far distant cigarette that he probably had smoked a few hours earlier. And she could feel the wetness building between her legs.

She did want him. She had wanted him from the day they had met.

She did not want him to stop and the harder he held her and the stronger he squeezed her against the door the more turned on she was becoming. “Doug, please……I can lose my job over this”, she begged. Doug replied to this comment by grinding his pelvis hard into her. A gasp escaped her. He thrust against her again and she felt her legs weaken and her own breathe was ragged. She could feel his young and eager erection straining against her, anxiously awaiting the opportunity that was being presented. “Please……….. Doug…….I……..I can’t be strong enough for ……for both of us”, she said. “I need you to ………..” Her words broke off as his mouth covered hers and she was enveloped in an ecstasy of lips and tongue. She gave in to him and ceased her struggling both physically and mentally. She had fantasized about what it might be like to kiss him but this was not what she had envisioned. She had pictured a quiet moment alone, perhaps in her office where a shy, tentative touching of lips might be stolen before someone appeared. This was neither shy nor was it tentative. This was animalistic and aggressive………and she wanted more of it. In an instant he had her calf length skirt pulled up to her waist and his inexperienced hand fumbled into her pants. She did not try to stop him. Though she no longer offered any resistance he continued aggressively. His hand slipped inside of her underpants as his tongue slid into her mouth.

He had released her arm from its bondage against the door and his left arm now encircled her waist while his other continued into her pants. He parted her easily and wasted no time in burying three fingers as deeply as he could muster. Though Sara was the one to feel the physical sensation of this entry, the gasp that arose from Doug’s own throat drowned out her own. Her hand celebrated its freedom by going immediately to the back of his head and grabbing a great fistful of hair. She pulled his mouth hard to her own and thus began her own aggressive sexual assault. As one hand held his head fast against her own she used her other to clutch at the back of his faded Levi’s pulling him as tightly against her as his body would allow. His arm now sandwiched between their grinding bodies continued to thrust inside her as much as the limited space would permit. “I want you, oh God how I want you,” came from Doug’s mouth. “I don’t care about your fucking job or your age or what the people wanna say about it. I wanna to feel my dick inside of you. I wanna hear you crying out when I make you come.” Sara watched him with her eyes glowing. Her heart raced while she listened as Doug put his lust into words. Without considering the consequences she replied in a heavy, raspy voice, “Take me…………. here…….. oh…… oh, God yes ………” Without hesitation Doug was pulling at her under pants using his bare foot to pull them off the remainder of the way. He struggled momentarily as he fumbled one handed with the buttons on the fly of his jeans. While he worked, his mouth was still on hers, hard, young and inexperienced. With his pants opened he reached for himself and pulled his erection from behind the denim fabric.

“Forgive me,” he gasped as he again lifted her skirt and was inside of her before he had drawn his next breath.

* * * * * * * *

They had met through work, though they were not co-workers. Sara was a Case Worker for a private non-profit agency that ran a program to assist homeless young adults. The Stepping Up program provided housing as well as case management and life skills training to those young adults aged sixteen to twenty one years who wanted to participate. All that was required was a strong desire to do better for your self. Doug was one of her clients.

Doug had entered the program when he was only 17 years old, a product of the system. Through his own strengths and drive he had survived his placements in group homes and Foster Care and came out strong. Because of this inner strength the courts found it within them to release him, emancipate him if you choose to use such terms. He had been released, tentatively, into the care of the Stepping Up program.

Doug had been an eager student of the program and was congenial and forthright. He was anxious to learn what it would take to live on his own in this brave new world of his and he followed directions. Doug was the type of client that Sara and her co-worker liked to call a “Driver”. Doug was an abiding, usually happy client who would give the SU Program a much needed shot of success in the arm of an otherwise sickly patient. Most clients failed and did so miserably. Doug would not be one of those clients.

Sara was a typical human services worker, under paid, buried in unnecessary bureaucratic paperwork and stressed out from years of working in a field where there is little reward for a job well done. At forty four years old Sara was unmarried, childless, graying fast and burning out. She was well liked by the majority of her clients because of her way of being natural. She was proud of her ability to play a parenting role: that of supervisor and director as well as one of understanding mixed with compassion and, yes, a little bit of love thrown in as well.

Doug had been different from the very start. Though she already had a full load of clients, she opted to take on Doug. Perhaps it was because he had been referred to the Stepping Up program by another employee who sang his kudos about Doug. She felt that if he was this “together” then he would be an easy keep on her roster of clients. And so it had begun. Doug was a likable young man who took to the SU program immediately and excelled. He had finished his GED within the month and had secured full time employment even without Sara’s assistance. Perhaps because of his progress in the program Sara felt compelled to spend more time with him, feeding off of his successes. Living vicariously through Doug made her giddy like she was partaking of the liquor of success. He made her feel smart and competent.

Doug too enjoyed the glow of his successes. The better he did in the SU program the more freedom he seemed to gain. The few rules he broke were easily overlooked due to his positive progress. He smoked inside his apartment without being hassled by staff, missed occasional meetings using lame excuses and Sara spent more of their “life skills instruction” time just hanging out and talking with him. They openly discussed work and the tentative college plans Doug had as well as intimate conversations about past girlfriends of Doug’s and even a few of Sara’s trysts. Doug found that he was completely at ease around Sara, free to say what he wanted. She made him feel like an adult though he had just recently seen his eighteenth birthday. He knew she was as comfortable with him as he was with her. Often times when she spoke to him or laughed at one of his antics her eyes glowed, her cheeks would flush and she would reach out and touch his arm or his hand. He felt a tingle every time she touched him. He doubted that what she was doing was a sign of actual interest in him, but in his adolescent mind he permitted himself to think that way. He certainly understood that just because a girl was friendly with you did not mean she wanted to be with you and that you would be bending her over the arm of the sofa Friday night and pumping a load into her. Nah…………..he didn’t think of Sara in that way at all. She was much older, much wiser in his mind and he liked that look of maturity that she carried with her. Though on the few times that he said this to her she had blushed and pulled back from him, usually ending their meeting shortly thereafter and leaving quickly.

Doug had been a client of Sara’s for three months when events changed between them. She had met with Doug at the computer lab and they just finished his on-line financial aid application for college. He was planning a career in electrical engineering if he could manage to make it through school and they had just finished printing out a copy of his application. His excitement at the prospect of getting into college got the better of him and he had grabbed Sara around the waist, hugging her hard. “God, what would I do without you,” he said. “If I ever become anything it will be because of you.” Though his was meant only as a gesture of joy she had not done the expected which would have been to laugh politely and pull away from his grasp. Instead she had voluntarily wrapped her arms around him as well and had hugged him back strongly. When that point in time had been reached where a joyous hug should have ended, they had remained embraced. Their eyes had locked onto each other’s in those close quarters and he had the crazy urge to lean into her and kiss her. She was flushed and he felt her heart racing against his chest. He instantly felt the blood rising in his groin and pushed away from her, but not before she had felt his excitement. Both stammered for a moment, “Oh, I’m sorry ….sheesh….. I mean….I guess that was improper” Doug blurted out. “No, no….that’s cool….I mean….no harm no foul….”, she laughed nervously smoothing at her hair. “Caught up in the moment that’s all,” she added. But even as they made excuses for themselves they stood there awkwardly looking at each other. Both felt the buzz in the air and the rise of blood to their faces. Sara fumbled for something more to say, something to cut the tension that was in the air. She was afraid to admit to herself that the feeling of Doug’s body against hers, if even for those few moments, had turned her on. He was lithe in a way that made her think of a marathon runner or a cyclist. She was afraid to admit to herself that the first thing that had entered her mind when she held him against her was, “what would it feel like to have him lying naked on top of me?”

During their awkward moments after the hug Doug too struggled for a tension breaker. He was embarrassed over the idea that he had actually had an erection while he had held her, but oh, he had held her! She was shorter than he by a few inches and her middle aged frame was not slim. With his arms around her though, she had felt soft and full and warm. He had instantly smelled her perfume, a light fragrance now after 6-7 hours of wear time. Her breasts were larger than those of any girlfriend he had ever had and they had been pushed firmly against his chest. And she had held him. Yes, she had purposely stood there holding him in her arms, reciprocating his joy and enjoying the contact as much as he had. He still sported half an erection and it was threatening to go full postal on him if he didn’t do something quickly. “ Uh, well………I guess I should go file this copy and……um……..” stammered Doug. “Yea, well, I probably should head out too. Um, I guess I’ll talk to you at some point,” she replied. She was embarrassed at what she felt and what she had thought in those few moments. “This is the kind of crap that can get my ass fired or worse,” she thought to herself as she busied herself with gathering up files and making moves toward the door. “Sara, I’m sorry if….” Doug started to say. Sara held up a hand, “Doug, let it drop….it’s not a problem. Just ……. Let’s let it be,” she said. She exited the building locking the door behind Doug as he exited. As she worked the key in its mechanism Doug stood directly behind her closer than what would be considered appropriate personal space. She felt that buzz in the air once more. She straightened after locking the door and removing the key. Doug continued to stand directly behind her with the tension building. “Oh God,” she thought, “he is going to put his hands on me and I won’t be able to stop myself from turning around and kissing him.” Doug exhaled, his hot breath making the tendrils of hair at her ears dance. He turned away from her and started walking up the hill to his apartment.

Two weeks had passed since the event at the computer lab and Sara had not scheduled any meeting times with Doug. He had called multiple times and left messages on the office answer machine asking her when she would be coming over to meet with him again or do his monthly apartment inspection. She had spoken with him only once since the event and that was a short, terse conversation about his rent being due next week. Other than that she had not dared open up a conversation with him. She was embarrassed at what she felt when she was near him. She was afraid that someone in the office would be able to read her and see that something inappropriate was going on and she’d face a meeting with her supervisor or worse yet, the executive director. Yet, she hadn’t done anything wrong…..but why did she feel like she had. She knew that answer. It was because she had wanted something to happen. She had wanted the embrace to last long, she had wanted him to pull her around and kiss her hard and full on the mouth outside of the computer lab. God, what was she thinking? He was only eighteen years old for God’s sake. Not even old enough to order a beer legally. What was this, some mid life crisis fantasy? No, this was no fantasy. She liked what she saw in Doug: ambition, drive, a sense of wonderment around him. And she liked how he made her feel. He was genuine with his compliments and they embarrassed her most times. Genuineness usually did that to people. He liked her and she knew it. She knew he liked her for her knowledge and maturity as well as her strengths and weaknesses….and his actions showed that. But more than that, his teenaged mind wanted her for her sexuality as well. A typical teenaged boy no less…..young, naïve, horny! It had been a long time since a man had looked at her with lust in his eyes. She has no longer a thin, young, beauty. She left those adjectives to the young girls that entered her program. But Doug always looked at her like she was one of those young things. It was hard for a young man to hide his desire. They haven’t learned the techniques yet in their young lives. More over, his erection against her at the computer lab was a dead giveaway! “God, what am I doing even thinking abut this?” she said to herself. “I can not even think of going there. Fantasize about him at night when your in bed alone and enjoy yourself in that private time, but Jesus don’t even think about any possibilities.” she chided herself.

She jumped as the phone at her desk rang. It was already getting late, 5:07 p.m. and her day was over. The phone rang a second time. She hesitated to answer it thinking the she should just let the answering machine pick up, but, what the heck. She lifted the received. “Stepping Up, this is Sara, how can I help you?” “Hey, it’s Doug, “ came the reply on the phone. Her heart missed a beat before it jump started again and then made up for the lost time. “Uh, hi Doug. Wh....uh....what’s up?” she managed to say. “I want you to come over,” was his reply She sat quite on the phone, afraid to say anything. “Um….Doug …it’s already after five and I’m done for the day. In fact I was just head out to go home,” she said. “I want you to come over,” he calmly stated again. “Why?,” was all she managed to say next. “I think we need to talk,” he said. “There is tension in the air ever since that stupid thing at the lab and even though you said it was no big deal you must be mad at me,” he stated. “I am not mad. I said it was nothing and it’s nothing,” Sara replied. The line was dead quiet but Sara felt as if she could feel his heart pounded on the other side of the line. After an eternity Doug spoke. “Please, just come see me. I need to see you,” Doug pleaded. “Doug,” answered Sara, I…..I just don’t think that this is a good idea. Especially not right now, not today. I, “ she hesitated, “I am afraid to see you,” she finally said. The line was quiet once again. “Please, come,” was all he said before he quietly replaced the phone into its receiver.

Sara knew the moment she got into her car to drive home that she would not be heading that direction. She chided herself for even considering driving over to Doug’s apartment to see him. “Well, his rent is due any way. I can get his check while I am there. This is a legitimate client visit even though it is getting late.” She thought as she tried to convince herself.

When she pulled into the driveway behind Doug’s apartment her hands were shaking and she could hear ringing in her ears. “Just a visit girlfriend, remember that. Don’t be stupid. He is only eighteen years old.” Try as she might she could not calm the tension building inside of her.

Doug answered the door before she had pulled her hand down from the first knock. The door was only halfway opened before she quickly stepped inside the kitchen pushing the door shut behind her just as quickly. Doug had stepped back from the door as she had entered. He stood there in the half dark of the kitchen with just the light from the window above the sink entering the room. The only light that she could see was a bedside lamp burning in the bedroom that was directly off from the kitchen, its light sending weak shafts through the doorway. He stood there dressed only in a pair of faded blue jeans. He was bare-footed and shirtless. His chest stood naked of chest hair, belying his tender age even more. His thicket of brown hair was uncombed and hanging freely, looking as if he had been roused from bed to answer the door.

“Doug………………..,” Sara began. “Shhhhhhh, don’t say anything. You didn’t come here to explain yourself. I know that. And I know that after I hung up the phone you sat there at your desk trying to come up with a legitimate excuse for why you needed to come over here. Other than the truth.” “And what is the truth,” she asked Doug. “You wanted to see me. You want to be near me. You feel it the way I feel it. Fuck the SU program and fuck the big bosses. This ain’t about them. It’s about us and what we are feeling,” Doug stated. “No Doug, you’re wrong. I have to keep this on a professional level. I’m old enough to be your Mom for Christ sake! You’re a client…a damn active client. And even though you’re over eighteen and a legal adult doesn’t make this right.” Sara said. Her voice was strained and sounded like pleading. She didn't like the way her voice sounded. She couldn’t even convince herself with that tone. “So what, big deal I’m an active client. Do you want me to quit the SU program? If that’s what it takes for us to be together then I quit. There, I said it, I quit.” Doug said half angered. Sara hung her head. “No. I won’t let you quit regardless of your reasoning,” she said. “Then say it. Tell me want I want to hear from your lips. Tell me that what I am feeling is not in my head and that you feel it too,” begged Doug. Sara continued to let her head hang, tears beginning to well in her eyes. “I feel it,” she said weakly. “God I feel it. But that doesn’t make it right or even…………..,” but Doug had cut the sentence short. In an instant he had her against the closed kitchen door pinning her hard and holding her arms tightly against the door. “Please don’t.........please....... Doug.” she said unconvincingly. Sara closed her eyes smiling faintly.

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