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| Sheila Galkoff |
| copyright www.galkoff.com 2005 |
| Name: Sheila Galkoff DOB: 23rd July 1942 DOD: 16th June 2004 Spouse: Ivor Children: Lawrence, Simon, Rob Birthplace: Southport Occupation: Mother |
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| Life for my Mum was about giving, enjoying, smiling and never complaining. Over the last 12 months, Mum has dealt with her illness with courage and determination. Never once did she complain about the treatment she was receiving. Never once did she ask why me and never once did she stop thinking about everyone else apart from her own well being. In fact, it was a joke in the hospital when a Dr or nurse would come in and ask her how she was, her reply would always be “thank you, I’m fine”. My Mum really was a very special person. She touched the hearts of everyone who is in this room today and many others who aren’t able to be here. In fact, I don’t think she ever met anyone who didn’t like her and the compliment was always paid back. She really did have certain warmth and smile that she passed on to all around her. I’m a firm believer that we come to this earth to do a job and make an impact. Once we have succeeded then we go to a better place. For the 31 years I knew her, Mum seemed to be doing her work all the time and the biggest shame is that she’s been taken away from us so soon and that she’ll be unable to continue the work she’s done so well. Mum and Dad always had a perfect marriage. I think I only saw them raise their voices once and I’m sure they were agreeing with each other without realising it! They were together for over 40 years and their love and bond grew stronger everyday. At times they have been like love struck teenagers walking down the promenade hand in hand and enjoying each other’s company. They made a great team and I know Dad will find Mum’s passing the hardest out of us all. Mum played a pivotal role in the Galkoff household. She was unfortunate to loose her father when she was 6, but seemed to draw strength from her loss and was always keen to make the most of her life and her immediate and extended family. A key feature of family life in Southport was our grandparents. Certainly after Grandma Cissie died in 1987, Grandma Pauline and Grandpa would spend most days with us which eventually led to Grandma Pauline moving in with us. The way Mum cared for them both and looked after them in their old age was fantastic. As I’m writing this, I really do look back and realise how amazing she was to take on such responsibility to make sure their final days were happy and comfortable. Mum also looked after Auntie Dora-Jean during her illness and we adopted Jacquie and Nicky as sisters at the same time. She also spent nearly 20 years visiting people in hospital on a weekly basis and serving on various Shul committees. Everyone would always joke that the freezers were always full at home. And they were. You’d always be guaranteed a veritable feast even if you only popped round for a cup of tea. Mum always loved entertaining and would spend hours preparing and just as long tidying up! And things didn’t change when Mum and Dad moved to Bournemouth nearly 5 years ago. She was so happy here with all the new friends that she made and all the old ones who would come and visit. Over the last few weeks, she gained so much comfort knowing that Dad will be well looked after by their friends and the community at large here. There are always advantages of being the youngest. I think by the time I came along Mum and Dad were a little more relaxed and at times would let me get away with more than Lawrence or Simon would have done! We always had a wonderful relationship and for sure I’ll miss the regular calls and her awful rendition of Happy Birthday. Karen and I couldn’t have chosen a better time to get married. Mum was radiant. It was by far her strongest time during her illness. Somehow, she found an inner strength for the weekend. Not only did she stand under the Chupah (hand in hand with Dad), but she also danced the day away and posed for as many photographs as possible. She was so excited when she learnt Karen is expecting in November. Whilst she can’t be here to see her new Grandchild, Karen and I have the comfort to know that our baby will have it’s very own special Guardian Angel looking after it from heaven. So, Sheila Galkoff was a wonderful Wife, Mother, Sister, auntie, Grandmother and friend to us all. She’ll be sorely missed but will live on with us all forever. She achieved so much in her short time with us and will continue to achieve more through us all. We’ll never forget you Mum, we’ll always love you. It’s now your time to rest and be at peace. |
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| EULOGY OF SHEILA GALKOFF As presented by Rev. Lionel Rosenfeld At the stone setting at Throop Cemetery, Bournemouth Sunday, 3rd April 2005 Dear Ivor, Lawrence & Monica, Simon & Suzanne, Robert & Karen, Myer & Pat, we welcome all the many relatives and friends who have travelled down to be with and give support to you, together with all your dear friends here in Bournemouth. There’s a comment in Ch. 4 of Pirkei Avot, the section of the Mishnah where our Rabbis teach us how to behave in life, with which I want to begin: “It is not in our power to explain either the tranquillity of the wicked, or the suffering of the righteous” Rabbi Yannai, great spiritual leader that he is, concedes that in the face of suffering and untimely loss, in the end there is nothing we can do but grieve: and, Ivor, despite your marvellously positive attitude to life, your strength on the outside, how can you not be grieving every day, and your family too in different ways, thinking of the mother they have lost and the support she would have given them every day, the sister they loved. Especially sad that Sheila’s grandchildren as they grow will not experience the special love she would have brought them, they will not know what they have lost. You know before Rafi sang Anim Zmirot yesterday – and how he sang it! With such gusto and accuracy and tunefulness! There’s a chazzan there in the making!….He said to me, “it’s such a sad day, that my grandma isn’t here – It’s a sad day you know.” It hurt, yet he said simply what we are all feeling. How Sheila would have loved to hear him yesterday. So: It is not in our power to explain the suffering of the righteous. But Sheila’s epitaph, her true legacy follows in just the next verse: ………Be the first to greet every person. And the Perek also says: Be easy-going with your elders, get on well with the youngsters and receive everyone with cheerfulness. Surely this absolutely represents the true worth and being of Sheila Galkoff. Sheila was born and grew up in Southport, a true Sandgrounder. She, sadly, lost her Father, due to ill health, when she was 6,and her Mother had a most difficult task of raising both Sheila and brother Myer in difficult financial circumstances. To her mother’s great credit and abiding memory, they both grew up in a loving Jewish atmosphere. Ivor recalls that he probably first met Sheila in cheder under the influence of Mr Glazier, for those of you from Southport who remember him, and his wielding ruler. Ivor was 9 and Sheila 5 or 6, and so being that much older, he took little notice of her. It was only after his National Service in 1958, when she had become a very attractive 17 year old that bells began to ring in his head. So it was that they became engaged 3 years later, and this August they would have been married 43 years. As a young wife Sheila became very much involved in the Southport Jewish Community. For 20 years she made weekly visits to the hospitals to comfort sick patients, and Ivor tells me that only last weekend, when he was in Southport, two ninety year olds reminded him how Sheila’s cheery smile and words of comfort made their stay in hospital so much more bearable, they remembered her as we do today. For nine years she, with the help of some wonderful people, ran a Shul youth club, every Sunday afternoon come rain or shine, where she organised outdoor activities, art sessions, cooking, table tennis, you name it, it was done every week. She was a founder member of the Arnside Social Committee, the equivalent of Bournemouth’s Shul Aid. Functions were, and still are, held at regular intervals, and who do you think organised all the catering? For ten years the highlight of the Arnside Social year was the Chanukah pantomime, but Sheila preferred to work behind the scenes, and only made one dramatic appearance, in the Ascot Parade taken from My Fair Lady. She only had one line to say, but she got it right. But then, she did everything admirably. The number of Sheila and Ivor’s close friends, who have come down all the way from Southport today, shows the extremely high esteem in which she was thought of there. Within the family circle, Sheila’s help was given equally freely and with no limitations. When Ivor’s sister, Dora-Jean took ill, Sheila spent hours visiting and looking after her needs over many years, and did not think twice in bringing her daughters in to live. As Nicky was particularly young at the time, Sheila and Ivor brought her up as if she was her own daughter. It was natural that Nicky treated Sheila like a mother and this was so true during Sheila’s illness when Nicky made so many car journeys to Bournemouth to visit and brighten up her days. When Sheila’s mother became frail in late life, she came to live with Sheila and Ivor, and, Ivor, the fact she lived till 92 must have had something to do with Sheila’s chicken soup. Ivor’s late Father also spent each and every day there and Sheila was amused to see the two elderly mechutanim sitting opposite each other, each with sticks and parephenalia of old age, but as I said Sheila fulfilled the dictum of ‘be easy-going with your elders. She raised three wonderful sons, Lawrence, Simon and Robert who bli ayin hara have all inherited her character (and let us say of Ivor’s too). She steered them towards the success they enjoy today and was so delighted to see them settled with such lovely partners. If Sheila was the most wonderful mother, she again fulfilled the Rabbinic command ‘get on well with the youngsters’ : Sheila absolutely came into her own as a Grandma to Suzanne and Simon’s children, Natalia, Rafi and Ilan. She idolised them and has been a major factor in their development, as they grow so beautifully, and have been such a source of nachas to Sheila and Ivor. And although she only knew Ilan for under one year, he was very dear in her heart. Until her very last days Sheila put everyone else first. In her final weeks Sheila would not allow the grandchildren to visit her, as she did not want to upset them. Yet shortly before she died, she asked for Natalia, Rafi and Ilan to come and she found the most amazing inner strength to spend a number of hours with them. Apart from sitting in a hospital bed, she was the Grandma they had always known – only interested in them and without a care or pain in the world. You know how much Grandma loved you and will always love you. She will be so proud of you for the way you love and care for Grandpa Ivor. Unfortunately, Sheila only knew Karen and Rob’s new addition by name only. She never lived to see Adam Shai being born, but, as Ivor says, he will have part of grandma with him always; she will be forever guiding him in the right direction through life. The move to Bournemouth was a difficult decision to make, but it was absolutely the right thing to do, with the children all moving to London and the Southport community decreasing. What did she do as soon as she arrived – entertained and entertained even more. Her sunny smile captured the imagination of all around her, and it’s hard to believe that Sheila and Ivor only arrived five years before she became ill – in such a short time they became an intrinsic part of our community and the five years she spent here were one of the happiest times of her life. Ivor tells me that Sheila’s good deeds here are being fully reciprocated and this kehilla is giving him no opportunity of curling up in a corner. The words that the family chose for Sheila’s stone perfectly reflect the woman we are remembering today: they are taken from the Eishet Chayil poem to the complete wife and mother: her CHILDREN RISE AND APPLAUD HER, HER HUSBAND ALSO PRAISING HER. Ivor says that we have to remember Sheila, as she would want us to remember her, always with a smile and a kind word, and to say that the time has come when we should not be too sad, she wouldn’t have wanted that. Ivor, our hearts are truly with you: we wish you chayim arukim – you are a tremendous example for all of us of steadfastness and courage in a tragic year; you have a truly loving nature, and are blessed with a noble character, which few can emulate. You are a loving father and grandpa in your own right; I have seen what a wonderful nephew you are to your Uncle Cyril, whom we all love and respect, who so much wanted to be here and support you, and to whom we extend a speedy refuah shlemah. May you enjoy much nachas from Lawrence and Monica, Simon and Suzanne, Robert and Karen and the grandchildren. We wish them and brother Myer also, long life, and we include in our blessings nieces Nicky, Jacquie, Karen and all their families, because they were all very much part of Sheila’s big family. Yehi Zichrah Baruch – May her memory be for an eternal blessing. |
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