Disclaimers: Yeah, um, they’re not mine. Big shock. Spoilers for pretty much every Kevin Fawkes episode: Pilot, The Other Invisible Man, and Insensate.
“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been six months since my last confession. Actually, that’s not quite true; I haven’t sinned yet. But I’m afraid I’m going to.”
Father Tom smiled at the familiar voice, even as his chest tightened with worry. “Hello, Kevin.” It was a rare treat for him to minister to members of his flock from infancy through adulthood, but Kevin Fawkes was a hard man to counsel. Kevin’s work, what little he could reveal of it, seemed likely to make Kevin another Josef Mengele if he wasn’t careful; his struggles with faith went far outside Father Tom’s usual circuit of unfaithful housewives and prankish schoolchildren.
Kevin Fawkes came only sporadically, always at the tail of the confessional line at the end of the day to ensure complete privacy, burdened with tales of human experimentation. Last time he had asked forgiveness for his part in killing a fine soldier, a man who had volunteered for an experiment that went wrong and who had to be put down like a rabid animal. Before that, Kevin had asked for counsel when his superior had continued stripping people of their senses and driving them mad, even when it was clear the experiment was not producing the brilliant, focused savants they had hoped for. He came for advice, for absolution, and Father Tom tried never to send Kevin away empty-handed, even when he had no good answers to give. “What can you tell me?”
Kevin sighed heavily and bent forward, resting his head on his hands. “It’s Darien.”
Oh yes, he should have seen this coming. Father Tom had been following the case in the news with mingled amusement and frustration. “Only Darien would stop in the middle of a burglary to perform CPR on a heart attack victim,” said the priest fondly, “And only Darien would be punished not for the robbery but for the good deed.”
Kevin shot him a rueful smile through the wooden grille. “He does have a knack for that, doesn’t he?” He sighed again. “Honestly, it couldn’t have come at a better time for me. We’ve finally, finally worked all the bugs out of the project I’ve been working on, the one that ... the one that killed that agent.”
“Kevin, that wasn’t your fault. You had no way of knowing--”
“It was my project. I had a responsibility to know.” He looked away again. “But that’s blood over the dam now. I’ve tested it and retested it. We’re ready for another human subject. But the thought of putting something this powerful into some brainless, violent jarhead, or worse, someone with their own private agenda -- this project could do so much good. But any powerful tool can be used for evil. I never thought I’d say this, but I’ve been going over this ever since the first disaster, and Darien is the only one I’d trust with this thing. He may be a thief and a prankster, but he’d never hurt anyone, and even if he did take the g -- take the prototype and run, he’s predictable, easy to catch.”
“It sounds like a very logical choice,” said Father Tom. “Though it’s not the kindest view of your brother.”
Kevin blushed, “That’s what I’m afraid of. It’s logical, even compassionate: get him out of prison, rescue him from a life sentence of hard time.” There was a long pause. “That soldier, I’d never seen someone shot before. Well, technically I didn’t see it, but I was right there in the room ... I’ve seen people go crazy, or catatonic, and it’s horrible and tragic and keeps you up late at night. But there’s something ... the blood goes everywhere, even five feet away it got all over my clothes and my face, and seeing a human being, an intelligence, reduced to so much meat ... I’ve been having nightmares, every night, Darien grunting as the bullet goes through him, splattering silver as he hits the ground, that thick blood bubbling out of his mouth--” Kevin started crying, shaking. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to do for him.”
You never ask the easy ones, do you? Father Tom thought to himself. In that, you and your brother are very much alike. “Let me ask you this. What happens to Darien if you don’t interfere?”
“He goes to prison. Life sentence without parole in Bakersfield,” Kevin recited. “He’s twenty-nine, barring death by violence, which is a pretty strong probability from what I hear, that could mean as many as sixty years of knife fights, gang rapes and hard labor to look forward to.”
“And how will that sit with him, Kevin? Of course it’s horrible, but don't you think it might transform him, being held accountable, being away from temptation, in a place where the more compassionate side of his nature might be valuable to younger inmates whose lives are not yet set in stone?”
Kevin shook his head. “Darien won’t see it that way. The punishment doesn’t fit the crime, there’s no justice for him to come to terms with. Besides, Darien hates feeling trapped. He’ll become bitter and angry and spend most of his energy either planning futile escapes or lashing out at everyone around him. His body might survive -- I remember being amazed and terrified by what he could survive the first time he went to Juvie back in sixth grade -- but his soul wouldn’t.”
“And if you help him? Say the program is a complete success. What then?”
Kevin thought for a moment. “A month or so of tests, and then we take it out. Darien’s record is wiped, he gets a clean slate. He’ll probably go right back to being a thief, but maybe if we have that time together, I can get through to him, show him some other way to live his life.”
“Do you really believe that?”
Kevin looked Father Tom in the eyes, a sad smile valiantly tugging the corners of his mouth. “I can hope.”
Father Tom smiled back. “Kevin, there are never any guarantees in life. But I know you, and I know you wouldn't risk your brother's life unless you were completely sure it was the best course of action. You have a good heart, once you push past the temptation to play God. If you follow it, I think your choice is clear." And the worried knot in Father Tom's chest eased at the calm strength kindled in Kevin's eyes. “Go in peace, my son.”
End.