The Sheer Musical Horror of Gary Stormonth

The Sheer Musical Horror of Gary Stormonth

Modified 08/02/2001

Bald Scottish bloke

"Hey, maybe if I use enough graphic effects on the photo, they won't notice how ugly I am."

The first group I ever played in was called "Sticky", although not by me. Sadly, Sticky came to an end after just three concerts. Click here to go directly to the Sticky page.

Music to download and laugh mockingly at...

(If you're using Internet Explorer, right mouse click on one of the files below and choose 'Save Target As...')

1. "The Four Musicians of Bremen" (1.63MB) - featuring an unsuspecting Peter Schooley.
2. "Dead End" (1.60MB)
3. "Methanol" (1.56MB) - NEW!
4. "Achilles Went" (1.74MB) - NEW! (with Aaron Mauck and Dave Dodgson - 'The Sokullu Dogs')

You'll need a program capable of playing mp3 format files (e.g. WinAmp) to listen to the "music".

About the music...

"Bremen" dates from around February 2000. I was working in a language school in Turkey, teaching English. One fateful day our Director of Studies foolishly let me talk him into reading aloud a few stories, so that I could record them for students to listen to later. How could he have guessed what fiendish plans I had? "Bremen" is the end result. No song which includes impressions of four different animals, over-the-top guitar soloing, and even tubular bells could ever be accused of being in good taste. It's totally daft, and it's my personal favourite. No one else seems to like it, though.

"Dead End" was the result of one day's work in June 1999, and it's the first song I recorded after starting to use the Cakewalk Pro Audio music program. I was finally able to include recorded REAL guitar, not just keyboard, in my music. I made the useful discovery that a crappy guitar solo can be transformed into something quite pleasant if you apply enough echo to it.

Now, look, kids. Despite being an English teacher in Ankara, I do NOT endorse excessive consumption of alcohol. However, no prizes for guessing the source of inspiration for "Methanol". Work began on one strangely indistinct night in October 2000. For some reason, people seem to like this one. Features a looped darbuka (a kind of Turkish drum), my first attempt at recording real percussion.

"Achilles Went" was recorded with a couple of teachers from the school I work at. The song was the result of one night's alcohol-induced jamming and messing about with Cakewalk in September 2000. Aaron Mauck does most of the guitar work and all of the swearing, I do the keyboard stuff and the final guitar solo, and Dave Dodgson heroically tries to pronounce 'Patroclus'. Thanks go to Homer for the lyrics.

Come on people, give them a try. What have you got to lose but your sanity?

All comments and insults to please

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