The Best Christmas I Ever Had (Star Trek Format)…easily translated into

‘Twas The Night Before Christmas (Star Trek Style)

Author’s Notes/Disclaimer:

I had a newspaper clipping from last year at Christmas. This clipping was sent to our local newspaper for a contest and it had won first place. A kid sent it in at age 12 (at the time) named Kael from Caledonia Regional High School (Middle School), Grade 7, which is the school that I went to when I was still in school. Thanks Kael. Caledonia High School has from Grades 6 – 12 but one part of the school is classified as Middle school and then the other part is High school.

******

Sent in by Kael posted by Lady1Venus

‘Twas the night before Christmas,

And all through the ship,

Not a cosmic distortion, not even a blip

The phasers were armed, every last pair,

In hopes that the Borg would not be there.

The lieutenants were sleeping,

All snug in their beds,

While visions of Warp Cores,

Danced in their heads.

And Data was silent, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down to make a starmap

When up on the Bridge, there arose such a clatter,

I ran to the computer,

To see if there was anti-matter

Away to the view-ports, I flew like a flash,

Almost tripping over a bowl of goulash

When what to my targeted eyes should appear,

But a Romulan speeder

With eight bizarre star-fleets

With a space-suited driver, my computer did tick,

I thought for a moment, could this be St. Nick?

More rapid than warp5, his star-fleet they came,

And he radioed and shouted,

And called them by name,

“Now, Red fleet! Now, Gold Fleet!

Now, Pink fleet and Blue!

On, Orange fleet! On, Black fleet!

On, Grey and Purple too!”

So up to the front hull the star-fleet flew,

With a box full of computes

And Plasma Coolants too

And then in a second I heard quite near

The thumping and bumping of each landing gear.

As I ran to the computer

And covered much ground

Out the airshaft Santa Clause came to be found

He was dressed in areo silk

From his head to his foot

And his helmet was tarnished with space dust and soot.

A ton of supplies he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a Romulan

Who’d has had too much gin black.

His life belt, how it twinkled! His head, how hairy!

His feet were like space probes,

And his work held no tarry!

His oxygen regulator was drawn up tight,

And the beard on his chin was as black as night.

He had a broad back and a round A.G.B. (Anti-Gravity-Belt)

That sparkled when he floated like a Christmas tree.

He was plump like a turkey, a space-aged old elf

And I jumped when I saw him,

Right through the computer shelf.

He made not a sound but went straight to a room,

And filled the supplies and sprang with a zoom,

And laying a finger on a button named Kent

And releasing a spring, out the airlock he went.

He flew to his shuttle, to his fleet gave a whistle,

And they flew away faster than a proton missile.

But I could be heard as he flew out of sight:

“This is the best Christmas

I’ve had and what a great night!