I had to buy a a $25 stand just to hold the thing.

Kramer Keeps Me Rock'n With a Focus Guitar


11/29/2002: I talked about rad '80s Kramer guitars back in March and how they represented everything that is awesome about playing guitar. Little did I know that mere months later I would be the proud owner of of a Kramer Focus 4000 Flying V (with a Floyd Rose, of course). A buddy's dad picked it up in a "deal", so I was able to get it for turbo (it's baaaack!) cheap. Unfortunately, the Floyd Rose is pretty old and shitty and does not allow for the previously mentioned super-wicked torpedo drops. The good news is that the fucker looks like it could kill you, plays nice, and sounds super metal. I'll tell you one thing: I've owned this Kramer for like a month, yet Eddie Van Halen's secretly-jamming-with-Dave ass has not yet appeared in my window like in the advertisements. Maybe he's pissed that Gibson has purchased the rights to the Kramer name and is now producing them again without his help. An extra bonus about this particular guitar is that some cheesedick put red pinstripes all over it to make it look even more '80s. It's a bit much, but I don't have the balls to peel them off yet.

This picture looks pretty fucking eBay

Note the homemade lightning strap that was painted on the wrong side. Also scope the vintage Santa Cruz sticker. Old skaters and players of EPYX's "California Games" will know what I'm talking about. Plus, somebody scratched the word 'Pantera' on the back plate. What the hell is Pantera?

Beechwood aged

It took a fucking lifetime to clean these tuners and they still look like shit in the picture. Bullshit.

It looks like I have two different haircuts

The best thing about owning a Flying V is looking like a total fucking badass. Unfortunately, I am incapable of doing that. Yes, I do live in a time warp.