PIE REVIEWS
To see more reviews, written by Jeff Kovatchitch, check out the following
links:
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Listed before every review are:
"TV show"/movie title; persons who were pied
"Alice"; Diane Ladd, Vic Tayback (cake)
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Mel has rehired an old waitress, Belle (Diane Ladd), to replace Flo, who
has left for her own series. Unfortunately, Belle hasn't been getting
along too well with Alice and Vera, while Mel seems to think she's the
greatest thing since sliced bread. In fact, he's even baked her a huge
cake which he intends to inscribe, "WELCOME BACK, BELLE" ("How many U's in
WELCOME?", asks Mel). When Belle comes in, she apologizes to Alice and
Vera for everything, saying she just wants to be one of the girls. Then
she heads for the kitchen- opening the doors just as Mel is heading out
with the cake. SPLAT! Furious, Mel shoves the cake in Belle's face--and
when Alice and Vera try to stop him, Mel hits them, too. Laughing
hysterically, Alice declares, "Looks like you're finally one of the
girls..."
A very funny scene. Unfortunately, the facial coverage leaves a lot to
be desired. Although Mel and Belle both get full-face hits, the icing is
brown and not very thick at all. Conversely, Alice and Vera only get cake
on half their face, but what does get hit is completely covered in thick
green icing. Too bad. Better coverage, and this one could have been a
classic.
Rating: 3 out of 5 stars.
Reviewed by: J. Kovatchitch
"All That", Lori Beth Denberg
-----------------------------
In 1995, Nickelodeon's latest sketch show offered us a pie scene that was,
and is, totally funny! In this scene, Lori Beth Denberg, one of the
members of the all-teen cast, plays the role of a French teacher, a
departure from her usual role of an inept high school mentor. The sketch
starts to get intriguing when a student starts making jokes in class. It
turns out that this "class clown" is a REAL clown, much to the surprise of
everyone. After the clown plays a few more jokes, the teacher reprimands
him, just as his father arrives to take him to his doctor's appointment.
But before the teacher lets her student go, she explains to his father what
just went on in class, and at that moment, the clown student takes a pie
and thrusts it into the teacher's face!
The thing that makes the scene funnier is when Lori Beth exclaims, "I've
been pied!", and then later hears the children laugh at her, to which L.B.
responds, "There's nothing funny about a woman's face with pie on it!"
Apparently, lots of pie fans think otherwise! What's more, when I first
discovered this show a few months ago, I figured they might do a pie scene,
and as it turns out, my wish came true even before it was made!
Reviewed by: Gregg
"The Babysitter's Club", Randi Mollo
------------------------------------
On this Disney Channel TV series based on the famous book series of the
same name, there is a hugely memorable pie scene. It all takes place at
the school that the girls in the Babysitter's Club attend, during the
school's fundraising carnival. But it all starts earlier in the show when
the boyfriend of Maryann, one of the main characters on the show, is being
flirted with by a girl named Marci (played by Randi Mollo). Naturally,
Maryann is jealous, but says nothing about it to her boyfriend. Later on,
at the school function I alluded to earlier, a pie booth is set up where
people can throw pies at someone's face. In this case, Mallory, another
girl in the Club, is the one getting pies thrown at her. So far none have
gotten Mallory in the face, but now it's Maryann's turn. She takes the pie
in her hand, prepares to throw it at Mallory, when suddenly, Marci shouts
out a mean-spirited joke about Maryann and her boyfriend, whom Marci
obviously wants for herself. So what does Maryann do? She throws the pie,
not at Mallory, but at Marci, getting her right in the face!
The best part about the pie was that it was really really thick, and the
entire pie stuck to Marci's face. Truly an unforgettable pie scene.
"The Barbara Mandrell Show"; Barbara and Louise Mandrell
--------------------------------------------------------
The theme of the show was practical jokes and the youngest sister, Irlene,
kept playing jokes on Barbara and Louise. For the ultimate payback the two
older sisters called something called "Dial-a-Pie" to get her back.
When the Pie-Man came he simply asked for Miss Mandrell. Barbara said yes
and she got the pie. Then Louise said, "You got the wrong Miss Mandrell!",
and she got pied. Finally, both sisters attacked Irlene with what was on
their faces.
This scene has to rate at least 3 1/2 out of 4 stars. The women are
totally dressed up (albeit in seventies styles). Their facial coverage is
great and their reactions are priceless. Barbara actually looks like she
really did not expect to be pied. Superb acting. Louise has a look of
grudging acceptance. All in all a great scene.
Reviewed by: Pie Fan
"Battle of the Century" (movie short); Laurel and Hardy
-------------------------------------------------------
In this silent film, Laurel and Hardy need money, so Hardy takes out an
insurance policy on Laurel, then tries to get him to slip on a banana peel.
Naturally, a succession of other people wind up taking the fall instead.
The last person to slip is a pie delivery man heading for his wagon with a
tray full of pies. He slowly gets up, picks up a pie, and shoves it in
Hardy's face. Hardy grabs a pie and tosses it, but accidentally nails a
girl getting into a car. She goes to the wagon, gets a pie, and asks who
did it. Laurel points to Hardy, and she starts to throw, but Laurel stops
her and gets the pie man out of the way first! Hardy ducks, and the pie
hits another guy on his freshly shined shoes. He thinks the pie man did it,
and throws one at him, but hits Laurel. Then the mayor walks in, yells at
everyone to stop, and gets nailed. One by one, person after person is drawn
into the line of fire, until literally the entire neighborhood is out in
the street throwing pies in a fantastic long shot. Laurel and Hardy collect
their money- by selling pies!
Totally hilarious. The only negative about this scene is that due to a long
set of circumstances (film deterioration, etc.), a number of shots are
missing from the pie sequence and are apparently lost forever. However, my
video copy contains the script at the end, so at least we know what was
originally there. I've got mixed feelings about this. On one hand, it's
nice to know what's missing, on the other, it's frustrating to know we'll
probably never see it!
Rating: 4 out of 5 stars (if not for the missing shots, this scene would
get a perfect score).
Reviewed by: J. Kovatchitch
Music video for "Beast of Burden" by Bette Midler; Mick Jagger and Bette
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Director Allan Arkush ("Rock And Roll High School") begins this music video
with screaming tabloid headlines (BETTE DUMPS SHEIK FOR MICK!! MICK DUMPS
*EVERYONE* FOR BETTE!!), then shifts to Midler's dressing room where Jagger
shows up for a brief romantic encounter. Bette then goes out on stage and
performs a (bad!) version of the Stones' "Beast of Burden" (keep this lady
away from hard rock!) with Mick joining her halfway through. Meanwhile,
the glowering sheik, suspicious bulges under his burmoose, slowly makes his
way to the stage. At song's end, Mick and Bette leave the stage just as
the sheik arrives, pulls a pie out and throws it in Mick's face. Bette
makes the classic mistake of laughing at Mick's mess--because the sheik's
next pie is for her. "JUST DESSERTS!!" crows the final tabloid headline.
PIES: Standard full-size cream pies. Cream's a little bit on the thin
side, though.
COVERAGE: Could be better. Only the upper half of Bette's and Mick's faces
get covered. To make it worse, there's a papparazi's photo flash that goes
off at the moment of impact. However, their looks of horror (Mick) and
shocked outrage (Bette) before and after the pieings almost make up for it.
RATING: 2 out of 4 stars.
Reviewed by Robert Payes
Blazing Saddles; Harvey Korman, various others
----------------------------------------------
The movie has shifted focus from the small Old Western town to the movie
studio commissary. The supposed movie director in this scene, who's in the
next scene himself and therefore is in costume, shouts out directions, "Get
your pies for the great pie fight!", and then he's immediately pied. A
huge food fight erupts, and in that scene, Harvey Korman slips through a
door thinking it'll allow him to escape the pies, but after he goes through
and closes the door behind him, he's pied (off-camera) and comes back
through the door pied. Hilarious scene in this funny Mel Brooks picture.
"The Bob Newhart Show"; Bob Newhart and Jean Palmerton
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Episode #97 ("Enter Mrs. Peeper") treats viewers to two pies-in-the-face.
Dr. Bob Hartley (Bob Newhart) learns that his old college buddy and fellow
practical joker Cliff "The Peeper" Murdock (Tom Poston) will be coming to
town in order to visit Bob and his wife Emily (Suzanne Pleshette). Bob
decides to welcome The Peeper with a practical joke, that is, a cream pie
in the face. However, Bob's little plan takes an unexpected turn when
Peeper's new wife Corrine (Jean Palmerton) walks through the door first,
therefore taking a faceful (and I do mean a FACEFUL) of cream pie. Then,
to everyone's surprise, Peeper turns around and sticks a cream pie in Bob's
face, for it turns out that HE had the exact same plan!!! It's a good
thing Emily didn't answer the door!
On a scale of 1 to 5, this pie scene rates about a 3. Both pies seem to
consist of nothing more than shaving cream. The cream coverage on Jean
Palmerton's face when she takes her pie is excellent, though, and the
expression on her face is unforgettable. When Bob gets pied, viewers are
not really given a close enough look at his face. For one thing, he is not
facing the camera; rather, he is standing sideways. Also, the scene ends
just a couple of seconds after Bob gets pied. Nevertheless, the scene is
funny.
Reviewed by: Kevin Schwartz
"The Brady Bunch"; Florence Henderson and others
------------------------------------------------
On one episode the Brady's cousin, Oliver, who is even younger than Cindy
Brady, spends some time with them. Throughout the episode the Brady kids
think that he is a jinx, as bad things happen to most of the Brady family
members in his presence. Well, later in the episode, the whole family--
excluding Mr. Brady, as he is probably at work--go to Hollywood on a tour,
along with Oliver. Because of cousin Oliver being with them they have the
millionth person (to go on the tour), so the family wins the grand prize,
which is being able to perform in a silent comedy.
The comedy starts out where there is an accident involving someone and a
pie delivery truck, where the Bradys are innocent bystanders who witness
the crash. The one man gets mad at the pie delivery man, takes a pie out
of the truck and pies him. The pie man then pies the other man back; a cop
comes in and he gets pied. In a very short time the Bradys get hit with
pieces of flying pie. It ends up with the Bradys getting into a pie fight,
like the Three Stooges, but most of the pies were smeared in the faces and
not thrown. The Bradys have a great time and found that cousin Oliver was
good luck, as they were able to be in their own movie with a totally
awesome pie fight. Robert Reed (Mr. Brady) was the only Brady not in this
pie scene, although he got wedding cake in his face in the pilot episode.
I rate this pie scene four stars, as the pies stuck to the faces and since
most were smeared and not thrown, they got in the faces and hair of all who
participated in the pie fight.
Reviewed by: Mark Pesci
Anita Bryant
------------
[Review 1]
The famous singer and second place finisher in the Miss America pageant is
at a press conference discussing her position against the gay rights
movement. Suddenly, a guy approaches and pies her unexpectedly. He's
immediately apprehended and revealed to be a pro-gay rights activist.
There was one reporter who witnessed the incident who commented, on the
spot, that it probably was a "fruit pie" she got in the face.
[Review 2]
The Anita Bryant press conference made for the perfect pie-in-the-face I
have ever seen on TV. Sparing the details that are already posted here, I
will cut to the cream. The gay rights activist made a full-frontal hit on
Bryant's face with a banana cream pie, according to news reports from the
time. The pie--crust and all--adhered almost completely.
Even though I am a Christian, I couldn't help but be humored when this
beauty with the ruined face began praying after she made the remark, "Well,
at least it's a fruit pie." It made me joke about the "talking pie,"
considering very little of her face was showing -- just dessert.
As far as effectiveness, I would rate this a 10 on a scale of 1 to 4.
There may never be another pie assault like this one. However, the fact
that the pie was thrown in meanness--and Bryant obviously was not amused--
brings the overall rating down to a 3.5. It's just a shame it was done for
spite and not for fun!
Bugsy Malone; Jodie Foster
--------------------------
Alan Parker's kiddie-gangster musical climaxes with a rather amazing "pie
massacre" in a pint-sized speakeasy. Lots of flying cream, both in pie
form and from the "splurge guns" (Tommy guns that shoot pastry missles).
Lots of cute, barely-pubescent girls in evening gowns get splattered. Star
Jodie Foster gets pied five times in rapid succession; after the third
time, she blows out a mouthfull of cream and sighs bemusedly "So this is
show biz?" By the end of the scene, the pieings are happening with such
machine-gun (pun intended!) rapidity that viewing with a 4-head VCR is
almost mandatory.
Pies: a bit on the small side (due to the size of the hands throwing em!).
Plenty of white cream, but with those stupid sponge-cake shells that
usually don't break on impact. (The "splurge gun" charges are borderline
cases -- closer to "messy fun" than pure pie--but often deliver quite the
facefull.)
Coverage: Fair to excellent. Jodie's first two pieings are full-face with
decent cream coverage; all pieings have plenty of forward momentum.
Rating: 3 stars out of 4.
Reviewed by: Robert Payes
"Cybill"; Morgan Fairchild
--------------------------
Cybill is at the wedding of her rival, who's marrying Maryann's ex. The
idea is for Cybill and Maryann to trash the wedding. After succeeding a
bit, Morgan is outraged and starts tossing food onto Cybill's dress. A
food fight ensues, and though Cybill is not pied, she does get guacamole
dumped on her head. But it all has a happy ending when Cybill corners her
rival and pies Morgan really well. Funny to watch, that's for sure.
Reviewed by: Gregg
TV Commercial for Ford Motors; Susan Lucci
------------------------------------------
One of the major celebrity-pieing ripoffs. Not only does the pie swing
down and in from the top of the frame as if on an armature, but it's clear
that it's hitting a sheet of Plexiglass in front of Ms. Lucci's mug (which
one version of the ad even cops to!) The scenes of her with cream on her
face are likewise fake-looking, like the goo was daubed on by the makeup
man. I'm disgusted just to think about it.
Rating: 1/2 star.
Reviewed by: Robert Payes
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