I spent some time looking, 
at books on "home cooking", 
When I first became 
an old hermit:

Canapes and entrees!- 
Souffles and parfaits! 
But to Hell with it! 
I'll never learn it.!

So, I've given up, 
reading "teaspoon" and "cup" - 
Now I just dump 
all that "stuff" in together.

Then I turn up the heat - 
burning "veggies" and meat 
For the "ambiance" of 
unplucked chicken feathers".

I make bugs, slugs and snails - 
even pan-fried entrails, 
And I have, on occasion, 
"thrown up".

Worms scurry through my slurry, 
but I never worry - 
I just cover 'em up 
with "ketchup".

So, for primitive cuisine 
that's downright unclean, 
there's no need 
to visit Fiji or Tibet.

Just come up on my hill 
for a bowl of my swill, 
And the "grubbiest grub" 
man ever "et"!