When Wonder Girl walked into the Happy Harbor hideout, there was a distinct smell of Pinesol in the air. Her nose wrinkled up automatically at the woodland odor. Not again, she thought. It wasn't long before she came upon Robin in the meeting hall. He had a rag tossed over his shoulder and was carrying a small bucket of soapy water. He set it down on the floor and quickly soaked up the water with the rag.

Cassie sighed. This was the third time this week. In fact, it could have even been more. She hadn't been able to come down a few days because of homework. She did not envy Robin one bit. "You have to clean the table again?"

"Yes," Robin replied curtly as he started to wipe at the table.

"Why?"

"Can I tell you how much I don't want to talk about it?"

That was never a good sign. All this time, Cassie had assumed it was some strange bat type anal compulsion for everything to be perfect. However, Robin didn't seem to be enjoying it at all. "Oh?" she asked confused.

Rob sighed. "Let's just say some stuff isn't good for oak."

Cassie tilted her head thoughtfully as she reflected on that. "Kon and Bart again?"

That surprised Robin and he couldn't quite hide his surprise. "Well," he started somewhat accusingly, "you kicked them out of the pool."

"I had to!" That was just an awful sight. They were her friends and everything but there was some stuff that shouldn't be done there. "I wasn't going to do my hundred laps while they were... y'know."

Rob sighed. "I know," he stated emphatically.

"Cissie kicked them out of the training room yesterday," Cassie recounted. "They just can't control themselves."

"I know, I know."

Cassie folded her arms. "They can be such...children."

"They are teenagers," Robin said explaining their immaturity away.

"But still," Cassie pouted.

Robin finished cleaning the table and dropped the rag in the bucket with a plop. "Do you want to try talking to them again?" he asked as he dried his gloves on his uniform. He grabbed the bucket and started walking to dump it out with Cassie following on his heels.

"Can't we have an adult talk to them? I don't want to again."

"Riiiight. I'll just call up Kon's work and say, excuse me but could you tell your agent and his friend to get a room and leave our cave alone."

Cassie frowned at Robin's mocking tone. "Well," she started. "I bet if Batman said something, they'd behave themselves forever."

"I am not talking to Batman about sex," Robin said pointedly.

Cassie stopped walking. She looked at Robin in disbelief. "Sex?" she gaped.

"Oh, look at the time," Robin flustered. "I've got to go. Yep, off to Gotham, here I go. I'll talk to you later."

"I was talking about their food fights! The peanut butter and jelly sandwich duel! Sex?!?"

"They have food fights in the pool?" Robin asked trying to change the topic.

"Well, *across* the pool." Cassie's eyes lit up as she realized another detail. "They have sex in the pool? They have sex?"

"I... um... well I don't know that for sure." Great, Robin thought, open mouth insert boot. And to think he was supposed to be known for his discretion.

At Robin's lack of denial, Cassie ran to the door, already screaming out into the hall. "Cissie! Get in here! You're not going to believe what I just found out!"

"Cassie, wait!" Robin dropped the bucket and ran after Cassie, trying to get her to stop. "Aw shit!" Kon was going to kill him. Murder him. Fricassee him.

Cassie flew through the cave until she found Cissie in the training room. She flew down, startling her. "Rob thinks Kon and Bart are having sex!"

Cissie stared at her dumbly for a moment. Robin screeched to a halt in the doorway, and Cissie's intent gaze fell upon him.

"Sex!" Cassie reiterated. "I mean seriously, they're having sex."

Cissie looked from Robin to Cassie and back again. "Bart and Kon?" she asked in a monotone. Cassie nodded and Robin simply stood as if he were frozen. After a scant moment of silence, Cissie started to laugh. And didn't stop.

Cassie frowned and looked at Robin.

Cissie continued laughing, not even able to catch her breath to speak. "Bart... Kon?" she managed incoherently between giggles.

Hearing the commotion, Secret floated out of the air vent in the wall. She looked at the group. Robin was standing around awkwardly. Cassie was pouting and Cissie... was near convulsion with laugher. "What's going on?" she asked concerned.

Cassie was still frowning. Cissie wasn't helping matters, she just wasn't taking this seriously. It was a juicy bit of gossip and needed to be treated with the same amount of respect as any other tidbit. "Rob thinks Bart and Kon are having sex," she explained. She looked over at Arrowette. "And Cissie thinks it's funny."

"Sex?" Secret repeated confused.

"I didn't say they did!" Robin near yelled, exasperated.

"You *so* think they did," Cassie retorted.

Cissie finally stopped laughing and seemed to be pondering the notion of Bart and Kon together, that way. Granted, she'd known Bart longer than Kon, and hadn't even known them as well as they thought. It had still been a shock when Cassie told her they were together. But sex...?

Robin threw his arms in the air. "This whole thing has gotten out of hand."

"Yeah," Cassie said, "and you stared it!"

"It doesn't matter who started it. We're just going to be adults and end the conversation now."

Cissie's mouth dropped. "Oh my God! That explains everything! They're having sex!"

Robin shook his head in disbelief. Where were homicidal supervillians when you needed them?

Cassie nodded, glad that Cissie was finally on the same page as her. "It explains the food fights. Foreplay," she said with certainty.

Tim shuddered at that visual. He tried pleading. "Can we stop talking about this? Please!"

Suzie brought a finger to the side of her mouth, like she usually did when she was confused. "Food is foreplay?"

Cissie nodded, ready to explain. "Well, not *all* food. Whip cream? Totally foreplay." Cassie nodded in support. "Same with strawberries," Ciss continued. "Though chocolate is more a substitution-"

Cassie cut her off. "I'm talking about the food fights those two have been having all over the base. They throw things at each other and then get it on in a closet or something?"

"Why would they get in a closet?" Suzie asked even more perplexed.

Robin felt a breeze blow past him as Bart sped into the room. "Why would who get in a closet?" he echoed.

Cissie froze. Cassie slammed her mouth shut. She looked at Bart slyly, trying to determine his virgin status.

"We were just talking about you," Secret answered, oblivious to the glares from Wonder Girl and Arrowette. Behind Bart's back they made discreet "shut up" hand motions at her that flew, metaphorically, over Secret's head.

"You were?" Bart said interested.

Robin cleared his throat, trying to head off a disaster. "We were just wondering when you were going to drop by again." Cassie and Cissie backed him up, nodding enthusiastically.

"But..." Suzie started but then grew silent as she tried to work through confusion again.

Bart looked at his friends, something was going on, but truth be told he really didn't care. He'd find out soon enough or he wouldn't, simple as that. "So... yeah, hi. I'm here, what's up with all you?"

Before anyone could think of something to say, Kon flew into the room. "You guys are not going to believe the day I had!" he exclaimed, obviously elated.

"Did it involve whipped cream?" Suzie asked.

Cassie looked mortified as she avoided Superboy's gaze. Cissie managed a weak smile she wasn't really feeling and Robin tried hard to avoid the headache he knew was starting. Kon looked at them confused. "Um... no." he said finally.

Robin once again, leaped up to explain. "Cassie was just telling us about an incident at a Baskin Robbins in the next town."

"Yeah!" she put in, not missing a beat. "Major food fight. With whipped cream and cherries. Yeah."

Robin and Cisise both tired hard not to react to the cherry part. Robin tried not to choke while Cissie was turning red with embarrassment.

"But anyway, your day?" Robin prompted.

Kon was still floating in the air, and was surveying his teammates with curiosity. His gaze fell on Cassie and she looked away. "Uh...y'know the usual," he stated now more interested in what he had missed here. "Big villain. Big battle. Pain. Triumph. Major Cadmus scolding. Wanted to come hang out with cool people." He regarded them skeptically, "But..."

"... you guys are acting all weird," Bart said finishing Kon's thought.

Rob covered his face with his hand. Oh lord, he thought, they finish each other's sentences. Cassie seemed in shock and Cissie cracked up. Bart turned to look at her but that only made her laugh harder. Bart looked at Kon for a clue, but Superboy merely shrugged. Turning his attention back to Cissie, who was giggling so hard her eyes were starting to tear, "Did I say something funny?"

Kon looked at Bart. "They're freaking me out."

"Evil clones?" Bart presented as an explanation.

"You want to go somewhere?"

"Sure maybe they'll be normal when we get back."

"Yeah," Kon said hopeful. "Race you to the next town over?"

Bart zipped off, then was back again. "Which town?" Bart asked.

"The *one*." Kon said with a slight wink. And flew away.

Bart watched as Kon got a head start. "That's not fair," he pointed out.

Kon called back over his shoulder. "Bart! Come on!"

"Coming!" Bart answered and he zipped off leaving four stunted teammates.

Finally, Suzie broke the silence to ask, "Where do you think they're going?"

Cissie would have offered an answer but she was too busy laughing between tears. Robin would have answered but he was too much in shock at everything that had happed so far. Finally, Cassie spoke up since she was the only one that could. "To have sex!"

"That conversation didn't prove anything!" Robin tired to point out.

"Oh my good God!" Cissie said between giggles. "Bart and Kon are having," she laughed and then managed to compose herself to say the last word, "sex!"

"It doesn't!" Robin tried to insist. Cassie walked over to clasp his shoulder sympathetically.

She broke the news gently to him. "They're having sex. Sorry."

"But... but.." Robin flustered. He gave up and sighed instead.

Cissie finally calmed herself down. "I never would have guessed. But it's so damn obvious now."

"So are they having sex or... no?" Secret asked still confused.

"Sex," Cassie asserted.

"Sex," Cissie said with finality.

Both girls looked at Robin. "Don't look at me like that."

They both put their hands on their hips. "Well?" they prodded.

Robin sighed. "Sex," he muttered.

Both girls grinned widely and looked at Suzie. "Sex."

"But," Secret started, still confused. "How can they? They're both male."

Robin's jaw dropped. "Okay, I'm leaving." He looked at Wonder Girl, "That one's all yours girl."

Cassie looked at Cissie, then leaned to whisper in her ear. Cissie nodded approving of the plan. Cissie pointed at Robin. "He'll tell you," she said before WG flew both of them out of the room.

Suzie floated over to Robin, waiting expectantly.

"I don't get paid enough for this."

Suzie's eyes widened. "You get paid?"

Robin shook his head in disbelief.

The next town over...

Kon waited patiently for Bart at the outskirts of the town.

Bart screeched to a stop looking up at Kon. "Darn," he deadpanned. "You beat me."

"Did you get lost or something?" Kon grinned.

"Nope, you beat me fair and square. Yes siree."

Kon smiled. "Good."

"So what do you think got into the guys?"

"I have no idea. You were there before me. What did they say?"

"They said something about a closet when I came into the conversation."

"Huh. A closet?"

"That's what Secret said."

Kon shrugged. "Weird."

"So anyways, what do you want to do?"

"Well, didn't WG say there was a new ice cream store downtown?"

"Cool, let's hit it."

~stories~