::Poetry::
The following poems are not mine. They are not my property and were not written by me. The web addresses for the respective poems or pieces can be found near or next to the corresponding poem or piece.
Does Heaven Have a Phone Number?
Daddy went to Heaven, but I need him here today,
My tummy hurts and I fell down, I need him right away,
Operator, can you tell me how to find him in this book?
Is Heaven in the yellow part? I don't know where to look.
I think Mommy needs him too, at night I hear her cry,
At night, she calls his name sometimes, I really don't know why.
Maybe, if I call him, he will hurry home to me,
Is Heaven very far away, is it across the sea?
He's been gone a long, long time and he needs to come home now!
I really need to reach him, but I simply don't know how.
Help me find the number please, is it listed under "Heaven"?
I can't read these big, big words, I am only seven.
I'm sorry Operator, I didn't mean to make you cry
Is your tummy hurting too, or is there something in your eye?
If I call my Church, maybe they will know.
Daddy said when we need help, that's where we should go.
I found the number to my Church tacked up on the wall
Thank you Operator, I will give them a call.
Friends
Are we friends
Or are we not?
You told me once
But I forgot.
So tell me now
And tell me true,
so I can say,
"I'm here for you."
Of all the friends
I've ever met,
You're the one
I won't forget
And if I die
Before you do,
I'll go to Heaven
And wait for you.
I'll give the angels
Back their wings
And risk the loss of everything
Just to prove my friendship is true,
To have a friend like you!
I Am A Woman
I shave my legs, I sit down to pee,
And I can justify any shopping spree.
Don't go to a barber, but a beauty salon
I can get a massage without a hard-on.
I can balance the checkbook, pump my own gas,
Can talk to my friends about the size of my ass.
My beauty's a masterpiece, and yes, it takes long
At least I can admit to others when I'm wrong.
I don't drive in circles at any cost,
I don't have a problem admitting I'm lost.
I never forget an important date
And, you just gotta deal with it, I'm usually late.
I don't watch movies with lots of gore
I don't need instant replays to remember the score.
I won't lose my hair, I don't get jock itch
And just 'cos I'm assertive, don't call me a bitch!
Don't say to your friends, "Oooh yeah, I can get her!"
Trust me, my dear, I can do better.
Flowers are OK, but jewellery's best,
Would you look at my face and not my chest!
I don't have a problem expressing my feelings,
I know when you're lying, you look at the ceiling.
Don't call me a girl, a babe or a chick --
I am a WOMAN, get it, you pr*ck?!
Sent to me by my good friend Lauren!!
Thanks Hun!
Untitled
A heart ain't a playing thing
A heart ain't a toy
If you want it broken
Give it to a boy
He'll break it into a thousand pieces
He'll break it like glass
And if he comes crawling back, say
..."HONEY, KISS MY ASS!!"
By Anonymous, sent in by my good friend Charito -- Thanks chica!