Ye Olde
Tea Shoppe
Ladies, please indulge yourself with some seriously chic
Shopping Therapy. Everything for the Tea drinking girl about town!
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Expensive Tea Commerce
This Site's crooked Tea entrepreneur fully intends to take any willing Tea
shop clients to the cleaners. Having said that, I do personally recommend
some of the items for sale here, as all the profits, no matter how small,
go to me. And I have a nasty little Tea habit to support, which costs an
absolute fortune.
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Tea-Club Badge
-Only $4-
Wear your Tea Badge with pride especially at Royal Events or secret Masonic
Happenings. Quite an awful accessory but at least gets you noticed.
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Tea-Hat
-Only $120-
Never go thirsty again with a plasma powered slightly portable boiling tea hat & mouthpiece. No-one will realise that you are secretly slurping gallons
of that gorgeous gastronomy.
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Tea-Shirt
-Only $30-
Made from real Asian Teabag paper. Not weatherproof. Wear your heart on your
sleeve, or chest, even. Complete with tea stains.
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Electronic Teasmade
-Only $200-
Popular bedside item back in Britain, this gadget makes the Tea then wakes
you with an alarm. Pre-loaded with extra-strong Green Tea, guaranteed to
blow your head clean off.
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Giant George Poster
-Only $10-
Close-up of George's worst features, made to measure the entire
wall of your living room. Not the thing
to behold. Great for scaring burgulars and doorstep evangelists.
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Nice Cup of Hot Tea
-Only $6-
Wherever you are in the world, George and his henchmen will post you a
lovely nice hot cup of tea. Cash on Delivery. Not insured against spillages.
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Pet Aardvark
-Only $150-
This lovable little fellow, born and bred in the Tea club's very own
Aardvark wildlife sanctuary, is desperate to find the right kind of family
that will look after him and his ant collection.
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George's Karaoke CD
-Only $5.99-
George secretly taped whilst singing in the bath.
Around two hundred of Georges blood curdling screetching out-of-tune
renditions of his teeth grinding howling favourites squeezed onto four
ghastly CD's. Oh, the pain of it all.
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Terminator
-Only $20,000-
This Tea drinking, Tea making Terminator from the future is a fantastic help
around the home and a dab hand at making a nice cup of Tea. Blasts unwelcome
coffee drinking visitors with an Uzi 9mm.
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Used Teabags
-Only $2 each-
George gives you the opportunity of reading his Tealeaves by spending a wad
of your cash on the purchase of his finest dregs. What an absolutely
revolting idea.
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Cuban Banana
-Only $1-
Not to be smoked like its similar shaped cigar cousin, although many people
do smoke bananas, except our George, who prefers to eat them. They go down
extremely well with a cup of tea. Discarded skins are best allocated to ones
enemies doorstep, with keystone consequences.
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Police Badge
Only $20
If you were working for the SFPD, and you had the boss from hell, you'd
probably resign, and tell him to stick his seven pointed badge up his
posterior. Thats only my opinion, but as we all know,
opinions are like assholes. Everybodys
got one.
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Dont Delay, Send Today!
Warning: Items may not appear in the post.
Do not trust your cash to this small-time hoodlum.
To George's HOME Page
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