What have you seen so far that you like about this country?
John: "You."

What do you do when you're cooped-up in a hotel room between shows?
George: "We ice skate."

Do you have any advice for teenagers?
John: "Don't get pimples."

Ringo, why do you wear two rings on each hand?
Ringo: "'Cause I can't get them through my nose."

You and the snow came to Washington at the same time today. Which do you think will have the greater impact?
Ringo: "The snow. We're leaving tomorrow."

Ringo, why do you think you get more fanmail than the other Beatles?
Ringo: "I don't know. I suppose it's because more people write to me."

Are you afraid military service might break up your careers?
John: "No. There's no draft in England right now. We're going to let you do our fighting for us."

Are you going to have a leading lady for the film you're about to make?
George: "We're trying to get the Queen. She sells, you know."

Can we look forward to anymore Beatle movies?
John: "Well, there'll be many more, but I don't know whether you can look forward to them or not."

Did you really use four-letter words on the tourists in the Bahamas?
John: "What we actually said was 'gosh.'"
Paul: "We may have said 'heavens!'"
John: "Couldn't have said that, Paul; More than four letters."

Do you fight amongst yourselves?
John: "Only in the mornings."

Do you like topless bathing suits?
Ringo: "We've been wearing them for years."

Do you plan to record any anti-war songs?
John: "All our songs are anti-war."

Beethoven figures in one of your songs. What do you think of Beethoven?
Ringo: "Oh, I love him. Especially his poems."

Do you hope to get a haircut at all?
George: "I had one yesterday."
Ringo: "You should have seen him the day before!"

How tall are you, Ringo?
Ringo: "Two feet, nine inches."

Were you worried about the oversized rough-necks who were trying to infiltrate the airport crowd on your arrival?
Ringo: "That was us."

What did you think when your airplane's engine began smoking as you landed today?
Ringo: "Beatles, women and children first!"

What is the biggest threat to your careers: the atom bomb or dandruff?
Ringo: "The atom bomb. We've already got dandruff."

When are you going to retire?
Ringo: "In about ten minutes."

Who in the world would the Beatles like to meet more than anyone else?
Ringo: "The real Santa Claus."

Do you have any special message for the Dutch youth?
John: "Tell them to buy Beatle records."

Do you wear wigs?
John: "If we do, they must be the only ones with real dandruff."

Does all the adulation from teenage girls affect you?
John: "Whenever I feel my head start to swell, I look at Ringo and know perfectly well we're not supermen."

How come you were turned back by immigration?
John: "We had to be deloused."

How do you feel about teenagers imitating you with Beatle wigs?
John: "They're not imitating us because we don't wear Beatle wigs."

How do you spend your time when you're cooped up in hotel rooms between shows?
John: "We play tennis and water polo, and hide ourselves from parole officers."

How do you stand in the draft?
John: "About 5' 11''."

Is it true that you can't sing?
John:(pointing to George) "Not me. Him."

John: "No more unscheduled public appearances. We've had enough. We're going to stay in our hotel except for concerts."
But won't this make you feel like caged animals?
John: "No, we feed ourselves."

Some people have been calling your work "Un-American." How do you respond to this?
John: "Well, that's very observant of them."

The French have not made up their mind about the Beatles. What do you think of them?
Beatles: "Oh, we like the Beatles. They're gear."

Why is it always the girls screaming at your concerts?
John: "Well, if it was just boys, it would be a bit funny, wouldn't it?"

Aren't you tired of all the hocus-pocus? Wouldn't you rather sit on your fat wallets?
Paul: "When we get tired, we take vacations on our fat wallets."

Recently, there has been an article published in Rolling Stone magazine saying that "Day Tripper" was about a prostitute, and "Norwegian Wood" was about a lesbian. What was your intent in writing these songs?
Paul: "We were just trying to write songs about prostitutes and lesbians."
***in the same interview, three minutes later***
What was the inspiration behind "Eleanor Rigby"?
John: "A couple of queers."

What do you think about the campaign in Detroit to stamp-out the Beatles?
Paul: "We've got a campaign of our own to stamp-out Detroit."

What kind of girl do you like, Paul?
Paul: "John's wife."
John: "Nobody likes a smart-aleck!"

Paul, how do you feel about the reports that say you're conceited?
Paul: "It's true!"

Hi, you're not married.
George: "No, I'm George."

How do you feel about the nightclub called Arthur, named after your hairstyle?
George: "I was proud -- until I saw the nightclub."

What do you think of the criticism that you're not very good?
George: "We're not."

How many of you are bald, that you have to wear those wigs?
Beatles: "All of us!"
Paul: "I'm bald."
John: "And I'm deaf and dumb too."

Why are your speaking voices different than your singing voices?
George: "We don't have a musical background."

Why don't you smile, George?
George: "It'll hurt my lips."

What are your plans for movies?
Paul: "We've got to do a new one in February. We haven't made any plans for it as yet; we talked to the director."
No plans?
Paul: "No, nothing."
George: "No title, no script."
Ringo: "No script, no actors."

Where do your hair-dos originate from?
George: "Our scalps."

Are there plans for a movie?
George: "Yeah. Well, when we get back to England from this current visit of America..."
John: (giggling) "...to America."
George: "...by America, yeah. Well, you see, we're making a film--which we don't know the title of--but it should be a film just about us."
Paul: "We don't know the script, and we don't know what songs will be in it."
George: "It should be released in the States by the end of this year sometime, we hope."
John: (laughing) "With no title and no songs."
Paul: "And no script."

Why do you think you're so popular?
John: "It must be the weather."
Do you think it's your singing?
Paul: "I doubt it. I don't know what it could be."

What do you think of President Johnson?
Paul: "Does he buy our records?"

How do you like not having any privacy?
Paul: "We do have some."
John: "We just had some yesterday, didn't we, Paul? Tell them."

Ringo, you didn't look too happy when you got off the airplane. Was there any reason?
Ringo: "If you'd been on it fifteen hours, how would you look?"

Do you plan to change your hairstyle anytime soon?
Ringo: "Not our hair, just our clothes."

George, what caused you to throw a scotch-and-coke at a reporter in Los Angeles?
George: "He was a very nasty young man."
John: "Old man."
George: "He'd been told to leave anyway, you see. He insisted on jumping around and trying to take pictures, and we couldn't see with somebody flashing us in front. So I thought I'd baptize him."

What do you plan to do after the breakup of the Beatles?
Paul: "No one has made any plans, but John and I will probably carry on songwriting, and George will go into basketball."
George: "Or rollerskating. I haven't really decided."

Did you write "Ringo's Theme"?
George: "No, did you?"

What do you do when you're confined to your hotel room?
Ringo: "We just sit 'round and watch telly, radio..."
John: "Watch the radio!"

Ringo, are you going to have your tonsils taken out? And have you had that offer yet from a girl to send her the tonsils?
Ringo: "We got the telegram, but I don't think I'm going to give them to her."
John: "We're going to auction them off."

What was the most unusual gift you ever received?
John: "I once received a bra with 'I love John and George' on it. I thought it was pretty original. I didn't keep it; It didn't fit."

What excuse do you have for your collar-length hair?
John: "Well, it just grows out yer head."

What do you think you've contributed to the music business?
Ringo: "Records."

Can you sing for us?
Beatles: "No!"
John: "We need money first."

Are you concerned with the rumor going around that the Rolling Stones are now more important than the Beatles?
Paul: "It doesn't worry us."
John: "'Cause we manage them."

What does your music do for these people?
Ringo: "It pleases them, I think. It must, because they're buying it."
Why does it excite them so much?
Paul: "We don't know, really."
John: "If we did, we'd form another group and be managers."

Do you hope to take anything home with you?
George: "Rockefeller Center."

Do you like being Beatles?
John: "Yes, or we'd be the Rolling Stones."

When you do a new song, how do you decide who sings lead?
John: "We just get together, and whoever knows most of the words sings the lead."

Paul, what do you think of columnist Walter Winchell?
Paul: "He said I'm married, and I'm not."
George: "Maybe he wants to marry you?"

What annoys you most?
Paul: "Nothing annoys us, really. Some things make us laugh. Like those 'stamp-out-the-Beatles' gags. And the other day, a photographer asked if he could take two pictures of us, one with our wigs on, and one with our wigs off."

Do you date much?
Ringo: "What are you doing tonight?"

Girls rushed towards my car because it had press identification and they thought I met you. How do you explain this phenomenon?
John: "You're lovely to look at."

What careers would you individually have chosen had you not become entertainers?
George: "I had a short go at being an electrician's apprentice, but I kept blowing things up, so I got dumped."

Are you wearing wigs or real hair?
George: "Our hair's real. What about yours, lady?"

What would happen if you switched to crew cuts?
John: "It would probably be the end of the act."

How do you add up success?
Beatles: "Money!"
What will you do when Beatlemania subsides?
John: "Count the money."

When do you rehearse?
John: "We don't!"
Paul: "Yeah, of course we do."
John: "Paul does, we don't."

What do you expect to find here in Australia?
John: "Australians, I should think."

Does it bother you that you can't hear what you sing during concerts?
John: "No, we don't mind. We've got the records at home."

Do you enjoy press conferences?
John: "Yes, depending on the intelligence of the questions."