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| - Movie Script - |
| I know, I know I said more quotes, but hey, where else to get quotes than the movie script itself? Huh? I think that it's good to see and look over the whole thing, kinda fun actually, remembering scenes, ect. I couldn't find any sites with the script for it!! So I did this all on my own!! So tiring.. I could almost say this was the only script online for this movie... unless somone knows a better search engine.. enjoy.. this will take a while, so the script here will progress througout the time I copy the lines... |
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| Movie Script for: Conspiracy Theory -- Bus pulls away with Warner Bros. logo on it -- Following Jerry Fletcher's cabby around New York City.-- Jerry is talking about several conspiracy theories -- Jerry: "All the fathers of Nobel Prize winners were rounded up by United National Military and actually forced at gunpoint to give semen samples in little plastic jars which are now stored below Rockefeller Center underneath the ice scating rink. You don't wanna be there for the thaw, yuck. --Taxi rides on, credits are shown-- Jerry: "I mean it's disgusting you know what they put in the water don't you? Flouride. yea flouride, under the pretext that it strengthens your teeth! That's ridiculous. You know what this stuff does to you? It actually weakens your will. Takes away, the capacity for free and creative thought, and makes you a slave to the state. --Movie Title is shown-- Jerry: "You ever wonder about these militia groups? Survivalist type groups? They say they're defending the country from the UN troops. These guys are yellin' so loud, my theory is, and this is a conspiracy pal, that they are the UN troops and that they're in place, the infra structure is pretty complete, and when the time comes they'll just take over and we'll all be toast.." Jerry: "Arman goes to the doctor and the doctor says, 'I'm sorry you've only got three minutes to live' and Arman says 'That's terrible, three minutes isn't there anything you can do for me doc?' and the doctor says, 'well arman I can boil you an egg.." -old lady stares at him from the back of the cab- Jerry: "Guess not," Jerry: "Ever see those advirtisements like got milk?" --man tries to get into the cab, Jerry locks the door and snaps a picture-- Man: Hey open up, hey open it up," Man: "What's going on in there? Son of a bitch!" --Jerry drives away-- Jerry: "I mean it's kinda like saying smoke cigaretts, or drive cars; I mean it's really--" Jerry: "This guy looks at me and says "you think were living in a free country? You think this is a democracy? Of course it's not." Jerry: "Web sites, newsletters, self published manifests, they think were kooks. I mean George Bush knew what he was saying when he said 'New world order' you remember those three little words, 'New world order'? Well he was a 33rd degree mason, and listen, ex-director of the CIA." Jerry: "Spinning and spinning their weels, hey, I'm sure your hearts in the right place but somebody's got lift the scab, the festering scab that is the vadic." Jerry: "The chip for identification so that they can track an animal where ever he's at. They'll insert it under the dog's skin and that's kinda like an identification thing. I mean it's only a small logical step until they start puting it in us and our children, before we know it they'll probably--" --Woman in cab holds up a hundred as if to bribe Jerry into letting her out of the cab.-- Jerry: "Hey is that one of those new hundreds? You know when they changed the picture of Ben Franklin? Yea, he looks like the love child of Fred Mertz and Rosie O' Donnel. Yea that's it, get rid of it as soon as you can lady. Hold it up to the light, see that metal strip in it? That's a tracking device. Gotta any more of those, get rid of them. They know where--" Jerry: "Black Helecopters, you heard about them right?" --pears out above the car windsheild-- Jerry: "They're everywhere, yea there on whisper mode so you can't hear them till' they've already gone, ya know?" --looks back to see no one in the back seat-- Jerry: "There's no one there.." Jerry: "Ooh, there, there was no there, what am I talkin'---why's the meter on?" --An ambulance rushes past and Jerry lifts his head. Then takes out binaculars and a sandwitch-- --Woman appears (Alice Sutton-Julia Roberts) getting onto the tred mill, singing to the music-- Jerry: "She's singing." --Flips the radio channels around until he finds "Can't take my eyes off you,"-- Jerry: "Bingo." --begins humming and dancing slightly-- Alice then begins to run, looking sad-- Jerry: "Why do you do that? Why do you push yourself." --Drives off to another area of New York City. Pulls up on the side and splashes water over drummers and a crippled man in a wheel chair-- Drummer: "Man.." Drummer2: "Man Whasup--" Flip: "Hey, c'mon brothers play on.." --Jerry begins honking the horn, dancing and bouncing around in the cabby-- Flip: "Ah-- look at him." Jerry: "Can you swim man." Flip: "Hell no, they say the subway's a danm river," Flip: "Whasup Jerry, whachu thinkin'?" Jerry: "Well, water mains don't usually go until the winter, pipes burst open because it's cold an.. it's only the first of September," Flip: "Like livin' in the Delta," Jerry: "Yea Mississippi alright. Hey did I ever tell you that the whole veitnam war was fought over a bet, that Howard Hughes lost to Aristotle Onasis?" Flip: "I hear that, and they used my legs as a wishbone, snap my buddies in half." Jerry: "They owe you." Flip: "No, you owe me." Jerry: "Ooh ahh I'll catch you tomarrow." Flip: "Okay, peace." Jerry: okay, you take it easy." --Drives away to a small section of apartments, backs up into another car causing it to propel backwards into something--Jerry then looks around suspiciously and starts climbing up a long staircase on the side of the building-- Jerry: " 71- 72 - 73 - 74 - 75 - 76 --" [ stops watch ] "Not bad.. Good Good, I could do that again if I had too, maybe even three of four times, hey, someone's growing a garden on the roof, hey well, right for the picking.. ah-food. ew, ahh, pluah, [ spits it out ] that's disgusting what is that? Ah, no matter. [ opens door ] hey, I didn't leave this open someone's been up-- Oh, I'm not the only one with a key I suppose.." [ sneaks down the stairs to his apartment ] |
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