Stephanie glanced up at her lover and smiled. "Well, you heard what that pig Matt Hardy said at the arena tonight, right?"
"That sexist bullshit?" Ivory asked.
"Yes, exactly. What a dog." Stephanie narrowed her eyes. "Just ‘cos he's gay and has no ‘use for women' is no excuse for it! He has no fucking right to tell me I should be at home with two kids instead of working."
"True, but what does that have to do with this stuff?" Ivory pressed, gesturing to the variety of strange objects before them.
Stephanie chuckled, her lips curving in a wicked smile. "I'm gonna get him back, Ivy," she replied.
"With this stuff?" Ivory looked confused, her eyes running over the objects again. "How?"
Stephanie turned to face Ivory, her eyes practically glowing. "I'm gonna put a spell on him!"
Ivory stared at her lover. "A spell?" she gasped.
"Yep." Stephanie raised her eyebrows. "I'm a witch. Didn't you know that?"
"Wow." Ivory swallowed. "Are you sure this is really a good idea, Steph? What if something goes wrong, and your dad finds out? Wouldn't he be upset to find out that you're - you know - a witch?"
Stephanie laughed. "I doubt it, Ivy. Who do you think I learned from?"
Ivory's eyes grew wider. "Vince is a witch?!?"
"Oh yeah." Stephanie chuckled. "My daddy is the best! Now, I have to get started on the spell." She began arranging the objects in a certain order, pulling what looked like incense sticks out of her bag. "I'll show him ‘barefoot and pregnant'," she muttered as she closed her eyes and began to weave the spell.
***
"Oh Shaw!" Matt cried as he was slammed up against the door. He met the big man's ferocious kisses, winding his arms around Bradshaw's neck. He wrapped his legs around the larger man's waist, groaning as he felt Shaw's hardness pressing against him. "God I want you," he hissed into Bradshaw's ear, tightening the grip of his legs around him. Shaw finally managed to get the door open, and they stumbled into the hotel room, immediately falling back onto the bed.
Matt wasted o time in yanking off his clothes, throwing them into a rumpled pile on the floor. Shaw did the same. He pulled Matt back into his arms, pressing their naked flesh together. "We need protection," Shaw gasped as their erections brushed against each other.
Matt shook his head, pushing Shaw onto his back and straddling his hips. "Screw it," he panted, spreading his legs open wide over Shaw's length. "I like it raw," he growled, closing his eyes and lifting his hips up, sinking slowly down on Shaw's cock. His face contorted with the pain. Once Shaw was fully sheathed within him, he paused for just a second before beginning to move at the quick, frantic pace.
"Oh!" Matt cried, throwing his head back in pleasure. "Oh god, yes, baby, yes!" He continued to bounce on his lover of the night, both of them moaning happily as their flesh melded together. Matt drew it out as long as he could before coming with a loud moan. His body shook as ecstasy flooded through him. Panting from the exertion, he slid off of Shaw and moved down his body, bringing him off with his mouth.
They both lay still for a moment as they recovered. Bradshaw sighed happily and pulled out a cigar, lighting it and taking a big puff. "I heard you were a good date," he said with a chuckle. "Guess I heard right. That was fucking fantastic!"
"You were hot too, baby," Matt purred, smiling contentedly. "I've taken a lot of dick, but yours is very nice. Stop by my locker room sometime and I'll suck you off." He climbed out of bed, pushing a few stray hairs out of his face. "I'm gonna shower now. See you at the show tomorrow." He walked into the bathroom, while Shaw picked his clothes off the floor and dressed before leaving the room.
Matt closed the bathroom door, glancing approvingly at his reflection in the mirror. His skin bore the rosy flush he always had after sex. He ran a hand down his flat stomach, thinking how good he looked. "With a body like this, no wonder everyone wants me," he commented with a smirk. Still grinning smugly, he switched on the shower and climbed in once the water was nice and hot.
Matt hummed to himself as he soaped his body up, replaying the night in his mind. Suddenly, he felt an odd pang in his abdomen. He paused for a second and ran his hand over the area. There didn't seem to be anything odd about it. Matt shrugged it off and thought no more of it.
***
Several Months Later
"Jeff, how long are you going to be in there?!?" Matt demanded. He was feeling rather ill, and wanted badly the take a nice, hot shower.
"I'll be out when I'm out!" Jeff yelled back. "I'm shaving!"
"Can't you finish that later?" Matt groaned, putting a hand to his stomach. It had been bothering him a lot lately. "I'm really not feeling well, Jeff."
"Well take some Tylenol, then! I'm not going anywhere until I'm done, and I'm certainly not staying in our room all day," Jeff stated.
Matt closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and trying to ignore the sick feeling in his gut. "Jeff, please. I feel really sick!" He clapped his hand over his mouth as he felt bile rising in his throat. He leapt off the bed and shoved the bathroom door open, falling onto his knees before the toilet as he threw up.
"God, I guess you are sick." Jeff was watching Matt with concern. He was wearing a pair of loose blue jeans, which hung low on his firm hips. His torso was bare, his long blue hair tied up in a bun on top of his head. He was in the process of shaving his facial hair into a several stripes, the way he always liked to have it.
"I know." Matt groaned again and leaned back against the wall.
"Matt, maybe you should go to the doctor," Jeff suggested, kneeling down next to his brother. "You've been throwing up for like a week."
"I must have the flu or something," Matt muttered, wrapping his arms around his still queasy stomach. "I'll talk to the doctor before the show."
***
Ivory leaned over Stephanie's desk, blinking at the McMahon princess innocently. "Stephie, are you ever going to tell me what you did to Matt?" she prodded, playing with a strand of Stephanie's silky hair.
Stephanie looked up, grinning wickedly. "Not yet sweetheart. Why do you ask?"
"I just saw him talking to the doctor," Ivory continued, watching Stephanie's face closely. "He's been feeling a bit ill lately, apparently."
Stephanie chuckled. "By now, he should be," she said in a sly tone.
"Oh come on, Stephie!" Ivory swatted her lover's arm. "Tell me! I can't wait for that sexist pig to get what he deserves, and the suspense is killing me!"
Stephanie considered for a moment, glanced around carefully, then pulled Ivory close to her and began whispering in her ear. Ivory's eyes widened. She stared at her lover, mouth hanging open. "You're kidding me! You can do that?"
"Can and have," Stephanie replied with a confident smirk. "I told you he was gonna pay, and he is."
"Big time," Ivory agreed, her eyes still wide. The two women looked at each other for a minute, then burst into hysterical giggles.
***
A Few Weeks Later, in Vince's office
The owner of the WWF peered at Matt Hardy over folded hands. "Matt, I called you in here because I'm rather concerned about you," Vince said slowly. "You seem to be in ill health of late, and you've also been gaining some weight."
Matt sat before his boss' desk, fidgeting uncomfortably. "I know," he replied, putting a hand to his unsettled and rather round stomach. "I think I've just got a nasty strand of the flu or something."
Vince didn't looked convinced. "And the weight gain?"
Matt shrugged, feeling helpless. "I don't know, Vince. I've been hitting the gym harder than ever! It just won't go away."
Vince said nothing, his eyes piercing into Matt in a way that made the elder Hardy flinch. "Matt, tell me exactly when and how this started," Vince commanded. "When was the first time you felt something out of the ordinary?" The look on his face left no room for objection.
Matt thought back, trying to recall the first symptom. "I guess it was a few months ago," he decided. "It was nothing really, just like a twinge in my abdomen. My stomach kept feeling funny, then I started throwing up and - well, this." Matt patted the slight bulge in his abdomen.
"Do you remember what happened the day you had the first symptom?" Vince asked, looking a little suspicious. "Anything out of the ordinary?"
"Um - " Matt thought for a moment and shrugged. "Well, I did get in a fight with Stephanie. She overheard me saying something she found offensive and started bitching me out about it. Wasn't really unusual, except that she was really pissed."
Vince listened with interest, nodding his head slowly. "I think you may have something there," he said, a contemplative look on his face. "Hold on." He picked up the phone on his desk and dialed his daughter's cell phone number.
"Hello?" came Stephanie's cheerful greeting.
"Honey, could you come to my office?" Vince requested.
"Sure daddy. See you in a sec!"
Vince hung up the phone, his eyes returning to Matt. "She's coming, and I think we're going to get some answers now."
***
"Daddy?" Stephanie bounced into her father's office, a wide grin on her face. "You wanted to see me?"
"Yes, I did." Vince's eyes bored into his daughter unrelentingly, but his gaze was still gentle. "Honey, what did you do to Matt?" Vince asked in a level voice.
Stephanie giggled and glanced at the brunette. "What makes you think I did anything?" she asked, blinking her eyes innocently.
"Honey." Vince crossed his arms over his chest.
Stephanie giggled again. "Ok, I did. But he deserved it!" She eyed Matt with disdain, crossing her arms. "He said that women are useless and stupid and shouldn't be in the workplace, only at home raising children! I decided to teach him a lesson."
Vince groaned, closing his eyes and rubbing the bridge of his nose to try and relieve his growing headache. "Honey, tell me you didn't - "
"I did." Stephanie was grinning widely. She walked over to Matt and stood in front of him, reaching out to pat his swollen abdomen. "In a few months, Matt, you're going to be a daddy!" she told him.
Matt paled, glancing at Vince. "What? But - but I haven't slept with any girls, it's not possible!"
Stephanie rolled her eyes. "I'm afraid you're the one who's pregnant, hon. Why do you think you've been throwing up so much? Morning sickness. Give it a little time, and that belly'll be as round as a ball!"
Matt had turned absolutely white. He was staring at Stephanie wide-eyed, apparently too shocked to speak. Vince sighed loudly and shook his head. "Stephanie, I really wish you'd think your spells through! How am I supposed to explain Matt's absence from our shows for months?"
Stephanie shrugged. "Just have him get an ‘injury' or something. You know I can't reverse it, dad, so you'll have to think of something."
"I know." Vince sighed again. His eyes returned to Matt after a moment. "I don't want you wrestling in this condition," he told the elder Hardy. "You can do a few run-ins, but no bumps. We'll explain it somehow. Try to wear loose shirts, too, for the time we can have you on camera. Also, there's one more matter we have to deal with." Vince paused, leaning a little closer to the still stunned wrestler. "Who's the father?"
Matt just stared at him. "W-what?"
Stephanie rolled her eyes at Matt. "In layman's terms, who'd you screw that night?"
Matt thought back, glancing up at them both. "I went out with Bradshaw that night. But he can't be - I can't be - this just isn't possible!"
Stephanie smiled, her eyes twinkling with merriment. "I'm afraid it is, hon. Now, you have a choice to make. Do you tell him, or not?"
Matt stared at her. "He'd think I was insane! Besides, I haven't even talked to him since that night."
"Well, it's your choice Matt," Vince said, standing and ushering Matt out of the room. "I suggest you make it soon. And you might want to pay a visit to the doctor." Matt was still too stunned to object as the door closed behind him.
***
"Dammit!" Matt yelled, throwing his fifth pregnancy test across the room. It had just come up with a big plus. He had taken five different tests, from different brands, and each one had come up positive.
Jeff sat on the bed, an extremely amused look on his face. "I can't believe you got knocked up, Matt!" he exclaimed. "This is so cool, I'm gonna be an uncle!"
"This is not cool!" Matt yelled. "I cannot be pregnant!"
"Well, you are," Jeff stated matter of factly. "Now, the first, MOST important thing we have to do is - "
Matt looked expectantly at his brother. "Yes?" he prodded.
A broad smile broke out on Jeff's face. "Go shopping, of course! You're gonna need to get lots of new clothes! And, while we're at it, I might as well get some too!"
Matt groaned and sunk into a chair. He buried his face in his hands. "Shit, I can't believe this!" Matt began to rub his temples, taking a deep breath to calm himself. "I've got to tell Shaw."
Jeff raised his eyebrows. "You're seriously going to tell him?"
"I have to." Matt put a hand on his stomach and swallowed. "You think I can handle this baby all by myself?"
"I could help you with it," Jeff offered.
Matt gave his brother a dumb look. "Jeff, have you ever even held a baby?"
"Um - " Jeff thought for a moment, then shrugged sheepishly. "No, guess not. Have you?" he challenged, crossing his arms.
"Once or twice." Matt sighed deeply. "God, I don't want to think about that right now! I just have to figure out how to tell him. He's gonna think I'm crazy, but I have to convince him."
***
Bradshaw stormed into his locker room, slamming the door behind him. Faarooq looked up, eyeing his partner curiously. "What's eating you?" he inquired as Shaw threw his bag down.
"That little idiot, Matt Hardy!" Shaw growled. "I fucked him a couple of months ago, and he's been hounding me for weeks telling me he's pregnant! I tried to explain to the moron that men can't get pregnant, but he seems to think they can."
Faarooq scratched his chin thoughtfully. "Maybe that's why he hasn't been wrestling lately. He has been gaining some weight, too."
Shaw stared at his partner. "You must be joking! Don't tell me you actually believe it?!?"
"Why not?" Faarooq shrugged. "It's a well-known fact that Matt royally pissed Stephanie off, and no one pisses her off and gets away with it. She probably cast a spell on him." Faarooq paused for a moment, his eyes rolling back in his head. He looked like he was in deep concentration, so Shaw didn't disturb him. After a moment, Faarooq blinked his eyes and refocused on the dark-haired Texan. "Yep, it was a spell. She did it to teach him a lesson. You should listen to him, Shaw. Poor guy's scared as hell."
"What?" Shaw gasped, shaking his head in disbelief. "What the fuck makes you think that?!?"
"I don't think it, I know it," Faarooq replied. His eyebrows raised. "I know it because I'm psychic. You didn't know that?"
Shaw was staring at his partner, his mouth hanging open. "You're kidding!!!" he exclaimed in utter shock.
Faarooq gave him a look. "Do I ever kid about thinks like that? I'm psychic, Steph's a witch, and Matt's pregnant. You're the one who knocked him up, so you go find him and take responsibility for what you've done." Faarooq stood up and guided his still shocked partner to the door. He pushed Shaw out into the hall, giving him a friendly pat on the back. "Good luck," he said with a smile as he closed the locker room door.
***
