1. Your invitation arrives 4 days before the wedding.
2. The programs weren't there yet. When they got there, you had to beg the hostess to give you one.
3. The usher didn't know which side of the church was the Bride's or the Groom's.
4. The wedding started an hour after the time on the invitation.
5. There were visible safety pins in the bridesmaid's dresses.
6. The groomsman had his tux leg rolled up.
7. You smelled marijuana as the wedding party went down the aisle.
8. The bridesmaid answered a cellular phone during the ceremony.
9. One of the members of the party had on sunglasses.
10. The preacher's cell phone goes off and he answers it in the middle of the ceremony.
11. The vocalist/musicians didn't know the words to the songs.
12. The happy couple already have kids, and most of them were in the wedding.
13. The Bride's hair had grown 14 inches in a week.
14. There were more than 40 people in the wedding party.
15. The mother of the Groom had her shoes off during the ceremony.
16. The groom's ex was found hiding under a pew right before the preacher asked for "objections".
17. You noticed the price tags hanging under the arms of several of the bridesmaid's gowns (they plan on taking back the dresses if they don't get spots on them)
18. Music by Luke, Diana Ross, Ludacris, and Lionel Richie was played at the reception.
19. The champagne toast was Asti Spumanti.
20. The strippers from the bachelor party were in the audience.
21. The couple's first dance was to a song by "Puff Daddy" or "Lil' Kim".
22. The LECTRICK SLIDE (electric slide) was played at least five times.
23. The wedding cake was from Sam's Club.
24. The lady serving the punch advised you to keep your cup.
25. Tuna fish and pimento cheese sandwiches were rationed.
26. You saw groomsmen making trips to 7-11 and KFC to restock the buffet.
27. At least one fight broke out (usually the bridesmaids fighting over the bouquet)
28. The best man made the toast and called the bride by the wrong name.
29. The DJ had an entourage of 8 or more people.
30. The photographer took 1,762,491 pictures (and none of them came out)
31. The toast was with malt liquor.
The only air conditioning was a hand held fan from the local
funeral home.
The ring bearer was wearing a Starter jacket.
The wedding was delayed because the Groom was late.
The Groom arrived with a 40 oz.
Some groomsmen were not wearing socks.
Some bridesmaids were wearing platform shoes like THE SPICE GIRLS.
There were more than 40 people in the wedding party.
The happy couple already had more than 6 kids between them.
The communion wine came from Food Lion.
The salute to the bride took more than 5 minutes, and involved
sound effects.
The strippers from the bachelor & bachelorette parties were in the
audience.
After the couple was pronounced husband & wife, at least 1 of
their mothers shouted out at the top of her lungs, "THANK YOU LORD JESUS CHRIST ALMIGHTY"!!!!
***AT THE RECEPTION***
The limo's were actually the family cars from the funeral home
that provided the church fans.
The couple had the limo stop by Winn Dixie for cold beer on the
way to the reception.
The person announcing the names of the wedding party, couldn't pronounce most of them.
There were twice as many people at the reception than were at the wedding.
The couples first dance was to a song by "Master P".
The buffet included collard greens, chitlins and or pig's feet.
The reception photo's were ruined by unsupervised kids, running in front of the
photographer.
Many of the guests were armed.
All slow dancing looked like a "DIRTY DANCING" audition.