Welcome to the Official MOG recruitment site, Operating since 2000 or 2001!
A new purpose has been found for Mog: Submit to Imprints!
Mog Official Quote of the Day!
remember that time when the Lord and Lady Mazons were having high tea with the Duke and Duchess of Pennyworth Manor, and Jamie made a snide quip about how the biscuits that he was daintly nibbling upon seemed a mite soggy, and so Duke Pennyworth rose with a clamorous thunder from his oaken sitting chair and demanded that Jamie face him in the Queen's garden at noon the next day or be thought a coward by all the other men at the club, but Jamie dismissed this with a faint "bah" and declared that there would be no sport in that, as the Pennyworths had a fine reputation of fleeing like a yellow thrush on the first day of Fox's Fair, causing Baron Von Peter to glance up from his overstuffed chair where he was reading his London Mirror and comment that he had in fact killed all the thrushes in the grand isles earlier that day?
Currently MOG has forty-eight members, and a mascot/adviser. The members and duties are:
Mog 1 (MOJO) : Founder and leader. Controls 90% of world's supply of monkey attack article collections. Dedicated to crushing the freedom fighters before start of rainy season. Now has three club meetings on monday! Update more? eh...
Mog 2 (NAZER) : Co-leader. Responsible for most actual work. According to accusations by Shoenar, may not be normal. Arch-nemesi include: very large bees, The Germanator's belt buckle. Rallying cry is "TAKAKO UEHARA!" Recent crazed activity is being traced to "Business Week"
Mog 3 (SHOENAR) : Keeper of unruly killer monkees that spit out bees from their mouth when they attack. Recently promoted to "Mandatory Filipino guy" May live in sandwich house. Was being rapidly promoted. Unlocks the awesome power of apples. (Position now permanent.) Has fun asking every girl in school to Homecoming, often more than one on any given day.
Mog 4 (THE GERMANATOR) : Currently 2nd tallest member of MOG May or may not have long term plans for beating up Hong Kong. May also grow hiliarous mustache. According to accusations, may be "Uber". Most recent promotion for reckless use of explosives, and becoming Mog's demolition leader. Mass produced air cannnons may be in his future.
Mog 5 (WULF) : Does know he joined! Is attending UW. Look out, Krusty! He's Irish! Involved with songs about money.
Mog 6 (DRIVER) : Enjoys driving fast and mocking Mog 3. Don't we all! Is co-captain of the frisbee team. At UW now.
Mog 7 (HUTZ) : Could very possibly one day get around to making a really good M.O.G. website. Soon! I said faster! Has his own web site: Organized Design Has a head of long, luxrious hippie hair.
Mog 8 (SHAKES) : Most handshakiest member. Shakes many a hand. Has shirt depicting monster of some kind disguised as Japanese writing. Cho king! Here, El Rey runs the show.
Mog 9 (GANDHI) : Draw pilgrim! May want to build the GandhiLand of gold! With the 600ft anamatronic waving Gandhi! Tackles those who deserve it. Can he defeat green arrow? With only one arm?
Mog 10 (GOBLIN TRENCHES) : Leftistiest member. Only elected official in that learnin' hut!!! Needs to seize control of council. Boxes drafts.
Mog 11 (MASTER CHIEF) : Part of that debating squad. Involved with that thing with the something... uh... two towers!
Mog 12 (SQUEAKS) : Has one of em crazy talkin' voice things. Frisbees like he means it. Berates Shoenar when running becomes a concern.
Mog 13 (BACKFLIP) : Only member of MOG who can do backflips! BACK FLIP! Allowed in under new recruiting policies. What happened to this guy?
Mog 14 (SEIKENJU) : Skilled at using violence as a means of resolving problems! Luckily this fits in well with our agenda. Joins Mog 6 (and now 17) as the enforcers of M.O.G. Visit his site at Is a deputy of some kind in Okieland.
Mog 15 : (NARU or something) Write bizzare things on Mog 2's hand. May continue to do so. Has golf ball/garlic oyster crackers on his car.
Mog 16 (47) : Has a number and a name! But one is a name! Also a number! Who was this?
Mog 17 (CAPTAIN CONSERVATIVE) : With his addition, Mog now has three enforcers! If only we had some sort of agenda... Prevents Mog from going liberal. May have plans to become Admiral Ivar.
Mog 18 (ICHIRO) : Agreed to join without knowing what Mog does! Ichiro, Ichiro,
Ichiro! Frog splash?
Mog 19 (KATH MAN) : Joined following long standoff. So long dental plan! Lisa needs braces! Go to The Basilik, home of the official newsletter of Mr. Nutty's protein wafers...and Bradd the Bi-Plane, but don't let that stop you from visiting. Can also be called crazy Ivan.
Mog 20 (ALABAMA) : Recruited by Shoenar. We need more information. Writes freaky stories about Digimon, Bananas and those crazy Russians. Wears the tightest pants ever... Shoenar must be punished. Why does this guy be here?
Mog 21 (QUIKSILVER) : Sings song about shooting stuff. Has all equipment needed for string of daring Mid-West gas station hold ups. We suspect that he is currently employed by the IRA. Fights Eurasians on regular basis.
Mog 22 (MOGG FANATIC) : Needed some convincing, probably not aware of joining. Eh. In California now.
Mog 23 (ARLISS) : Involved with dumpsters. Maybe too involved... Owner of the perpetual uncouthed mustache. Dang old talking about them prank phone calls, jolly good dang old humor. As of 10/9/2002, still deshelvededable.
Mog 24 (DAS TAFFY) : The only Mog member more German than the Germanator. Now he may stop with the German talk! Wait... it is hilarious! DAS GOOD! Was sent back to the Vaterland.
Mog 25 (GAMEBOY) : As you can tell, has a Game Boy. Why is this special? Not really sure. The gamest boy in town. Games a lot.
Mog 26 (CADERP) : Mandatory Greek guy. Enjoys wuss rock. Dyed hair to funky dead chicken skin. Probably will be demoted/gamblored. Them spaceships are troublesome ain't they?
Mog 27 (VAX) : Windows! Linux! Windows! Linux! And so on... PTs cruising?
Mog 28 (ESPY) : Another member. Concerned with that learning and such. Veteran of hostile baseball coaches, should the problem occur. History day frustration for Terry?
Mog 29 (DAS BOOT) : Kin of Zeitgiest. May attack with Clarinet if provoked. Can recite pi to the 67th digit past the decimal. Is currently under observation for paranormal activity. Much smaller version of Mog 4. Reports some of Zeitgeist's more reckless activities. With good cause!
Mog 30 (ELENA) : A member. This is a profile. It sure is!
Mog 31 (REMY SPOTTING) : Second female member in MOG. Needs hits on her site LONELY SITE Go or may unleash hidden Martian Popping things concealed under her (male) toy Hawaiian figure's skirt. *shudders at thought of man wearing skirt* Not too sure who this is either.
Mog 32 (BROKEN NOSE SCALPER) : Biggest Filipino in Mog, making shoenars role all but obselete. May or may not challenge Shoenar to a deathmatch. Part of rival organization, MORK. Must be crushed. Note: Last name is NOT Romano.
What did ever happen to MINDY?
Mog 33 (MAD DOG) : Barely knows he joined, was defeated as president of the gunclub in a horrible standoff, involving federal agents disguised as flower delivery men. May be in jail again. Macaroon?
Mog 34 (RUNNING MAN) : May be the fastest man in the school! Has younger brother at Shorewood.
Mog 35 (BLADE RUNNER) : May be the fastest man in the school! Has younger brother at Shorewood.
Mog 36 (TWITCHY) : Plans to take over the world, possibly using his PS2 and/ or his ground-breaking twitching power. Still have no clue who this is.
Mog 37 (HERBAL ESSENCES) : Likes carbonated drinks made with all natural ingredients. Wearer of the bluest coat ever made. Part of blind recruiting plans.
Mog 38 (SENOR MYSTERIOSO) : Came from an insanity ward, or a Steven King novel. Possibly both. Has seen Shrek more times than SHOENAR has said "BOO!" Dang it Shoenar, stop with the shoenaring.
Mog 39 (MOG 39) : With his joining, we now have four Andrews! Lifeguards many, though do they really need it? Chose his own nickname. Bikes greened lakes?
Mog 40 (PUFFY) : Named after sleeping device, as few can claim. As they say, "She makes speedy gonzales look like regular gonzales!" Primo of squeaks the mouse! MIGHTY MOUSE!!! Confusing? Yes.
Mog 41 (WHOPPER) : Recruited from Driver's efforts and our successful first print ad in a classroom. Wilson!!!!!!!!!! Quality artist. Created awesome turtle poster.
Mog 42 (CINDY TRAN) : Cindy + Tran = Stone Cold Steve Austin? Kidding I am? Kidding Am I? Kid you not! Who? AGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Mog 43 (NESS) : Defeater of the vile Starmen, Crazy Hippies, and Attacking Stop Signs. Known throughout land as younger and more hilarious version of Squeaks. Quick! Jeff use "Bottle Rocket", Paula use "Pray", Pu use "some garbage" and NESS use "PSI ******"!!! Do you want a fresh batch of "poo"?
Mog 44 (BRONALD GREAGAN) : SAAANNNNDDDWWWWIIICCCHHHHHH!!!! Running for ASB vice-president. Somalia? Mog-a-dish-you!
Mog 45 (ALOHADONUTSANDWEDGE) : Recruited by Mog 12. Name is a combo of pastry, Hawaii, and golf. Rama can probably be blamed for this one.
Mog 46 (SMYTH) : Related to Mog 12. Possibly the fastest competitor at the S game. Freak of gs?
Mog 47 (TECHNODROME) : Capable of wearing shorts in winter. But will this help in the fight against Shredder? Owns Blues Brothers, offically making him cool.
Mog 48 (GAMBLOR) : She's been possessed by a gambling demon! I call him Gamblor! Lives far far away, and needs to stay there. Still there.
By visiting this site, you agree to... not much. We really can't make you do anything, in theory. But wait and then, ah forget it.
The Time Car Episodes
For being among the first visitors, here is a rare and original first draft of Time Car: The Animated Series:
(Begin theme song. "Time Car! Fighting to defeat Time Car. Time Car! Time Car! Time Car! Da na na na na na! Time Car!)
Setting: The Warehouse district. Many a warehouse.
Time Car: It is our arch-nemesis, Time Car!
Tim Car: The Time Car!(Repeat theme song)
Time Car: I, Time Car, will destroy you Time Car!
Time Car: Not on my watch!
Tim Car: That's right Time Car!
Time Car: Go power hobos! Destroy the Time Car, Time Car, and Tim Car
(All hobos are immediately run over)
Time Car: So you have defeated the power hobos! Time Car will now go into SUPER Time Car mode
(Time Car makes strange noise)
Time Car: Where was the beef!
Time Car: Norwegish!
Tim Car: Now for the Time Car dancers!
Time Car: Time Car will show Time Car what the result of it Time Car was!
Time Car: Let us stop this fussing and a feuding and eat some Official Time Car cereal, topped with delightful Time Car milk and Time Car bananas!
Time Car: Is it piping hot?
(Begin musical number: Time Car)
(Scene moves to surface of moon. Give no explaination.)
Time Car: Now Time Car will destroy the moon Time Car!
Moon Time Car: Moon Time Car will bury you 30% Post-Consumers!
Time Car: Enough of this! Let us Kung Fu fight!
(fighting begins)
(strobe lights cut in, continue for five minutes. Repeat theme song.)
(Time Car is destroyed. Preview next weeks episode: The Timest Car that ever timed the timer timit!)
(Repeat theme song)
For more funny Time Car info, send mail here! I will try to make up some stuff and reply! Time Car!giantrobotfight2000@yahoo.com
And now, the TIME CAR SEQUEL!
One fine day, the land of Time Car, in the city of Time Car, the world's largest bee museum prepared for another painful day of horrible stings.
Meanwhile, in the offical Time Car Fortress™, Time Car was preparing for his hard day of berating Tim Car. He also knew of his obligation to the city to prevent all crime from occuring. He accomplished this by driving recklessly though the city, and by having Tim Car shoot out the window at lawbreakers and former lawbreakers and potential lawbreakers and ugly children.
And so our story begins...
Time Car: Tim Car, have you completed the death ray?
Tim Car: What are you talking about Time Car? The mayor, Timer Car, said to stop the killing while not aggghhhhhhhh....(sound of Tim Car deflating)
Time Car: Curses! Some negilegent person has slain Tim Car before I even got the chance! Remember kids, if you don't want to be killed like Tim Car, buy my cereal!
The Time Car: Bwahahahhahahahahhahhahahaaahahaahhahah!!!! I have successfully destroyed Tim Car! Now the air is slightly fresher! I am a car and should not be able to notice that! Why am I still speaking!
Time Car: You fool! You have destroyed valuable kidneys! Now the viewers must solve the mystery of who killed Tim Car!
Time Car: I just realized that we are written down, and the viewers have no way of communicating with us! Why do I know that! Think about the way that arms work!
(ten minute pause)
Time Car: That's all the time we have now! Buy our products or Time Car!
Due to demand that could exist... HERE IS ANOTHER FREAKING TIME CAR SCRIPT!!!
Focus: The city of Detroit. The land of cars. Where many a year ago, Time Car was built. Why was he built? Why can he travel through time? Why is Tim Car still alive despite being killed last episode? These questions will not be answered, as now we go to the mall of Time Car, where our hero is confronting his mortal nemesis, Lime Car!
Tim Car: Look Time Car, it is Lime Car! The Car that is made out of limes!
Time Car: He appears to be trying to increase the content of lime juice in the food court drinking fountain!
Tim Car: The DASTARD!!!
Lime Car: Get back Time Car! Or I will throw this lime at the official oversized novelty mall clock!
Time Car: Arr! Take him Tim Car!
Tim Car flees like a monkey without his microwave
Lime Car: Now to throw this lime...
When the lime hits the clock, time goes back to... The MIDDLE AGES!
Time Car: We are now in the Middle Ages! However, we were dumped into the middle of the rainforest! To help save the rain forest kids, buy more non-lime produce, and punish those who don't!
Lime Car: Ha ha, uh oh...
Lime Car is overpowered and devoured by 3,000,566 painful ants.
Time Car: And now to go to a 22 minute commercial...
NOW... the CRIME CAR!
(scene opens at the castle Time Car, where Time Car and Tim Car are closely examining a game of chess)
Tim Car: Your move!
Time Car: And I know just what to do! I will seal this window, so that those hooligans will stop using my decorative army men and conveniently placed checked patterned board!
(phone rings, Time Car answers)
Time Car: Time Car, home of Time Car... blast! You'll live to regret this! (hangs up phone)
Time Car: Blast it Tim Car!
Tim Car: What? Another confused census taker who refuses to believe we are eskimos?
Time Car: That's more of a weekend thing. This was the local constables wanting me to turn myself in.
Tim Car: How is that different from any other phone call we get?
Time Car: This time they were wanting me on charges that I didn't actually do!
Tim Car: Ahem!
Time Car: Sorry, that we didn't do! They say that the tire treads were in a way that the victims remains spelled out "Time Car", while I'm careful to always spell out "Tim Car"
Tim Car: Could you have done it during one of your thrice daily binges of which you never have any memory?
Time Car: Although that it likely true, let's just ignore the possiblity. Now go down to the police and turn yourself in.
(Phone rings)
Time Car: (answers phone), Eskimo! Oh... good for them... can you arrest Tim Car anyway... hello?
Tim Car: Was that the police comissioner confirming that the actual culprit was the Crime Car and that he has been safely captured?
Time Car: No, it... (long pause) Tim Car, go de-rat the Time Car sewer...
Tim Car: That just goes to show, never question authority kids!
Time Car: Right! Now let's go burn down city hall and establish ourselves as tyrant and Tim Car!
Next...maybe a sequel?
(scene opens, midnight in the city of Time Car. Sound of sirens approaching. Several shadowy figures seen walking, suspiciously of course, on a building. Did I mention that they were walking on the side of the building? Oh, they were. They were.)
Building Walker #1: These new building-walking-up-shoes-of-some-kind are working! Soon this city will learn that it is not safe to simply glue their money to the sides of buildings! Not when we can simply steal the building!
Building Walker #2: Ah this plan is so well thought out that it is impossible for us to fail. The oldest logic dictates that it is not ok with the laws of physics or Canada to pick up buildings from the bottom. And it would take a helicopter the size of an unusually freakish duck to lift it from the top. And trying to pick it up from the angles is just crazy. We must rely on these shoes made by our leader, the honorable judge Rhyme Car.
Building Walker #1: Hey, now I am moon-walking. (grabs moon from sky.)
Building Walker #2: How is that even possible, you lunar-tic!
Building Walker #1: Think about it. We could only fit two non-fat astronauts on the moon, and their moon buggying was cut short when they drove into the sun.
Building Walker #2: But what possible use could you have for the moon? The moon pies have already been invented, then eaten.
Building Walker #1: While that plum may have passed us by, with plum flavored moon pies, I can sell this moon to the government of Quebec, so they can finally make perfectly round coins to buy their way out of indentured servitude to their Yeti overlords.
Building Walker #2: The (voice fades out as he is run over by Time Car and Tim Car, driving vertically up the side of the building in question.)
Time Car: Got you now, you one term peanut farmer who thought he once saw a UFO! Now that we have defeated your precious presenter of the music videos, we're sending you to Nixon!
The Moon: Not before I do! Crescent form! (flies forward and punches out Time Car's tires!)
Time Car: Nooooooooooooo! I need those to be lovable!
What will happen to our beloved Time Car? How is Tim Car still there? Read all about it... in Time Car Next!
