To the Mosquito
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illiam Wordsworth in his poem ‘To the Skylark’ describes the bird as “Ethereal minstrel! pilgrim of the sky!” Before I saw the title I thought he was describing a mosquito. This was because ‘Ethereal minstrel’ in the language of we ordinary people, who are not as great as Wordsworth, means ‘lightweight popstar’. And popstar Lucky Ali going “Hmmm mmmmmmmmm’ in his ‘O sanam’ track sounds very much like one of the two or three mosquitoes humming around my head right now!
Man proudly calls himself the most successful creature on this planet after annihilating every other species, which seemed to pose some probable competition. We hunted down huge grizzly Mammoths to extinction and murdered savage Saber toothed Tigers until none was left. However, this ‘Ethereal minstrel’ still continues to hum around me making me join the party now and then by going “OUCH!”
Our combat against this competitor to our successful existence, has a long and eventful history. It is, in fact, a great man, who had said, “A war is not won by the side which is right but the side which is left!” In the beginning burning anything from camphor to cow dung that produced a lot of smoke was enough to drive mosquitoes away. But gradually, as Mosquitoes began overcoming these, our scientist and chemist decided that it was time for them to take charge. They proudly presented against the mosquito-kind the chemical D.D.T. But after a few years it was found to do more harm to people than to mosquitoes. Without giving up, they continued inventing newer products and through coils and mats they how now reached liquid dispensers- mosquitoes prevail-they are left. But how?
The most probable and convincing explanation to this question goes like this- Just like us humans these insect too have top secret laboratories where mosquitoes with highest IQs, work wearing lab coats preparing in their test-tubes some latest anti-repellants like Bad-Knight, All in and Nodomas. From the way this little Mosquito here is staring at me it seems to say, “So you think only you got brains, ha?”
Then, haven’t we yet found a permanent end to this menace that has been bothering us since our very origin? Again as William Wordsworth once said “NO!”
The most successful weapon we have today for our war against mosquitoes is-pat-a hardbound book. Something like this Concise Oxford Dictionary, which I have in my hand, now will be-swoosh-ideal. There is a huge statue in New York harbour that demonstrates how you can use this technique when the mosquito is sitting on your own-pat-belly. Though it requires tremendous experience and talent to use this tool effectively, which only a few people like-pat-myself have, it is our best option. With practice everyone can become-swoosh-great! And you have nothing to worry as I am here to-pat-teach you. Just hold the book slightly over your head- oh how I wish you could see me, the professional do it. Aim at one mosquito (you shouldn’t see anything else even if there are seven other mosquitoes around you trying to disturb your concentration) give a complete smooth curved swing with your arm-swoooooosh-and
hit the Bamm Klaaaaashshsh! OH MY GOD NO! I BROKE THE FLOWER VASE!
Excuse me, that was just supposed to be a ‘pat’ but I seem to be a bit-pat-out of form, just as Saurav Ganguly so often seems to be.
I have a friend-pat-who says he is so used to these mosquito bites that he cannot concentrate in his studies without them! I get bitten by mosquitoes too, but how one can get so-swoosh-used to them is beyond my Danggg Dammaaashshsh FIRST THE VASE-NOW THE TABLE LAMP- DAD’S GONNA KILL ME!
All right! Enough of swooshes and
pats! If we human beings have to put a permanent end to this issue, there is
one thing we should all do- unite. If not to Heal the World, if not to save the
Green forests, if not to prevent a Nuclear war or if not to make rivers flow in
this direction, we have to unite for the common cause of destroying mosquitoes.
After all one thing that all of us humans- who live in any place, who lived at
any time- have in common is that we all have been bitten by mosquitoes. I have
been bitten so have you, Indians have been bitten and so have the Pakistanis,
the U.S. has been bitten and so has been the Taliban; Lucky Ali has been bitten
and so has William Wordsworth. Therefore I would like to end by quoting what
this great poet said when he was once bitten by a mosquito- “OUCH!”
