Questions People Ask!
Living
in this world, it seems impossible to avoid certain senseless, dim-witted,
agitating and in short ‘stupid’ questions. I don’t know whether asking them is
a norm in the society, but they come from everywhere.
I
still remember the day when I shaved for the first time. Almost everyone who
saw me that day asked, “Hey, did you shave today?” On several occasions I
couldn’t resist the temptation of answering, “No, actually my beard fell off.
If you find it anywhere do return it to me so I can put it back where it
belongs.”
After
I got into my school bus to attend my first day in this school, in 11th
standard, wearing colour dress, feeling odd and nervous, somebody in the bus
asked “Are you new?” As I was a bit tense I let go without replying, “I’ve been
boarding this bus everyday for the past fifteen years. How come you haven’t
seen me?”
Other
than during such instances, there are people who ask stupid questions as a
habit. One such is the question string ‘really?’
“The
Dosas here taste great.”
“Really?”
“You
better wash your hands after you finish off with this.”
“Really?”
“Tomorrow,
the sun is going to rise in the east.”
“Really?”
I
have a friend who always answers to this question saying, “No, duplicately.”
There
is this practice from Britain of greeting someone by asking, ”How do you do?” I
am definitely not saying that this is a stupid question. But the strange part
is that you are not allowed to respond by informing about your state of
affairs. Instead your reply is supposed to be the same question, “How do you
do?” This time it is a really stupid one. Following the same rule the reply to
this also must be the same question. Thus we have two gentlemen who have had a
cordial conversation for quite a while where each has asked the other several
times how he is doing but none has any clue whatsoever, on the actual fact of
the matter. The Kenyans have resolved this issue in an ingenious manner. In
Kenya you don’t ask “how do you do?” Instead you greet by asking, “How do your
cattle do?”
I
tell you, people are manageable, but the situation can get worse. If you ever
watch TV the question “Who wants to be a millionaire?” must be familiar. This
question would have made a lot of sense if there were a considerable number of
talented and hardworking youngsters who dreamed of becoming beggars and tramps.
The Indian version “Kaun Banega Crorepati?” luckily means, “Who will
become a millionaire?” and makes more sense. However it too is not free of
trouble. I don’t understand why Mr. AB asks so many questions- “sure?”,
“confident?”, “pakka?”, “Yakeen hai apko?” and so on when all these words mean the same in the given
context. I will not give you examples of all the stupid questions that carry
with them huge sums of money as prize, because once I start with them I can go
on forever.
Cyrus
‘Bakra’ Broacha demonstrates, how it is possible to earn a comfortable
living by asking stupid questions. First there was this ad in which he shows
how he spent a lifetime asking “Mera number kab ayega?”(Never mind 1 or
2!). Now after getting fame and recognition, he attacks our innocent
celebrities with the dumbest questions before snarling “Hai koi jawaab?”
To
bring solace to your soul from this never ending assault of stupid questions
you decide to switch on to some pleasant music. Again you have no choice but to
confront most perplexing questions ranging from “Radha kaise na jale?” to
“Who let the dogs out?”
Contests offer fabulous prizes such as TVs, Cars and return tickets to where not, for answering questions like “Which singers’ name also means ‘a public department’?” and “Whom would you call if you found Laloo Yadav in your bathroom?”
There was a big billboard in city-center Cochin going, “Why does the road turn right and not wrong?” The advertisement of Microsoft asks me in bold letters the question “Where do you want to go today?” Now why would a company that sells software want to know that unless Bill Gates is willing to arrange a private helicopter for the purpose?
(P.T.O.)
Of
all people the award for asking the greatest number of stupid questions goes to
reporters. Hostages just after being freed from a hijacked plane had to face
questions like “Were you frightened when they threatened to kill you?” and “Are
you relieved that you have escaped alive out of this?” In fact one of the
hostages later said that he felt more comfortable with the terrorist hijackers
than with the media personnel. Amitabh Bachchan was asked if he ‘felt happy’
after he was elected the superstar of the millennium through a worldwide poll.
A reporter, not long back, asked Sachin Tendulkar “Do you plan to make more
runs in the future?”
Why
do so many people, ask so many questions, so many times, in so many different
ways, when the answer to them is either obviously known or obviously unknown?
Are questions meant for increasing one’s knowledge or to embarrass and confuse
others? Why should anyone ask a question at all in the first place? One or two
are okay, but how many times have we seen paragraphs full of never-ending
questions none having a reasonable answer? And before that, do we know what the
word ‘question’ actually means?
Er…mm… excuse me!
