The Enigma of the Poor Joke
Definitions
1.Poor Joke · abbr. PJ [locally called valippu] n. Any seemingly humorous statement, question or verse, which on completion actually evokes utter disgust and irritation to the listener and in several cases, leads to a state of temporary insanity.
2.Poor Joke Cracker · abbr. PJC [locally called valippan]
n. A person who deliberately and habitually indulges in the practice of
‘cracking’ PJs.
3.Oooooooooaaaaaaaarrrrgggh · int. [similar in most languages] An
expression used by the victims subjected to PJs to let out the extreme emotions
generated in them.
The above lines may seem strange for a newspaper article, especially at the beginning. But I had to use them since, this issue is misunderstood or unknown to many. Also these words can’t even be found in the dictionary! Poor jokes are not simply unsuccessful versions of good jokes- but they are something of their own. The most popular and classical example for this is the question, ‘Why did the Chicken cross the road?’ The correct answer to this riddle is, ‘to get to the other side.’ Now, if you observe carefully, you will notice one thing- the answer is not at all funny! It was not even meant to be funny, but to produce a new effect altogether. It is something you, or for that matter everybody else, knew and so didn’t expect to be the answer. It is disgusting and humiliating. As a result you are left trying frantically, to pluck out all the hair from your head, while uttering definition 3.
By now, if you are thinking that Poor Jokes should be declared as social evils and ‘cracking’ any of them should be made a criminal offense by an act in the Parliament, or that there should be an eleventh commandment saying ‘Thou shall not PJ’, you are wrong. It might be shocking, but the fact is that a vast number of people enjoy these PJs and it is extremely popular among the new generation. You might want to ask, ‘But all along you were saying PJs are so bad and mean and ugly- then how can they be so popular?’ Well, that exactly my friend, is the great Enigma of the Poor Joke.
Poor Jokes are the main ingredients of any good conversation among today’s youth. No ‘cool’ gang is complete without its own panel of expert PJCs. These PJCs can use PJs for a wide range of purposes ranging from pacifying a terrifying teacher to wooing the womenfolk. Why, even teachers who are good PJCs are greatly adored and respected and students are found to score higher grades in their subjects. Moreover there have been incidents where PJs have helped to score marks in examinations! Can’t believe? Consider this example. One of the essay questions in an English exam read, “What happened on 6th August 1945, when an American aeroplane dropped an Atom Bomb over the Japanese city of Hiroshima?” A student who had skipped the relevant lesson ‘Hiroshima’ during his preparations simply answered, “The Bomb busted”. Though this answer gave a bust of shock to the teacher herself the student had to be awarded one mark, as the answer was correct from its own standpoint.
This very newspaper ran a column named PJs unlimited. Though that column is now stopped PJs continue to appear under different titles- turn the pages and I am sure you will find some good ones! The best one I can think of goes-
“Knock, knock”
“Who is this?”
“Opportunity”
“It can’t be!”
“Why?”
“Opportunity knocks but once!”
On an especially dry day a friend of mine came with a bright and blooming face and asked- “Wanna hear couple of PJs?”
“Sure” I replied
“PJs, PJs.”
Some PJ crackers have used their talent well enough to even become famous celebrities like actors, authors, the great VJs and even newsreaders! The most unbearable among these is cricket commentator Navjot Singh Siddhu. In a recent match against Sri Lanka, he told his bald colleague Sir Geoffrey Boycott who is another great valippan, “A hair on your head is worth two in the bush!” This is all he does. He talks little about cricket and goes on cracking PJs on cakes and plums and cherries and ducks and chicks and eggs and airhostesses and wines and turbans and beards and wives of other commentators.
Amidst this rapidly increasing trend of cracking and suffering PJs one continues to wonder why the whole thing is happening. Maybe because only a few gifted people can crack really good jokes whereas anyone with a little practice can become a great valippan. Maybe because we all have some animal instinct, which derives pleasure from others' suffering and hearing PJs makes us feel good despite the initial qualms as we can use them on others. Or maybe because just like we don’t like too much irritation, too much peace makes us uncomfortable and when something stirs us up we feel good. However all these are mere speculations, none of which provide the complete explanation. The Enigma of the Poor Joke, remains, by and large, unanswered.
