GirlFriend

By: Ernest Hemmingway (JK !!) - I'm a dork :)
Subject: Girlfriend Bashing
Date: Sun May 30 16:29:47 1999

    Hey guys! I happened to be surfing around the internet and I came to this page from a link on another freind's page.
    I can't say that I know too much about the Backstreet boys on a personal level but I do like their music very much, it's alot of fun. They are loaded with talent. Anyway, that's not my point.
    I was srolling through the posts and I noticed alot of concern over some of the boy's girlfreinds. I thought maybe I could clear a few things up. Then again, maybe not but it's worth a shot.
    I am currently dating someone who is in a very successful band. Because I don't want to exploit myself or my relationship I'm not going to name the band or the person I am involved with although I understand that by doing this some of you may not believe me, but that's ok.
    It's just that I don't feel that people should take my opinion for more than it's worth just because of the relationship that I'm in. I'm no smarter or better than anyone else, I just happen to have first hand knowledge of what it's like to be involved with someone who is heavily in the public eye. I hope you understand.
    Anyway, I know that some of you are concerned about the way fans treat the girlfreind(s) of the band members. Speaking from experience, it's really really tough at first to be in those shoes. When people are yelling names at you and telling you that you don't deserve to be with the person, you tend to feel really embarrassed.
    You almost feel like in high school when someone makes fun of you, you just want to run home and hide. You wonder what you got yourself into. You think: "hey, I don't know any of these people, how come they hate me?" However, you do get used to it (sad isn't it) and you learn to deal with it. It almost becomes routine.
    You begin to learn that you are in an enviable position and many of the people who say they don't like you probably do so because they would give anything to be where you are (although that sounds arrogant I don't mean it that way), so you learn that from that people will analyze everything about you, from your hair color to the car you drive and they will tend to find a million things wrong with you because no one is perfect and I know I'm far from it.
   Basically, it just comes with the package and you learn to deal. If you are an honest and supportive realationship that becomes all that matters. All the things that people yell and say about you in the papers and even on the internet no longer matter because you know that the person you're with supports and cares for you.
    I can't say that it still doesn't sting once in a while but sooner or later the opinions of others tend to lose their meaning a bit, you just know that you're going to run into hurtful things. In the end, I think it tends to make you a stronger person and you're relationship that much stronger as well. If a relationship is strong it will endure through all. And to be honest with you, contact with fans is very minimal regardless of how it appears.
    The only time you see the band on TV is when they are surrounded by a ton of people. But, there is alot of downtime. Especially with a band such as the Backstreet Boys. They are very protected and kept as isolated as possible. Sure they have their meet and greets and run ins with the fans, but remember that these are usually planned and orchestrated, so the guys know to put their guard up a little bit, as do their girlfriends. As far as things written, you tend avoid mediums where this stuff is present.
    All that I have heard around the industry is that the Backstreet Boys are very decent hardworking and humble guys. This will translate to their girlfriends and if the realationship is meant to last it will. I'm sure their girlfreinds are well equipted to handle it as it's part of the life. Remember, aside from the occasional backlash from fans, there are a ton, and I mean, a ton of perks to being a part of the rock and roll lifestyle.
    These girls have it alright and if the boys really respect and care for them, they'll be o.k. Any relationship will have its ups and downs, regardless of the jobs the people hold. It just so happens that the backstreet boys have the best job in the world.
    However, as no job is perfect, there will always be hard times, but that makes it all the more sweeter when things go well. Just remember, the girls wouldn't be there if they didn't want to. While it is hard sometimes, the good usually outweighs the bad, and when and if it no longer does, the relationship will no longer exists. And know also, that just because these girls happen to date members of the backstreet boys, they are under no obligation to be nice to fans.
    They have bad days just like anyone else. You never know what may have happened behind the scenes. Maybe they miss their family, or maybe they just got some bad news. You never know what is going on with someone until you walk in their shoes. On the same token, you are under no obligation to be nice to the girls. However, I think you'd feel better about yourself if you did.
    If they are ever mean to you just think to yourself "I'm going to be the bigger person and be nice even though she's not." You'll be a better person for it and that'll show.
    If you ever get the chance to know someone in a sucessful band, you will come to realize that they are honestly normal people just like you and I. They brush their teeth, go to the bathroom, even just veg out on the couch just like we do.
    I have had the pleaasure of meeting the boys briefly at an awards show and I can honestly say that I was very impressed by every single one of them and they have a wonderful reputation in the industry.
    They are good guys and they are good to the people around them. With their support, their girlfriends will understand that if they are loved by them, it doesn't matter when anyone says. It's all about the love between two people.
   I hope this helped some. Take care.