The Story of Julia: Revised June 2000

by Gillie
copyright Gillian Durham 2000
(updated 11/25/00 - look  below for blue stars)

Leaving late at night...


Her sister never cared where she was or what she was doing. That's what Julia was thinking in the back of her mind whenever she went out at night like this. She stepped out into the moonlit back garden and pressed one hand against the stone wall as she struggled to get the back door closed. She was struggling against the door's age and it's state of disrepair. The house was hundreds of years old. Julia was only seventeen, but the door was no match for her and closed against it's will .

She stepped through the pearly, moist grass. The blue-white light put a glowing edge on everything and this was how she navigated. She went from the glowing edge of the grass to the glowing edge of the shrubs to the glowing edge of the trees at the edge of the woods that began a hundred yards from her back door.


The old dress...

Her dress was given to her when she was little. It didn't fit her then, but she was supposed to save it for when she grew up and got married. The planned perfectness of her life had since faded and she wore it whenever she went on her moonlit excursions. The old dress had little plastic pearls on it, and the paint was coming off them, leaving just the milky plastic ball. The sleeves were made of alternating strips of white ribbon and white lace which had begun to separate, showing the skin of her arms underneath. The dress went down past her knees and flared just at the bottom around her calves, where the edges were worn and dirty. Despite it's condition, Julia thought it was the most beautiful dress in the world, and she felt like a princess when she wore it Her parents never would have let her wear it, but they were dead. Julia made her own decisions now.


The Circle....

She walked with purpose and energy toward the clearing at the edge of the forest.. Part of her had always wanted to lie down in the grass and brush the midnight dew into her arms, but as a child she had been too afraid and as a young woman she was more compelled by other activities. Her childish fantasy unfulfilled, she stopped in the middle of the clearing. She held a stick of wood that she had carved and painted. Each marking was something meaningful to her. Some were symbols that others might recognize: a tree, a five-pointed star, the phases of the moon; others were symbols that had special significance only to her. She had worked out a symbol that represented her magical name and that was carved there as well.. She invisioned the wand's aura extending out from it, especially at the tip with which she created a circle of light and energy, like a laser. She walked clockwise three times around the clearing. After the circle was established, she used her mind to project white light out from the wand and to make the circle geometrically perfect.. She said the words: that it was perfect..

The white/grey light from the moon reflected in her eyes and she said, "I cast this circle to protect me from all negative energies & forces on any level that may come to do me harm.. I draw into this circle only the energies & forces that are right for me & the most correct for my work.. I create a sacred space.. So mote it be.." The moonlight trickled down her back and the breeze curled under her dress and suddenly, she was with them all.. The trees, the grass, the moon, the air, the hidden animals. Their energy wafted through her like she was a current of air in a mild storm., not disrupted by the surges, but moved and inspired.

Usually, the person who casted a circle wanted something, had a plan of some sort, or a wish.. Once she got there Julia didn't know what to ask for, because what she wanted most was just to be there. The energy of nature and the timelessness of "being" wafted through her. That was what she wanted.


The Dance...

She looked up at the clear sky and a rhythm began to beat in her head. She gave a knowing smile to the Goddess in her aspect of the Moon and began to dance. Her dance encompassed all, but assumed nothing. Her arms flew, her legs pounded the ground and the heat from her body met the chill of the night, keeping her very warm. It was a personal experience of joy and communion of body, mind and spirit. She was not dancing alone, she was dancing with everything that exists.

Julia did not know how long she stayed meditating in the circle and didn't care. At some point in the night she felt cold and made her way back to her room, falling asleep in her dew-soaked dress.

There was no-one in the house who cared what she was doing. Her sister wasn't home, but Julia didn't know where she was. Julia slept with a damp coziness that came from being spiritually content.. She woke up naturally the next morning, with just enough time to change her clothes and walk to school.. No-one ever woke her up. She got herself to school always.


Days...

It was really hard to try and learn anything with all those ridiculous people around, Julia thought as she walked home from school. They were constantly reacting to her in some way. Jo Morrison hated her and missed no opportunity to show it, Henna Parrish asked Julia's advice on everything, andBen Blackhawk sort of followed Julia around and managed to sit next to her whenever possible, but never said anything to her. It was very distracting.

She seemed to bring things out in people. Someone had bumped into Julia accidentally today and It knocked one of her books to the floor. When she stopped to pick it up, the girl who ran into her was standing there staring at her, like she was in shock.. Julia got those strange looks everywhere and she always wanted to ask, "What?" What was it that was so unusual about her? She would look in the mirror to see if she had something on her face or if her hair was sticking up, but there was never anything like that.

The thought that kept coming back to Julia was something her grandmother had told her when Julia was very young. Her grandmother said she had inherited something. It wasn't something you could see or touch, it was a power.

Her grandmother had always come across as beautiful and content.. It was the kind of beauty that came from being in tune with the essence of things. She knew all about nature and would frequently mention how wonderful the weather was - no matter what it was like that day.. If a storm was coming in, but not too quicly, she would very excitedly take Julia out on a little exploring hike on the land around their house. She wouldn't really say what was so important about going out at that particular moment, she would just say in a conspiratorial voice, "Come on," and grab Julia's hand as they hurried out the door.

Just beyond the cleared space that defined their back garden, the woods began. After walking in the woods for a few minutes, they would come to a stream that pooled into a pond at one spot . There were small, grassy clearings with flowers growing in them here and there and every once in a while they would pass a thick climbing tree. When Julia was smaller, she spent a great deal of time climbing those trees. Her grandmother would be close by telling Julia stories and pointing out different plants and flowers. Sometimes her grandmother would grow quiet and contemplative, and this always seemed mysterious to Julia. One time Julia asked what the "power" was that she had inherited. Her grandmother said, "the power to make things happen."

The walk home from school took Julia down a long lane lined on one side by a wood and on the other side by houses with big, tree-filled yards. As she walked by the mailbox of one house, their dog began to bark violently at her. He did this every time and never seemed to get used to the fact that she passed his house twice a day. Julia had no pets, her sister wouldn't allow it. But some of the neighborhood animals took to her strongly and would sit with her when she was outside. She never had to encourage them, it was as if they were drawn to her. Things were either drawn to her like a magnet, or repulsed by her. It was always that way.

*************************************************New 11/25/00

“...O Great Goddess and God, all nature vibrates with your energies and the Earth is bathed with warmth and life. Now is the time of forgetting past cares and banes; Now is the time for purification,” Julia said, while holding a pouch full of herbs over a red candle. It was one of four candles: red, white, brown, and blue which were positioned in the four directions symbolizing the four elements. The pouch began to burn and Julia tossed it into a small pot she had placed in the center of the candles.

A memory was passing through her mind. A moving picture of a little girl laughing as she was chased around a cozy room in the winter. White, snowy light came in the windows, reflecting in delighted, playful eyes. A fireplace warmed the girl and her mother...

“...on this night of Midsummer magic I pray that you charge my life with wonder and joy...”

The blissful laughter echoed in her mind.

“...I give thanks.”

For some reason, summer had always felt melancholy to Julia. The pouch of worries and pain that she was burning felt full and heavy. The happy memories that crept up in her mind were invariably of fall or winter, in the house that she grew up in, with a roaring fire day and night, and laughter.

On this midsummer night, she burned away her troubles and focused on the thin separation between worlds that existed on nights such as these. She was out in the circular garden kneeling in the dewy grass. The moon was nearly full, but veiled by shimmery wraiths of clouds that drifted over it in a lazy, windless sky. Her skin was dewy as well. She’d been out in the garden for a couple of hours now, doing her ritual and waiting to see if any magical being might decide to join her in celebrating the turn of the seasons.

There were plenty of midnight nature noises surrounding her: crickets, frogs, and unidentified peepings and rustlings. She felt confident something would happen, the air was so full of magic. She closed the circle and decided to take a walk just to experience the night.

Her family’s property extended for about 2 acres around the house. She usually stayed on their land, but the night was so peaceful, with no hint of human activity, and she began to explore some areas she hadn’t seen since her grandmother took her out gathering flowers and herbs years before. She came upon something she recognized on the ground and reached down, brushing away the moist grass and leaves. It was a toadstool ring. A flicker from the edge of her vision made her look up suddenly. She opened her eyes wide and glanced around, but saw only moonlight reflected in the dew and shadows made by the trees. Then a flicker seemed to come from just beyond her range of sight on the other side. She decided to follow it.

This led her off the path. As she walked, her shoulders would sometimes be bathed in moonlight, other times in dappled shadow. After a few minutes some whispy clouds drifted across the moon, and she passed through a small clearing which was lit with its very gentle light. Then there was the tiniest of rustlings. Julia knew she was in no danger. Another “gift” that Julia had was that she knew whether something was good or malevolent. Her sense told her that something good and magical lay ahead of her.

She followed another flicker and another rustle. They eventually lead her up the side of a forrested and rocky hill. It was fairly steep and she had to grab onto some trees and rocks in order to climb it. By this time she had dew, leaves and blades of grass on her hands and legs and her dress was getting a little grubby. She didn’t notice this, however, being completley entranced by the mystical journey. The trees grew even thicker here, blocking out the moonlight. For a few seconds, Julia couldn’t see. She stood still for a moment trying to get her bearings. Then something touched her and she whirled around. Her eyes began to adjust to the minimal light and she saw nothing moving. A little circular breeze suddenly picked up right around her. She was suddenly terrified to feel what seemed like little hands, fluttering lightly all over her like flower petals might have felt if they were caught up in that circular wind. She heard what sounded like a very far away giggle, and the little hands were gone.

Although the experience had seriously startled her, she knew deep down that there was no threat. All seemed to be quiet. She waited for a few moments and then decided to walk on a little ways. The ground sloped down again and as she came to a flat area she looked behind her and discovered that there was a cave there. Julia had never seen or heard of a cave near her house. Then it occurred to her that she didn’t really know which direction she had gone or how far she had actually come.

The panic of thinking that she might be lost prompted her to abandon her magical search and find her way home. She tried to retrace her steps, but things didn’t seem to be in the same place as when she began her journey. Fortunately, she stumbled on the right path. She got home not really knowing where she’d been.




More to come...
If you'd like to be notified by e-mail when this is updated, please click here and put "Julia" in the subject line & "updates" in the content..

This material is copyrighted, so if you would like to quote it, please e-mail me and tell me what you'd like to use it for - gilliedu@aol.com



Background generously provided by