The Story of Julia: Revised June 2000
by Gillie
copyright Gillian Durham
2000
(updated 11/25/00 - look below for blue
stars)
Leaving late at night...
Her sister never cared where she was or what she was doing. That's what Julia
was thinking in the back of her mind whenever she went out at night like
this. She stepped out into the moonlit back garden and pressed one hand against
the stone wall as she struggled to get the back door closed. She was struggling
against the door's age and it's state of disrepair. The house was hundreds
of years old. Julia was only seventeen, but the door was no match for her
and closed against it's will .
She stepped through the pearly, moist grass. The blue-white light put a glowing
edge on everything and this was how she navigated. She went from the glowing
edge of the grass to the glowing edge of the shrubs to the glowing edge of
the trees at the edge of the woods that began a hundred yards from her back
door.
The old dress...
Her dress was given to her when she was little. It didn't fit her then, but
she was supposed to save it for when she grew up and got married. The planned
perfectness of her life had since faded and she wore it whenever she went
on her moonlit excursions. The old dress had little plastic pearls on it,
and the paint was coming off them, leaving just the milky plastic ball. The
sleeves were made of alternating strips of white ribbon and white lace which
had begun to separate, showing the skin of her arms underneath. The dress
went down past her knees and flared just at the bottom around her calves,
where the edges were worn and dirty. Despite it's condition, Julia thought
it was the most beautiful dress in the world, and she felt like a princess
when she wore it Her parents never would have let her wear it, but they were
dead. Julia made her own decisions now.
The Circle....
She walked with purpose and energy toward the clearing at the edge of the
forest.. Part of her had always wanted to lie down in the grass and brush
the midnight dew into her arms, but as a child she had been too afraid and
as a young woman she was more compelled by other activities. Her childish
fantasy unfulfilled, she stopped in the middle of the clearing. She held
a stick of wood that she had carved and painted. Each marking was something
meaningful to her. Some were symbols that others might recognize: a tree,
a five-pointed star, the phases of the moon; others were symbols that had
special significance only to her. She had worked out a symbol that represented
her magical name and that was carved there as well.. She invisioned the wand's
aura extending out from it, especially at the tip with which she created
a circle of light and energy, like a laser. She walked clockwise three times
around the clearing. After the circle was established, she used her mind
to project white light out from the wand and to make the circle geometrically
perfect.. She said the words: that it was perfect..
The white/grey light from the moon reflected in her eyes and she said, "I
cast this circle to protect me from all negative energies & forces on
any level that may come to do me harm.. I draw into this circle only the
energies & forces that are right for me & the most correct for my
work.. I create a sacred space.. So mote it be.." The moonlight trickled
down her back and the breeze curled under her dress and suddenly, she was
with them all.. The trees, the grass, the moon, the air, the hidden animals.
Their energy wafted through her like she was a current of air in a mild storm.,
not disrupted by the surges, but moved and inspired.
Usually, the person who casted a circle wanted something, had a plan of some
sort, or a wish.. Once she got there Julia didn't know what to ask for, because
what she wanted most was just to be there. The energy of nature and the
timelessness of "being" wafted through her. That was what she wanted.
The Dance...
She looked up at the clear sky and a rhythm began to beat in her head. She
gave a knowing smile to the Goddess in her aspect of the Moon and began to
dance. Her dance encompassed all, but assumed nothing. Her arms flew, her
legs pounded the ground and the heat from her body met the chill of the night,
keeping her very warm. It was a personal experience of joy and communion
of body, mind and spirit. She was not dancing alone, she was dancing with
everything that exists.
Julia did not know how long she stayed meditating in the circle and didn't
care. At some point in the night she felt cold and made her way back to her
room, falling asleep in her dew-soaked dress.
There was no-one in the house who cared what she was doing. Her sister wasn't
home, but Julia didn't know where she was. Julia slept with a damp coziness
that came from being spiritually content.. She woke up naturally the next
morning, with just enough time to change her clothes and walk to school..
No-one ever woke her up. She got herself to school always.
Days...
It was really hard to try and learn anything with all those ridiculous people
around, Julia thought as she walked home from school. They were constantly
reacting to her in some way. Jo Morrison hated her and missed no opportunity
to show it, Henna Parrish asked Julia's advice on everything, andBen Blackhawk
sort of followed Julia around and managed to sit next to her whenever possible,
but never said anything to her. It was very distracting.
She seemed to bring things out in people. Someone had bumped into Julia
accidentally today and It knocked one of her books to the floor. When she
stopped to pick it up, the girl who ran into her was standing there staring
at her, like she was in shock.. Julia got those strange looks everywhere
and she always wanted to ask, "What?" What was it that was so unusual about
her? She would look in the mirror to see if she had something on her face
or if her hair was sticking up, but there was never anything like that.
The thought that kept coming back to Julia was something her grandmother
had told her when Julia was very young. Her grandmother said she had inherited
something. It wasn't something you could see or touch, it was a power.
Her grandmother had always come across as beautiful and content.. It was
the kind of beauty that came from being in tune with the essence of things.
She knew all about nature and would frequently mention how wonderful the
weather was - no matter what it was like that day.. If a storm was coming
in, but not too quicly, she would very excitedly take Julia out on a little
exploring hike on the land around their house. She wouldn't really say what
was so important about going out at that particular moment, she would just
say in a conspiratorial voice, "Come on," and grab Julia's hand as they hurried
out the door.
Just beyond the cleared space that defined their back garden, the woods began.
After walking in the woods for a few minutes, they would come to a stream
that pooled into a pond at one spot . There were small, grassy clearings
with flowers growing in them here and there and every once in a while they
would pass a thick climbing tree. When Julia was smaller, she spent a great
deal of time climbing those trees. Her grandmother would be close by telling
Julia stories and pointing out different plants and flowers. Sometimes her
grandmother would grow quiet and contemplative, and this always seemed mysterious
to Julia. One time Julia asked what the "power" was that she had inherited.
Her grandmother said, "the power to make things happen."
The walk home from school took Julia down a long lane lined on one side by
a wood and on the other side by houses with big, tree-filled yards. As she
walked by the mailbox of one house, their dog began to bark violently at
her. He did this every time and never seemed to get used to the fact that
she passed his house twice a day. Julia had no pets, her sister wouldn't
allow it. But some of the neighborhood animals took to her strongly and would
sit with her when she was outside. She never had to encourage them, it was
as if they were drawn to her. Things were either drawn to her like a magnet,
or repulsed by her. It was always that way.
*************************************************New 11/25/00
“...O Great Goddess and God,
all nature vibrates with your energies and the Earth is bathed with warmth
and life. Now is the time of forgetting past cares and banes; Now is the
time for purification,” Julia said, while holding a pouch full of herbs
over a red candle. It was one of four candles: red, white, brown, and blue
which were positioned in the four directions symbolizing the four elements.
The pouch began to burn and Julia tossed it into a small pot she had placed
in the center of the candles.
A memory was passing through her mind. A moving picture of a little girl
laughing as she was chased around a cozy room in the winter. White, snowy
light came in the windows, reflecting in delighted, playful eyes. A fireplace
warmed the girl and her mother...
“...on this night of Midsummer magic I pray that you charge my life
with wonder and joy...”
The blissful laughter echoed in her mind.
“...I give thanks.”
For some reason, summer had always
felt melancholy to Julia. The pouch of worries and pain that she was burning
felt full and heavy. The happy memories that crept up in her mind were invariably
of fall or winter, in the house that she grew up in, with a roaring fire
day and night, and laughter.
On this midsummer night, she burned away her troubles and focused on the
thin separation between worlds that existed on nights such as these. She
was out in the circular garden kneeling in the dewy grass. The moon was nearly
full, but veiled by shimmery wraiths of clouds that drifted over it in a
lazy, windless sky. Her skin was dewy as well. She’d been out in the
garden for a couple of hours now, doing her ritual and waiting to see if
any magical being might decide to join her in celebrating the turn of the
seasons.
There were plenty of midnight nature noises surrounding her: crickets, frogs,
and unidentified peepings and rustlings. She felt confident something would
happen, the air was so full of magic. She closed the circle and decided to take a walk just to
experience the night.
Her family’s property extended for about 2 acres around the house. She
usually stayed on their land, but the night was so peaceful, with no hint
of human activity, and she began to explore some areas she hadn’t seen
since her grandmother took her out gathering flowers and herbs years before.
She came upon something she recognized on the ground and reached down, brushing
away the moist grass and leaves. It was a toadstool ring. A flicker from
the edge of her vision made her look up suddenly. She opened her eyes wide
and glanced around, but saw only moonlight reflected in the dew and shadows
made by the trees. Then a flicker seemed to come from just beyond her range
of sight on the other side. She decided to follow it.
This led her off the path. As she walked, her shoulders would sometimes
be bathed in moonlight, other times in dappled shadow. After a few minutes
some whispy clouds drifted across the moon, and she passed through a small
clearing which was lit with its very gentle light. Then there was the tiniest
of rustlings. Julia knew she was in no danger. Another “gift” that
Julia had was that she knew whether something was good or malevolent. Her
sense told her that something good and magical lay ahead of her.
She followed another flicker and another rustle. They eventually lead her
up the side of a forrested and rocky hill. It was fairly steep and she had
to grab onto some trees and rocks in order to climb it. By this time she
had dew, leaves and blades of grass on her hands and legs and her dress was
getting a little grubby. She didn’t notice this, however, being completley
entranced by the mystical journey. The trees grew even thicker here, blocking
out the moonlight. For a few seconds, Julia couldn’t see. She stood
still for a moment trying to get her bearings. Then something touched her
and she whirled around. Her eyes began to adjust to the minimal light and
she saw nothing moving. A little circular breeze suddenly picked up right
around her. She was suddenly terrified to feel what seemed like little hands,
fluttering lightly all over her like flower petals might have felt if they
were caught up in that circular wind. She heard what sounded like a very
far away giggle, and the little hands were gone.
Although the experience had seriously startled her, she knew deep down that
there was no threat. All seemed to be quiet. She waited for a few moments
and then decided to walk on a little ways. The ground sloped down again and
as she came to a flat area she looked behind her and discovered that there
was a cave there. Julia had never seen or heard of a cave near her house.
Then it occurred to her that she didn’t really know which direction
she had gone or how far she had actually come.
The panic of thinking that she might be lost prompted her to abandon her
magical search and find her way home. She tried to retrace her steps, but
things didn’t seem to be in the same place as when she began her journey. Fortunately, she stumbled on the right path. She got home not really
knowing where she’d been.