Rory: "You're happy."
Lorelai: "Yeah."
Rory: "Did you do something slutty?"
Lorelai: "I'm not that happy."
Rory's Birthday Parties
Lorelai: Rory's birthday party is this Saturday night, so start thinking up reasons why you can't come.
Michel: I'm going to be out of town.
Lorelai: You used that one last year.
Michel: I will work on it and get back to you.
Lorelai, to Roryi: No…this is your party. You do not work - you lounge and mock those who are. Have I taught you nothing?
Rory's Dance
Lorelai to Rory, after her accidental all-nighter with Dean following a school dance: “I have to know where you are at all time, especially when you are wearing my shoes.”
That Damn Donna Reed
Lorelai, when she sees Rory wearing the Donna Reed costume: “What’s with the dress?”
Rory: “It’s a long story.”
Lorelai: “Did it involve a sharp blow to the head?”
Dean, after his Donna Reed dinner: "It’s time to do the dishes. I’ll help."
Rory: "You’re a man, you can’t help for another fifteen years."
The Road Trip To Harvard
Lorelai (after seeing their room at the bed & breakfast): "Okay, I think we just found the first room in the history of the world that would've made Liberace say, 'Whoa! Step back! No one's that gay'."
Like Mother, Like Daughter
Rory, after Lorelai's first booster club meeting: "Lorelai...doesn't sound model-y enough, you need something that stands out more. How 'bout Waffle? We could call you Waffle and say you're from Belgium."
The Puff's pledge:
I pledge myself to the Puffs
Loyal I'll always be
A P to start
Two F's at the end
And a U resting inbetween
The Bracebridge Dinner
Richard: "Lorelai, you should be very proud."
Lorelai: "Thanks, Dad."
Emily: "Lorelai, your dress needs pressing."
Lorelai: "Thanks, Mom."
Sookie, after the Bracebridge group is snowed in: "That makes me so mad and so sad. I'm smad."
Lorelai's Graduation Day
Lorelai: "What if you accidentally hit a real pigeon?"
Rory: "Yeah, does that count?"
Dean: "That's never happened."
Lorelai: "What if a clay pigeon hits a real pigeon? Does that count?"
Rory: "Yeah, does that count?"
Lorelai to Rory: "Ok, look, nobody wants to admit this any less than me, but maybe you don't have a medical condition or a mental problem, maybe, honey, you are falling for Jess."
Miscellaneous Episodes
Lorelai, after Rory's breakup with Dean: "When my daughter comes home broken, I get to hate the guy that broke her. That’s how it works."
Michel's mother to Michel: "Let’s go buy something completely useless and pay way too much money for it."
Kirk: "Lorelai, I need a minute of your time."
Lorelai: "I’ll give you two because you scare me."
Lorelai: "My mother agreed with me tonight."
Rory: "I’m so sorry."
(after Rory and Dean's breakup)
Lane: “What’s a Thursday afternoon girl?”
Rory: “They’re those slutty girls that get guys to switch their Thursday afternoons with another check-out guy so they can go do slutty Thursday affernoon things.”
Lorelai, after Rory announces that they have to avoid any place she might see Dean: “Rory, darling, love of my life, you realize you’ve completely cut us off from Luke’s, where the happy coffee is?”
Lane, to Rory, after Henry asks her to dance: “If I’m not back in one dance you’re coming down with a bad case of anything that means we have to go home.”
Lane, to Rory: “I can’t believe I just gave my number to a potential Korean doctor.”
Lorelai, to Luke: “Tomorrow, if you have time, I’m planning on despising everyone who says, ‘Hey how’s it going?’”
Rachel (Luke's girlfriend who just came back to town): "Hey, how's it going?"
Lorelai telling Rory about her planned evening with Luke: “We’re picking out paint colors tonight, so it’s going to be hours of yes-no-yes-no until my world famous perseverance wears him down and he ends up curled up in a ball crying like a girl. Wanna watch?”
Lorelai to Rory, talking about the bags for a rummage sale: “Grab a bag and move it to the side of the room and be very careful; this pile just tried to eat Sookie.”
Lorelai: “You didn’t wake me up.”
Rory: “I set the clock.”
Lorelai: “Yes, but see the clock stops ringing once I throw it against the wall giving me ample time to fall back asleep. You, however, never stop yapping no matter how hard I throw you, thus ensuring the whole wake up process.”
Lorelai: “Rory. Kissing another guy is not being with Dean. Ask him. I bet he'd back me up on that.”